• Member Since 5th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen July 18th

jl7895


Love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes and we keep loving anyway

T

Sunset Shimmer believes that she will never live down what she did at the Fall Formal. She turned into a she demon and tried to use the students to take over Equestira. She knows that she made mistakes and wants to get past them, but no one will let her. Everyday, she is reminded of how hated she is and how she tore friends apart. Sunset decides that she can't take it anymore and tries to end it all.

Lucky for her, she is saved by a mysterious boy who promises to help her fix her reputation. Sunset decides to entertain the idea, and accepts his help.

I came up with the idea before Rainbow Rocks, but just never put pen to paper. Expect this to conflict with the movie.

Featured on 5/24/15, 7/19/15, and 5/22/16! Thanks to everyone who's ever read this story!

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 69 )

Seems good, unfortunately this guy might need to defend her at school. Just my thoughts, good read though keep it up.

I liek it. Looking forward to more!

Wes

...you have my attention, sir....

Like the concept, I just think you steered it in the wrong direction.

It's interesting for a starter and it shows that even if Sunset did some bad things, the simple students can be just as bad as her because they like it's the right thing after all she had it coming right ? :pinkiecrazy:

The only downside for me is the fact that the guy is from equestria. It's not a bad idea, but I think the impact is not the same since it's his duty to watch over her. I know he says he would have done it even if the princess hadn't told him to, but I believe that if he was just an average student it would have a better redemption effect in the long run since it doesn't seems that Sunset was mean to him in the past (at least from what we know right now) so there is nothing to forgive.

Otherwise I like it and I'll wait to see where you will go with this. :moustache:

5156529 I agree with this guy.
Not as big of an impact since it was his duty to watch over her and the fact that he is from Equestria.

Alright, me likey this story so far.

Couple of things though:

“This is going to be a long process isn’t it. -- Missed the end " here.
I tried being nice and helping them, I tired staying out of people’s way, there is nothing I can do to change their minds -- Typo on what was probably supposed to have been 'tried'

typos here... :fluttershysad:
Easy to fix though. :pinkiehappy:

My other issue is more technical. You used almost no dialogue tags during the interrupted suicide conversation, and (possibly) more importantly, you didn't describe Sky Light at all. I have no clue what that dude looks like. Dialogue tags help the reader keep track of who's talking, and helps the dialogue flow better. It can also make things more interesting by showing action or emotional responses, of which that scene could have had plenty.

For me, character description is less important, because writing isn't a visual medium, so I won't remember a character's finer details anyway, but it would still be nice to have some basic deets; skin tone, hair color, etc.

The above aside, I'm enjoying this. I think it's well written, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Aww, I can understand why Sunset would want to make that decision. Anyone in her shoes probably would have at that point. :fluttercry: Thank God she showed her full confidence in herself with her solo in Welcome to the Show. :pinkiesmile:

Please continue!

Love what I see so far but there are some - wait did I saw some? I mean A LOT of grammar issues. or example, towards the beginning, there's a line that says "Snails and Snails". I get that it's most likely a typo, but I still wish I could fix it. Sorry, I'm just a bit of a perfectionist and seeing that really threw me for a loop.

Intriguing story! I'd really like to see how this story turns out! Please update!

YES!!!
An update! And I love it!

An update? Do my eyes deceive me?! YESH! Great chapter! I LOVED THIS! Although, I'm now a little curious about Sky. What could've possibly make him take Flash's songs? Was he threatened? Or was it something more? Either way, I'm liking where this is going! Please keep it up and update again soon!

Alright, now I'm kinda suspicious about Sky. Is he deceiving her or has he changed? :unsuresweetie: Cos if you hurt Sunset, you're gonna DIE, Sky!!!! :twilightangry2:

Anyway please update soon. :twilightsmile:

2x

I'm sensing a protagonist slash antagonist on sky like he's neutral:trixieshiftleft:.
nice chapter by the way:pinkiehappy:

Nice chapter, but the perfectionist inside me makes me want to fix all the little grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes I found. Overall, the story's really good so far.

5325920
If you want, you can point them out to me either here or in a message. I won't mind.

5326004 nah, it'd take me too long and I'm really lazy lol. besides none of them really affect the story (which is still really good btw).

wat. Celestia de facto exiled one of her guards just like that? Sorry I'm not buying it.

5378548 a guards duty is to protect and obey the Princess and it is cannon that Celestia is concerned about Sunset so why is it unbelievable that she would want to make sure she was safe. Plus Sky Light wasn't exactly dumped there, The princess used magic so he had a life there, A home, Money, A proper identity and a simple job to do and no reason he couldn't go home if he needed to. Its hardly what I would call exile.

Have you ever waken up

*woken

I didnt notice anything else. Im really enjoying this story so far Keep it up I cant wait for more :twilightsmile:

5475744
Working on it. My goal is to post by the 10th.

Awwww...

I liked this chapter.

“I have a friend who knows way more about science than I do. He usually runs the meetings, but he’s traveling right now.”

Damn it, why do I keep thinking Doctor Hooves?

aawww that was cute so cute i have to boop your nose i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/boop.gif

and now i'm your newest follower

stay classy:moustache:

“We’re waiting on somepony to deliver the flyers.” Fluttershy explained.

No offense, but I think, that should be someBODY:derpytongue2:

What a nice chapter! I really enjoyed it! It was nice to see Sky's side of the story of the "Song" incident.

That was great :twilightsmile:
Its nice that things are starting to look up for Sunset. :pinkiesmile:

The guard thing DOES seem like something Celestia would do

OMG!!! This was so good! Great chapter!

Some sweet bonding between Sunset and Rainbow, and a special signing from A.K. Yearling herself. Great chapter! :rainbowkiss:

5910796
Yes it is. I just had to deal with some stuff in my life and helping my girlfriend through a difficult time. I am writing the next chapter and it will be as up as soon as possible.

Now I know how to get Fluttershy's number!

I was going to cry "Deus Ex Machina!" when Sky Light said that Celestia sent him, until he explained that he's been there for years. You dodged a bullet there, but tread with caution...

Uhhhhhhhhhh... what just happened? When does this take place?? Before or after Rainbow Rocks???? Why did Sky not--- RRGGGGGGHHHHHH this is infuriating

“Do you need a ride?” Principal Celestia said from inside the car.

Molestia picking up girls.

6012480
It's an alternate universe (check tags). I came up with this story after the first movie, but I just didn't write it. After Rainbow Rocks (and a joke to one of my friends) I was inspired to write this. Rainbow Rocks started to influence the story about chapter 3.

Poor Sunset. Seems she's a bit jealous and unsure on how to act. I hope things turn out okay.

6013105 Oh okay! I knew it was an alternate universe, but it just confused me as to when it was happening.

“Why are you being nice to me? I’m pretty sure I started a rumor or two about you. If anything, you should be pouring a bucket of pig’s blood on me when I reach the end of catwalk.”

Aaaah, I see what you did there. :raritywink:

What is this? A Sunset ship fic that is:

1.- Not Sunlight.
2.- Straight.
3.- Not half r63 Sunlight.

Must be like, the only one of it's kind. Definitely will give it a try.

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