The Pony I Wanna Be

by DragonShadow

The Pony I Wanna Be

The Pony I Wanna Be

Ponyville was a small hamlet with not very many ponies in it. One wouldn't think that a family as rich as the Riches would bother to live in a place out in the country without much social grandeur, but they had made their start there, and they were among the village founders. They had a place and a home here that they simply wouldn't in Canterlot. That was what Diamond Tiara had always been told, at least. That she was the heiress to the legacy of all Ponyville.

Now, however, as she walked the mostly-empty streets near the edge of town, she didn't see the legacy of Ponyville in her hooves. She saw a legacy of terror. A legacy of stomping through the town, taking what she wanted, and stepping on anypony who would get in her way. Or even anypony who didn't get in her way. It didn't matter. She was Diamond Tiara, she was the heiress, she was a rich pony of high social standing, and... she was sorry.

But sorry wasn't enough for her. That was why she was approaching Princess Twilight Sparkle's friendship castle on the edge of Ponyville. She was Diamond Tiara, she refused to dwell helplessly on her problems. She was a doer, not a worrier, and she knew what she had to do. So it was with confidence that she knocked on the front door.

The door peeled open moments later with a groan of protest, and standing just inside was the princess of friendship herself. Her horn was glowing with an energy that only came from an alicorn, and her mane swept back majestically from her neck as the wind from town blew into the castle. Her air of regality would have been complete if she weren't hunched over slightly in that special way that nerds had.

Wait, no, bad Diamond Tiara. No thinking of ponies that way anymore.

"Hello Diamond Tiara." Twilight Sparkle interrupted her thoughts. "What can I do for you?"

"I..." Diamond Tiara could only squeak at first, then shook her head and continued in a more forceful tone. "I need something. Something really important."

"Oh?" Twilight cocked her head quizzically. "What is it?"

"I need to go back in time."

"That's a pretty big request."

"But it's important!"

"I see..." Twilight put a hoof over her mouth, regarding the smaller filly with some curiosity. "Why don't you come inside? I think we need to have a little talk."

Diamond Tiara nodded and accepted Twilight's invitation. She'd never been inside the castle before. It looked a lot bigger on the inside than it seemed on the outside, but then she supposed that was the power of princess magic.

Princess Twilight led the way through the central chamber into the back, down a long hallway into what looked like a small living room, with several chairs scattered around a cozy lit fireplace that cast a warm atmospheric light with no actual heat, and a thick cushy rug laid out on the ground between the chairs dotted with sitting pillows. Every wall was lined with bookshelves and every shelf was filled to the brim with everything from tiny paperbacks to massive tomes.

"We're not going to the throne room?" Diamond Tiara asked curiously.

Twilight chuckled as she approached one of the pillows on the rug and sat down with an inelegant plop. "I only use the throne room for official business. Unless you'd prefer to go there?" Diamond Tiara shook her head. "Then please, have a seat." Diamond Tiara took a more dainty seat on the pillow in front of Twilight's, so they could face each other. "Now why don't you start from the beginning?"

Diamond Tiara shuffled her hooves in front of her for a nervous moment, then shook her head and steeled herself with a deep breath. "I want to go back in time because I don't like who I was."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Twilight... everypony in Ponyville knows what I was like before." Diamond Tiara fought back her blush as best she could. "I was terrible. I want to go back and get a second chance to not be so bad. I mean... if I can be good from the beginning, then things would only be better now, right?"

"I see." Twilight's expression was a blank mask as she nodded, her eyes locked onto Diamond Tiara's. "Time travel is pretty serious business. The consequences can be far greater than you think."

"I know, but I think it's worth it." Diamond Tiara crossed her forehooves over her chest with a firm nod. "Ponyville would be a much better place if I was..." She hesitated, then forced herself to continue. "If I was the pony I want to be."

"Are you somehow not the pony you want to be?"

"I'm close now, but that doesn't make up for everything I've already done." Diamond Tiara looked down at her hooves. "All the ponies I made fun of, all the mistakes I made... Silver Spoon still isn't talking to me, my parents are still mad at me, the other kids from Canterlot all give me funny looks now. Everypony says I've changed... but I don't want to have changed. I want to actually be a good pony."

"Is it not possible that you changed into a good pony?"

Diamond winced. "That's not good enough. I-I don't do things halfway. If I'm going to be a good pony and turn over a new leaf, I need to be a good pony from the beginning. Besides..." She trailed off for a moment, losing her energy. "If I was good from the beginning, everypony would be a lot happier. I wouldn't have made fun of Apple Bloom, I wouldn't have made Babs Seed do all those terrible things, I wouldn't have yelled at Silver Spoon all those times..."

Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath. "I know you have regrets, Diamond Tiara, but you can't dwell on them."

"I don't want to dwell on them... I want to get rid of them." She met Twilight's gaze again. "Can you send me back in time?"

"Yes, I can."

"Would you?"

Twilight shook her head slowly. "No."

"I can pay you! I can do anything you want! Just give me a chance! I can be better, I promise! And I'll make sure nothing bad happens!"

"This isn't about payment or even the risk to the timeline. It's about you."

"But we'd all be better friends if I was a good pony all this time!" Diamond Tiara insisted. "You're the Princess of Friendship, right? It's your job to make us better friends!"

"No!" Twilight's tone left no room for argument. It was so strong Diamond Tiara winced and jerked back a bit, her ears flattening against the top of her head. When she continued it was in a far softer voice. "What you're looking for simply doesn't exist, Diamond Tiara. Even if you changed the past you wouldn't be wiping out your regrets, you would just be replacing them with new ones."

"How do you know? I'd be super careful not to have any!"

"I know because everypony has regrets. Everypony makes mistakes that they carry with them for the rest of their lives." Twilight lifted one hoof towards her. "I know you have a lot to answer for, and bearing the burden of guilt is one of the most difficult things a pony can do... but if I may be honest, this guilt will only make you stronger." Diamond's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Look how furiously you're trying to set things right. You've rebuilt the playground, and you've funded more birthday parties than any single pony in Ponyville. Apple Bloom has told me that you approach your friends with the biggest smile each and every day. Honestly, your appreciation for your friends is admirable even to me."

"I'm just... glad to know what it's like to have real friends now..."

"Exactly." Twilight nodded. "I know it's hard to look back on what might have been, but everything you were up to now, everything you don't want to have been... it has made you into the pony you are." Twilight's lips curled into a slight smile. "Maybe you're not exactly the pony you want to be... none of us are exactly what we want to be, but that doesn't mean you're not a pony worth being."

Diamond sniffled softly. She hadn't even realized there were tears running down her cheeks. She reached one hoof up to wipe the liquid from her fur as she spoke. "What about Silver Spoon? What if she never talks to me again?"

"Then that's her choice, and you'll have to accept it." Twilight rose from her pillow to wrap a comforting hoof around the little filly. "But between you and me? Experience has taught me that friendship has a way of working things out in the end, no matter how much yelling happens."

Diamond Tiara couldn't help a small smile on her lips. "I'd really like that..."

"Then I have no doubt it'll happen someday." Twilight released her and stepped back. "As long as you work hard for the future instead of dwelling in the past, you can do anything you want from now on."

Diamond Tiara nodded slowly as she climbed to her hooves. "O-okay... I'll do my best..." Diamond Tiara ran a hoof over the polished marble floor. "So... you can send me back in time, right?"

"Yes, I can."

"Could you send me back to last Tuesday? I forgot to turn in some homework..."

Twilight smiled. "I guess you'll have to study extra hard to make up for it in the future." Diamond sighed. "Now come on, I think you have better places to be than cooped up in this cold castle with me. Like out with your friends."

"Yeah, okay... thank you, Twilight." Diamond Tiara followed the princess through the castle back to the front doors, which opened magically as they approached.

Twilight Sparkle waved after her as Diamond Tiara marched away from the castle, her gaze shifting left and right across the citizens of Ponyville going about their day. She had wanted to do right by them, from the beginning. They didn't deserve to spend all those years with the old Diamond Tiara about... but maybe Twilight was right. Maybe changing it in the past wasn't the answer... there was no going back, there was only going forward.

She nodded. She would remember everything she didn't want to be, and become exactly the opposite. She would use what she learned to become something better, and look forward to the day she could do real good in this town to make it up to everypony. For now, though, she did have some friends to see. And she found that, unlike the old Diamond Tiara, this new Diamond Tiara really wanted to see them.

Comments

[deadpansnarker]

This is a beautifully written fic, and will be added to my favourites post-haste, but I hope that the DT we see in Season 6 isn't quite this magnanimous. She still has to maintain her sass, and have a bit of a big head. It's what makes her who she is..

Twilight should have channeled Rafiki: “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.”

I wish I was Pinkie in this universe. She must be rolling in it. Lastly, I think Silver Spoon needs to chill a little. For Celestia's sake Silvy, Di helped you repair a fence. What more do you want... blood?

