• Member Since 1st Oct, 2014
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Comments ( 50 )

The story type is generally pretty Cliche, but I think this had a nice and less-used twist. What a lot of stories lack (the actual sex) is abundant in this one, so I think it's pretty great.

I quite liked this! Celestia in a feral rut is used far too rarely, and it was quite nice to see it here!

Woah, mind, "blown"

That was amazing. Everything was just perfect.

:ajsleepy:Except the TwiLestia at the end. I don't ship it.

Why does this contain "lots of willpower"?

So... she DID imagine it all? Or is was her spunk that gave Chrysalis the power to stage the invasion?

What a twist!

I literally shouted when Chryssy turned into Twilight. I thought to myself "whelp that's the final straw" :rainbowlaugh:

Its like while within the Cocoon she seen what was yet to come... Because in the beginning Cadance and Crissy was talking and she sais (I dare say we have a bit of a history) or something to that affect...

But at the end Celestia was still at the wedding....

So yeah... intersting

So okay, this all takes place in Celestia's head, while she's sealed in the cocoon during the Royal Wedding episode...yikes. That's some pretty enticing mental manipulation. :ajsleepy:

Good read, Only thing there needs to be spaces every time a new paragraph and new character talks. Little bunched up together here mate.

You sir/madam owe me new pants!

Because Celestia held out for a loooong time.

Like 5085518 said. Its a hallucination in the cocoon. I didn't really go into it, but I figure the cocoon was preprogrammed with the outlines of the fantasy, and left Celestia's mind to fill in the details. If the invasion went wrong and Chrysalis couldn't collect Celestia's spunk directly from the cocoon, Chrysalis hoped to at least corrupt her enough that she would be drawn to the cave later and give Chrysalis a second chance at crossbreeding with alicorn DNA.


I really liked this. Had a great day today and this capped it off perfectly. Great work. Loved the ending.

sweet Celestia (pun intended) this if your first fic?!
so much hotness... so much :moustache:

please, can we have some more :pinkiecrazy:

That's fair. I love the ship because I think Twilight is the only pony positioned to work her way past Celestia's usual aloof facade. But it's also a ship that can turn creepy pretty easily, so I get that some people really hate it.

5085914 now im ashamed i didn't immediately think of that like you did lol.....

futalestia? hm dang i thought for sure this was going to be futalis , also there's another fic on this site that has this cover image already.....

Dear Celestia this was awesome, Needs that sequel soon.:pinkiehappy:


hah , great stuff , though at the end im not sure what's being implied , is celestia going to take twilight to the cave and sex her or is she just talking about being able to sex changeling twis in the cave?....

I doubt she's thought it through too much (changeling corruption is messing with her thought processes), but she may have an idea that she'll get Twilight to offer herself to save Celestia like Cadance tried to. Or else she just wants to drag Twilight into a big ol' orgy. Either way is fine, really.

Yeah, there needs to be more lust-crazed Celestia. I'm trying to do my part!

So.... Hot.... I need more.... Please, I'm begging you :fluttercry:
Do Cadance now

alright, that was pretty damn hot. and it's your first fic here, no less!

I hope to see more from you!


And done well, definitely hope to see more :pinkiesmile:

Are there no epic orgies in the hidden chambers of Canterlot Castle?

Hello, Internet. Goodbye, all of my money.

I can not duly express how much i would love to read a story by you about luna rage fucking chrysalis.
Best pony and best villain.
Has a fav.

Man, your writing is fantastic! Seriously, I was SO hooked reading this! Your description was so vivid, I felt like I was there... Well, not really, but it was just amazing nonetheless! And this being your first fanfic makes it doubly impressive. Really looking forward to seeing what else you write! Definitely a favourite and a follow from me!

Oh My God YES!
Bonus points if Luna dream rapes her into oblivion!

5089775 sigh...

Imagine a futa fucking a futa they could put each others cocks into each others pussy at the same time!!

Haven't even started reading, but you're publishing stuff on the internet, so you need to be educated:

1- Indenting is always incorrect, 100% of the time.
2- Not putting spaces between line and paragraph breaks is also always incorrect, 100% of the time.

Fix your fic before releasing it in the future. It'll do you good. And it'll make your work actually readable.


And now that I've finished reading and taken my time to think it over:

Your writing quality's not bad. Fic's positive overall, could use some tuning here and there, some extensions. Cadence just sorta vanished*, the reality of the situation kind of devolved over time*, and the ending felt weak. But your formatting just obliterates all that and makes it a joyless slog to push through.

Whether or not you think your formatting is correct for printed text (and it's categorically, demonstrably not), it's absolutely wrong for internet text. Context is king, and by comparison, you're a witless plague-ridden peasant.

Also, I see you posting. Nice way to chicken out of a direct reply, and "nice" MSPaint skillz.

*-- If either, or both, of these points was / were deliberate, in order to foreshadow the ending, then good on you. If not, it's another thing that needs fixing.


"nice" MSPaint skillz.

It was GIMP, you filthy casual!

Regarding formats, what can I say? The format you like isn't quite as universal as you seem to believe; and personally it always struck me as lazy and unaesthetic. Not to mention the needless sacrifice of the line break as a narrative tool. So that's why I don't care to use it. Others are free to do as they wish.

Beautifully well-written! This story deserves a like and a favorite and its author deserves a watch!

This either needs a sequel or a second chapter involving what happens in those caves.

This is the best clop I've read in a long time.
It's a shame there's only the one story from you.
I hope you'll at least make a sequel to it...
Heh, or give me permission to do an official sequel!


LOL, I don't have anywhere in particular to go with a sequel, so if you've got an idea, go ahead.

I've been enjoying your Chrysalis stuff.

Oh my god this is one of the best clopfics I've ever read.

I have hundreds of them stored away in my favorites box, but my god, this takes the cake.

It's super high-detailed, it's long, it's got willpower/breaking, Princess Celestia, Chrysalis, and changelings.

You literally couldn't make a better clopfic. It's absurdly good.

Now make a goddamn sequel where Chrysalis' offer of having Luna provide "tribute" is accepted some time later.

That, that I would pay money to see.

You write the most amazingly-descriptive sex; I'm kinda speechless. :rainbowlaugh:

And now there needs to be a sequel.

A sequel in which Chrysalis gets fucking DOMINATED.

I kinda wanna see celestia act on her urges in the real world.

Just throwing this out there: this is one of the best smutty fics in FimFiction, well written and with a nice balance of fetishes and plot. This might be my favorite clopfic ever, and I really think you should write more. Be it a sequel or something completely unrelated. I would love to read more of your Celestia and her "problem", I'm sure there a lot of ponies that would love to help her. Or use her to their advantage, who knows.

Agreed with Armadillo. It's a long time favorite of mine and I'd love to see you write another little something like this.

Wow just... holy fuck was this HOT! Just, so much build up, getting so close and pulling back, keeping the pacing just right, drawing it out, and then making that climax worth it. And making her breaking make sense, while still showing how damn strong willed Celestia is, and all of it, all a plan in a plan by Chryssi. Just, so glad I read this after the sequel is out cause, just fuck.. this needed it and can't wait for even more amazingly hot fute-fucking!

This isn't the greatest story in the world. This is just a Tribute.
Come on, comment section. I expected better of you. No one got there before me? Tut-tut-tut.

This is going in the favourites, as well as the sequel.
Thanks so much for sharing. I'll ensure it's appreciated many times well into the future~

Great story, bad twist.

I mean... yeah. Thus the sequel.

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