Time Out: Where the Caravan Camels Roam
Sly, Carmelita, and Coco stepped into the curtained off area of the boat Ca li-Ta had guided them to, uncertain what to expect. Salim al-Kupar was one of the most legendary of the Cooper ancestors, after all, and that legend held a sense of power to it. On the other hand, they'd seen what Le Paradox's handiwork had done to the other ancestors, and Ca's assertion that Salim was 'not himself' left them with concern about his ability to help them bring some semblance of normality back to the situation.
What they were not prepared to see was an elderly raccoon dressed like a rich merchant indulging himself with berries from a bowl. "Salim al-Kupar?" Sly asked nervously.
"And who are you?" Salim demanded incisively, not even bothering to look up from his bowl long enough to see who was talking.
"That's...rather complicated," Sly allowed worriedly, unsure how he was going to explain the situation if Salim wasn't going to even bother looking at him. "I'm...a thief new in town," he began carefully, "and I was hoping I could learn from someone as great as you. How about you come meet the rest of my gang, and I can explain further?"
"How about you go lick a camel's hump?" Salim snapped angrily before reaching for some nuts.
"Okay...look, I know you're in trouble-" Sly began awkwardly.
"You think you know trouble?" Salim interrupted angrily as he cracked the nuts open in his hand with a single squeeze before eating the meat within. "As young as you are with that on your arm?" He gestured dismissively towards Carmelita. "Why don't you go try telling the sandstorm you know how much life blows? It might be in the mood to listen to you, but I am not!"
"There's no need to be rude-" Carmelita began.
"I do not speak to unveiled women!" Salim snapped out angrily. "They are either someone else's wife and trouble I don't need, or no better than they should be and even worse trouble! Now get out!"
"No better than they should be, hmm?" Ca suddenly asked firmly as she stepped in, stepping around a fuming Carmelita as she pulled her own veil aside.
Salim seemed to wilt in on himself as she entered. "Ca li-Ta..." he wheedled placatingly. "Please, put your veil back on? What will people think?"
"The truth, probably," Ca responded acerbically. "After all, I am an unmarried woman with children, am I not?"
"You know we can't wed when my wealth is as a thief," Salim countered, though he remained pleading in his tone. "And you know I will never turn my back on you or our children, and will always provide-"
"Will you?" Ca snapped out, strutting forward in a way that demonstrated her anger and managed to flaunt her sensual curves. "Samun and Ki-sa still nurse but are without proper clothes, and La-di already prowls the streets with that monkey friend of his!"
"Bu-bu is a perfectly respectable-"
"Do you want our son having the reputation of 'street rat'?" Ca demanded angrily. "He is the one you say will grow to be your heir, after all! The one you want great things for? But no, you will just sit here in your boat and whine and whine, instead of doing what is right for the city, your children, and me!" She turned around. "But I am just a woman, after all. What right do I have to complain, when I'm no better than I should be?" Putting her veil back on, she stomped out of the boat.
Salim stared after her despairingly, then turned grumpily towards the trio. "So she told you I was here?" he asked flatly. "Fine. The reason I am in this state is because of a new Fine Lady in town, an elephant calling herself Miss Decibel, whatever that's supposed to mean. She's been throwing lots of money around, pretty much buying up the whole place. Ca's House of Secrets is one of the few she doesn't already own outright!"
As he ranted, Sly and Carmelita exchanged glances. It was relatively easy to see who Le Paradox's ally was here. Coco, however, kept her eyes on Salim, even as she slipped on the Mask of Dark Earth and gripped the Staff of Moonfire. While she didn't actually need a magic boost right now, she felt if she was going to get through to Salim to get his willing cooperation, she'd need to look the part of someone who knew ancient magic. The Mask resting atop her head rather than over her face did that quite well, she thought, especially with the glow of the Staff's hook.
