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Testing, Testing, 1, 2, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!

Rainbow Dash inadvertently stumbles into an unusual game of Hide-and-Seek

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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ferret

ferret #1 · Apr 10th, 2014 · · ·

> not a clopfic

Crystal Static

Crystal Static #2 · Apr 10th, 2014 · 2 · ·

I was almost expecting the 'And then they had sex' ending when I first read the title...

Antor

Antor #3 · Apr 10th, 2014 · · ·

this was nice, like a little short straight out of the show

Goldymarg

Goldymarg #4 · Apr 16th, 2014 · · ·

4th WTG entry I'm giving input on.
Hello, this is Goldymarg ~

I noticed there was a whole lot of telling and not a lot of showing, but I suppose we could chalk that up to there being a four day deadline. Either way, the 'show and not tell' rule should always be kept in mind when creating a narrative. I also noticed liberal amount of name-usage when referring to characters, which can get pretty stale if you're not careful.
As far as the premise goes...it's nothing special, but still entertaining in it's own right. I think Antor put it quite nicely