This story is a sequel to Not a Monster 2: Under Their Spell
Our protagonist discovers what friendship means with a little help from Sunset Shimmer and her friends, and he hopes to find even more than that in one of them. In the process, he discovers a real monster.
I strongly recommend reading both NaM and NaM2 before starting this story.
Mane Six tag used only due to character tag limit. Twilight is not a character in this story.
Cover Art: Shine Like Rainbows by NintenDash
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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God damn I love this trilogy.
It has finally come... shoot, I gotta eat. Gunna read it though.
I'm going to have to pace myself on this one. I don't want to end up reading the whole thing tonight
Oho, it's finally here. Let's see what happens to Holden Caulfield I mean Anon I mean whatever his name is.
Let the glorious teenage trainwreck commence!
Finally, the one realisation he really needed.
Nice chapter, but there's a couple of minor things you may want to edit.
I'm pretty sure that should be "hand".
And I suggest and "you" between those.
Nice chapter, but there's some things you may want to edit.
That should be "clothes".
I suggest adding a comma after, "giving".
And this may just may be me nitpicking, but shouldn't these be "food court"?
Thank god its over now I don't have to wonder when. The next one comes out but I'm honestly wishing it wouldnt end
this is the end or is there any chance of seeing not a monster 4
estuvo chido, me encanto
I have a small epiphany of why I hold nothing but contempt for this protag, and yet look forward to reading about him: The author really accurately captures what it was like to be a teenager. Not just in what happens to him, but also in the character's thought process, in the character's decisions and actions. It's like somehow the author is speaking directly to me.
I would never be able to write a story like this, because it would be torture for me to revisit the teenage years of my life. I friggin' hate myself as a teenager. I know it's cliche, but it was a time I wouldn't want to repeat. Because I'm so much better as a person now, even if I'm very far from perfect. So much more confident, more suave, more knowledgeable, with a wider perspective, etc etc etc. And now I'm reading about a character who's like the me I want to slap some sense into.
Unfortunately for the teenagers out there IRL, girls like the EQG Mane 6 do not exist. Just like how a 16 year-old with adult sensibilities does not exist IRL.
Comparing to how this story started with NaM, and where I can assume this is where it truly ends, I can say I'm quite satisfied. Considering how NaM2 ends, I was almost expecting this story to take a more distressing path, or worse. But the direction you went in instead I find was entertaining, wasn't all gloom and doom. Even though there were some mistakes made by the protagonist, and dare I say some sad parts sprinkled around here. The ending almost kinda felt bittersweet too..
My favorite part about this story was the scene with Sunset Shimmer at the gas station. It helped convince me that the two had finally put their past behind them, and were really going to move forward. Plus it was nice to see some aspects of Shimmer being a bit of a tease. Didn't feel out of character at all. And the bits with Pinkie and main character? I loved them.
So over all, any negative points I believe are hardly worth mentioning, as they are extremely minor, and would just be actually nitpicking. Final thoughts? I hate to see this story end if this is truly where it stops. But this will be a story I'll go back to for a while regardless. Good characterization, good development.
Huh... I wouldn't be able to do what he did this chapter: Build a relationship with an athletic girl by playing soccer/ football with her. Because I foul too much. I'm a terrible fouler. :P
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I feel like this connection that readers feel is also the exact reason why many of them believe the protagonist is a self insert. Although he may not be exactly like anyone who is currently in high school or who have experienced it, he is very relate-able to the way we did act and think during that time.
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To your comment about thinking the story would end more distressingly, I was actually following a classical pattern of trilogies that can be seen throughout much of history. Although, it is normally seen in epics or tales that follow the "Hero's Journey," it seemed to work perfectly for this high school tale as well. I'd say the most well known example of this would be the original Star Wars trilogy. Basically, it is an introduction that seems almost too good to be true, a dark turn in the second piece of the trilogy, and then a redemption or return in the final piece, along with a happy ending.