"So I gathered my three remaining comrades who had not abandoned the city after having enough money to go wherever they wished to pull one last heist on this Decibel lady!" Salim continued, beginning to pace. "With the city under that lady's sway, I wanted enough I could afford to take Ca, our children, and her whole establishment across the desert to Agribh, where I hear the Sultan has interesting ideas regarding how to handle the succession when he has only one daughter...who is about La-Di's age." He gave a playful smirk. "I do want to look after my family, after all." The smirk faded into a scowl. "But as soon as we made it into the place, we were confronted by evil beams of light, sound with teeth, and fireworks that shot repeatedly and ate flesh and bone! She has a Djinn at her command, that is the only explanation! There is no other way she could wield weapons that cannot exist and deny all that has been discovered of science and magic so far!"
He slumped back onto his divan. "I had to abandon my thieving outfit to keep them from tracking me. I tried to sell it for enough to get Ca and the children out of town...but the elephant lady is determined to hunt me down! I have been...stuck, ever since. If you can bring me the outfit and show mastery of its hidden power, then maybe I can assist you."
"Perhaps I can do more for you than that," Coco spoke up, stepping forward so she could be seen. "I may be mistaken...but I believe your problems predate Decibel's arrival...or perhaps I should say, your real problem?"
Salim frowned somewhat nervously. "And what would you know?" he demanded cautiously.
"I have been trained in both the mystic and medical arts," Coco explained, "and if the right ingredients are available, then I believe I could mix you up a tonic that can prove most...beneficial. Is this of interest?"
Salim stroked his beard. "I'm...listening..."
Coco turned and handed a list to Sly. "Father, I have most of what I need and can work here...but you and the others will need to locate a few herbs, berries, and other things. It should not be too difficult."
Dad and the others worked together, both on getting my list of ingredients and getting Salim's thief outfit back. Getting the outfit back was rather straightforward. The merchant who had the outfit stayed very secure, so it had to be straight up bought with flawless gemstones, ones Dad, Uncle Razor, and Uncle T-Bone were easily able to retrieve. A few modifications to the Binoc-U-Coms from Bentley and Penelope made it easy for them to locate the ingredients I needed as well.
To our surprise, not only did the outfit allow Dad to literally slow down time - unlike the Slow Time Cooper Technique which only enhanced reaction and awareness to make it seem time had slowed - but Dad was able to spy on a meeting between Miss Decibel and Le Paradox himself! Not only did we discover part of Le Paradox's plan - falsifying a 'royal lineage' for himself - Dad was able to trick the locations of Salim's compatriots out of Miss Decibel!
Once everything was gathered, the entire gang met up in the second of three floors in Ca's establishment...the lower floor being the business floor, and the third being the living quarters for herself, Salim, and their children. While Dad showed off the thief outfit, Ca fetched some refreshments while I finished mixing up the 'tonic'...
"So this outfit used to belong to a genie?" Sly asked Salim as he looked over the new outfit. It certainly fit the environment with the vest, tiny hat, and harem pants, and Coco had confirmed she could feel the magic in the staff.
"Yes indeed," Salim confirmed, not really paying attention as he was focused on Coco and the 'tonic' she was mixing up. "So...this will help me?"
"Indeed," Coco confirmed as she finished mixing it. "I just need to measure the dose." She poured a small amount into a cup. "Taking it undiluted would be...most unpleasant, so I would suggest mixing it with water."
"Not wine?" Salim asked in disappointment.
"It would dull the effects," Coco confirmed as Salim ruefully filled the cup the rest of the way with water before stirring. "Now drink up."
Shrugging, Salim downed the contents of the cup in a single swig, only to shudder at the taste. "Pfaugh! Perhaps just some juice next time, if not wine?"
"It might react with the fruit," Coco explained softly. "However, I am certain that it will be of great assistance to you...and Ca li-Ta."
"Do you think so-" Salim began, only to freeze as he saw Ca li-Ta enter from the upper floor.
Rather than the outfit she wore on the 'business' side, she was clad in a simple silk robe that gave her complete modesty, but still shaped well to her curves. "I do hope you 'travelers' will enjoy my cooking," she offered playfully as she set out the dishes. "I'm certain it isn't what you're used to."
"I'm sure it'll be great!" Murray declared excitedly as he began to chow down. "Delicious!"
