Coming to Terms with a Demon
I awoke the next morning already dreading my decision and the day before me. I knew I had to have my discussion with Sunset, but was unsure of when the right time would be. The only times during the day that I encountered her were at lunch and our math class. I was sure she would be as hesitant about speaking her mind as I was around everyone else at the table during our meal; so that option was no good. During a class would not be the best of times either. We both weren’t the greatest at math and needed to focus on the notes that were being given. Besides, I was sure the teacher wouldn’t appreciate a constant whispering between the two of us. Either before or after school seemed to be my only options, but I was unsure of how I could convince her to meet me.
As per my usual routine, I took a seat upon my favorite bench. I was still completely indecisive about how I should handle my situation with Sunset. I could text her, ask her to meet me there, and hope that she would show up. I could head inside and attempt to find her amongst the crowd, giving her no chance of escape. With my head aching from the multiple thoughts, my heart pounding, and my lungs breathless from nerves, the only option I could see myself accomplishing was waiting until after school. I felt it was the wrong decision, as Pinkie said, the sooner the better. Though I could not bring myself to do it so soon. I already lost what little motivation I had, believing that all of my panic would be for nothing.
Before I was given the slightest chance to muster up at least a small amount of my courage, the bell rang. I sighed with relief, for once in practically my whole scholarly career, I was glad it was time for class. Sitting on an uncomfortable chair in a warm room while the teacher droned on about the lesson of the day meant safety. All I would have to worry about was making sure I scribbled down what I needed to know and finishing my homework.
***
Lunch came around all too soon. Before I had the chance to develop any form of a plan, I was sitting in my usual chair beside Sunset Shimmer. Both of us were completely and utterly silent as we nibbled at our food. The only reason we could be considered a part of the group conversation was because we were listening intently and nodding our heads, attempting to forget that we were next to one another.
Every now and again when I looked up, I began to notice Pinkie making rather stern faces at me. I pretended to be clueless, and respond with a raised eyebrow, tilted head, or a shrug. In reality, I knew exactly what she was trying to get at. She was urging me to speak with Sunset, no matter the subject. It was for the simple hope that we would start talking again.
After a few more minutes of thought, with my heart pounding heavily once more, I made the decision to speak. “Hey, uh… Sunset?” I was surprised that she actually put in the effort to turn her head in my direction, but suddenly, I felt as though I was shoved beneath a spotlight. As I spoke, the others grew silent and turned their heads as well. “Uh…” I mumbled growing more nervous by the second. “H-how are you? Any reason you, you know, have been so quiet?” A deep, trembling frown appeared on her lips as she turned away, looking down at her food. The others looked away awkwardly, and attempted to start up their conversation once more.
Even if she was not speaking, I still had to tell her what I needed to say. I wanted to give up, but knew I couldn’t. “Look… I really need to talk to you. I’m not sure if you just hate me now, or you’re afraid, but we have to talk.” I was surprised to see her give a slight nod. “I know right now isn’t a good time, but after school maybe?”
“Meet outside?” she mumbled. My stomach began to flutter; they may not have been the best words to ever come out of her mouth, but they were the first I had heard directed at me in quite some time.
“…Yeah, okay.”
***
As the bell signaling the end of the school day rang, I immediately began to wonder whether or not I would actually find Sunset outside. My bag already packed, I stood up, slung it over my shoulders, and hoped for the best as I exited the room and made my down the hall. I quickly fell into flow with the many other students that moved towards the exit.
As I made my way outside, I squinted in the bright sunlight. I allowed my eyes to fully adjust before I scanned for Sunset. As I made my way down the steps, I realized that she leaned against the large statue of a horse in the center of the lawn. They were the Canterlot Wondercolts after all. The statue still seemed rather odd, making me wonder why exactly horses were such an important figure in the town. There was no time to for those kinds of thoughts though. Sunset Shimmer had actually decided to meet up with me.
A worried look appeared on her face as I approached. I had never seen her so nervous, so afraid. Her small mouth trembled softly and her eyes glimmered with fear. “H-hey,” she muttered, choking up. “You wanted to talk?”
