“So, what's the deal, CC?”
Cold Canter's voice dully replied through the resonating sound stone. “I am afraid you have me at a disadvantage.”
“Horses for courses,” Rainbow Dash droned as she glided gently eastward along the wind-swept desert plateau. “Why didn't you warn me about the sand storms.”
“I wasn't aware that you would encounter any along that stretch of landscape.”
“You mean to tell me that you're a veteran guard stallion pushing sixty and you've never encountered a sand storm in all your years of minding your post out in the desert?”
“Darkstine has weather spheres.”
“Am I supposed to know what those are?”
“They're magically imbued devices that patrol the borders of our landscape and keep inclement weather in check. I do so believe that they cover clouds of sediment blown along westerly winds.”
“Wow. Your society would really kick the bucket if everything got unplugged, wouldn't it?”
“It begs the question, filly,” his voice rang out as she flew under the glaring sunlight. “Did you encounter such a detrimental phenomenon?”
“Ohhhh...” She shrugged in mid-air, still trying to feel her limbs from all the pelting they had received overnight. “It was a tad bit annoying. Not something I'd like to run into everyday.”
“It's nice to know that you are safe, at least.”
“Jee, thanks,” she mumbled. “I'll be happy to be out of a place that has so much of this stuff.”
“What stuff?”
“Sand, what else?” Her jaw clenched. “Unnngh... The stupid crap gets into everything. I've never felt so in touch with my femininity in all my life.”
“That's a remarkable tidbit of information.”
“You're cute when you try to be sarcastic.” Her lips curved as her goggles glinted against the sky. “So, C-Squared... I can call you C-Squared, right?”
“I prefer that you wouldn't.”
“So tell me, C-Squared, have you ever been on any vacations in your life?”
“I would much rather spend our magically transmitted conversation discussing your exploration.”
“I'm over a desert,” Rainbow Dash grunted. “It's flat.” She cleared her throat and continued, “Haven't you ever thought of going on a cruise somewhere? Maybe tour a bunch of desert islands and drink out of coconuts?”
“I would rather be caught dead.”
“Awwwww...” Rainbow Dash pouted with a playful grin. “No cruises whatsoever? What's the matter, C-Squared, you got a problem with ships?”
“I have a problem with doing anything that would detract from my faithful task as sentry of Darkstine's borders.”
“Yeah, well, no offense, old guy,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “But I don't think we're talking about a case of equivalent exchange.”
“How do you mean?”
“Does Darkstine really—and I mean really give back to you exactly that which you give to it?”
“I don't see how that would matter. As a citizen, it is my task to serve my kingdom—”
“Yeah! But even where I'm from, the guards who served the princess at least had time off, not to mention hazard benefits and good pay and—”
“I am not like most guards.”
“Well, no frickin' duh. You've been at that post for how long?”
“I really do not see how this conversation is relevant to anything.”
“I just wanna get to know you better, guy!” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. She spun around just for the heck of it and glided upside down for a spell. “There's gotta be more to ya than tall, dark, and wrinkly!”
“And certainly you have a convoluted past that you are absolutely dying to convey to me.”
“Hmph...” Her nostrils flared. “Touche.”
“To be an explorer, you don't have to be a winged pony, traveling everywhere at the speed of sound. Sometimes the best discoveries are made by staying perfectly in place.”
“I'm sure there was something really snazzy and poignant about what you just said,” Rainbow Dash mused. “Unfortunately, even as far up I can fly, there are still things that go over my head.”
“I'm here on the edge of civilization to do more than just my job. I find a great deal of introspection and meditation to be had here.”
“So are you some sort of philosopher pony or something?”
“Aren't we all?”
“Well, to each their own, C-Squared,” she murmured. “My philosophy is that if you can't eat it, drink it, outrace it, or blow it up, then it's not worth one's time.”
“I don't suppose you have any philosophies for staying perfectly still?”
“Uhhhhh... Nope. Can't say that I do.”
“Surely there will come a day when you must slow down and reexamine your life.”
“Too busy living it.”
“That's a simple excuse.”
“Anything more complex would just be lame.” Her teeth showed as she grinned and flew right-side-up again. “No offense to you or any other thinking-ponies, but if you spend all of your life playing the guessing game, then by the time death comes you'll realize that could have been answering your own questions the whole time.”