5944170 I see, thank you for the clarification!
Hmm, I see he's coming to some realizations which he couldn't verbalize in the past:
(1) He's being desperate if he's falling for every single one of them after spending an afternoon with them.
(2) The Mane 6 is basically a group of 5 clique leaders/mascots together forming a super-clique, like the NATO of CHS. So yeah, they're really out of your league. But the doors they could open for you.... hooooo...
Rarity's up next? I need to go listen to Life Is A Runway.
...
LOL yeah, definitely outta your league there, Protag.
LOL Rarity is bossy. It's exhilarating on a "first date", welcome even, because her full attention is basically on you the whole time. But imagine living with her for years experiencing that.
"Yes dear. Right away dear. Whatever you say dear. You never look fat dear."
While she is generous to a fault, the career path she's chosen (fashion designer) is well-suited to turn that fault into a networking strength. The goodwill she earns from prominent clients would pay back tenfold. Professions like that is more about networking, charisma, and reputation than actual talent, and she has that as well.
And buck up, Protag. Those "European chic" type clothing really do look good. Guys might make fun of you, but girls love it. In the end you have to think about who you're really aiming to impress.
I'm... just not sure about that last-minute 'hi, I'm sorry' moment between the main character and Sonata Dusk... I'm not sure about it at all. Sure, some time has passed in the story, but... I can't really find myself believing Sonata's apology, since we're going from a different character's perspective and haven't seen what the Dazzlings have been up to, even in a one-shot side slice-of-life, since they finished using the idiot.
It's a believable ending, and there's nothing wrong with it at all, but it just... doesn't feel like an ending and it bugs me, y'know? Does that even make sense? I mean, at the end of the second story, the Dazzlings were still, well, the Dazzlings, the manipulative creatures they were born as/shaped themselves to be... What would lead to even one, even the "friendly" Sonata Dusk, feeling openly apologetic to him?
From NaM2:UtS:
Now, there was the part right after this where he thought he glanced Sonata parting with a frown, but... if she did frown, it could have been for a number of reasons. Pity. Disgust. Sadness. It could have meant anything, really.
Now, this seems to suggest it was out of pity for him more than anything else, but... still, this chapter just feels so... well, lacking in explanation, at least on Sonata's part.
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That moment when I was making fun of myself in this chapter because I dress like a "hipster."
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You might not feel like you're enjoying it, but look at how much you're digginh into the story and contemplating what it could mean. Narrative should always leave some aspects unexplained. It gets the reader to think and participate.
The lack of explanation in that entire final chapter was all done on purpose
5961518 I DO enjoy it, it's just that Sonata, even after a while, having a change of heart for one person -as opposed to the entire school she helped manipulate- kinda seems... off. :D
Did she feel during the time they were toying with him she got attached to him on some level?
Is she -and her sisters- planning to use him again?
See?
5961527
Mhm, you're just proving my point further, haha. That questioning is exactly what I want.
5961655 I suppose so.
I had to stop reading this chapter in the middle yesterday, because I just couldn't bear to read about him messing up (as expected) with Fluttershy. It's just too painfully cringe-inducing. Ahh... you stupid moron... why...
Now you've made the same mistake with 2 girls in a clique of 6. One girl, okay fine. But now two? You think they don't talk to each other? How's the clique going to treat you when they realize you're using them as a free dating service?
LOL, I didn't hear the protag say "Wow Sunset, you've changed."
Well, she's changed back to the way she was, in a way. Her more normal self.
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Sonata is not the kind of trouble that could hurt you, if you are mature enough to establish the boundaries of the relationship. As long as she wants the relationship more than you do, she can't do anything against you. The moment she tries to drag you into any sort of drama, be ready with the "Why are you telling me this?" speech. I think the protag, at the end of this story, is ready to be in charge of his social life.
Aria and especially Adagio, though, are just Trouble. The protag may be at a better place now, but he's still 20 years too early to take them on.
Ah...my heart...why...?
Oh mah God. Rarity's a hippy!
I am glad to skip this chapter
NOW THAT'S HOW YOU MAKING A F*CKING SEQUEL!
