A Bouquet of Rainbow Flowers
Ten, nine, eight…
You smooth back your hair with the palm of your hand, flattening a few finicky strands.
Seven, six, five…
You glance down and give yourself a once-over, admiring the trim-collared flannel tucked into a pair of slimming pants. Dressed in best clothes a human can get in a pony world, you look striking… and you know it.
Four, three, two…
Taking a whiff of the flowers clutched tightly in your other hand, you couldn’t help but heave a sigh of both nervousness and excitement. At the very least, the bouquet of roses created a rainbow of color in their petals.
One.
“Eight P.M.” you say with a glance at your wrist watch. After fiddling with your shirt for a moment, you raise your hand to the cloud door in front of you. Forcing back hesitation, you rap three times against it and decide not to bother questioning how a cloud could make a knocking sound.
In a few moments, you hear the sound of shuffling before the door flicks open, revealing… her. Her mane a swirl of color, shining with every color of the rainbow, the mare named Rainbow Dash stepped out into the light of the evening sun. The sunrays played upon her fur, casting a light, cyan sheen across her coat and sending a sparkle across her eyes. She may not have been “gussied up,” but her natural beauty beat out anything make up and lipstick could do for her.
God, she’s beautiful… you think.
As soon as Rainbow looks up to your taller form, her eyes widen to saucers. “Whoa, hey. Didn’t expect to you see up here.”
You let out a chuckle, gesturing around to the cloud house. “Yeah, Twilight helped out a bit. No way I could’ve gotten here on my own.”
“I figured as much,” she says. Her eyes give you a glance-over but freeze at the sight of the bouquet. For a moment, a hint of something you couldn’t make out appears, but it fades away just as quick. With a grin playing on her lips, Rainbow moves aside. “Good to see you. Wanna come inside?”
“Sure.”
As you step in, you pause for a moment. It looks even better on the inside, you think, admiring the living space. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I was at Rarity’s. You take a seat on the cloud couch as Rainbow shuts the door behind her. Turning toward you, she springs onto the nearby arm chair with a flap of her wings.
“What brings you by?” she asks.
Quite aware that the flowers are still clutched in your hand, you reply, “Nothing much. Just thought I’d see how the ‘best flier in Equestria’ is doing.”
“Ha! Well, I think Equestria’s best flier is doing quite fine, thank you,” she says, mocking a noble accent. “So how are you doing? Still settling into Ponyville?”
“More or less,” you say, waving your hand. “I think everything’s gotten pretty normal by now. At least, as normal as a hairless monkey can be in a world like this.” She lets out a few chuckles, making you have to hold back the urge to sigh. She’s so cute when she laughs… you think.
The two of you make small talk for a few minutes, discussing nothing in particular, just anything that came to mind. For whatever reason, the Wonderbolts seemed to come up a lot.
As Rainbow laughs off another story, she straightens up in her chair. Although she still smiles, you could sense a level of seriousness in her demeanor. Suddenly aware of just how much your heart is beating in your chest, you mirror her actions.
“So…” she begins.
Oh boy, you think, but you try to cast away your anxiety. I’ve come too far to give up now… Ugh, why does dating have to be so nerve-wracking? Steeling your resolve, you reply, “Yeah? Something up?”
She doesn’t respond right away, only staring without a word for a few long seconds. She shrugs. “I dunno. Just wondering what brought you by.”
Because I wanna be with you! “Because I just wanted to see you. Like I said earlier.”
“Yeah, but…” Her eyes shift toward the flowers in your hand. In your conversation, you’d completely forgotten you had them! Holding back a cringe, you hold them up for her to see. “Oh, these?” you say, trying and failing to sound casual. “They’re just… uh…”
Rainbow’s lips scrunch up and her brow furrows, putting her skepticism on full display. “Uh-huh… Why are you here again?”
Your break eye contact, throwing your gaze elsewhere. This is it… you think. Steeling your resolve with fantasies of what you two could be—beautiful, happy, and carefree lovers—you face her again. “Rainbow…” you begin. “I’ve had some… thoughts recently.”
“Thoughts?”
This time, you can’t hold back the cringe. Awful, you think. Just awful. Should’ve planned even more. Nonetheless, you push on, knowing you’re far beyond the point of no return. “Yes. You see… I-I’ve kinda…”
Rainbow cocked her head, a frown on her lips, and eyes making passes to the rainbow of flowers. “Kinda… what?”
