Fact 101
Outside her kitchen area, Twilight stopped and gasped.
“What is it, darling?” Rarity asked behind her. “Another paper cut?”
Twilight shook her head. “No. The last draconequi fact… fact 101 isn’t in here. It’s like the page was ripped out or something. Discord must have torn it out before giving the book to me. It must be rather important.”
Something else banged and scratched inside of Twilight’s kitchen ahead of them.
“But I don’t think that matters anymore,” Twilight added. “Spike’s still upstairs, so that means it just has to be Discord in there. Prepare yourselves, girls, I have a feeling this might just become the largest battle we’ve ever faced before.”
In the dark hallway, Rarity charged her horn while Applejack got her lasso ready. Rainbow Dash soared into the air while Fluttershy tried to form herself into the tightest ball she could become. Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, bounced on the spot like she usually did.
On the count of three, all six mares—Fluttershy being dragged along by Pinkie Pie—raced inside the kitchen area and halted at once.
Instantly, Twilight pointed a sharp hoof up at Discord. “Stop what you’re doing right this instant!”
Caught unawares, Discord set down the fridge held tight in his arms and cocked a brow at her. “Stopped me from doing what exactly?”
“Something…” Twilight began sluggishly. “Something to do with…”
“Something down right terrible!” Applejack finished for her, before pursing her lips. Anxiously, she scratched at the back of her head. “You… uh… mind skipping the guessing game and telling us what you’re up to in here? That might save us a little time.”
Discord exhaled in disbelief as his shoulder’s slumped. “Seriously? I just gave you a book loaded with draconequi facts and you still don’t realize my master plan?”
All six mares shook their heads.
Discord leaned on Twilight’s fridge and chuckled. “Why, I’m stealing your fridge, of course! ‘Draconequi fact 42: Draconequi love stealing and hoarding ponies’ fridges.’ Did you even read that far?” He waved a claw and guffawed loudly. “It doesn’t matter anyways. Once I steal Twilight’s fridge, that means I’ll have a total of four fridges! And once I steal another six fridges, that means I’ll have a total of ten whole fridges to call my own!”
Fluttershy shuttered at that. “And what happens once you get ten whole fridges?”
Discord stopped in mid-laugh to ponder on that. “I have absolutely no idea. Profit, maybe? I dunno. But I’m sure it can’t be good. Anywho, it’s been a long day, so I’ll just be taking this fridge here and getting on my way. Smell you later, Princess!”
With that said, Discord grabbed hold of Twilight’s fridge again and rocketed through the ceiling and into the pitch black sky. A moment later, a thin bit of parchment fell through the hole in the roof, singed around the edges.
Twilight grabbed it with her aura and read it to herself, hanging her head down.
“What does it say, Twilight?” Rarity asked.
“It’s the final draconequi fact—fact 101,” Twilight replied dourly.
“And?”
“Fact 101: Draconequi love making up fake draconequi facts—usually for stupid gullible ponies.”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “Sounds about right. But why you look so glum? Weren’t you expecting that the entire time?”
Twilight gave a nod, but didn’t raise her head.
“Yeah. But it also says he clogged my toilet before he left and took my plunger with him. True story.”
Okay. Some explanation.
I've been meaning to do a micro story for a long time now (a ton of tiny entries that equal a story), but never had any good ideas. So, one day, while sitting down to write a larger chapter of something else, I completely lost all drive. "Another 3-4k of material? I don't wanna. I want something idiotic and short!"
So I thought about Discord's fake book in "Any Last Requests?" and decided to write it. "101 facts? Easy! Should be fun!"
18 facts later and you realize how terrible an idea this was. 64 facts later and you start missing your other stories. 101 facts later and you start visiting your parents just to get hugs.
Regardless: Best/worst fact? Got one of your own? Come on now. I thought of at least two that weren't completely terrible. 
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looks intriguing my friend.
Alright, I think this story is hilarious. You are a writing god, Derpy. Also, just taking a shot in the dark: Discord is one of your favorite characters, correct? He IS mine. He's more than just the annoying troll of the show, he an actual character, who has had plenty of development, and I love him
Fact 102: A single member of the species is called a draconequus. However, technically every individual of the species is a plural entity.
7153692
Fact 103: Discord is best draconequus
7153737 Fact 104: Draconequi don't actually ice-cream. They just eat it when it's most inconvenient for the pony in question.
Nope. That’s totally not an author name I’ve seen before. Not at all.
So draconequus individuals are plural whenever they feel like it? Makes sense.
I would like to see art of this.
Knighty, please add the ability to use Comic Sans in comments .
I would also like to see art of this. The mouths, I mean.
disdain?
Fact 103 (alarajrogers took Fact 102): Years before King Sombra’s reign, a draconequi accidentally started the changeling race by spilling blackberry frogurt on crystal ponies. Said frogurt was cursed. That’s bad.
I can't even begin to describe how amazing this is
Fact 105: It is thought that Celestia is an Alicorn...this is not quite true.
Alicorns are simply Draconequis in denial.
That was fun. Could definitely stand a pass or two with the Edit-o-Tron, but fun nonetheless.
You know what I bet the real joke is? Every single one of those things was true, and now Twilight will never believe it.
SEXUAL FACTS!
Oh, Twilight. You should've known better than to read a book full of cheesy facts written by Discord. I think my favorite facts were the ones that reacted to Twilight's actions (37 and 79).
If there's one fact I want to add, it'll be this:
"Draconequi know how many licks it takes to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop: one. They just eat the whole thing because they're so tiny."
This is hilarious in the most perfect way
7154300 It seems mildly familiar, but I can't place it.
...and it was rather simple and funny.
Another Discord fic? Sombra's beginning to think you forgot about him. He came over and I spent about four hours convincing him you hadn't.
