When a prince and a princess love each other very much, and they have some magic boxes...

"Wow," Flurry said. "That was needlessly graphic."

Well kid, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

I feel sorry for Trixie, but...

"Wow," Flurry said. "That was needlessly graphic."

killed me

The thought of Shining and Cadance using magic for sexual antics is sexy and hilarious. Twilight telling Trixie off did seem a bit harsh, but I understand that she'd still be rather standoffish with her thanks to her previous incidents (and it is before Season 3, so...) Overall, the wait for this final chapter was worth it. Great job!

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...Or hornier, as the case may be!

"Abracadabra," Trixie said, pulling one of his purple legs toward her with her magic, "Gonna reach out and grab ya."

That was hilariously corny. I love it.

Also, poor Shining. Evil, evil Cadence.

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Well, you have to keep in mind that this chapter takes place just after the Canterlot wedding, before Magic Duel. And as much as I love me some Twixie, (And I do love me some Twixie) I needed Trixie to treated appropriately after Boast Busters, and in such a way that would still plausibly lead to her motivations for Magic Duel.

Also, Twilight's reactions in the episode Boast Busters feels more appropriate after the events beforehand, hesitant to rise to Trixie's bait in any kind of stage performance, and likewise pretending not to know her. It also gives more weight to Trixie selecting her from the crowd.

Unless it is made obvious otherwise, I try to mesh my stories seamlessly with canon.
That's just how I roll.
mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-2651176-1-Let-s-Ride-fluttershy-32371820-550-400.gif

7237363 "Well, you have to keep in mind that this chapter takes place just after the Canterlot wedding, before Magic Duel."

Well... yes, that's what I said earlier, ha ha.

"Abracadabra," Trixie said, pulling one of his purple legs toward her with her magic, "Gonna reach out and grab ya."

Now there's something I haven't heard in a while...

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Well kid, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

... or makes you wish it had.

7200844 can I ask you when that comes up cause I haven't heard that before and I have thousands of hours in that game

7318872 It's in the Tiny Tina's DLC. Totally worth getting if you like D&D tropes. A lot of fun.

7319162 Thanks by the way it's my second favorite dlc in all of the borderlands series my favorite is the pre sequel's claptrap dlc

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I was loving it until you made Twilight a complete ass to Trixie for no good reason. Completely ruined it for me. :/

7400449 How would you have Trixie behave as she does in Magic Duel after this story? I'm honestly asking, since I struggled with that part of it for a while. Twilight had some reasons to dislike Trixie after the events earlier in the story. I had a hard time finding a balance in her (Twilight's) demeanor toward her. So I'm honestly asking. How would you have Trixie act as she does in Magic Duel after this story?

7406714 Staying true to the show isn't important. Since fan fiction by it's very nature breaks canon why make yourself a slave to it? You're already SO far away from canon why bother? What matters is that you stay true to the spirit of the characters. Who cares if it doesn't match up? What matters is whether it's a good story or not. As long as you stay true to their core personalities (even when subverting them or even twisting them) you're golden.

In this story I can accept Trixie not getting to join and twilight letting her down easy if you must do so (even though I feel it makes no sense within the story) but what you have is bad. You should have had twilight be sympathetic and caring. What you have ruins my support of twilight though this all. IMO It makes the reader feel duped by her and resentful of a character that has been nothing but confused, wanting and sympathetic the whole time.

All that said I do think there's a lot of potential here for it to become great. I appreciate your being willing to listen to feedback btw. I'm usually reticent because I don't want to seem ungrateful for what I have enjoyed or seem like a douche.

7408019 Thank you for your input. Really! What you've said is absolutely correct, and very enlightening.
In hindsight I feel very foolish for trying to fit this story into a narrative/ characterization box that it didn't belong.
I will certainly go back and re-write it as soon as I get the opportunity, to better befit the story as a whole. I will be sure to message you when I do, so you can have an opportunity to re-read it.

7424512 I just appreciate you being so understanding of my critique. I really do appreciate your work. I'd hate to ever discourage someone from writing.

7424512 Don't rewrite it : just do an alternate ending

7463196 Okay.

Hm as was shown in No Second Prances Twilight CAN keep grudges, and be quite fixed in her judgments. So it may be plausible that she reacts somewhat badly to Trixie, and simply Trixie just rubs Twilight REALLY wrong... at least...out of bed lets say... It can happen. Just to say an alternative ending would still be much appreciated ^^

7534539 It's on my to-do list.

Oooh CADENCE died a horrible death by stabbing, this time!

Seriously though, bitch move, cadence, you dont fucking do that

7624480

Somewhere around the two-third mark it went from "something that shouldn't exist, but does, and is actually not bad" to just plain "nope". I think Trixie comes back at around that point? Her behaviour there is completely unlike how she is earlier on in the story. Mind you, it's not so much that things happen, it how fast everything suddenly goes.
Shame, really, because up until then it was a great read.

Wow, that was great! The story was good, the clop was hot, ten outta ten.

Just a few errors in the story, nothing too big. I definitely wouldn't mind rereading the entire story again just to find them if you needed me to.

Wow... I approve.

Nice brick joke at the end there.

That was... Needlessly graphic
Great story

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Excuse me Shakespearicles I was wondering if you could write your story a horse divided again but instead of having shining armor in the story you have rainbow dash rarity princess cadance princess luna and princess celestia in the story but keep twilight sparkle and trixie lulamoon

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consider it considered

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Oh thank you very much🙏 for considering it Shakespearicles