“I think I…” You sigh. Aw, screw it. She likes the direct approach anyway. With a sharp inhale, you shove the bouquet in her direction. “These are for you!” you blurt out. It only takes a second for you to berate yourself, knowing how goddamned awful you must look.
Having leaned away from your sudden outburst, Rainbow blinked a few times as she regained her senses. “These… for me?” Her mouth hangs open for a few seconds before she speaks again. “I, um… huh?”
Not sure whether to take her shocked reaction as a good sign or bad sign, you nod your head. Through gritted teeth, you manage to say, “For you. Rainbow, you’re a… a kind and… beautiful mare.” Why?! you want to scream. Why does this have to be so hard?! I look like a fool! …in front of her.
Her eyes shift from the flowers to your own, the dumbfounded expression still plastered on her face. Her mouth flounders for a second, trying to find words that aren’t there.
Unable to bear the awkward, foolish, stupid, failing, pointless, needless—
You sigh, trying to calm the torrent of emotion flooding your head.
Unable to bear the moment any longer, you channel all your attention to the task at hand. With a fire in your eyes, you set your sights on the prize. Your dear, your darling, your lover. You shove off from the couch and plant yourself in front of the pegasus, kneeling before her. Since she sits on her armchair, your eyes meet at equal level.
Taking a final glance at vividly colorful bouquet of flowers, you set it down at her hooves with a shaky hand. “Rainbow…?” you say.
She doesn’t reply, only staring, never blinking.
“I-I’ve been thinking of you so much…” you say, no longer caring how weak you may sound. You needed to say this. “You’re all I can think about. I love the color of your mane, a-and I love the way sunlight plays upon your fur. You’re brash—in a good way!—yet you have such a soft, kind smile.”
You reach for her hoof and take it in your hand, encountering limp resistance. You gaze into the shiny cerise of her eyes as if trying to convey your emotion through a longing stare. “When I look in your eyes… you take me to another world…
“Rainbow Dash… I love you. I love you so much.”
As the light echo of your words faded away, leaving the loudest silence you’d ever heard in its place. The two of you remained wordless for the moment, her blank faced and staring, and you kneeling and hopeful.
Finally, she spoke up. “I… I… You really mean all that? You love me?”
Hearing her say it sends a wave of self-consciousness through you, causing you to shrink back. “Uh, yes… I do.” At seeing Rainbow’s quiet, unreadable reaction, you take the initiative. Please… you plead inwardly. Bringing her hoof closer, you close your eyes as you lean forward. Even though you couldn’t see her, the tiny gasp Rainbow made gave you an idea of her reaction. Although the movement only takes a second, it drags into eternity as you wait for her to return the kiss, hoping she would return it.
For a moment, you feel her push both her hooves against your chest, and it sends a rush of excitement down your spine. Could she actually be leaning to me? The thought thrills you.
Then her hooves suddenly push you away, causing your eyes to fly open. As you regain your senses, you freeze at the sight of Rainbow’s face. She… she looks terrified. you think.
“I can’t,” she says, her voice high and rushed. “I just can’t.”
Feeling a creeping darkness rising in your gut, you can only stare. “What do you mean? You don’t have to be scared?”
She shakes her head. “I’m not scared, just… stressed. Ugh, why did you have to do this?” she says aloud, not speaking to you but to no one in particular. “Okay, okay, so you love me.”
“…” You remain silent, having no idea how to respond.
“So… thanks?” She facehooves. “No, no! Forget I said that. Ugh, how do I say this?”
Oh no…
With a sigh, she returns to your gaze, displaying nothing but sympathy and guilt. “I… can’t say I feel the same way… Sorry…”
Her words smash into you like a freight train, forcing you into realization. She’s saying no, you gasp. She’s turning me down! “Wait, wait!” you say, not caring about the panic in your voice. “Is something wrong? What’s holding you back?”
“No, it’s just… I can’t. How could I?” she says, shrugging helplessly.
“How could you?” you repeat under your breath. “What do you mean?”
Rainbow purses her lips as she appears to search for the best way to word her thoughts. “Don’t get me wrong. You’re a great guy, really! I might’ve given this a shot if it wasn’t for…”
“For what?” you plead. “Tell me, and I’ll fix it.”