(Totally joking, this fic looks great haha.)
Twilight has yet to question Pinkie and/or her family about her existence
Huh... I was expecting the last fact to be the Draconequi loved making fake facts, but I figured he'd tack on "True Story." By having a sentence fragment, the fact is not necessarily a lie, because he's not speaking in complete sentences, but it also has a 91 percent chance of being false, which would make it a lie.
Also, 9% of the current "facts" given cannot be false. 21. exists to prove 22. 22. Can be false, but 21. cannot be false in and of itself. 33. and 34. are actually the same reason tied by an elipsis, bringing our list of "facts" down to 100 -- which is important for the math. 37. is a simple statement not a fact. 19. 46. and 64. were meant as omens and not facts, so their validity doesn't matter when they served their implicit purpose to be seem ominous. 69. is similar to 33. 78. and 79. are also commands/omens and were never meant by the author to be taken as pure fact but as foreshadowing. That brings us to 8 not-lies in 100 "facts". If 101. is true, 91 percent of the rest of the would be presumably false, but if "True story." was tacked onto 101 that would lend merit to fact that 36 may be true and that might mean 101. is meant to implicitly be read Draconequi like making up facts, but not all facts you hear may be wrong, and that would drive Twilight crazy trying to figure out which facts were true and which weren't and if the paradox of that clashing with the original reason for some reasons to maybe be true means she's barking up the wrong tree, but that would set everything back in place so that 36. has merit again so suddenly she's back to the right tree only to find the wrong tree again, and then she'll come to hate that metaphor, which will cause her to hate trees, which will cause her to hate Tree Hugger(s).
Just as planned.
Ok... I'm done now. Got it all out of my system.
By far, my favourite fact was;
It really got anticipation going for what he was up to, and I did not expect that. Kudos
7154315 i can tell you that it was used before in "Any Last Requests?"
7154989
Hah! That's it!
7154573 Good point. Changed.
7154524 I dare anyone to try something like this. From the outside, it may sound fun, but then you get to "Fact 20" and realize 101 is a rather large number. Although, I'd just love for this to become a type of story:
"101 Love Tips From Princess Cadence", "101 Friendship Solutions With Twilight Sparkle", "101 Ways To Be Awesomer By Rainbow Dash", etc.
7154498 He's a big part of "Bad Dude" still. I also have two Sombra stories in mind -- one involving Flurry Heart and one involving Fluttershy.
Or maybe I'll just do "101 Nefarious Deeds Performed By King Sombra".
Probably need the DARK tag for that one. No. No more 101 lists. Please. It hurts.
7154288 Purely for kidnapping reasons, I promise you.
7154269 Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed this oddity.
7154113 Where!?
7154079 Went through and did some corrections. I've become scared of editors recently. Not a single story of mine that went through an editor has ever been featured. What could this mean?
7154041 Thanks for saying so!
7153997 I've started recycling my own jokes. I've officially sold out.
7153737 That's a given.
7153681
7153620 Discord is definitely a top five character. I seem to always have more ideas for villains than for the mane six. Perhaps due to my dark nature.
7155268 Or maybe the Villains are more fun to write, because they don't show up in the show all that often. Or at least that's how I see it. But yeah, I have more fun writing villains too.
I'm surprised how funny, weird and strange this story is...
I really like it! How what if he wrote a 101 facts about Alicorns? That would be interesting
7155266 I feel you took on a giant workload here, Mr. Best Pony. This sort of thing is more suited to a collaborative project.
7155567 I was thinking about starting a blog or forum to collect some "facts", but worried about getting no response or people thinking it was weird. Maybe next time!
And that is that.
I give this a hearty 10/0 ^ :discord: + a gold star
Great job!
7155408
101 Facts About Alicorns sounds like a suitable sequel.
Your story has reached the top of the featured list:
http://imgur.com/oGM4VQ4
Ten fridges?! That's as many as one tens! And that's random!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/108/061/lexluthorcakes.jpg
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/199/637/1321249215.kturtle_sixcorncakes.gif
If Discord and Celestia ever fused, my friends we'd have the biggest troll in any world on our hands.
Great story. It deserves to be featured.
7155661 Very cool.
And very unexpected. This story's a little weirder than most.
7155652 Thanks!
Glad you liked it.
7155580 I like this fact.
7155870 Thank you.
7155942 True. Fixed! Thanks for the spot.
7155408
Why? Apparently Celestia's plot would fill up the entire book.
7155883 Not random enough.
7157155 True Story.
You got several laughs out of me. Well written Discord is my favorite thing on this site and you did an admirable job.
I love 93.
Thanks!
7154113
Didn't you see the facts about Nobel Thought and the daconequus hole, slumber party activities, the whole shaking hands thing, and... fact number 69?! (teehee!)
7158263
Yeah, I know that now; I read that story about an hour after posting that comment.
7157393 Pinkie Pie, is in fact, the first draconequus.
The second was born 12,748 years earlier, because non-linear temporal thingies.
7158376 Thank you!
I like that one too.
7158212 Fine. You're immature.
7158130 If I could get enough suggestions in the comments or a blog post, I'd totally add an extra chapter.
7157772 Thanks for saying so!
Glad you enjoyed it.
I liked all of them.
I kinda expected the 101 fact. U mean come on who wasn't. This was a very entertaining story. Thank you for making it.
Have a 'stache.
My all time favorite has to be 41.
hey everyone read it in morgan freemans voice (the facts only though)
7160593 Glad you liked it. 41 is definitely in my top 10.
Next to all the dark ones.
7160037 Thanks for saying so!
7159667 Wasn't meant to. But I guess so.
7159370
"Don't cry for me. It is better this way."