Ca chuckled as she moved towards where Salim was sitting. "Well, as long as everyone's comf-MMM!" Her voice was cut off as Salim startled her by leaping to his feet and pulling her into his arms and locking lips with her, holding her tight against him. She struggled at first, but quickly melted into both kiss and embrace. When Salim pulled back, her eyes were wide and quivering. "Salim..." she breathed desperately before glancing at the others. "W-we're not alone..."
"Let me fix that," Salim responded eagerly, grabbing a nearby rope and zipping them both up to the third floor.
"So...what problem were you helping him with, anyway?" Bentley asked curiously as he and the others began to eat.
Coco smirked. She had to tell them this way. Looking up the rope, she called out, "Check with me if it lasts more than 4 hours!"
By the makers, their faces! And I think Murray's spittake actually shot completely over the boat out the window!
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So I'm just gonna assume that La-di is a play on Aladdin, I mean the Sultan and everything and Street Rat. Kind of obvious.
Also some how Coco knows how to brew what I'm assuming is what you get when you cross Red Bull with Viagra and an Approdisiac. Here's my question, WHY DOES SHE KNOW HOW TO BREW THAT!
Also so, Salim was just sexually represted? Go figure.
8535212
Over 50 in that time period. Erectile dysfunction.
That was amazing.
Why does Coco know how to brew... did Panda king teach her that after the adult scene in case Coco wanted a sibling?
I had a FEELING that was what she was making.
Oh god THAT had me almost roaring in laughter. Seriously she made VIAGRA several hundred or a couple THOUSAND years before its OFFICIAL creation?
God THAT was an indirect prank that even DISCORD would literally fall to pieces laughing at.
SWEET JINGLE BALLS AND FLYING BLUES! the end almost killed me! good one on ya mate!
It just occurred to me, someone should make a piece of fanart of THIS reaction. THAT would be a good match with this scene.
8535265
Alas, I still have a large backlog of drawings I want to do and no time to do them.
8535287
Ouch. That has to suck.
8535233
I don't think it was the Panda King who taught her that one; more likely it was either the croc lady Ms. Ruby or her Outback teacher.
If they're capable of practically stopping time the baddie just needs a couples smacks around the head for good measure.
However knowing game mechanics I'm guessing they had failsafe in place for that.
8535288
It does. What's really bad is that the longer I go without drawing, the longer it takes for me to get the quality back up to a decent level. I recently did a quick doodle and the eyes... Well, let's just say that doodle will never make it to my DA.
Yeah, I figured that was it. But you still did it so well.
8535304
Ouch. But a little practice and you should be back to normal.
I'm certain that with the help of Coco's potion, Ca Li-ta is going to be the new Miss Decibel. Loud and proud boys, loud and proud.
8535212
She's a teenager. With access to the internet. Who's been trained by one, if not two, of the best tech geniuses in the world.
All I know is that I'm proud of our little unseen Internet troll.
Anonymous indeed.
BENTLEY! What did you led Coco read this time?!
La-di? Bu-bu?
I see what he did there.
Bow chika wow wow. That was an easy fix, now how will the fix the problem in this time period.
... I'm... not sure how to feel.
On one hand, that was downright hilarious and had me choking on my snack.
On the other... I choked on my snack! Freakin' ow!
Bow Chicka Bow Wow!!!! Why do I think a fourth kid is on the way????? Also, totally love La-di being an Aladdin shout out. I hope that Coco eventually finds evidence he did get together with this version of Jasmine when the family returns to their own time.
*reads ending*
My reaction:
Did... did...
Did Coco just make Viagra?
Also awesome chapter XD
8535351 I've heard of sweetening the kitty, but this is a TOTALLY different story!
8535510
YUP! ONLY EXPLANATION!
Look! A dimond in the rough.
And I fell to pices.
Ahhh, sildenafil citrate, the prescription that must be covered because people with a penis need their erections...
But no more than 6 tablets per 25 days without having an underlying condition which means it's not being prescribed as boner juice.
Oh, but no, we don't WANT to cover medicine that will help with weight loss, that's COSMETIC even though our entire country has a huge obesity epidemic, and don't even bring up birth control as that's another can of worms. We LOVED dropping women's coverage because our basic packages don't include pregnancy services, then giving them a new plan at three times the premium for their pre-existing condition!
