• Published 13th May 2012
  • 49,153 Views, 8,110 Comments

Austraeoh - Imploding Colon

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“Somebody stop the cow-filly, I wanna—HIC—get off...”

“Gosh darn it, Rainbow, you done gone too far.” Applejack moaned. She trotted across the Ponyville countryside under the sparkling canvas of night. She wasn't alone. A drunk and thoroughly sapped Rainbow Dash was quite literally draped across her back. “What did I tell ya last year about havin' too many mugs during Cider Season?”

“It's just... so—HIC—good...” Rainbow Dash said, then giggled as she clung limply to Applejack's spine. “I'd like to—HIC—have another...”

“Uh uh. No more for you, missy. Maybe yer ego can take it, but I ain't so sure about yer insides. And while we're on the subject, you'd best be holdin' it in. I'll have you home in a jiffy...”

“Holding what in?” Rainbow Dash slurred and blew a tuft of blonde mane hair out of her nose. “We're at a party, AJ. It's okay to let loose...”

“No, Rainbow.” Applejack sighed. “The party was back at Sweet Apple Acres, and it ended three hours ago. Land's sakes...” She shook her head and groaned. “You'd sure as sugar better thank me for this in the morning.”

“Mmmmm... Sankuuuuuu, Jappleack...”

“Oh Goddess...”

“Mmmmf—Heehee... Thanky Thanky Thanky for the Cidey Cidey Cidey—HIC—Snkkkt-Hahahaha!”

“Heh heh heh.” Applejack couldn't help but guffaw. “My stars, Rainbow. You certainly are smashed. What would do without me, sugarcube.”

“Hmmm...” Rainbow Dash's face tensed slightly as her eyes rolled to take in the blossoming stars above. “Don't like... Don't like...”

“Huh? Don't like what?”

“Nnngh... Don't like b-being alone...”

Applejack smiled gently. “You ain't alone, darlin'. You've got friends who love and care for you, even if you are drunk off your flank. Now hold on tight, and dun be thinkin' about nothin' that might make you throw up. I'm gonna take you home and you'll be safe. I promise you...”

“Take... m-me home...” Rainbow Dash nodded.

“Whew. Thank goodness pegasi are some light-weighted folks or else this would have been a real chore. Feels like all your fancy schmancy flight exercises are worth somethang.”

“Mmmm... t-take me home...”

Applejack laughed again. “I am, RD. I am... just hold yer... hold yer... well, you know what I mean...”

While Applejack hummed a gentle tune to herself, Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. The hiccups left the pegasus' lungs, and instead a warm breath filtered through her. She held her limbs tighter around the kindly mare who was carrying her away somewhere safe, somewhere warm. A gentle moisture lined her eyes, matching the redness beneath her cheeks. With a contented smile, she closed her lids and lay limp on Applejack's back, nuzzling her soft orange coat.

If Rainbow Dash never became popular, if she never joined the Wonderbolts, if all of her plans for the future never came through, it suddenly didn't matter. Living a long and healthy life meant countless opportunities—countless nights and morning—to cherish a memory such as this.

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