“It's not the Grand Choke,” Cold Canter muttered as he telekinetically poured a glass of water for Rainbow Dash. “Who in the hay told you that?”
“Oh, well, uhm...” Rainbow Dash shifted nervously from where she sat at a dusty wooden table in the center of the guards' tiny bunkhouse. “I just kind of figured...”
“I've heard tales of the Grand Choke, but that's leagues away,” the elder stallion said, walking back to the pantry. “The continent stretches for thousands of miles east. That's what travellers tel me, anyways.”
“You get a lot of ponies passing by this... this...?”
“We are essentially in charge of a guard outpost, meant to send a magical signal across the latiduninal leylines in the event of an unforeseen incursion,” Cold Canter said. He shuffled over and sat across from her with a weary exhale. “There are many outposts like this one north and south of here, but they tend to get travellers more than we do. With the ravine most dry and arid in this location, I'm afraid the answer is no: not many ponies stop by this place.”
“Well, you certainly know how to make a pegasus feel welcome.” She said with a smile as she took the glass in her hoof and sipped its contents. As she did so, Desert Light strolled by and unceremoniously slapped a plate full of lettuce leaves onto her edge of the table. She finished gulping the water and gave him a droning, “Jee, thanks.”
“Insincere response: you are most welcome,” he grunted and marched towards the far end of the shack.
“Don't mind him,” Cold Canter murmured. “He's the latest in the line of young, novice guardponies sent to fulfill their quota here on the eastern border.” He sighed and leaned forward against the table. “He's been here only four months. He's headstrong, but learning. Being out here so far from the heart of Darkstine does wonders to the ego.” He smiled wearily. “Have you seen the capital of New Ring? It's quite the mechanical wonder.”
“I... m-may have flown past it along the way here,” she said with a nervous voice crack. She munched on a leaf, swallowed it, and smiled. “So, like, what keeps you staying in a lonely place like this while so many recruits come and go?”
“Mmmf... You live as long as I have, you start to look inward for answers,” he said. “I never quite had a grasp of the industry like so many of my fellow unicorns. Thankfully, the government is understanding of my 'heretical deviance,' and they haven't tried to recondition me. To be perfectly honest, life would be a lot harder for me if I moved back west. I like it out here. It's peaceful... it's calm...”
Rainbow Dash munched on another leaf and smirked. “You don't get many foals on your lawn...”
“But when I do, it means that the visitors must be those invested with a great deal of remarkble gifts and stories to tell of their travels.” He rested his hooves together and stared at her intently. “Tell me. Is that necklace that you wear something of royal design?”
“Eh... well, uhm...” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “It may be kind of sort of built out of the harmonious essence of cosmically displaced goddesses from a realm far gone.”
Cold Canter stared dazedly at her.
“But!” She smiled nerviously and rubbed a hoof over the ruby lightning bolt. “It can do this!” A crimson glow shimmered across the room. “And it can do this!” She grabbed a rusted spear from the nearby wall, took a deep breath, and smacked herself in the head with it. A metallic ringing noise filled the air, followed by an aura of white light enshrouding her like a translucent cocoon. “Ta-daaaa!”
“Impressive,” Cold Canter remarked with a dry chuckle. “Maybe you could consider minding an outpost such as this with those kinds of talents!”
“Disgruntled interjection: she lacks the horn of industry.”
“Yes, but she has the wings of shut your muzzle!” Cold Canter growled.
“Heh heh heh!” Rainbow Dash almost choked on a length of lettuce. “I like you, dude. You're like if somepony crossed Clint Eastwhinny with my uncle.”
“The day I become a pegasus' uncle is when I know I've put off drinking for too long.” Cold Canter stood up and trotted across the shack. “Why, I haven't seen a pony of your kind in decades.” He took a canteen off a fixture on the wall and raised it to his lips. “Last bunch of journey equine we got in these parts was an exodus of earth ponies who actually managed to scale the ravine from the east.”
“You don't say?” Rainbow Dash's wings twitched. “And did they have any interesting stories to tell?”
He took a sip, but lingered. His gray eyes blinked, and he eventually swallowed with a solemn expression. Slowly, he hung the canteen back up on the fixture and trotted towards the door, motioning to her. “How about you finish your lettuce, filly, and then we can have a little talk about the east...”
Rainbow Dash squinted curiously at him. She looked across the way at Desert Light. The younger stallion had a solemn expression. For once, he wasn't scowling at Rainbow Dash.
She took a deep breath and munched a few lasting bites. “Well, at least the greens are good...”
how many chapters do you want? also FIRST!