“In what manner?”
“Any manner! Any manner that involves moving your limbs and seeing what happens when you run into stuff.”
“Sounds foolhardy.”
“Better than wisesofty!”
“The degree to which you make up words is astounding and foolish all at once.”
“Love you too.” Rainbow Dash hummed to herself and eventually asked, “So, I'm guessing that all that philosophizing didn't really add up to much in the Hearts and Hooves department.”
“I beg your pardon?” Cold Canter's voice replied.
“Why else wouldn't you want to go on a cruise?” she remarked. “You don't have a fillyfriend to share sun-tanning with!”
“Now you're treading into completely unreasonable territories.”
“I haven't heard you 'hang up' yet!” She grinned. “You're telling me there's not a lucky, beautiful, curvaceous mare out there who enjoys being swept off her hooves? A C-Circle, if you feel me?”
“I have lived out the extent of my days, and not all of them alone.”
“Oh really?” Rainbow Dash sighed briefly. “Well, I guess it's a shame you never had kids to share all your stories with.”
“I am a father, actually.”
Her eyes brightened. “You don't say? Hah! Way to go, Cold Canter! What, a kid? Two kids? A son and a daughter?”
“Five, actually.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “Oh.” She blinked again. “Five what? Sons or daughters?”
“I meant five of each.”
She nearly fell out of the sky. “Whew!” She whistled. “I'm guessing your 'Canter' wasn't exactly 'Cold' all your life! Heh. Wow, guy. I... I didn't realize that! You must be really proud!”
“They are good, healthy, law-abiding Darkstinians, proficient at industry.”
“So... you're proud of them, right?”
“I wish I could say the feeling was mutual.”
“Oh...” She gulped. “Uhm...”
“It would not behoove you to listen any further about my progeny, nor any of my relations.”
“No, really...” She smiled. “Come on, C-Squared. Dish it out. I'm all ears.”
“This was not the purpose of the sound stones. You have a journey to complete.”
“I have all the time in the world,” she said, coasting towards the horizon with a contented breath. “Seriously, guy. Tell me about your family.”
“It... It would hardly be an uplifting tale.”
“Try me.”
Never did I ever expect to see Rainbow Dash use the word "poignant". Heh.
I probably laughed at that far more than I should have.
New Objective Added: Listen to Cold Canter's depressing tale.
Pinkie Pie see's what you did there.
1295373
WE SHALL START A CONSORTIUM!
And we shall call it: the "Artists Union of Spectral Triumph Regarding All Entertainment Of Humans".
Or "A.U.S.T.R.A.E.O.H." for short.
(...I think I tried too hard...)
I'm gonna jump on the RPG band wagon and say that dash has at least 90 points on her speech skill by now
1297561
Multilayer jokes are best jokes.
I'm really excited to see how the rest of this plays out, C^2 will fall out of range sooner or later and I'm curious how Dash will end up dealing with that. Can't suppress emotion forever (a lesson that it seems she's about to teach C^2 and might just have to learn herself in the process)!
Title Obtained: "The Crass"
Also "I can call you C-Squared" I smell another reference!
-Minty
Dat chapter title...
I have the silliest grin on my face right now. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png
Yes I have, thanks for asking.
Nope.
Oh, I'll dish it out alright!
1297626
I will never fall out of range! Never!
1297849
this wouldn't happen to be referencing Reamde, would it?
1297906
1297911 Shh! i know i failed, no need to let anyone else know too!
1297922
EVERYONE MUST KNOW! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png
Wooties. Seriously, wooties.
I LOVE how you build this world outside of Equestria, it's so incredibly detailed.
1297929
[link]
1297951
Trophy Get: I Get The Refrence- Make a random refrence that need not be. Or get into a drunken fight with an evil!Rainbow Dash.
I would really like to see Dash enter a society that is all based around the use of airships where she could befriend a pilot before she moves on. She's met lots of ground dwelling ponies, so I think it'd be a breath of fresh air for her to see others in the sky as well, even if they aren't pegasai themselves.
Other than that: Inventory Check Time.
