- Member Since 21st Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Dec 8th, 2021
Tamar
I live in the UK, and have been at university in Devon since September 2011. My home is near London, and I first started watching My Little Pony in February 2011.
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I wrote this a little while ago. I thought I may as well post it up here to see if people liked it; and if anything it helps stop up the gap while my bigger story goes through the review process. Hope people enjoyed it didn't expect too much!
How sweet. Faved and thumb up.
Very nice, great show of emotions as well.
It was so simple. So beautiful!
Take my thumb and my star!
Very sweet story, nice work.
Rarity is pleased at your offering.
Simple is good sometimes, if done well; this is one example of that. Good work
Sometimes the short fics hits the hardest, but im not really sure what to say here... more then that i really liked it!
well done i guess?
<3
Love these stories. Everything is simply yet beautifully explained. I like
I love the cover. so sweet!
This is how romance should be done. Thumbs up and fave^^
good story
they have the sessions just because they enjoy each others company, they don't even half to talk, i loved that
Cool story bro
-TwiDash story on front page-
"Please don't disappoint"
-reads-
"NOPE!"
Nice work, I love how it both opened and close with Celestia and Luna. I love sisterly chats between the pair of goddesses. Short, sweet, and a bit tender. You have my faves.
Simplicity at its finest. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Can you feel the love tonight?
I approve.
You know you've been reading too many trollfics when you expect the ending to segue into "BABY DON'T HURT ME. NO MORE."
Nice, beautiful story. Sorry if I ruined it for y'all.
I liked it. Short and sweet, which is a nice change of pace from epic 100k stories I've been reading. The only thing I can think to criticize is I just can't imagine Rainbow saying 'Mustn't'. It sounds too proper for her. Thats a pretty minor thing though, as everything else was quite good!
233897 I like your profile pic
A very caring and touching story.
First line... too easy... Baby don't hurt me! Don't hurt me! NO MORE!
Good story...
This was the first time reading a fic and ii have to say, I wouldnt have any other fic. This was really amazing. Simple yet powerful and meaningful.
234136 I sadly expected it at the start......... But then again, I'm crazier then most ponies. Having a lot of life wisdom in both light and dark can really make things seem a bit..... whats the word I'm looking for? Odd, no that's not it... Loopy? No, that is too light of a description... MUFFIN? Wait... what am I talking about again?
O well, I loved this story. Short and sweet.
Nice story really, but the prose feels awfully awkward at times with sentences that feel like they are missing words or repeat themselves.
You also completely missed Applejacks accent. Kind of a big point there :).
That's why I consider shipfics at least 20% cooler than clopfics. Really, describing sexual activity spoils the pure relationships those ponies can have.
A job well done here, Tamar. My thumb is yours.
This makes me happy...
Very nice written, i like it!
Very well done. I'm not terribly fond of RD/TS shipping, but I loved the writing style and even took a few notes to improve my own prose. The amount of substance you've packed between the lines is incredible.
235234 Wow, I'm delighted you found my writing so good!
Thanks everyone for the lovely comments. I didn't expect this to do every well, but each good comment just makes me smile, smile, smile
It's really cute and well-written :)
Grammar nazi time
You used the word "Girl" in your story instead if mare.
just pointing that out, good story
It has already been said but, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!
This was sweet. A good short story.
Very good.
Wonderful short story. Trying convey emotion in such a short story is quite a feat. WELL DONE SIR![img]1180_128[/img]
"She liked that she could daydream in purple..."
Congratulations, Tamar - you crafted a golden sentence.
In my own writings, I've always found there to be one moment during the writing stride in which a truly powerful statement is created. It becomes a joy to discover in the review and is incredibly pleasing for the reader to find during their first experience with the story. "Daydream in purple," ... simply fantastic.
I approve of this.
Also, take my highest form of compliment: I can learn from your writing.
Just make sure that the ponies don't get all your creative attention... The human world needs a writer like you.
Very Sweet.
235287
they refer to the characters as girls in the show a lot more than they do as mares. There's nothing wrong with it. In fact it's probably more accurate to say girl in that case. Girl applies to every female animal in the animal kingdom, not just humans.
Epic D'aw
Me after reading the first three words "Baby don't hurt me, no more"
235287
The word girl is used quite a few times in the actual show, so it wouldn't be a mistake to use it in a story.
It feels to good to read a sweet story with no conflict once in a while. It leaves happy thoughts for the rest of the day.
*sees one of my favorite TwiDash images*
:D time to read.
whyweprotest.net/asset-proxy/0f646dbd214789c9052e78d1174913bec000f2ed/687474703a2f2f693330342e70686f746f6275636b65742e636f6d2f616c62756d732f6e6e3137312f4e69636b506f74726f736b692f596f752f4252494c4c49414e542e6a7067/http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn171/NickPotroski/You/BRILLIANT.jpg
To me this story felt like a still life. Nice to look at, nothing more nothing less. There was no conflict, no suspense. I just skimmed through the second half to see if anything would come up, but didn't find anything.
235998
sometimes the simplest stories are the best.
Yeah, I'd love to read a long adventurous TwiDash story, but these one offs are always nice.
in the words of frank west. FANTASTIC!!
in the words of frank west. FANTASTIC!!
