• Published 26th Jan 2016
  • 6,155 Views, 179 Comments

Traitor - RF and AG



A very brief Star Wars: The Force Awakens crossover involving a certain Stormtrooper

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Traitor!

Months had passed since he had awoken on this strange world, full of colourful ‘ponies’; as they liked to be called. It amazed him and yet confused him at the same time, that time when he had first gazed upon the world. He had been taught by the First Order that humans were more exalted and pre-eminent than any of the other races out there. He had shown distrust and contempt for them, these ponies, yet they’d only tried to accept him into their fold.

In the end, he relented and resigned himself to the fate that there was no chance that he would ever return to the First Order. Why would he be able to? He knew that his life had ended back on that backwater planet called Takodana, because of that … traitor!

There was no other word to describe FN-2187, and he would put no further thoughts into that sequence. Once he resigned himself to the idea that he was dead and this was a mysterious afterlife for him, everything seemed to go smoother for him.

Two of the ‘ponies,’ who were named Celestia and Luna, had given him a place to stay amongst their castle, much to his surprise. They asked a sole favour in return for giving him a place to stay and a life to live, if that’s what it could be called. All they asked of him in return was that he protect their ponies if something calamitous ever happened.

At the time, he’d glared at them before marching off. Yet that had been ages ago, or at least it felt like it. Once he came around to the idea that this was his life, he agreed to do so, but on his own terms. The Princesses, as they were titled, rejoiced at the idea that they now had such a proficient soldier to guard their subjects. At least, if by yelling ‘Oh joyous day’ could one be considered rejoicing.

So he went about his daily routine, walking up and down the halls, making sure everyone that he saw was safe and unharmed. The best part about his job, was that the ponies had gotten comfortable around him once they understood what he did. So comfortable, that he hardly ever had to speak at all, instead letting them confirm that everything was okay.

It was weird for him to be so easily trusted with such certainty. In his ‘past life’ he had been nothing more than a foot soldier, given orders that he followed without question and nothing more. So it was jarring to be of some importance among the castle. Yet he ended up choosing to embrace it, for what else did he have to do?

As it came to be, one night, as he was making his rounds, he noticed a very strange phenomenon; there wasn’t a single pony in the castle. His soldierly instincts kicked into high alert at this, for he knew that something was afoot. Readying himself for whatever may come, he stalked through the castle halls, looking around each door to see if there was a threat that needed to be eliminated.

Yet he found nothing.

As he neared his way to the main hall, he heard shouting coming from two very distinctive voices; Celestia and Luna. He prepared himself for the worst, ready to see the two facing off against some sort of mighty or deadly being.

Yet there was no third voice, or even another sound, except the noise of the two of them shouting. Perhaps it was merely a simple argument? Though even if that was the case, he still had the presence of mind to be there and attempt to calm them down. He had done so in the past, entirely by accident mind you, so why not utilize his skills in as a soldier to put an end to the fight as quickly as possible? He barged into the main hall, throwing the doors wide open to reveal Luna standing in between the the two thrones, while Celestia stood closer to the main entrance.

Fate had other plans; it wasn’t a simple argument as he had hoped. It was far worse.

“There can only be one Princess in Equestria! And that Princess will be me!” Luna shouted before igniting her horn. The wall in between the dual thrones exploded, sending rubble everywhere. Celestia flinched, yet the Stormtrooper held his ground, thinking he was prepared for whatever came next.

He was wrong.

The moon, which he could see in the distance through the hole in the wall, shot up into the sky, completely blocking out the sun. He had long since come to grips with the fact that the way this world functioned; something, somewhere must have gone horribly wrong, in regards to the laws of nature as he knew them. Still, even after all the days spent here, he was amazed by the ferocity that seemed to be behind the rising of the moon. The moon’s movement was sharp and swift, like the rise and ferocity of a lightsaber, moving to its point, to block, parry, and intimidate its opponent; the sun.

The worst part had yet to come once the sky had turned black from the lunar eclipse. Black beams of an unknown substance shot forth from the moon itself, aiming straight for Luna. Once again, he hardly flinched, yet he knew deep down that something truly bad was happening. He wanted to hope that all of it was some sort of trick, or prank, but as the blackness began to encapsulate Luna, he knew it was anything but.

