• Member Since 21st Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 9th, 2019

Tamar


I live in the UK, and have been at university in Devon since September 2011. My home is near London, and I first started watching My Little Pony in February 2011.

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A tale of evil, deceit and betrayal.

Icarus, the mayor of Cloudsdale, threatens to shroud Equestria in a thick fog, so thick that it blots out the sun. What does this mean? Why is it so important to fill Equestria with fog? And what part does Rainbow Dash play in his plans?

These are the thoughts that are running through Twilight's mind after Rainbow leaves for Cloudsdale in search of answers. But in Cloudsdale, all is not as it seems - and when Rainbow returns, her friends are in for a nasty shock.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 38 )

654267 It was. Then, long story later, it wasn't, and now it's back here on FimFiction, but I decided not to resubmit to EQD. For a more in-depth explanation you're welcome to read the most recent blog post on my author page.

Well, there goes my entire day. I got this to read.

Still a great story.
Look forward to your original work this spawns as well.

(Next time leave the original up while you rewrite it. EqD lost a 6 star story that day.)

Oooh! The plot thickens! This is really good so far, keep it up!

Ooh, nice quick update. Random comment, but at one point Icarus said he wanted to master all the elements and I laughed because it reminded me of Avatar the Last Airbender. Anywho, awesome work! Now to read the next chapter...

Awesome story!
And Rainbow Dash in that picture sends shivers down my spine... props to the creator of that image.
And of course, props to YOU, Tamar!

727370 Well, I made the image, although the actual artwork for Dash comes from an artist who I don't know the name of, otherwise I'd credit him/her.
Glad you liked the story! :twilightsmile:

I like, where this is heading....

Am i the only one hoping the pegasi win? :scootangel::twilightsmile:

Beautiful

Sometimes, less means more. That words describes every aspect of this story. I can't believe i didn't read this sooner. I put it on my to read thing, and told myself i'd read it. I'm so glad i did!!!

Way too short, but nice...very nice!
I just hate that you ignored the romance almost totally :(

Where did that snake Pan go! :flutterrage:I demand to know where he is!! :twilightangry2:

This is a great story and I really enjoyed it. That said though it does need some work, mostly just indenting and putting spaces between paragraphs.

2064562 You know, it's the darndest thing. I uploaded this story some time ago, and now I come back and the formatting's all over the place. Same with all my other stories. It's really frustrating because I know that's a massive turnoff for readers. Do you know how to get it all nicely formatted again without going through the code and doing each frigging paragraph individually?

Comment posted by Subatomic Seal deleted May 1st, 2013
Comment posted by Subatomic Seal deleted May 1st, 2013
Comment posted by Subatomic Seal deleted May 1st, 2013
Comment posted by Subatomic Seal deleted May 1st, 2013

You see, Twilight is only mostly dead. :rainbowderp:There's a difference between mostly dead, and all dead.:rainbowhuh:

This is an excellent first chapter.

No! Oh no! Ok, this story is kust too amazing and suspense omigosh :raritycry::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

2708484
Hey! Are you gonna continue that sweetie belle story?

Oh, I like Princess bride too!

And Icarus gets my 400th fave . . . Uh, that's a good thing!

No but really. This fic might have been a bit short, but, it had me wanting to figure out what's coming next all along. WIthout much filler, the adventure/storyline moved on at a rapid pace. And it was enjoyable, because sometimes you don't feel like reading epics, and yet are shooting for some tension. This provided just that.

I'll say that the resolution was a bit too rushed though, as the detail was pretty well done both previous- and after the epicenter, but, when it all came around, it played out in no-time. Then again, I'm not sure what else there could be to flesh the scene out with, so, nevermind me, I think.

Have a like and fave, this was a good read!
:twilightsmile:
M

4532249 How long did you have your account before reaching 400 favorites?
I've had my account for about two months now and have favorited 684 stories, including this one.

General? Can I assume he's the descendant of General Thunder?

How lovely this story was. At first I didn't know what to believe, but as he started talking about taking over Equestria I'm like "yeah he's the bad guy." And thenI shouted, "i knew it!" When all was revealed and Celestia was never a bad ruler.

Twilight turned to Applejack. “Wel, what now?”

Was that supposed to be well with two l's?

“Greater love has no pony than this,” Celestia said quietly, “that she lay down her life for her friends."

Platonic love or romantic love? If it's platonic, then she must be really dedicated to her friends. I can relate.

This was so good, I just want a sequel. :rainbowkiss::heart::twilightsmile:

Had Rainbow done it? None of this made sense, and she didn’t want to allow herself to hope, in case that hope was dashed.

Ha. Ha. Very funny XD

Considering how old this fic is, it holds up pretty well, aside from some rather tiresome "pegasus master race" stuff and a generally fairly uninspiring epilogue. The romantic element to the plot is understated almost throughout, which I appreciate, although the fact that Twi and Dash apparently have feelings for each other from the start is... convenient. If you like fairly fast-paced, moderately involving adventure, you might give this a glance.

Cute Mark Crusader Lantern Pathfinders

Cute? Oh fine, thay are cute but what is Cute Mark Crusader?

Honestly, I was secretly hoping for more of the romance thing.:derpytongue2:

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