I nodded my head softly, unsure of exactly how to begin. “Yeah… I do.” I could feel my cheeks growing warmer and warmer as the words pieced themselves together in my mind. “Look… I, uh, really like you, and I want us to be more than just friends. I have a feeling you do too, but there’s something holding you back, isn’t there?” She nodded her head, a soft whimper escaping her mouth as she grimaced. “The reason you’ve been avoiding me is because you’re trying to hide it.”
“Mhm,” she muttered then swallowed.
“The only way that this is ever going to work is if you just tell me, and trust me, I really want us to work.”
I watched as tears streamed down Sunset’s face before she was able to cover it up with cupped hands. Her back hit the base of the statue with a soft thump before she collapsed to the ground, sobbing. I could feel myself beginning to tear up at the sight. I was sure that I had never seen anyone in such a wretched state. “It won’t work… because once you know the truth, you won’t feel the way you do about me now. You probably won’t ever want to be around me again.”
I knelt down upon my knees before her and grasped my hands firmly around her shoulders, wanting to provide her with as much comfort as possible. “Hey, it’s okay. That won’t happen. I promise,” I cooed softly as I moved one had down her arm and grasped her own while I brushed the other through her silky hair. “Sunset… please tell me. I don’t think you realize how l long I’ve waited to hear your side of the story, the full story. All I’ve gotten so far is hints, hints I have a hard time believing.”
“It won’t be okay,” she whimpered. She sniffled as she attempted to wipe away her tears with her free hand. “But you’re right, I can’t keep something like this from you. You need to know. It’s wrong of me to hide it.”
“Yeah,” I said with a nod as she took a few deep breaths in preparation. “Thank you for doing this, it means a lot, and I’m sure it’ll help.”
She huffed in response as if to tell me that my statement was a lie. She let her fierce eyes fall shut for a moment of preparation. Deep breaths escaped her lips as she wiped away the few remaining tears which hung from her long eyelashes. As her eyes blinked open, I could tell she was in a much calmer, or at least much more focused state. “Before we start this, I just want you to know that the Sunset Shimmer you know is who I really am. You may have a hard time believing it after what I tell you, but none of what I’ve said to you or the way I’ve acted around you is fake. Please promise me that you understand that.”
I nodded my head softly. “I promise,” I mumbled, gazing at her intently as I awaited what was to come.
“Okay, here goes… I used to not be anything like I am now. I was infamous here at CHS. I was loved by some, feared by others, and hated by many, but I was the most popular girl here. Absolutely everyone knew my name, and that I ran the school. I guess not much has changed, except me… and the fact that I’m hated by everyone and probably the least popular girl in existence. I don’t care though, I deserve it. I was a… a bitch!” she grumbled between clenched teeth, pounding a fist into the cement. “The meanest, cruelest, most horrible person you’d ever know. Everyone still thinks I am… I’ve tried to show them that I’m not, but they won’t listen. They don’t pay attention to all the changes I’ve made. I try to help, be a good girl, do what I should, make up for what I used to be, but I never get rewarded. I guess I do deserve it though. I just wish that someone would accept me for who I am, not think I’m who I used to be… and the girls, I feel like the only reason they let me hang around them is because Twilight told them to.”
“Twilight?” I questioned, never before hearing the name.
“Twilight comes from my world. She helped save me; she was kind to me even after everything that I’d done to her. I stole her crown… tried to take over all of CHS and then lead my minions into Equestria to overtake it.”
I shook my head, my eyes growing wide as I tried to figure out whether or not she had suddenly gone mad. Equestria, minions, taking over, it sounded like the plot to some poorly written movie. “…Wha?” I finally muttered out, my forehead wrinkling in thought.
“I’m not from this world originally. I was once Celestia’s student in Equestria… but I was too eager. She had to let me go. I didn’t understand that. I got jealous when Twilight gained the title of princess. That was supposed to be me! …At least that’s what I thought, but Princess Celestia was so right. I’m a failure, but I at least want to make up for what I did. I stole Twilight’s crown, brought Equestrian magic into this world… and I… if Twilight wouldn’t have defeated me… saved me, I would still be a monster.”
I began to laugh, believing she was trying to add some form of humor into her story to break away from the drama. “Ha… very funny, I’ve heard people call you a monster before, you’re going off of that aren’t you? Making this into some weird fantasy story?”