Her visage twisted and morphed until there was little left to remind anyone that the pony that stood there was once Luna. The alicorn that now stood in place of the once blue Luna, was as pitch black as a cavern that had never known the sun’s light. Armour encompassed her body, removing the simple decorative ornaments that Luna once wore. The creature’s eyes changed from loving, caring yet mischievous eyes, to those of pure malice.

Maniacal laughter left the creature’s throat, allowing the other occupants in the room to see her teeth change from being flat and equine, to adopting the serrated edges of a deadly carnivore. It was in this moment, as the creature laughed, that the Stormtrooper known as Nines knew what he had to do.

It was as if his life was meant for such a moment, for it had more or less happened before, and it was happening again right in front of him. He had prepared himself for a moment like this; he’d readied himself for his redemption.

“Traitor!” he yelled, stalking his way towards the creature, drawing his Z6 riot control baton. In a show of skill, he swung the baton in two quick circles before gripping the non-electrified end with his other hand. Without a second thought, he charged up to the monster, his baton ready to open an old fashioned can of whoop ass on the beast.

“You dare challeng-” the monster yelled before getting slammed in the face by the electrified riot baton. The force of the blow, hard enough and backed by enough electrical current, sent the twisted alicorn flying into the western wall of the room.

Her impact reverberated throughout the hall, the sound of her collision echoing even deeper into the castle. The force behind his strike was so immense that an impact crater deep enough to match the monster’s height twice over was left in the wall; yet still somehow, the beast was breathing and conscious. It had fallen from the hole in the wall, onto the rubble-strewn floor.

Nines knew what he had to do. The only way to redeem Luna was to knock her out and then let the ponies who understood what that black ichor stuff from the moon was to remove it from her. So wasting not a single second, he walked up to the prone alicorn, preparing to give a knock-out blow so they could capture her.

“Nines! Don’t hurt her!” Celestia yelled from behind him, and in the next brief second that followed, he turned his head to look at her. He knew what he needed to tell her: that he wouldn’t hurt her beyond knocking her out.

Yet the words never came; he instead felt a slow trickle of blood escape his mouth. He managed to turn his head around despite the immense pain, and in a brief glimpse of sobering realization, he saw what had happened.

In the time it took to respond to Celestia, he had left himself undefended. There, on the ground in front of him, was the traitorous alicorn, looking up at him with wide eyes, her horn dimming as the spell she cast faded. He glanced down just a bit more and saw the gaping hole in his chest, nearly the same size of the hole he had seen in his previous life.

He wanted to say something, to get some sort of last words out of his mouth, but they failed as his life slowly flowed from his body, letting it crumple to the floor.

The suspense in the room was immense, bearing down on the two alicorns, until the twisted alicorn stood up again. She looked over the crumpled, blood-soaked form of the newly deceased stormtrooper before looking back up at Celestia.

The day the alicorn feared the worst had finally come, but the eyes that she met were not the demon ones that Luna’s had become; no … they were the same eyes that her little sister had always possessed. The shock of her taking the life of the Stormtrooper caused her to reject the Nightmare’s attempt to fully possess her, instantly cleansing her on the spot, the black form of the alicorn started to dissipate as though it was black ichor being dissolved. In its placed stood a teary eyed Luna, her form being racked by great and grievous heaving sobs of sorrow.

Celestia rushed over to her little sister, embracing her in a tight hug just as Luna began to cry out for what she had done to one whom she had counted among her few friends. Celestia just held on tight to her sister, her eyes streaming tears as well at the loss of such a valued friend and loyal protector of the crowns.

For some time, the two stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s forelegs, just letting their emotions flow freely at the loss of a friend.


“And that’s the story of this statue, my dear student,” Celestia said to a young Twilight Sparkle as they sat in front of a specific statue.

The statue was of the heroic stormtrooper named Nines. He was in the midst of his classic spin trick that he did with his baton. He had loved to show that off before engaging in a duel, and it always seemed to frighten the other opponent, no matter how many times he had pulled it off.