“You can’t fix it…” she mutters, glancing away. “Just, just look at yourself. Then look at me. We don’t even walk on the same number of legs.”
Then it dawns on you. “It’s because I’m human.”
She nods, slow in her movements. Although she got her message across, you see it doesn’t make her any happier. “You know I’ve got nothing against humans, but I just don’t find your kind… attractive.”
“B-but,” you stutter, “Ponies date other species all the time. Like griffons. They’re like five species in one.”
“Yeah, but they’re similar to us. Humans are like… trying to find a monkey attractive.”
You let out a sound akin to a sigh mixed with defeat. Pushing yourself to your feet, you turn away. “…I get it. I should’ve figured. This would be weird. I mean, really? A pony and a human?” A few dry chuckles escape your throat. “I came from a world where equines are barn animals. I’m just weird… Sorry for wasting your time.” Taking a moment to readjust your flannel one last time, you set a pace for the door.
You hear Rainbow gasp. Springing to the floor, she pounces in front of you and cutting off your leaving. “Wait! Wait! Where are you going? Don’t think like that! I mean, um, who wouldn’t find me attractive?”
For some reason, her attempt at humor falls on deaf ears. Any other day, you would’ve laughed.
“Okay, forget I said that,” she says, shaking her head. “Listen to me. You’re an awesome guy, and I’m not just saying that. Just because it won’t work out between us doesn’t mean you should put yourself down.”
“…When you say it won’t work out between us,” you start, “do you mean it won’t ever work out between us?”
She swallows. “Well, I’m just… not into that kind of thing.”
You grimace at the words, thinking, She makes it sound like some kind of fetish… She may as well have said, ‘I will never love you.’
Not bothering to look back, you step around Rainbow. “I’m going to go now. Twilight’s been waiting for me to signal to her what to do, and I think she’s been waiting long enough. Thanks for your time, Rainbow.” Tossing open the cloud door, you trudge outside and head for the edge of the cloud the entire house rested on.
“I’m sorry!”
You can tell she’s not following based on how loudly she yelled. A swirl of emotions plow through your head, anger, misery, and depression just a few to name. Even so, you steel yourself a final time and cast a stare over your shoulder.
She’s so beautiful is the first thing that comes to mind as you see her standing in the doorway, evening sunlight dancing across her just like when she first appeared. Your mouth opens and closes a few times, trying to latch onto words to say. Part of you wants to return and beg for another hopeless chance, and another part wants to tell her to go screw herself, but above all, you just want to leave.
“See you later, Rainbow,” you say. Then you turn away and walk, approaching the cloud’s edge. You’re vaguely aware that you left the flowers in her house, but you couldn’t care less by that point. Let her have them…
I picked them out just for her anyway.
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Ah, nope.
6275325 NO YOU STOLE MY FFFIIIRRRSSSTTT
~T.CC
I like this. A simple one-shot, yet touches an issue that a lot of HiE stories sidestep -- that there's a good chance a pony simply would not find you attractive. A follow up to this would be nice.
6275400 This guy.
Now that's what I call getting rejected like a boss
6275400
I think a good many of them premise themselves on picking a pony who just happens to be inclined toward the human, even if they don't yet know it. But you're right, not many HiE's bring in to a primary role ponies who are visibly (in terms of the story) not attracted to said human. I'm sure most aren't actually, but the issue just never becomes a plot point.
Great story. It was very refreshing not to read the inevitable conclusion to that usually comes from a human randomly confessing his love for a pony.
(How do these humans appear in equeastria anyway. Perhaps they're just based on bronies who've taken to much drugs while watching mlp.)
You just need to have wings. If you really want the Dash, you need to sacrifice your hands for wings and hooves. Twilight helped you to an extent already. PLUS if you took that step, Dash would feel horrible rejecting you again. You get one automatic pass, and a shot even if she was just being polite with her reason for rejecting you.
This reminds me of the Fluttershy fic that was similar... The human chickened out just because snakes were sharing the bed because they wanted body warmth. Sorry, but if you want Shy, you have to put up with that kind of thing.
Hilarious alternate ending:
"It's because I'm a human?"
"It's because I'm gay."
6275400 Because most creatures are inherently, instinctively prejudiced. One must learn to put aside that sort of thing. I for one would likely be heart broken... and possibly kill a LOT of ponies.