[BenRG]

Going back and trying to make your mistakes to never have happened is a fascinating thought but it doesn't really work because, so often, the good person you are now is due to your having realised and transcended their mistakes. Better to go forward and repair what is rather that fret endlessly over how you wish that which once was could be different.

[Fire moon]

I want to go back to 5 minutes ago because my dad yelled at me because I can't make bacon sandwiches

[Ultimate Warrior of Zera]

Nice. Can't believe she was going to resort to time travel, but glad Twilight set her straight.

[Azure Sandora]

Very nicely written. I hope we see a bit of this struggle for Diamond Tiara in Season 6.

[PonyThunder]

Realistic portrayal of what she'd be like in the next season, I'd say. Perhaps not so far as to go to Twilight asking for time travel, but I felt like this story accurately showed how Diamond Tiara would react post-redemption. Good story!

[Regreme]

Amazing one-shot.^^

[Smug Anime Girl]

7026365 I want to go back to the early 1900s to prevent Ferdinard from being assassinated, then 2001 to prevent my birth....

[Mudpony]

Just like DT to want to actively take charge of the situation.

I do have to say I'm not quite feeling the Twilight here though. She seems a bit too mature and experienced. More Celestia than Twilight. Which is something I'm sure is a comparison that would make Twilight happy, hehe.

7026547 Eh, messing with WW1 would probably already accomplish the prevention of birth. That's a lot of people in different places and dying at different times.

[DragonShadow]

7026723

Twilight has always had that demeanor when dealing with fillies. Even back in Season 1's "The Show Stoppers" her attitude towards the CMC's was very calm, assured, and education-minded. And she has behaved the same way in every episode since when dealing with them.

People don't behave the same way around everyone, people take on different "personas" depending on who they're talking to.

[Mudpony]

7026804 Oh, I know she interacts differently with them than others, but regardless, there's something missing. Maybe it's the lack of animation to go with it, to create a better visualization, the little eye rolls at the silliness, the little actions that convey that Twilight is amused by the kids' antics, even though her words still take the situation seriously, and so on. Whatever it is though, I'm just not getting Twilight.

[Photon Jet]

Aww...Now this was a sweet story. This is another reason why Twilight Sparkle is best pony.

Keep up the good work, DragonShadow! Your stories never cease to amaze us!

[Smug Anime Girl]

7026723 fair point, but stopping ww1 would stop ww2 and thus eliminate most of the problems we have today.

[Mudpony]

7027398 No telling if it would completely avoid the first world war though. There were a lot of factors that primed Europe to explode into war, so all that could happen is the trigger gets changed. Then the war happens later. Maybe that means things turn out better, but then again, maybe they don't. Furthermore, life wasn't problem free before WW I, so why would not having it fix it all? Japan and its imperial aspirations, for example...

[Smug Anime Girl]

7027440 A political debate on a mlp website...now I've seen everything.

[Yami Vizzini]

Sweet bit of character examination, though it doesn't have much of an arc- Diamond has an idea, Twilight sets her straight and delivers a moral. Though in turn it's nice to see somepony as smart as Twilight actually be fully in control of things for once.

[Crystalline Star MLP]

I want to go back two hours ago and get another cookie at the bakery.

[DragonShadow]

7028055

A story without an arc is pretty much how I define a "Slice of Life" story.

[Fluttercheer]

none of us are exactly what we want to be

That's harsh..... Is this meant as a subtle hint that Twilight isn't really happy with being a princess an an Alicorn and that she doesn't really want to be a princess?

[Jade Nekotenshi]

7028463 Twilight's got a fair few things she wishes she could do better, or could have done better in the past. (Look at how she reacted when Spike pointed out her old friends from Canterlot, for example.) I think she realizes, at least as much as any pony, that she's not perfect, and everyone has room for improvement, no matter how good they might be already. Trebly so in her case, because of her role models: first and foremost, Celestia, and to a lesser extent Cadance and Shining Armor, who are tough acts to follow (to put it mildly). Also, all her friends - she's done very well by and for them, and they by and for her, but if Twilight's anything like me, that just makes her perceive her own failings that much more keenly.

[Flint-Lock]

This one hurts. It hurts a lot...

[A Man Undercover]

This was a really sweet story.

I’m glad you made it. It’s not everyday you get to see a story focus on Tiara not being a bully to everypony. I love the character development she displayed here.

[MixMassBasher]

This is a great story. A shame that the show hasn't used DT in a long while...