Ah hell, here I was waiting for the 3rd story and I missed it while it was new
. Oh well at least I get to read the whole thing all the way through now without waiting so that's at least something 
My my, our anon here is a love sick puppy haha. Cant wait to see what happens in the next chapters; just by looking at it... NAM 4?
Thing I would like to point out however is Anon himself... Is he really that much of a loser? No offence... It just seems like he is just... there. He doesn't really title anything other than he is a just a guy there with relationship problems. Nor does it look like he has any actual interests that would really find him unique or in place in this world.
Just my thoughts... He might actually be a normal teenager with no plans, but in my experiences with stories. The main protagonist is just there. I don't mean to say anything like you are doing anything wrong, but more to the fact that it would make the story have a little balance to it.
Still a great story non the less, I am enjoying the drama and love in this series.
5931736
As for you, i would like to point out, as much of those are errors. Non of here have that much OCD to even care. What really maters is the story and how well it is written. If those grammar errors bother you that much then you need some help man. Being a greentexter on 4chan has shown me that pointing out grammar is a sign of autism there. It doesn't really take someone like me to really tell how useless people like you are.
They do have dollars as stated in the short "Guitar centered".
lol what is with him and dam near falling for any who show him kindness? what if big-mac helps him out down the line?
Ah yes, the meeting place for every single teenager.
You forgot overpriced.
Oh my god, he's the monster.
I KNEW IT.
This, my good friend, was honestly one of my favorite fan fictions on this site. I love the entirety of it and how the trilogy works together fluidly. All in all, I have to say that while I hate things to end, I'm glad it's ending where it is and leaves on a relative high note. The main character, for all the shit he went through, is better than he started and it amazes me how you created such a pleasing character develop in this way. Sad to see it end, but happy I got an end!
This guy just tries too hard to fall in love with everyone.
Wonder who that girl is, or if her identity will ever be revealed. It certainly is an interesting start!
I'm so glad it went that well. He deserves happiness!
Only point I'm wondering about, since this is not tagged as 'Romance'. He obviously craves for love, so I wonder how things will turn out. I mean, it would be rather strange if he suddenly stopped looking for love.
Interesting use of his whole craving for love. Glad though that he is smart enough not to try anything like he did with Pinkie. I mean, he is falling in love with every girl he talks to! He really needs to get that under control. I don't want to see him heartbroken again.
I have the feeling things will go downhill after this chapter. I sincerely hope I'm wrong.
Why can't he just control his cravings? He might ruin his friendships once again in the worst case if it continues like this!
Phew! Glad it went that well! The title got me really worried. I was sure as soon as he begun to drink that he would do a monstrous mistake! I'm so glad I was wrong!
So this is the complete? No fourth part with Friendship Games, whatsoever?
The story was good, but...I actually feel a little disappointed. Not to say I'm not grateful that he at least solved his issues and it didn't end in a catastrophe. It's just that the first two parts were Romances and I kind of missed that in the final part. I mean, sure it was used as a kind of weakness he had to overcome, but I personally would have loved to see him fall in love again as some kind of happy ending like the first part of your story (my favorite, even though it is soured for me now through the breakup). I'm a little glad for that ending, even though it seemed just too short for me.
What I wanted to say is that it was well written and the story was well-built, but I just personally wished I had never read beyond the first part of your story. I somehow find all the occurrences a little depressing (like I said hoping for a Romance to continue, even though I understand why it didn't), even though he had a happy end. But that are just my personal preferences, I guess. I really wished I would feel different about this story and that ending.
Edit: Maybe I was just a bit overdramatic. After a good night of sleep I'm looking at the story differently. At least I see it less depressing now. Still wished to see some more Romance now. I would love to see a fourth part with Sonata at the Friendship Games!
I love it.
The first was a self-sucking Sunset story, then the second got real, and this did too. As a 14 year old cuck who’s always dead inside, I could understand anon’s level of, obsession over that hole in his heart. And the downspiral and loss of emotions and control, wow.
No more words. Pure goodness.