Her hand squeezed tightly at my own as she gazed sternly into my eyes. “I’m serious.”
“I… huh? What? I mean…. you… that’s not even possible… it makes no sense.” I struggled to find words, immediately spatting them out when they came to mind even if they didn’t make any sense. Two soft, slender, and trembling fingers were placed upon my lips to stop me from speaking.
“Someone caught it all on video. If you see it, you’ll believe me.” She released her grasp around my hand and quickly retrieved a laptop from her bag. I sat closely beside her so I could view the screen. I watched as she pulled up a video which she had saved. She sucked in a deep breath as her mouse hovered over the play button at the center of the screen. I could tell that she was afraid to relive such a moment. She looked down in shame as it began to play.
The video started with what looked to be a passerby struggling with his phone as he recorded from an angle which seemed to be across the street from Canterlot High School. Although the quality was horrible, the phone had a surprisingly large zoom ability. I witnessed what seemed to be a rather evil looking Sunset rambling on about something to the other girls along with one who I hadn’t seen before, probably Twilight, as she held a golden crown in her hand.
As she placed it upon her head, clouds gathered in the sky and a strange, powerful beam of blue-green light beamed down upon her. She was lifted into the air by its energy. After a few moments the beam disappeared and in Sunset’s place was some kind of large demon-like creature. The two boys which had been standing by her side had also changed into smaller forms of whatever the creature was. She levitated in the air by flapping large bat-like wings which had appeared on her back. It had to be fake, it wasn’t at all possible.
I watched in awe, completely glued to the screen as the film progressed. I witnessed an army of zombie CHS students which seemed to be possessed by her, their eyes glowing a ghostly green. I then watched as the other girls along with Twilight put their hands together and were suddenly lifted into the air as well. Their eyes glowed a bright white as equine ears replaced their own and their hair grew into extra-long ponytails, a few of them even sprouting wings. Then there was an explosion of rainbow which transformed into a colorful tornado around the demon Sunset Shimmer. The camera began to shake with the power imitating from the magical rainbow, and suddenly with a flash it was all over. There was a large hole in the earth, smoke snaking away from its edges. Sunset paused the video before I could see anything more.
“That’s, uh, fake right? You and the girls did it for a movie project or something, like a film class? It’s just…really, really, really well done?” I managed to push out, unable to accept the fact that such an event was real.
Sunset sighed in defeat, once again bowing her head in shame. “It’s all real. Ask any of the girls… anyone in the school, actually. This is exactly the reason why they all act so… bitter around me. I tried to enslave them… all of them.”
“I… uh…” I whispered, my mind set afire with thoughts. I could barely comprehend the fact that the girl I was in love with was once a monster, a literal monster. It was even harder to wrap my head around the aspect of there being more than one world, a world that should be the setting of a fantasy novel. There was magic from said world in my world, and I had no idea how to react. I could think of nothing to say, had no clue how to respond, and was unsure of everything. I was unable to function.
“I understand…” Sunset whimpered as she rose to her feet, tears dripping from her eyes. “I told you this wouldn’t help… it just ruined everything!” She began to sob, tears streaming over her cheeks and dripping down to the cool pavement beneath. “You were perfect for me, but I’m not good enough for anyone. I know I deserve it but… but…”
“Sunset, please,” I pleaded grabbing her hand and pulling her back down beside me. I couldn’t bear to see her in such a state. I could feel the warmth of tears trickling down my face as well. I had promised her that I would think of her as she truly was, the beautiful, sweet, and caring Sunset Shimmer I had met my first day at CHS. The girl I fell for. Her past didn’t matter. Even if she was once a monster, even if she was from some other magical world, she was still herself. I wrapped my hand around her shoulders and pulled her close. “It’s gonna be kind of hard for me to get used to all this weird other universe, magic, and stuff, but that doesn’t mean I’m not in love with you…” I blushed immediately, realizing the words that had slipped from my mouth.
“Love… me?” she asked, her face growing red. “I… I love you too.” I felt her fingers slip between my own as she grasped my hand, and used her other arm to pull me into a rather awkward embrace as we were still seated.