Is she making...
Hah!
Viagra
Vest?
…I wonder if Carmelita is going to:
1) Scold Coco for acting as a pharmacist without a license.
2) Take her daughter aside and very firmly tell her to never, ever, ever spike her father's drinks with it.
8535727
3) reverse 2
Okay so Salim is the father of Aladdin and wants to go to Agrabah, wants his family to be safe...but apparently was down when he was having 'performance issue's' and just needed a pick me up....pffthahaha
amazing
I must know how will this will end ...I hope not as the game does
OMBL you did not just have coco mix up a ed remidy
Ca chuckled as she moved towards where Salim was sitting. "Well, as long as everyone's comf-MMM!" Her voice was cut off as Salim startled her by leaping to his feet and pulling her into his arms and locking lips with her, holding her tight against him. She struggled at first, but quickly melted into both kiss and embrace. When Salim pulled back, her eyes were wide and quivering. "Salim..." she breathed desperately before glancing at the others. "W-we're not alone..."
"Let me fix that," Salim responded eagerly, grabbing a nearby rope and zipping them both up to the third floor.
"So...what problem were you helping him with, anyway?" Bentley asked curiously as he and the others began to eat.
Coco smirked. She had to tell them this way. Looking up the rope, she called out, "Check with me if it lasts more than 4 hours!"
Oh, btw...
Glad to see you're doing better Tats. Don't let the neighsayers get you down; it's a combination of sour grapes, jealousy, and- where your Mother crossover is concerned -the audience having too short an attention span to follow a convoluted plot without Solid Snake and his box.
8535683
Remember, medicine used to be about all that sort of thing, it only got reversed into the circus you described because of upper-crust dynastic warfare over who would own (and therefore survive) the technological paradigm shifts of the past 60 years.
When it became clear that the paradigm shifting was not stopping, these warring upper-crust dynasties found themselves dissolving apart in reaction to the constant chaos of newer wealth sources altering the relative value of older wealth sources. The remainders of those dynasties banded together in a survival pact, and together they lashed various governmental systems to themselves as a lifejacket for their existing wealth, then after finding that wasn't working, they turned into starving wolves and began consuming every sensibly self-managing commodity that was guaranteed to survive the paradigm shifts (such as medicine and food, among others) into part of themselves by every means possible, even when that meant spending their own hoards of wealth to cover up or transform illegal acts into legal acts after the fact.
At this point in time, the questions everyone is asking is "Can we repair the damage before we sink?" and "Are they planning scuttle the whole ship if we try?"
This was probably not what you intended to talk about...
8535953 I'm just a pharmacy technician who happens to have a grudge against insurance companies for how they want things to work.
/)•O•(\
8535384
He ain’t ever had a friend like Coco!
8535960
i like your vocation. :)
i wish actual pharmacists were available for appointments like general practicioners are, pharmacists really know their stuff about medication symptom relationships and vitamin/supplement interactions in a way that gp's don't, even nurses know more than gp's.
8536011 If you have questions about a medication that you take, feel free to visit the pharmacy that dispenses it, or any local pharmacy if you get it through mail-order, and ask for a pharmacist consultation. best if you go to whichever pharmacy dispenses your medication so they can look through your entire history and current therapy to see if they can nail down the source of your side-effect.
No pharmacist worthy of that title will refuse to answer a question if they are able.
8536025
can you clarify on this bit:
God I missed your writing Tets it is so good to have you back, and nice touches about the culture in the middle east and how even the most moderate of Islamic countries view modesty and the place of women back then, even if Ca Li-ta won't back down to her man just like every other hot blooded vixen we have seen in the Coopers' lives. Only thing that really threw me off reading this was how hostile Salim was since in the games he is so laid back that his problems seems more like he couldn't care about the Cooper gang, I honestly like this view a lot better as the games made him seem like the laziest member of the family
La-di and his monkey friend named Bu-bu.
Nice.
Wait,
Does he mean.....?
8535212
and thus, the "Tucker Brew" was born.
I've never had a friend like Tatsurou
I found myself whistling that one commercial after reading the last part