1 blanket (partially ripped)
1 pendent
Dwindling supply of food
1 partially full canteen of water
1 medallion
1 hatchet
1 stone for communication
1 green book
1 pair of flyers goggles
1 saddlebag
Inventory Check Complete
sounds like a Stephen Colbert reference to me.
1297922>>1297911
I know......
-Minty
1298332
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png
1298278
I C what you did there.
1297883
Of course, our love is too strong (..wut?)
1298216
As an actual pilot, that would be pretty neat. Air forces are essentially sky navies and navies have lots of fun structure to play with in an RPG setting (and steampunk!). That said, I feel Dash would need to go pretty far since none in her recent travels even seem to know what a Pegasus is beyond a fable.
1298450
OUR LOVE WILL LAST FOREVER! NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US NOW!
(...What?)
1298465
(I don't know, here, have a grilled cheese)
istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/414752/2/istockphoto_414752_grilled_cheese.jpg
1297589
Way too hard.
Seriously, though, this is a Celestia-tier injustice going on up in here. We need some fan art, stat.
WANT PRETTY PICTURES
1298489
Griiiiiiiiiiiled cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese!
-Minty
1298489
I like grilled cheese! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png
So I think Background Pony chapter 15 just made a jab at you:
"And now what? You just want a slice of the popularity pie! I mean, hey, kudos on subtlety! At least you're not making us go on some global quest to a 'Nocturnal Locker' on the opposite side of the world or some other epically unrealistic crud!"
1298450
True. Maybe they could be linked in some way to the burned out city that the stallion was from. Perhaps they got into a war and the airships provided a significant advantage over the enemy.
1298623
1298702
I dig it. Airships, catwalks, hanging ropes, steam engines, all of it, aeronautics, brash pilots, in, all of it.
1297951
i1208.photobucket.com/albums/cc371/sciberdude/fa14e60c81a518a8a523b8f40756cab7_zps046ae64c.jpg
1298623
Oh lawds. I didn't notice that. Amazing!
Also: Yay, long and boring personal story time!
1300021
Haha, oops. I shoulda known really.
My bad
1298735
...are you face hoofing for the same reason I'm face hoofing?
1301115
I think so Brain, but where are we going to get 1,000 pounds of cheese at this hour?
Hehe, IC (intentionally or not) countered the point that I brought up... touche
took me 3 days to catch up from chapter uno..on my friggin ipod..just wanna say..cool story bro no i mean it, its really good
1301165
actually, I was thinking about calling IC, but I like your idea better
Just read all of this in one go.
All one-hundred and sixty chapters.
You have me hooked.
I-I've done it. I'VE CAUGHT UP!!!
Oh god I laughed so hard my sides nearly ripped apart. Probably laughed more than I should have
:1298489 oh god you started Minty's grilled cheese addiction he's just got out of rehab man
No really, that was hilarious. Also, holy crap, dude's got a lot of kids. And story time? Story time! Onward!
1302698
I'm doing the same right now, with only 14 chapters to go! Huzzah!
Curvaçious
Just opened "The Wall", gonna get this shit done!
IIIIIt's Dashie's Ultimate Marathon Evaluation Time!!!!!
So we get some pretty funny conversation between Dash and Cold Canter here, which I thought was hilarious. Also, Imploding has really begun referencing his readers as of late perhaps I'll show up soon...but anyways, it looks like we'll get some backstory on Cold Canter in the next chapter, which may be interesting. These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
P.S. Oh, God.
Why am I doing this?
There's no way.
I've done many things, sure, but this...
I can't...
But I'm going for it anyways.
I'm finishing it.
I'm finishing Austraeoh.
Tonight.
Stay tuned for the epicness.
P.S.S. There's NO way...
1674842 Good luck, I just hope I can catch up to you later, on the sequel.
1680824
I keep reading these comments about catching up it Dashie, and all of them are posted over 20 weeks ago. I get the feeling that the only way I'm going to catch up to anyone is to get to the ongoing part of the story, and that's going to take weeks at least. Well, better get back to it.
“Sand, what else?” Her jaw clenched. “Unnngh... The stupid crap gets into everything. I've never felt so in touch with my femininity in all my life.”
TMI Dashie!
And CSQUARED HATES SHIPS!