• Published 13th May 2012
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Austraeoh - Imploding Colon

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A thick crowd had gathered in the street at the front end of the clothiers store. More and more Verdestone ponies trotted up, craning their necks and peering for the source of all the attention. The nearby alleyways echoed and rang with dozens if not hundreds of curious voices.


On a third story balcony overlooking the south side of the same building that housed the store, a door opened. Rainbow Dash poked her head out. She looked every which way, exhaling with relief at finding the coast clear. Then, fidgeting, she stepped out onto the balcony in a long-sleeved, fully-pressed suit with a black vest and a satin violet undershirt. The dark collar of the ensemble covered the golden body of her pendant, so that only the ruby lightning bolt stood out like an awkwardly lavish tie.

“Horseapples,” she muttered, fidgeting with the cuffs just above her hooves. “I feel like I should be lying in a coffin or something.” Nevertheless, she glanced back at her sides with a smirk, relieved to see the bottom end of the suit fully covering her blue-feathered wings. The material had been tucked under the saddlebag, which remarkably matched the colors of the suit due to the royal velvet of the twin pouches. “Well, guess I don't stick out like a sore hoof after all.”

“Is it everything you wanted, your majesty?” said one of the two mares as they followed her up to the balcony. “We... hope you are happy with it.”

“I'd be happier if you didn't call me 'your majesty.'”

“Anything to make you happy, your highness,” one mare said.

Rainbow Dash groaned.

“Even if... erm...” One of them smiled, shifting awkwardly on her hooves as she gazed nervously at the threads. “The choice is most decidedly masculine.”

“Some of the best things in life are, girl.” Rainbow Dash straightened her collar and motioned towards the crowded streets below. “I can't believe everypony is flipping their lid. I can't thank you enough for giving me a back door exit.”

They both giggled and nodded fervently. “You obviously must have important things to attend to. We're just happy to have been blessed by your presence.”

“What do I owe ya? Seriously?”

“Your blessing, perhaps, your highness?”

“Uhhhhhh... Yeah. Sure.” Rainbow Dash waved a hoof. “'In nominal pasture, and filly, in spitton stanky.' How's that?”


“I can't believe I just witnessed the royal tongue!”

Rainbow Dash winked. “Oh no. You ain't getting that.” She cleared her throat. “Hey, I hate to be a total lame-oh and ask for more after all the swell stuff you've done for me, but could you tell me where I might find the Chamber of Respresentatives here in Verdestone?”

“You mean you don't know where it is, your highness?”

“Uhm. You know how tiaras are; they weigh down the skull so much that they squeeze out brain cells. Could you remind me?”

One mare spoke while gesturing over the eastern rooftops. “Head northeast about twelve blocks until you are past the courtyard with the fountain and cherry blossoms.”

“Such a beautiful side of town—” The other cooed. “You might find a prince there!”

The other stamped on her hoof and continued. “And take a left and head past the barracks. You'll find a large building with tall marble columns and a statue of the founding ponies of Emeraldine. Go straight inside, and you'll find the Chamber.”

“They should be having a meeting now!” said the other mare after wincing from the other's contact.

“Well, awesome sauce.” Rainbow Dash bowed—before turning it into a curtsy in mid-execution. “Uhm... So yeah. Thanks for the cool threads. It won't go to waste.” With that, she smiled, and took a running leap off the edge. Her eyes bugged in mid-air. “Oh crap, I forgot—Gah!” She plummeted three stories.

The mares winced. The sound of collapsing garbage cans and a shrieking cat could be heard from far below. After a breath of silence, Rainbow Dash's voice warbled upwards.

“We're good!” She coughed and sputtered. “Meant to do that!”

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