• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 minutes ago

CrackedInkWell


"Inspiration does not come to the lazy. It only comes to those who call it." - P. I. Tchaikovsky

E
Source

Applejack's cousin, Braeburn Apple, writes her a letter for her to come to Appalossa as quickly as possible but it doesn't tell her why. So assuming the worst, she ropes in her friends to come with her as a backup.

When they get there, not only is Braeburn fine, but Soarin is also there too. Why?


A friendly warning: this story is contains M/M shipping, if you don't like either or both of those, you all know where the exit button is.

This is my present to all of you guys before I have to go on vacation with my family. Consider this as a kind of weird Christmas present.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Your grateful storyteller,

-CrackedInkWell.


A special thank you to SecretBrony01 for proofreading this story.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 50 )

I like how your story got votes without any of the voters actually reading the story.
i.snag.gy/ssluB.jpg

5425642

I'm that one guy who absolutely despises shipping in all forms


so, naturally this reflected that.

5425702 .... I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut.

5425715

Sorry. I think shipping is kind of pointless.

5425642
that's weird there must be something wrong with it because i know i had another friend read it also.

Braeburn interrupted her cousin

When did Braeburn become a woman?

5425732 My bad, let me fix that.

5425702

So, what is the point of even going to the story? If you aren't going to read the story, there is no point in down voting, especially if you know you are not going to like it.

5425724

Well, when I was looking at it, it said that, but now it has views on it.

5425740

Oh contraire, my friend. If I KNOW I am going to dislike the story, than what's the harm in downvoting it? After all, I dislike it. And btw, I did in fact read (some) of it. And boy was my intuition right.

Fucking, Applejack. They're fucking.

5425744

So, based on the time I have known this story has been out, and when the down votes were placed, you have done more of a skim rather than a read.

The effects a down vote can have on a story: discourage other reads into thinking that the story was bad grammar/plot wise rather than just someone not liking it for being what it is. If you don't like it for being a specific genre, don't click it. If you aren't going to actually read the story (all of it), and give it a reasonable chance, don't even bother going near it.

Sadly, you are a new member, so I won't really expect much.

5425774
5425744 Now now, both of you, if either of you are going into a comment war, do it on Twitter or Facebook if both of you please.

5425774

So just because I'm a new member I'm automatically a dumbass then?

I downvote something when it goes somewhere I don't like. That's how I do things.

5425781

Don't have either, my friend. Can't so anywhere but here.

5425759 Okay, okay, that's actully funny.

5425783

So just because I'm a new member I'm automatically a dumbass then?

Your choice. How you interpret my words is your choice and your mind. I can tell you simply what I mean by what I say, but I prefer the many people I converse with to think more than they want to; it brings out character. That is how I work.


5425781

Hate Twitter, sorry, and I'm frightened of the many pedophiles on Facebook. If any of them were to find out who I am, who knows what they would do. They might... watch My Little Pony with me! Actually, that doesn't sound too bad.

5425814

And so the time comes when I meet the first person on fimfiction I don't really care for.

I honestly thought this was your average shipping story to be honest. There wasn't much going on. There needs to be more to it than just a simple bashing of the two together and coming up with a storyline for their relationship.


5425642
Total views don't tally until after a certain point. It's not automatic.

5425869 Any helpful suggestions before I head off soon?

5425884 Maybe utilize flashbacks during dialogue to help describe and show us the scenes as to how they formed the relationship instead of simply telling us what happened. It seems like it ran too quick and it didn't really fill in all the blanks.

“I ended up spending my vacation time here,” Soarin said. “While it wasn’t exactly as I was expecting, being with him made that bad few days a whole lot better.”

“Ha, thanks,” Braeburn smiled at the compliment.

“So, the day before I had to leave, was the day I found out that he’s in the closet. You remember what happened on that day, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, Ah do,” Braeburn nodded. “You caught me playin’ my fiddle at sunset. You said that Ah was pretty good and told me thanks for having him over durin’ his stay. We talked a little, then suddenly my mouth let somethin’ slip that Ah didn’t mean ta.”

“And that being?” Applejack asked.

“He basically told me that he liked me,” Soarin said. “Since I hear this all the time, I usually would brush it off, but, when he said it, he covered his mouth and looked horrified for saying it. And then, he just, broke down in front of me. He kept apologizing over and over, crying as well. Of course, it didn’t take Sherlock Hooves to figure out that he like guys but could say it. I hugged him saying that I didn’t mind because, well, I went that way as well. That he’s a gentlecolt, weird in a good way, and that there’s no shame in liking somepony has the same thing between your legs as you do. Also, I kinda told him that I’ll be willing to go on a date with him whenever the next break comes in.”

This whole bit could've been told in a flashback and expanded on. I felt like I just viewed a conversation and not really got the whole picture.

Plus, there's not a lot of flare into this fic. Not saying it needs some purple prose, because that's unnecessary for a story like this. Rather, maybe some sentence variation or different literary techniques (like poetic verse) maybe help spice your story a bit.

I do like how excited the two are in telling AJ their relationship. That was a good call, but the story itself seemed generic and not its own story you know?