“That demon-thing isn’t who you are anymore,” I asserted, squeezing her hand tightly. “When I met you, I was sure you were the most amazing girl I’d seen. You’ve made me the happiest guy in the world, you actually care about me, and no matter what, I always have fun with you… I mean, besides when you weren’t talking to me.”
She began to tear up once more, and I used my finger to aid in brushing away her tears. “I’m sorry for all of that. I should’ve realized that such a good guy like you would understand. I was just afraid of losing you. Like I said, you’re a perfect match… or at least I think so.”
“You’re perfect too,” I cooed lovingly, my face growing red. Turning to me, she wrapped her arms around my back and gazed at me with her beautiful oceanic eyes. Although slightly strained from her tears, they glimmered with both joy and hope. In response, I wrapped my arms around her slender waist as I gazed back.
My heart pounded heavily as her eyes fell shut; I knew exactly what she was planning. I tilted my head slightly to the right and aimed for her lips. I closed my eyes as well, and leaned in with her. It felt as if my heart was about to explode from my chest as her soft, plump lips pressed down upon my own. Out of pure anxiety, I attempted to pull away, but she wanted more.
My body began to shiver as her hand moved up to the back of my head, locking me into the kiss as she gently stroked her fingers through my hair. My eyes blinked open at the sound of footsteps, and I watched as a group of students passed by, staring at the sight we had created in disgust. I had no reason to care. I didn’t know them, and they didn’t know Sunset the way I did. I loved her and that was all that mattered.
She broke away from the kiss with a dreamy sigh, a joyous and confident smirk on her lips. She wrapped her hands around both of mine and swayed our arms back and forth. “We should do that more often,” she said with a giggle.
“Sure thing,” I cooed, still completely entranced by the new experience. “…I love you,” I muttered shyly, wondering if I’d already said those words enough.
She responded with a chipper grin. “Love you too.” I knew those words were reserved for relationships which had lasted a long length of time, but I suspected that ours would last, and felt quite comfortable saying what I felt; it seemed as though she did too.
“So you’re really going to have to tell me about this other world you come from. You can leave out the bad stuff if you want. I’m just curious about who I’m dating. It’s like I barely even know you… are you even human, really?” I examined her curiously.
“Yeah, we need to fix that. Why don’t I come over again and I’ll tell you all about Equestria. In return, you get to tell me all about you. I don’t really know you all that well either.” In reality, she truly didn’t. I never recalled I time before then that I had spoken to her about myself. “…Oh, and to answer your question, I’m actually a pony.”
“A… pony?” I muttered to which she giggled and nodded her head.
That night was one of the strangest I had ever experienced. As we cuddled closely upon my bed, I learned of a world filled with magic, rainbows, and talking horses; a world that one day I hoped to visit with my pony girlfriend. She was certainly different, literally out of my world, but I guess I wasn’t that normal either. We were the perfect match. What we had and who she was would certainly take some getting used to, but I was willing to put in both the time and effort to be with her.
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5137162
I know that feel
Hey there, Dream. You doing okay?
The feels, man. There BETTER be a sequel series! Rainbow Rocks offers plenty of more material, dude. Please?
5137633
Thanks for telling me that. Would've never noticed
5137560
Um, yes? What brings up that question?
Before Rainbow Rocks means no spoilers, right? I'm not going to see it until it comes out on DVD.
Such a sweet, uplifting story.
This story is so nice! Keep going man! I'm looking forward to seeing this story develop. It is one of the best stories I've read!
Meh not a bad little story just moved a bit to quick for my taste though
5137660 Oh, you know, just checking in, see how you're doing.
Loved it
A nice sweet story. Glad I read it. Any chance of a squeal in the future?
That was good, really good. I don't normally read Romance, but I can call them pretty well. Take a fave and some applause.
It's okay, but the pacing is kinda rushed, while the dialogue is kinda blocky and weird too. Still a bit interesting though.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
This story seems to me kinda like a shameless self-insert.
5138931
Sunset Shimmer does currently hold best pony level on my scale, and she would be a suitable waifu, but nah. If it was self insert his name would be Dreamscape and he'd be writing a lot.
