• Member Since 8th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday

SparklingVynegar


I'm going to post new stories again, I promise.

T
Source

You work for a taco store that you hate. Your job sucks. You hate your boss. And your very slowly starting to hate your life. But when a new customer catches your eye, it just might lead your lives for the better.

Rated T for Tacos.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 38 )

When I first saw Sonata, I knew she would be one of my waifus.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

(with a pony-tale for your only-kinda-long-hair, because good God if someone saw that you had girl hair)

just like mine! I really love this story. I actually feel like I'm this guy. I really do love Sonata too and I'm happy to see she's getting so much love. I really hope to see more soon.

This is a cute, sweet little story. It could use a little editing, but it's very cute.

This was good for a one shot. I know love at first sight although rare is in fact possible. I've seen it in real life, but I digress, I love Sonata too and really want to see more of her. I love villans who are only bad because thats all they know. It adds so much more depth.

Very nice story! :twilightsmile:

Rated T for Tongue.

No, Rated T for TACOS! :rainbowlaugh:

I can't diss those who work in fast food. One of my cousins works for McDonalds and another who works for Taco Bell. Though I have no idea of the working conditions, as I don't really talk to any family outside of my siblings, parents, and grandparents.
What is the point of all this? I don't really know. I don't even like tacos. Hail cheese enchiladas!

This was a very nice read :pinkiesmile:

Sonata is the best Dazzling :rainbowkiss:

This is so cute and so is Sonata. This got me feel better. Great job!

You should consider making a sequel, I don't know why but I could see this having a sequel. Regardless this is an awesome story!

This was fairly well written, and was definitely an enjoyable read. Also, I just knew someone would make the reference to "Moonlight Sonata", and I doubt you're going to be the only one :derpytongue2:

(Especially since Sonata's last name is "Dusk", which is another word for "nightfall", which implies moonlight.)

(with a pony-tale for your only-kinda-long-hair, because good God if someone saw that you had girl hair)

I'm going to admit, normally I can't really immerse myself very well into POV fics like this since they're usually written from a male perspective, but in this story, this was the only line that I noticed that could indicate gender. It's ambiguous enough that it could still be interpreted either way (though it still isn't me - I refuse to cut my long and flowing hair), so I was able to get into this one rather easily.

Oh, also, "pony-tale" should probably be "ponytail". Thought I should mention that :twilightsheepish:

5220123 Fixed! :twilightsmile: I wasn't really planning on keeping the gender that ambiguous, but if you like it I won't stop you. This story is actually a small bit (and by that I mean an absurd amount) of self projection. The gender is meant to be a guy (since I am one).
My favorite author once said that reading a Second POV is like being in a role-play. If you make the POV generic enough that everyone can relate, then they lose all personality and become bland. Instead you give them slight attributes and qualities that, while not applicable to everyone (or even most people) they help develop the POV's character.
Your hair, for instance, is probably a lot longer than mine (and Mi Amore CADENZA, how I envy you) but for the sake of the fic, it's best that I use a set quality for something as unimportant as hair.
However, I state what they do to the POV's hair in a way that can make it relate-able. Whether your hair is 8 inches long or 6 feet long doesn't matter, having a company you work for force you to hide it would probably make anyone angry, and that's how the reader relates.

5222123 Ah, I see. I certainly didn't mean to imply that you should make a POV generic - as you said, that would defeat a lot of the purpose in writing one. I was basically just making a side-comment that gender is the only issue I might have when trying to immerse myself these things - I certain can enjoy reading a variety of personalities, and it doesn't degrade the quality.

Believe me when I say, the character is definitely relate-able regardless. For example, when the store manager came out and yelled at the guy, I wanted to tear her a new one :twilightsheepish: I wouldn't have, but I wanted to.

If any of my comments come across as negative, don't let them discourage you - you're quite adept with imagery, and you should keep at it. As I believe I mentioned before, it was rather well written.

(Insert obligatory shipping meme here)

You should expand this story :raritywink:

The title is a great idea, my favourite song is Moonlight Sonata in C# minor so I had to check this out. I loved this story, it's easily in my top 10 favourite one shots. There are a number of errors in it such as spelling mistake and extra spaces but they're insignificant to the overall quality of the story.

I don't usually do this but have a moustache. Hell have eight

:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

A truly enjoyable story, sehr gut. (Also, take a look at my profile pic, that is how I walk around in public)

Great chapter I really enjoyed the romance and emotions that have been played out in this one shot. Please make a series with a story line just like this with romance in it. I really enjoyed this chapter and I look forward to the next story you create.
:eeyup:

That was really good. Considering it was less than 3500 words You managed to fit a lot of story in without it feeling rushed. Also it was pretty cute.:twilightsmile: I liked it well done :pinkiehappy:

Oh, Sonata, please marry me. :rainbowkiss:

5521191 No fair, she's my waifu. I claimed her in the theater!

Now I haven't red this yet but I need to comment on this...


Rated T for......... tacos?.......................BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....oh that's rich :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Short, to the point. I liked it!

... That's all I got, I usually like to be a bit more in-depth and point out things people could improve on, but honestly, I think you nailed it. it's a nice gushy little story that designed to make you feel warm inside; so job done there! Thanks for an enjoyable few minutes. :twilightsmile:

That was such a sweet story. :scootangel:

Damn. It's been a year, huh...

I wonder if I could do something to celebrate.

Man, that was really nice, actually

Fantastic stuff ^-^ I love it.

Wunderbar! Magnifique! Kawaii! Love it!

I feel the same way about Sonata she is just so adorable and innocent

Ugh to rushed and forced happy ending. 5/10 crap fic.

This could've been better with two additional chapters.

Comment posted by Alvsecret deleted Jun 3rd, 2022
Comment posted by Alvsecret deleted Jun 3rd, 2022

Moonlight Sonata??!? ©Beethoven
G# C# E
G# C# E
G# C# E
G# C# E
...

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