Awesome this story keeps me wanting more each time I read an update You could turn this into a novel second!
Damn, son, I always see this in the feature box, but there's no proper synopsis so I can't get myself to read it, because I have no idea what the buck this is about.
Someone would write me a short description please?
1239940
Disaster strikes the mane 6. Rainbow Dash experiences all sorts of crazy on her quest heading east.
This story is so mysterious : The author never comments, the story only has one tag, Discord is probably involved somehow, etc,....
Achievement Unlocked: "You Think I Need To Actually Do Something To Get An Achievement? Ha!"
Also, dat Clint Eastwood joke. Though I didn't see Cold Canter talking to any empty chairs...
1239940
This story is 99% about Rainbow Dash kicking ass and making witty one-liners. HERS IS THE SNARK THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!
Other things happen too, but they're not as important as RD being awesome.
I've got a bad feeling about this...
Title Obtained: "The Awesome" (Don't know why I haven't had that title yet)
-Minty
P.S. Due to demand, I'll be compiling all Titles into a blog post soon. I will put up a comment soon to signal its completion.
Guys look what I found on the Cleveland show t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTQtXuxJckJDyXuZzusk9ZolBVL-aDzplhQTGjO_zXWZQ8eZeNvWA this is either a large coincidence or someone at Fox is a Brony
It's hard to believe that so much work has gone into this already, and I have no idea if it's even halfway over! Not that it's a bad thing, of course.
Fuckin' lol, man.
1240724
You wouldn't...umm...happen to have that in a larger size, would you? I can barely read the damn thing.
1240922 SOS that's the biggest I could get it
1240965
Sadface.
1240922 on the sign there is the letters. TS RD FS PP R AJ. In that order. Which is Twilight sparkle rainbow dash fluttershy pinkie pie rarity and applejack just to clear things up
Something awful happened to those earth ponies... I can feel it...
1240584
This is relevant to my interests. Have a follow!
And IC pulls another two likeable and interesting characters into being in a matter of 2 days... damn he's good.
Anyway, ths canyon arc is gonna be good
1245360 I hate when my favourites is above TWENTY. Too many chapters to read, and if I ever dont feel like reading for a week or so, I get a reidiculas favourites counter.
The title post has been completed. Check it out Here
Hah, finally caught up! This story just keeps getting more epic!
Haha, loving the sassy old guard pony. And I'm sensing Rainbow's gonna be meeting with some shenanigans in this canyon thing... Onward!
1246536 i don't want to hear it iv been trying to catch up with this story for 2 months now. then my internet went out for 3 weeks when i was 20 chapters away from catching up.. Besides DarkWing updates daily.
Day 10:
I DID IT! I BEAT DASHIE! Onward, for I must camp soon.
IIIIIt's Dashie's Thanksgiving Day Marathon Evaluation Time Special!
Okay, so we get some more interaction between Dash and the guards here. We also get the first hints of a conflict, so that should spice things up a little bit. Although I wonder if these two are the only ponies that live at this outpost...if so, I feel bad for them. These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
P.S. Two down, eight left! To reach the minimum, at least. I may do some extra just to annoy Regidar.
P.S.S.1662572 I shall return with a vengeance...
1663197 Aw man, I just thought I would catch up to you again.
“Insincere response: you are most welcome
“Yes, but she has the wings of shut your muzzle!” Cold Canter growled.
Bahahaha!
Haha, holy shit. I really did have the image of Clint Eastwood in my head for Cold Canter, even before Dash made the comparison.
1239940 Rainbow Dash flies east
3681308
Stahp
The gorge is far more treacherous than many know.
Time to really find out about this gorge.
Gran Torino reference?
Mood chaaange!
5941079 Standard grumpy old folk reference.
(Which includes Gran Torino.)
Funny how what one doesn't say is often just as important as what they do say.
03/21/2017 01:10 UTC
Wait! So Rainbow Dash knows her uncle? If I remember correctly, she never knew her parents in this alternate universe. When she said that earlier in the story, it made me think she was an orphan, but now it seems still have relatives after her parents passed away/whatever happened to them. I wonder who her godparents were then. Could it have been her uncle and aunt?
I am probably looking way too deep into this, but I hope this will actually get explained and isn't just a one-off joke.
8425691
I think they just have a more hands off approach to child rearing, and if her uncle is more adventurous and boisterous, I believe that Rainbow Dash would gravitate more toward him for guidance, and mentoring.
I swear, every Darkstinian gets HK47's voice in my head now.
I'm starting to remember why Cold Canter was the most memorable character unique to this book for me. He's just great all around.