She's not gonna cry for you, Holden 2.0
That's the problem I'm having with this fic. We're given no reason why a beautiful girl would suddenly be interested in some ordinary nerdy awkward 17 y/o newcomer, nvm the girl being Sunset Shimmer. We're not shown why he is worth her time of day.
Oh right, because she feels she doesn't fit in? Except that's a reason for being angsty, not a reason for liking some new guy out of the blue. He's not the only teenager in a high school to feel adjustment problems.
I haven't seen Rainbow Rocks yet, but I already know that even though it will do a lot of things right, the one thing it will do wrong is having Sunset make her heel-face turn too easily. Sure, Sunset faces external obstacles to redemption... but her internal desire for redemption is too complete. Suddenly she's all nice and considerate, with not a residual mean streak remaining. DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. But it's a kids' cartoon movie so we let it slide; we're ecstatic enough that SS isn't just a cameo.
And then your fic takes that borderline-OOC Sunset from Rainbow Rocks, and twists her into unbelievability by further making her Anon's little woobie. This is not Sunset Shimmer anymore. This is just some hot girl who's sorry for doing something that she never would have done if she was Sunset Shimmer.
As for Anon... here's what I kind of learned from Fate/ Stay Night: If I don't feel as if I could like/love a guy, I'm not going to believe the beautiful female main could either. Shirou may not be much of a looker, but the strength of his goodness and his compatibility with Saber made me believe that she would wholeheartedly love him. OTOH, Shia Labouf sucks in every movie. If you want me to believe in the ordinary guy getting the beautiful girl, you gotta be able to SELL IT. The dynamic has to be equal.
... Oh, the story is over? Time for the score!
Pro: Skillfully captures the mind of a teenager. I have serious PTSD flashbacks of reading Catcher In The Rye. It's like a real teenager wrote it!
Con: It's like a real teenager wrote it!
5139007
I didn't wanna say that your story is all that bad, but the development of it is WAY too fast.
Can't say its good or bad, but I enjoyed it. Its not often you get to read fanfics involve with Sunset so I give this thumbs up.
5139207 Kinda agree with him on that. Little TOO quick, but still, a nice story.
This was an awesome story! A little quick, but I loved it nonetheless. I've been looking for a story like this on FIMFiction for Celestia knows how long; the reader becomes friends with Sunset Shimmer, they later develop romantic feeling for each other, and finishes with a happy ending. I would love to see a sequel in the near future.
Stay brony, my friend
5138534
Oh, okay, then yeah, I'm doing fairly well.
5140235 Good to know.
5140265
how about you?
5140270 Doing good, school's going well.
so... any continuations planned at all?
5140540
Thanks, it's been fixed
This is so funny!! Haha!! It's really beautiful. In the reality of things. imagine this sitution:
"So do you have a girlfriend?"
"Ya"
"What's she like?"
"She's a pony from another dimension"
"That's nice"
Good show!
quickmeme.com/img/31/31d7337f5851f7cd9c4c09c824dab3df7089328d1a44818f109d5f03a6fb589a.jpg
Hey another story about Sunset with that title altought this one is obviously totally different in tone to mine
Funny coincidence
Looks very interesting, I´ll keep it to read later.
Which is worse: finding out the girl you like used to be a guy, or finding out the girl you like used to be a horse?
That escalated quickly.jpeg
Chapter felt rushed. They say "i luv u" so fast it feels empty and cheap.
That he keep liking her after revelation, want to keep each other company, be friends ect ect? Yes.
That he (and her) declare his love to her? That's way too fast and too easy.
They knew eachother for roughly two weeks, barely talk and interact for more than.. what? 48 cumulative hours (chats included)? And they already declare their love? Cmon. Built it up. Have them interact more, talk more, do stuff. Preferably in a way that we get to see all of it (not being told about it).
The guy didnt want to be a jerk after the world-shattering revelation that everything he knows is wrong, so he didn't flip out on her... but i'd expect him to ask more questions, at least. Want more explanations, context. For a shy guy he showed he was very socially perceptive, that exlanation id likely stuff he'd be interested in learning about so he can have a good "picture" of the events.