However, I do suffer from psychotic depression so any thing that causes emotional pain or sadness usually hits me like a fucking truck and I do NOT know how to cope with rejection properly. And that's just with human women. On a planet of alien horses where not a single mare would want me just because i'm not a pony, i'd be fucked, they'd be fucked, everybody would be fucked and I'd likely have to be put out of my misery by the guard or the princesses themselves unless I kill myself after I inevitably come down from my anger and realize all the terrible shit I did. *sigh* Oh well. No point in moping.
Will there be a follow-up or is this it?
See, MC dude, this is why you have to see if the other shows interest before you pop the question. Otherwise, bridges get singed, even if they don't burn altogether.
It's nice to see a rejection once in a while. Those things happen.
6276049 Wow, just wow bro
I really liked this story! It showed how a human in equestria probably would struggle with finding love because let's be honest, what equestrian species would be attracted to a monkey? Plus isn't the whole different species in relationship thing a fannon idea and not cannon? I've never seen different species in a relationship in the show. They can be friends but that's it. It was nice seeing the human fail for once, c'est la vie!
Are you going to continue this? I hope so. It has a great premise and I have had a similar idea like this in my head for quite some time now. I really enjoyed this short tear jerker.
Wow, I honestly wasn't expecting this to be as good as it was. It's basically unheard of in these kind of HiE fics for ponies to reject the human; usually the human has to reject them because they all find him insanely attractive or something, and/or he can only pick one. To see that turned on its face in a more realistic depiction of rejection, which is simply a very real part of dating, is thrilling to read.
I don't really know why this story has 9 dislikes. It's probably because some people didn't like their pony waifu rejecting them or they didn't like the premise rather than any issue with your writing quality. The only problem is that there isn't more of it! Seriously, you could make this into a longer fic. Lots of potential here and I definitely want to see what happens next.
6277339 there are NINE. Compared to FIFTY EIGHT upvotes. Your complaint is unnecessary.
6277339 Yeah, I mean if a Story has Romance and Sad Tags, one can be pretty sure it aint a happy story.
I'm surprised how much I want to see some kind of continuation or sequel to this. I want to see what happens next. How does the character fell the next morning, what about twilight? How about RD?
Its a rare sight to see a decent rejection fic.
Denied.
Well, at least she gave an explanation that is valid, not a half-assed excuse.
Neat.
6277542 This is too true.
Whenever I find someone with over 30 stories, been around since 2012 and has over 500 subscribers, my thought process literally goes like this:
Crap, go to previous page, just smile and walk away. Don't look the gods in the eye. Don't like them or follow without a good reason (because their popular isn't a good reason) just back, the heck, off.
Don't down-vote, don't complain...just run!
More maybe?
Go for Twilight, dude. She has a thing for humans
As others have already mentioned it's quite refreshing to see a fic where the confession is answered by rejection. Waaaaaaay too many romance fics, that include humans, feel like everything is up to the guy (are there any fics where we have a girl in Equestria?). He gets to decide whether or not to return the feelings (he always does). He is confessed to by the pony who suddenly, for no apparent reason finds herself head over hooves in love with the human.
Sometimes it feels like the pony waifu has absolutely no say in the matter. As if she has no standards herself and cannot make a decision. Or rather, her decision is something the guy never has to worry about.
Either way, loved the fic and the nice twist you put on the slightly overused story type.
6279814 I would love to see a sequel to this where twilight and him work out she is his friend already (twilight I need advice about approaching a mare for a relationship ) and I get the feeling he just friend zoned her in this
6280284 Thanks for reading!
)
And there are girl in equestria fics! Funny you should say that 'cause there's a whole group dedicated to them called FiE. And I might've written one myself. (Shameless self promotion
tfw rekt
6280998 I totally forget that...
should at least try.
Fuck.........your commentation.
And you doubted yourself.
Now this is a good story. Inversions of standard tropes/cliches need to be done, to liven things up, and bring about something fresh. And stories like this one in particular seriously need to be brought up. The whole interspecies thing needs to be brought up realistically.
6281487 Oh boy, I love you for this reference.
Perfect.
What sweet sorrow there is in being denied one's hope~
Nice little story. There's promise here of a possible larger story that can be written to lead up to and even after this scene which could be putting the reader inside the human. Still it's a good effort.