5425907 I'll see what I can come up with, but for now I really need some sleep.

well crackinkwell i liked it, yes its a bit basic but every once in a while i like a short and sweet story that gets right to the point! good luck on the writing! :heart:

Well the first thing I feel the need to say is that this story is written poorly. On a technical level, it's just plain bad.

However, it is also really rather charming. Plus, it's always nice to see an AJ that the author has not turned into a homophobic villain. For AJ the most important thing is always going to be family, and I got a real sense of that out of this fic.

5425744
Votes should only be given based on the content of a story, not the premise. You wouldn't upvote a crossover with a game or movie you like that has terrible grammar and plot, just because it's a crossover, would you?

Follow for follow? Anyone?

No crop frailer?

Is that supposed to be "failure"?

it ain't your fult

"fault"

Gonna be a beutiful night,

"beautiful" Or, as Jim Carrey would say "B...E...A...utiful...."

bad habbit I think

Habit only has one "b"

he wondered though

"wandered through"

The recrutes soluted

"The recruits saluted"

Captian's office

"Captain"

"Affermative,

"Affirmative."

coltfriend in Appaloosa

The proper spelling of the town is Appleloosa. Appaloosa is an actual breed of horse that the town derives its name from.

"We've been shuned,

"shunned"

the folks there either advoid us or kick us out from their buisnesses,

"avoid" and "businesses"

"No, neither of us have experenced any real violince there (thank Celestia) but they can get harsh when they speak to us. In fact, the sheruff

"experienced", "violence" and 'Sheriff".

What to you perpose to do

"What do you propose"

diffrent as they think.

"different"

And that's just the spelling mistakes. Don't even get me started on the grammar mistakes and wrong tenses.

5428210 Thank you for that, I'll correct them as soon as I can.

If you want to edit this, I'll welcome it. Besides, the rewrite was done on a tablet with no spell check. (And even for me it's incredibly annoying!)

The story itself is perfectly fine. Not particularly outstanding, but it was charming and sweet, and I liked it as a whole.

But buddy, you really need to get yourself a proof-reader/editor. The grammar and spelling mistakes in this story are REALLY bad, especially near the end, where it seems to just take a nosedive. It really distracts from the story you're trying to tell, and as a result it pulls you out of the narrative and takes away the atmosphere you've created.

Other than that, great job on the story. You show a lot of potential for a writer, you just need to organize things a bit more, and work on your spelling and grammar. :eeyup:

Keep up the good work!

I like the story and I hope a sequel is out soon!

-Lightning \[T]/

5429373

A friendly warning: this story is unedited and it contains M/M shipping, if you don't like either or both of those, you all know where the exit button is. Also that I did the rewrite on a tablet that doesn't have a spell check. If anyone wishes to edit or proofread this story, feel free to volenteer.

Funny, I thought I mentioned something like that. Oh well, Thanks anyway.

5429932

Whoops, my mistake! :twilightsheepish:

Either way, great job on the story!

5430322 As an after-thought, you were right on one thing: this story is indeed ment to be a short and sweet story. And it's something that I've ment to write but never got the chance to. I never ment for the thing to be an instant masterpeice, but something enjoyable to write, even when there's not much meat on it's bones.

Again, thanks anyway.:ajsmug:

5426024 That in a nutshell was my intention.

Comment posted by wlam deleted Jan 11th, 2015

Love this shipping :raritystarry:

*sniff*
HOW?:raritycry: HOW COULD I NOT READ THIS BEFOHOHOHORE?!?:raritydespair:

this was nice story, the part about buffalo's was nice touch to add

I like this story and I don't even like any kind of shipping

(Except derpy and doctor whooves ship)

Nice fanfic!
I like it how you tried to put detail on how they met, how they got togheter and etc. The way that they had to deal with unnasceptance was really well-descripted, and I can totally understand why Braeburn was scared of telling AJ, after all, he already had a bad experience, even if with just rumors. Also like the way you portray AJ, so yep.
Keep up with the good work!

I like this story its a nice little ship that i quite enjoyed

Comment posted by Silver Inkwell deleted Aug 14th, 2019

8211818 And yet, even though you clearly saw the very cover, instantly knew what it was about from the description, you still clicked on it... :rainbowhuh: This to me is much more fascinating then insulting.

Comment posted by Silver Inkwell deleted Aug 14th, 2019

8211853 Look, I get that this sort of thing isn't exactly everyone's cup of tea. But one would think that it's common sense that if there are obvious themes that one doesn't like, one shouldn't click on it in the first place. I can't say that I'm offended but rather puzzled then anything else.

Comment posted by Silver Inkwell deleted Aug 14th, 2019

I'm always happy to find a Soarburn story I haven't read. Pretty quick, but I liked it. Nice work.

8211961
It is not correct to treat others' tastes in this way. Sorry but this kind of behavior can be hurtful for readers and authors who love and write Ship M/M

You don’t like it, so you don’t read a story that doesn’t hide from its contents. If you do not like a vegetable you will not voluntarily take some is not? The same logic is involved here.

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