Time Out: Yar Har Fiddle Dee Dee
It didn't take us long to determine where we were. Despite it being in the 17th century, the place didn't look any different than it did in the modern era, when those who rebelled against the modern world clung to the old style of pirate life. This was Blood Bath Bay, as always an absolute haven to cutthroats, vagabonds, fugitives, and murderers. We would have to be especially careful when it came to exploring here. Not only did we risk disrupting history, a wrong move could be instantly fatal.
We found an empty dock and weighed anchor, tying off as we prepared to explore. We had a couple of objectives. The first was to find out who Le Paradox had from the present as his agent here in the past, and if they had any contemporary allies. The second was to locate Henriette One-Eye Cooper, the infamous pirate captain and Dad's ancestor in this era. Given the time frame, I made sure each of us was dressed in the local style - bandanas, eyepatches, ragged striped shirts, and so on - before anyone went looking, and it was Mom and Dad who would be going out to investigate, with Uncle Razor backing Mom up and Uncle T-Bone backing up Dad. Until we were more certain of who was who, we were going to try and keep technology and magic out of sight.
Mom's mission proved rather easy, as she instantly recognized the pirate vessel Death's Head, a modern vessel designed like one of this era, and a ship belonging to the modern pirate Captain LeFwee, known as the 'Smartest Man on the Seven Seas'. As for Dad looking up Henriette...
Things went...interesting.
Sly carefully made his way through the ramshackle wooden shanty town, searching for any sign of Henriette Cooper, her ship, or her crew. He'd tracked through the entire town it felt like, but hadn't seen even the hint of a ringed tail aside from his own. "Now where am I supposed to look?" he demanded ruefully.
"You know, there's one spot we skipped," T-Bone pointed out. "A spot that it's kinda logical a pirate would be in when on shore."
"And where's that?" Sly demanded crossly.
"The pub."
Sly blinked at that. "You know, I feel really stupid that I didn't think of that."
"Try feeling virtuous instead," T-Bone suggested. "Easier to swallow."
Sly quickly led the way back to the pub. "You really think my ancestor would be here in the pub guzzling booze?" he asked as he pushed the door open.
"...depends," T-Bone began awkwardly. He pointed to a table in the corner. "Is that her?"
Sly could only stare. Sitting there in a skin-tight blue outfit that was half pirate outfit and half thief suit was the most voluptuous raccoon female he'd ever laid eyes on. Based on the description from the Thievius Raccoonus and her portrait in the Cooper Vault, it could only be Henriette...but the portrait and description didn't really do her justice. She was lithe and curvy, with a figure that could almost put Carmelita to shame, with long, luxurious black hair that swept down her back. She had delicate facial features with a heart shaped face, and a single bright blue eye that could make a man's heart stop when it shimmered. Even where she was missing one hand, the wound was delicate yet made her seem strong.
The impression probably would have worked better if she weren't swilling booze half over herself, half on the table, and only a few mouthfuls here and there managing to make it down her throat. "More grog!" she bellowed at the bartender, who quickly obliged with a fresh mug before she put her head back down on the table to try and drink.
"Yeah...good luck with that," T-Bone offered, nudging Sly forward. "I'm going to stand over here." He gestured to the door, from which he could watch the entire bar.
Sighing, Sly made his way over to the table. "Henriette Cooper?" he asked carefully.
"Who wants to-hic!" Her angry retort was interrupted as she turned to face him. As her single eye managed to focus somewhat blearily on him, however, her angry grimace became a warm grin. "Who wants to know, cutie?" she continued, a drunken purr in her voice.
Sly felt the hair on the back of his neck and in his tail stand on end. "I...need to speak with you about an...important business matter," he managed to say. "Privately, if possible."
Henriette chuckled wickedly. "Oh, don't you move fast?" she slurred as she stood up and sauntered over drunkenly before draping herself over him, holding herself up by an arm around his shoulders. "Got a place in mind, or will any alley do?"
"Ma'am," Sly managed to stammer out. "T-this is highly inappropriate..."
Henriette chuckled throatily. "Ya talk funny fer a pirate..." she purred wickedly. Her eye locked on Sly's.
Sly was about to speak up...but then he felt the knife point in the back of his neck.