“So he was real?!” a twelve year old Twilight asked her mentor with wide eyes, not realising that this statue was of a hero who had been deceased a long time ago.

“Indeed he was, my faithful student. He was a great defender while he was here, and an even better friend. If it wasn’t for him, then my sister wouldn’t be with me right now.”

Twilight Sparkle smiled greatly at the idea that this ‘stormtrooper’ had saved Equestria, yet one thing puzzled her, something she only now noticed about the statue. There was writing a little higher up than she could read, what with the statue being roughly thirty feet tall, not to mention the slight fading to the words inscribed on the plaque.

“What does that plaque say? I can’t exactly read it.”

Celestia chuckled lightly, before picking up her student in her forelegs and lifting her up to the plaque. “It’s merely a joke that we had used when he was still around. He always laughed at it when we used it, and figured that it should be one of the main things we remember him by.”

Twilight read the words quietly to herself before looking over her shoulder to Celestia. “I don’t get it.”

A small, yet sad smile graced Celestia’s face as she looked up at the statue once more. “He died for our spins, Twilight. He died for our spins.”

Author's Note:

Just a little crackfic I had to write, came to mind and wouldn't leave until I wrote it and published it!

Don't take it too seriously.

Thanks to AuthorGenesis, Doctor Candor, PhiliChez, and Word Worthy for their usual awesome editing.

Comments ( 176 )

No words can describe the whirlwind of emotions this has brought me.

Wow this was pretty awesome. I loved it. Good job

TR-8R resembles more loyalty then rainbow dash.
He died for our spins.

Comment posted by LaBirdie deleted Jan 27th, 2016

He died for our spins

6873466

This needs to be fucking framed as a masterpiece

6873466
6873473
The greatest memorial, for the best hero.

The irony is that this crack fic is better than some serious fics.

This needs a sequel. Somehow.

... a spinquel?

Seems that one storm trooper can't escape the eternal life of... being stabbed in the chest.

If there was an Elements of Harmony for Humanity, TR-8R would be our Element of Loyalty.

This is amazing. I'm moved to tears. REAL tears. I can't express how happy I am with you, how much I have a goddamn boner for you just from this little snipit of 2000 words. You glorious bastard. I will forever remeber how you portrayed the great man that is TR-8R.

Awesome work. I love the idea of TR-8R taking on Nightmare Moon and actually managing to get some good blows in. And not only that, but for a silly joke fic, this had some really good emotions in it. TR-8R is indeed the human embodiment of loyalty.

Oh yeah, and that joke at the end was great!

I'd like to imagine that Nines would show up anytime a "Traitorous Act" happens, no matter how small, insignificant, or miscommunicated it is. And the answer is always to beat it with his baton.

Sonic Rainboom
Rarity Showing up Dash
Nines: TRAITOR!
Shocks her wings off, and Dash has to save her making the Rainboom

Party of One
Pinkie: Oh no, my friends don't like my parties and they don't want to be my friends anymore :pinkiesad2:
Nines: TRAITORS!
Busts Down Barn Door Revealing Party

The Return of Harmony
Mane 6 all Grey and Discorded
Nines: TRAITORS!
Beats them all till their color and personality returns

The Last Round-Up
Pinkie: APPLEJACK! YOU PINKIE PROMISED!
Applejack Runs away
Nines: TRAITOR!
Knocks her down and the others get the truth out of her

Putting Your Hoof Down
Fluttershy becoming FlutterB:yay:tch
Nines: TRAITOR! (Whack)

A Canterlot Wedding
Nines: TRAITOR! (Starts Beating on Cadance)
Twilight: No Nines! That's the real Cadance!

One Bad Apple
Babs turns on them
Nines: TRAITOR!
Knocks out Babs, and DT and SP for good measure

Rarity Takes Manehattan
Coco comes in and gives Rarity Award
Nines: TRAITOR! (knocks out)
Rarity: What the heck?! She helped me!
Nines: She still Betrayed her Superior!

Rainbow Falls
Soarin: Ya, they haven't come back for me...
Nines kicks in the door and throws knocked out Spitfire and Fleetfoot in front of Soarin's bed.
Nines: TRAITORS!