6281545 Second cutest moment of MLP FIM.
The first being:
6277214
6280284
I know, right? I've never been a fan of HiE romance for the fact that I can never see a believable reason why the mares are so taken with these guys. Read them, and they're all just generic guys who were nobodies in our world, mail sorters, patty flippers, college students, and yet, they're apparently better than any stallion could ever be.
Then you add in that it's usually a member of the Mane6 or royalty, and it makes even less sense. It's like, the former are national heroes, and the latter are princesses, two of which are immortal. You really think a McDonalds worker would seem all that appealing to them? And it's always just being a decent guy that apparently makes them so attractive. "Oh Anon, you're so kind! You don't randomly lash out and actually listen too me! That's something I've never been able to find in a pony before now!"
Really? If Pinkie didn't fall in love with Cheese, who's practically her soulmate, I doubt she'd fall in love with the guy who sweeps the floors at Sugar Cube Corner.
I'm okay with humans being with ponies, but I'd rather the human actually be deserving of the affection and for the ships to actually have some backup, like a brainy, scientific type ending up with Twilight, a hard working farm boy with Applejack, a vet with Fluttershy, or a fashion designer with Rarity. You know, shared interests and hobbies, which are pretty important to successful relationships.
Not Anon with no defining characteristics besides being strangely sexy to the quadrupedal horse creatures. The fact that many of these blatant and perverted pieces of wish fulfillment can get so popular is baffling.
Phew... Just had to get that off my chest... Good story.
6280681
lol that loserfuck got 360 noskopt
So i don't do second person fics...
I really don't like them...
Because of that, i read this as the story you warned against and now i feel there should be another chapter to close the story...
This..was actually fairly interesting to me.
Unlike many, I enjoy a good HiE fic, as it can open up to so many opportunities. From a random guy to people like Achievement Hunter, Markiplier, etc., it opens up the ponies to new situations, dealing with another species of similar traits to them, on regard to their humanoid nature.
In regards to this, it follows the reader, me in this case, going after and Equine Mate. What caught my eye first was the title, "I Will Never Love You", seeing as that has always applied to me, no female daring try, for fear of being with an idiot such as myself.
Because of my past experience, I decided that this was perhaps a reason this story popped up. I start to read it, and the bouquet of flowers actually represented me and my rose, that I brought to ask a girl I liked to go to the Military Ball. All dressed up, and ready to go, I start to talk to her(no small talk though), and start getting nervous, as usual. I offer the rose and ask her, trying to keep it formal, and gets turned down.
I would like to see a second chapter, to see if it would apply with the after events of me. After she denied me, my mind made a turn to the worst, and I tarnished my reputation severely by trying to ask many girls to it, them all saying no.
More on the original point though, I actually lost my connection to it slightly, after the comparison to finding a monkey attractive. However, thinking about it, that could easily be a connection to me, nobody finding me, the moron, attractive, looks nor personality-wise, which would make some sense out of being turned down like I was.
To summarize, I felt a deep connection with this story, which has made me think. Whether or not it was positive or not for me, there was a reason this was featured on Ponu for me to see, I'm fairly certain of it. Thank you for the amazing story, and I hope to see more from you!
Sincerely,
Jcfraven
And for once, the real side of "love" in an HiE fic!
Shoot, some of us have never even been on a date with or kissed a g-g-g-g-g-GIRL!!! What chance would we have with such perfect creatures of fantasy?
But then...isn't that what fantasy is for?
I feel like you should've added the tag Tragedy because no matter how this story was written, it ends badly for the main character and rejection is one of those bad endings. But I think I it's okay to leave it out mostly because the title and the description pretty much describes how this story is going to go and it's not a bait-and-switch either. I think I only read two stories that actually had the main character be rejected and then try to find someone else, but I think they start with him being rejected at the start of the story rather than have it happen like you wrote it. Well, at least this guy will know Spike's pain if he's been rejected by Rarity for the same reasons.
WI awesome! You did a very good job here I don't know how you managed to do it but when I read this I was emotional.
I really want to see this continued. Even if it's finished, I'd like to see either a sequel or more chapters for it. :D
this definitely needs a sequel.
MAKE. A. SEQUEL. D:
6284138
Uh, sorry to drag up an old comment, but what does HiE stand for? It's not Google-able.
6590618 Human in Equestria.
This story makes me sad.
is there a chance will get a sequel to this story
6782510 Probably not. It's not meant to be a narrative.