"You can either get out of my bar now," Henriette growled, suddenly stone cold sober, "and tell LeFwee that if he thinks I have that little pride he ain't as smart as he thinks he is, or I can gut ya here and write that message with your entrails across that tub he calls a ship! Hook or not, ship or not, crew or not, ah am still the most dangerous woman to ever sail these seas, and I will fry him up and eat him one of these days yet!"
Sly froze, unsure what to do. T-Bone attempted to come to his rescue. "You need to let go of my friend, miss," he growled as he reached out to grab her by the shoulder.
Before Sly or T-Bone could even blink, Henriette had spun and delivered a kick to T-Bone's left pudenal nerve, a knee to his chin as he doubled over, a stump strike to his solar plexus, and flipped him over to smash into a nearby table. She then had the sword he'd been equipped with out of his sheath and was swinging it at Sly, but he managed to catch the blade in the hook of his cane.
"We don't...work for LeFwee," Sly growled out as he struggled against the woman's surprising strength.
The woman blinked as she took in the shape of the hook. "...I can see that," she observed as she jerked the blade back, sending Sly off balance and catching him by his chin. She examined his face carefully. "...yes, I see the resemblance now. Pity. Ever since LeFwee captured the Admiral, you're the cutest face I've seen in these waters. I was actually considering it."
T-Bone managed to laugh uproariously through his pain as he caught sight of Sly's face.
I tried not to laugh when Uncle T-Bone told us about that. I really did...
Stats
Page generated in 0.061 seconds
Total duration
947 users online
1,408,313 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
THat was the best way that could have gone. of course the pirate would have had that reaction LUL
I don't know why, but I feel as though there's going to be a Monty Python reference as soon as he opens his mouth.
Or maybe I'm missing the actual reference and completely misreading the situation. Even odds.
I am going to take a shot in the dark and guess LeFwee is known for a great big stink and chasing after cats?
8465415
Dammit, forgot to delete the 'notes to myself' again.
Hope being a pirate is ok with Carmelita, also Coco holding in laughter never helps it just makes it harder to contain after the fact.
The old bird survived, eh? Thought he was swimming with the fishes...
8465415
Maybe, though that was the real guys name from sly 3 right?
I hope Sly and T-Bone aren't too salty about being taken down single-handedly so easily. Also, on the one hand we finally see a female Cooper, on the other hook it's a Cooper interested in future Cooper. I'm also pretty sure that Henriette pretty much tabled the option of T-Bone 'saving' Sly.
8465500
If anything I think this cooper might be the best melee combatant of almost all of them, being a pirate surely leads to a ton of close encounters, brawling and so-on.
8465415
8465472
Yeah, he's from Sly 3, you get information out of him at the beginning of the...second to last chapter i think? But in canon he had basically useless eyesight due to his age, so im curious how different he is.
8465469
You mean the Hammerheads or the Makos?
8465555
I don't know what Makos are unfortunately... but there WAS that Kraken Guru brought in baseline...
8465552
You're thinking of Black Spot Pete, the old Pirate who stole Dimitris grandfathers diving gear. LeFwee is the big bad of the chapter
Well... I mean...
Long as they make efforts to not make the wee pirate babies, I don't think a few quick romps would hurt 
HOHO
Good show!
Hopefully, LeFwee isn't a LeChuck knockoff.
Interesting, a gender mix up to the usual to character roles.
Sly and T-Bone are really lucky neither of them got stabbed.
8465557 Hammerheads and makos are both types of shark...
Considering you can google things with three hand gestures on a mouse these days, you literally have no excuse for that level of willful ignorance.
8465601 Sly's fiance would like a word with you about that...
8465594
Oops, been about a year since i played, so it was mostly a guess, my bad. thanks for the correction.
Oh, this is going to be fun! Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
8465557
That's a reference to Mass Effect 1 and 2 actually. The Mako is the tank you drive when exploring planets in the first one. The Hammerhead is the replacement; it was faster and had better handling, but had really low armor.
Because of the way the third game was structured, the Mako didn't make a return. As for the Hammerhead, the base where the retrofit was being done was hit by the Reapers.
You combined chapter 5 of Sly 3 with Thieves in Time. Sweet.
I'm gonna have this singer's voice for Henrietta in my head now.