I don't like being told "she told me her life story" about her explaining her world/life to him. I want to see it. Her POV and what she relates on her life in EQ would be very interesting to read about, she woudnt tell it like a boring checklist, she would color it with her opinions and perceptions, cultural values/references and pony morals ect ect.. It would tell a lot about her in both content and how she relates it to him.
5142033
Some would call it a bonus.
i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg248/glasshead99/thumbs-up-obama-not-bad.jpeg
I fucking Love it.
I just...
I ship it SO HARD!
5142085
That would require this author having a clear deep vision of her character. But he doesn't. So he can't really give you that.
I know I sound harsh, but that's what happens when you write a fanfic... fans of the character will come and judge your work based on how well you understand and portray her.
Also, it's not a con per se. Because this story ends before the protag really gets to know Sunset. So him (and the author) not really knowing Sunset as a person... is consistent.
5142446
For some other girls, yes, the protag being a new guy who doesn't know about her past may be the only reason she needs to latch onto him.
For Sunset Shimmer, no deal. It's about knowing the character. This is a girl who is daring enough to leave her entire world because of her own convictions, and determined enough to not get scared and go back. She doesn't need the comfort of A huMAN.
Yes, the EoH experience broke down her previous convictions. But knowing she was wrong doesn't transform a strong girl into a weak one, especially not in an unrelated area like romance.
Thinking a romance can be written into Sunset's "moment of weakness" is as wish-fulfilling as thinking that a self-insert romance can be written into Korra's "moment of weakness" during her 2.5 years of rehab at the South Pole. It could be done but it's a hard sell.
Going to have to agree with some of the critics here. While the story was a nice little piece, a lot of stuff felt rushed and the love part just felt cheap. I know it was done in the movies where suddenly you run into your true love and barely talk but come on.
5142636
LMAO.
You know how old men chat with you and say...
"You married, son?"
"No? Well dangit, good on you!"
*Cue 5 minutes lecture on how marriage destroy's a man's hopes and dreams and why you should never.*
Great story man, but theres one problem.......................
FUCK THAT MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well the story is well written and I enjoyed reading it
Only thing I didn't like it was that it escalated quickly. Just felt a bit rushed or something. Otherwise everything else is great.
5140275 l don't know why, but your conversation made me laugh a little.
Just, you know, putting that out there.
All honest and stuff.
Jeesh, I'm weird.
5144716 Bitte, mein freund. He says as he tries to do a German accent.
"a world that one day I hoped to visit with my pony girlfriend."
If this isn't a setup for a sequel, then I am disappointed. A twist. The pony Pinkie has the same experience/memories with them as the human Pinkie.
During the part where Sunset explains her past, if I was the guy I would be like "You lost me at when you said Equestria"
OH MY GOD PLEASE NO IT BURNS WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME KNIGHTY? OMG WHYYYY
Topkek
I'm going to read this later. It looks pretty neat.
Please oh please tell me there is going to be a part 2 to this story I must know what happens next.
That was great. It was fast paced buts I still loved it. More please
This story has good potential, and a decent premise. However, what it has in potential, it lacks in actual follow through. Frankly we don't know much about your protagonist, except that he apparently doesn't have much character outside his new friends. The development of the relationship was rushed at best, deeply underdeveloped and shallow at worst. In general, we taste that a good story is waiting in your concept somewhere, but what we have currently doesn't come close to doing that justice. Still, I like the idea behind it, and clearly you possess the ability to write and speak well. You have the tools you need, but need more patience in your development.
5142033 Definitely finding out that she used to be a guy. A horse is one thing, but at least a horse can be a female. But a guy? Unless you're gay, it would honestly freak a guy out
The whole 'teenage angst" bit is very well-done, albeit a little one-dimensional, but that's okay considering how well-done it is. It's just that, like the story as a whole, the protagonist needs to be fleshed-out more, given more depth and traits other than persisting shyness and anxiety. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this has great potential and a solid premise but feels rushed and only partially-finished. I, for one, would love to see this exhaustively fleshed-out and lengthened (that's what she said, by the way!) in order to take full advantage of your idea, which is very decent. Make that happen and I suspect that the sky's the limit with this one. You've got skills and potential, that much is clear; now go and develop them further and you'll get places.