• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Tuesday

SaintChoc


I write to my fancy!

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It's been four months since Applejack and Rainbow Dash began their relationship. Applejack's spending the holidays with Pinkie's family once again, leaving Rainbow in Ponyville—a decision that leaves them both unsure.

A short story , written for The Fourth AppleDash Contest; about family during a special event.

All comments and criticism welcome!

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 45 )

Liking this so far. You write pretty well.:twilightsmile:

I wonder what got Applejack so down all of a sudden.:rainbowderp:

This is a really good story! Keep it up, man!:twilightsmile:

10/10
You did a good job with this. I loved it!:twilightsmile:

6646987 You mean besides the fact that she misses her mare?

Dammit I have alergies and u made me bloody cry ya darn fool! XD :fluttercry::rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy: BUT AWESOME STORY NOW I CRAVE COCO BRB I NEED TO FIND IT!

Well, you made me d'aww.

Cute~ This was nice to read. ^^

I don't even ship AppleDash and I absolutely f***ing loved this.

6647186 i kind of thought it was about something with Uncle Hayseed. My bad!:twilightblush:

I know apple bloom means well but gee whiz kid, AJ's got enough on her mind.

That was lovely, and I liked how everyone was involved and that ending makes me smile with glee.

Very good work. Started out a little slow but by the end it worked out well. Good luck on the contest.

Well congrats you got posted on EQD, time for you to get a whole lot more views.

Ah, the first Holiday together. The decisions about who's going where that first year suck.

I have a feeling you wrote this to shit on pinkie's character. the way you wrote the summery. "applejack goes to see pinkies family again for hearthswarming leaving dash behind and it leaves them both unsure" you made it sound like spending time with pinkie was bad wow is me or do appledashers love shitting on pinkie? i mean that summery makes it sound like OH NO I AM SPENDING TIME WITH PINKIE THE HORROR I RATHER SPEND IT WITH RAINBOW DASH BECAUSE I RATHER SPEND MY HEARTHSWARMING EATING PUSSY THEN SPENDING TIME WITH MY FAMILY! nice going jackass! i hope your family gets mad at you when you act like its horrible to spend time them just because you rather spend it with your boy/girlfriend! family is important! i hope you fucking realize that!

6778985

W-what? You saw THAT as shitting on Pinkie's character? That's not... that's not close to true. It's not about Pinkie at all.

I'm not even an 'Appledasher.' I wrote this for a contest, as I say in the description. I have basically no ship preference whatsoever.

6779003
Well its treating spending time with family as evil because your girlfriend is alone for the holidays. so you rather spend time with her then be with your family and that they are the bad guy for wanting you there. I meant pinkie's family as a whole btw I didn't mean just her. They are nice folks and applejack is being a rude bitch for wanting to spend her time elsewhere. So you just joined the contest for fun that's cool. I just dont like spending time with family instead of with your boy or girlfriend is used as a dilimma something thats conflicting. if anything applejack is being a selfish bitch as always the pies are good people she just an ungrateful bitch that rather eat out rainbow dash on hearthswarming then spend time with family. well thats her loss because family members like her are jerks anyway. i grew up around relatives like that who are willing to ditch you for their significant other for the holidays. I hate selfish characters like this I really do they act like their family is such a burden and that their family is getting in the way of their true wuv.

6779079 The conflict is a little more complex than Rainbow being sad because she's alone. It should be clear by the first chapter of this that I'm not trying to say spending time with your family is wrong.

6779117
I know theres more to it then her just being sad. I know your intentions are good but it just came off that way to me because I grew up with relatives just like AJ who rather ditch you to spend time with their girl/boyfriend for the holidays. Applejack is the selfish relative we all have and wonder why we bother keeping them around if they treat being with someone they are dating as more important than family. Here's how i see it Dash can get over it applejack needs to grow up and put her family first before Dash because her family isnt always going to be around and dash is well just someone she is dating so it doesn't matter as much dash will get over it and grow up to learn that the whole world doesn't revolve around her and her oh woe is me tude.

Comment posted by thecheshirecat1 deleted Dec 29th, 2015

6779164 The whole point of the story is that Applejack has put her family above Rainbow! That's the entire conflict! She is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you are describing!

You can't discern the entire story from the summary and then condemn a character for it! C'mon!

Ri2

I agree with Limestone. This is a stupid tradition.

Ri2

Then again, aren't they all? :P

Ri2

Is there something wrong with the cover image? There's a lot of squashed AJs.

6779228 A lot of squished AJs? There should just be one AJ and one Rainbow Dash.

6779272 ...What the CRAP? I don't see that at all. How does that even happen??

I guess I'll try reuploading it...

6778985 Nah, that's just in your head. I didn't see it like that even a little tiny bit.

What inspired this? I am just curious because i don't think anyone has done this romance plot. Its original and I like it that's what I am trying to say. Well I hope you win this contest you seemed to have enjoyed yourself when writing it. Happy holidays take care now.

6780293 Hmm... I guess I just tried to think of what aspect of Applejack would be most interesting to explore. Lots has already been explored in terms of her stubbornness and competitiveness, so I went for something else; her love for her family. Her family is the most important thing to her in the world, so what happens when she has to make a decision that will change it forever? Couple that with Rainbow's insecurities and you've got a potential conflict -- so that's what I wrote around.

Comment posted by SaintChoc deleted Jan 4th, 2016

Hmm. Odd start, but otherwise alright.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I really, really liked this. This stayed amongst my favorites in the contest for a long time, but was unfortunately eventually pushed out. However, if I had to give a personal honorable mention to a fic - this would be my choice. I loved the conflict here - inclusion and family.

Really well done. Hope to see some more appledash from you, sometime!

6913010 Ah, well. I knew it wasn't realistic for a guy who'd never actually done (SFW) fan fiction before to win against like fifteen other entries.

But it was a fun learning experience, and I'm glad you liked it!

6913029 Honestly, it's the other judges' fault! :rainbowlaugh: For me, you came closer than you might think you did. It really was close.

I believe the biggest criticism I heard from the others was that it felt too.. maudlin. "Feels like a funeral" was the term used at one point - I can see the point. You really wanted to sell the point of how AJ feels - and you do a fantastic job - but perhaps it was a little too much, for some.

NSFW entries were also allowed ;) I wouldn't mind seeing such a fic, outside of contests and whatnot. More quality appledash (and if this is any indication, you can write quality appledash) is always welcome.

6913039 Ironically, no one actually DID submit a mature fic, huh?

It's funny, I wasn't really interested until I read 'mature fics are allowed!' and I was like 'oh shit, that's what I'm doing anyway!' But... once I really started thinking about it, the story that came to mind was not a Mature one, and that was that.

When I thought about it, I really had no idea how to write something that has both a story AND Mature elements. Still don't, I guess. I'm writing something now that'll feature both a plot and 'plot' (no AppleDash -- FlutterDash) but it's still not really something with Mature stuff integral to the story as much as it is a story with mindless breaks for, uh, stuff. But, oh well. I'll be making an E-rated version anyway.

Hi there. I hope you don't mind, but I loved this fic so much, I have adapted it into an audio version over on YouTube:

7797474 That's awesome! I love how it's coming out! Hah, it's a great feeling listening to something I've written being read out so professionally!

Let me know if you ever need or want anything from me for this project!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

The opening scene of this chapter is one of the best Appledash-related things I have ever read. :3

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

After a moment, Twilight stepped off of her seat and walked over to Rainbow, gently rubbing her shoulder. "C'mon. I have something to show you."

"It's my butt! You don't need Applejack."

:V

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

And then they all got their cutie marks again. :V

This was really quite good. :D

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