For Whom The Sweetie Belle Toils
Messes up Rarity's dress, Falls asleep. Luna tries talking to her but then...
Nines: TRAITOR! (Knocks Awake)
Luna: What? But this is the dream realm, how did you...?

Trade Ya
Rainbow sells Fluttershy to Othros Mare
Nines: TRAITOR! (Knocks out) Then goes shopping.

Twilight's Kingdom
De-powered Discord: I'm so sorry...(Gives Medallion)
Nines: TRAITOR!!!
Twilight: But he apologized!
Nines: Still needs this!
Beats the snot out of Discord while Tirek watches in fascination, giving the Mane 6 Time to get new powers.

The Cutie Map
Twilight: Fluttershy, how could you...?
Nines: TRAITOR!
Fluttershy: No wait I-EEEP!
Starts beating Fluttershy
Twilight: NO YOU IDIOT! You're ruining our plan!
Starlight: Plan? Oh well in that case...
Nines: Wait, you're all a bunch of ponies that willingly gave up your Cutie Marks for the same one?
Towns Ponies: Ummm...
NINES: TRAITORS! TRAITORS TO YOUR MARKS!
Kicks the crap out of entire town.

Rarity Investigates
Nines continuously keeps chasing after Rainbow Dash, until the truth is revealed
Nines: Wait, it was that old Wind Rider jerk the whole time?
Rarity: Yes, that's what we've been trying to tell you!
Nines: Oh, well sorry for trying to beat you down Dash
Rainbow: Eh, no worries
Nines: Now if you'll excuse me (turns to Wind Rider) TRAITOR!!! (Beatings Commence)

The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows
Nines is constantly in the corner of Pinkie's eye, watching menacingly with his baton out, waiting to see if she cracks or not


The Cutie Re-Mark
Nines: So all this Time BS was caused because your colt friend got his mark and moved away and made you sad?
Starlight: Yes...now I see I may have overreacted
Nines: (Shrugs) Still, someone's got to pay for this (Raises Baton and strikes colt Sunburst in the face)
TRAITOR!

6874259 This needs a reward. It's so perfect. :rainbowlaugh:

6874259
You basically summed up the original plan I had to make it a running thing! Oh god this comment is perfect! Best one was The Cutie Map ... or The One Where Pinkie Knows ... so tough to choose!

Well... the random tag is there for a reason I guess.
Fun, yet still a nice little story :twilightsmile:

It was only a matter if time...damn it you traitor I wanted to make the fic.

6874259 The One Where Pinkie Knows... oh my. Already the funniest episode for me, that'd just make it even better. Nines just sitting on a chair in a corner, rubbing his hands together and muttering 'Traitor?' under his breath while glaring at Pinkie.

6874841 please go back to your original plan?

This is a masterpiece. Thank you. Let's all praise our Lord TR-8R:
2static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Starwars_af76f7_5780251.jpg
:heart:

Of all the crossovers, of all the fanfics I thought I'd never read, this came out; I love it.

6874259 Holy shit, someone make this a full blown fanfic

I couldn't stop laughing! Thanks for writing this amazing crackfic!

Congratulations! You have successfully summarized how the only thing people remember the new Star Wars movie for is a shitty forced meme (one which they will forget about in 2-3 weeks), and how referencing any recent dumb pop culture garbage can give you a free pass to the front page.

You spin me right round baby right round

6875017
I know right! I mean, its not like I found the scene funny or anything, then decided to say "hey, I feel like writing this hilarious idea down." Then proceeded to be like "okay, cool, people enjoyed this humourous little thing.

So without Nightmare Moon, does that make 'Past Sins' into 'Past Spins'?

6875049

Your idea is so original, I only had to look at the cover art and read the description to get everything it had to offer.

Coming up next: RF and AG writes a story about Donald Trump becoming the new princess of Equestria, at least until a bunch of trollfaces rain from the sky and he has to go live in a cave and be forever alone. True story. (edited by 9GAG)

Grow up.

6874259
I might just do a story off those now.

6875057
I write one story about something I found funny, and apparently a lot of people did as well, and I get crucified for it? Damn. Tough to please everyone I guess. Guess its back to writing my regular serious stories.