That, and a pirate song. Loverly piracy song!
8465690
Shh shh shhh... let me dream
I heard this old song on Pandora about this guy marrying his grandma so that he could be his own grandpa.
In Sly's case (As soon as time is fixed and the plan with Carmelita falls through and if he was insane...) he would be his own great great great great great great great great......................... great grandfather.
8465601
Honestly I was thinking it would have been funnier if one of the SWAT Kats caught her eye.
Since no one else has yet, I'll just leave this here
Don't belive you.
Err... Henriette, that's your nth degree grandson you are complementing.
8465552
Did he? I need to replay HaT. Didn’t realize he couldn’t see. Cool little tidbit there
8465877
Hehehe, that would have been interesting as well.
8465965
Pretty sure A. She doesn't even know that and B. the connections via blood would be so thin it wouldn't matter. Not saying I'm encouraging it or anything, just saying
Because someone needs to say it...
8465557
I'm talking about sharks native to the Cuban waters. Mostly hammerheads and mako sharks out there.
Yeah! I was bummed when you skipped this one, but now you've managed to squeeze it in!
8466143
Please, this is the better version
This chapter reminded me of DBZ Abridged
"Oh, a mama's boy, huh? I'll be your mommy..."
*Internal screaming*
8465689
Now, see, I thought you were referring to a fictional thing, and didn't care to look for what that was...
8465709
...Like that.
8465877
Who says one won't? She's still yet to meet the other.
8466181
*! Power Ranger Pirates! When did that happen?!?
Ok, one, being animated by the artiest of Gold Digger trumps Ale Storm on their own. Two... HOLY *
8465965
Eh, she wouldn't get pregnant. So it'd work.
8466692
http://powerrangers.wikia.com/wiki/Gokaiger
8466846
Minor clarification: I searched YouTube and discovered the the title you just supplied, and then used Google to find the supplied link. It was only then that is posted, because OMGWTFBBQ! Pirate Power Rangers! Why didn't someone tell me this was a thing?!? We already had Ninjas, so that only leaves Cowboys and the trifecta will be complete. They haven't done Cowboys yet, right?
I like this Cooper.
You cheeky bastard, working Lefwee in the story after leaving him out of the original storyline.
I won't lie. After the way you described how Sly saw Henrietta, my mind drifted to Futurama. (Please know what I'm talking about.)
8467283
I don't watch that show.
8467308
<---(my face)
sigh
I'll be brief (as much as I can cause I suck at summaries)
One episode, Planet Express crew travels to the past (because of something with an exploding star and a malfunctioning microwave.)
One member, Fry, decides to visit his past grandparents, which Professor Farnsworth lectures him about disrupting the past and how he might cease to exist if something happens to the grandparents.
Fry meets his grandfather, Enos. He overeacts and, being the idiot he is, nearly kills him several times "protecting" him.
Fry takes Enos to an abandon house and keeps him there to prevent him from dying. Fry then finds out the house was located in the middle of a nuclear weapons testing range and Enos is killed by a test missile.
Fry, however, is still alive and confused as to why. He, later, encounters his past grandmother, Mildred, grieving about Enos' death. Fry consoles her and she starts seducing him. Fry is reluctant, but convinces himself that since he still exists, his grandparents might not his actual grandparents.
And then:
i.ytimg.com/vi/HbDpcDQM2R0/hqdefault.jpg
"Tadow."
The next morning, the crew find Fry in bed with Mildred and insist that she is his biological grandmother. Fry asks "If she's my grandmother, then who's my grandfather?"
Farnsworth replies "Isn't it obvious?"
Fry shakes head.
Farnsworth points at Fry and answers "You are!"
Fry screams in horror.
Blah, blah, blah, other side of the plot involving Rosewell.
In conclusion, Fry is his own grandfather.
The end.
retribution.fm/r/28/images/image16.gif
Sorry for the huge reply, but:
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/might_need_invader_zim.gif
to do so.
Don't know why.
I'm going to bed.
8467447
...or you could have just left my reply alone accepting I don't watch the show because I don't like it and didn't want to know.
8467447
..........................................
..........................................
..........................................
That lengthy reply seemed really unnecessary.
Sly's got a knack for the ladies, even if they are related.
8465469
Different timeline....same fate I'd wager.