And Celestia gets to live with the complete guilt that his death was 100% her fault. ouo

It was only a matter of time...

6875057 Jesus man, you're the one who needs to grow up. It's a silly story about Star Wars. Just shut up and let people enjoy shit.

Best Star Wars one-shot I've ever read.

He died for your spins

6874869 Now I feel guilty! Your screen name was perfect for this! :fluttershbad: Do it though! Make a true fic, one that TR-8R would be proud of!

6875031 Like a record baby, right round, right round.

6875055 Yes, just yes.

6875085 While a crackfic this is, that doesn't mean there isn't some serious implications ... such as that.

6875097 :rainbowlaugh:

Ah cra evere taom.

6875073
I found it funny and amusing. This is fanfiction after all, and not everything has to be serious! Don't let some hater discourage you from writing what you like, it's suppose to be fun for you too :3

6874259
Please oh please write this :rainbowlaugh:

Nearly died laughing!

6875017
Well for one, people will remember far more about that movie than you obviously let us on to believe. In a matter of fact, this meme only came to my attention yesterday when I was surfing the interwebs.

how referencing any recent dumb pop culture garbage can give you a free pass to the front page.

Honestly, you seem to display both anger and jealousy towards the fact that this short and comedic story got to the front page. I don't know what to say other than that you need to take some time to cool down.

6875057
i.ytimg.com/vi/eL0Bm5QmJ1Y/hqdefault.jpg
Looks like someone consumed a large amount of sodium before typing away angrily about stories on a fanfic site :trollestia:

Your idea is so original, I only had to look at the cover art and read the description to get everything it had to offer.

Well I haven't see another story about this stormtrooper on this site, so I would argue that it's original. Unless you mean to complain about the usage of other characters outside of the show and included in a short, one chapter, story?

Coming up next: RF and AG writes a story about Donald Trump becoming the new princess of Equestria, at least until a bunch of trollfaces rain from the sky and he has to go live in a cave and be forever alone. True story. (edited by 9GAG)

Considering the timestamps from your previous comment and this one (At least for when I chose to make this reply) it only took you twenty-two minutes to make a childish and downright stupid reply...is this a new record for you?

Grow up.

4.bp.blogspot.com/-txfiIZunDE8/VeMCq7srM2I/AAAAAAAABgA/gLoFhsD6a28/s1600/irony-alert-ironic.jpg
Oh do go on, your comments are almost more comedic than the story :trollestia:

Well...almost anyways. I honestly couldn't be any more clear on how ironic those words are coming from someone such as yourself, considering the childish comments anyway. I tip my hat to you, good sir!

6875057 If there is anyone who needs to grow up and get a sense of humor, it's you. If you don't like stories based off of memes, DON'T READ IT! You look like an ass, attacking someone else's work just because you don't think it's funny and made it to the front page. The fuck's your problem?

6875168

So many funny pictures. They must mean you're a smart person. I am utterly humiliated and destroyed, while you have won the argument.

Well I haven't see another story about this stormtrooper on this site, so I would argue that it's original.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/308358/traitor

Ignorance is bliss, isn't it? If I don't know it existed before, then it's original. And nevermind that half the internet is already saturated with this turd of a meme.

6875177

"If you don't like it, then go away" is the weakest argument you could bring up to defend something.

6875073 Dark Avenger's take on things like this is worth about as much as the annoying pebble one can get lodged on the sole of their shoe after a nice jog.

6875199
I honestly don't know why this bothers you so much, though I probably won't ever understand.


6875206
Meh, there's a reason this story is in the "I Write for Fun" group. :P

6875199 Simple logic is a weak defense? I really hope you're just trolling.

6875017 Right. Because, God forbid, people write what they want to. I mean, the fucking nerve.

6875123 I will make da best one boss

WHY?! WHY DID TR-8R HAVE TO DIE :fluttercry::pinkiesad2::raritydespair::applecry:?!

Okashina!

6875244 This was great! Now make a sequel where he comes back to life during the Canterlot Wedding and beats the crap out of the fake Cadance for being a traitor:rainbowlaugh:

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