• Member Since 10th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 49 minutes ago

Twinkletail


I write poni. I am easily distracted. I like Oreos.

T

Cherry Jubilee's got almost everything she could ever want. A position of power in Dodge Junction, a handsome business-owning husband...a foal would be nice, but that's besides the point.

But one day, she discovers that her orchard's a bit short of its usual profits, and she's determined to find what the problem is and fix it.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 19 )

I can see the a-peel in this story, but wasn't that a seedy trick? I mean I know the two of them are nuts, but this is plum lower than a worm. I mean she took your cherry, the least you can do is a little grapeing in return. Soon when her tummy is raisin up and the little sprout begins to really grow, she might regret not having somepony to pear up with when the workload gets too hard.

Your 69th story!

Also, Twinkletail story = Instant read.

Go Go Cherry Jubilee!

So many fruit puns!
:ajbemused: What? No apples?

"Personally, I prefer the far-superior cherry."

That's what SHE said!

I'm not sure how to rate this fic. On the one hand, it was hilarious. I loved all the puns and jokes and I really enjoyed Cherry's back and forth with her husband (Couldn't spot anything about his name though, Any story there?)

On the other hand she just comes across as really unlikeable to me at the end of the story. There's no reason why they couldn't split the load and Sugar comes across as really inexperienced in the end. It felt to me like Cherry just being a witch for no reason other than she's greedy.

Definitely solid work, but the plot didn't sit well with me. Not gonna leave a thumb on this one cuz I can't pick.

5092788 It's an alpha mare world and Sugar just fell for the oldest trick in the book.

Yeah, I been coming back and forth wondering if it's actually fav worthy as the scene just weighs more and more on my mind. The pun-off was certainly nice though. This is just one of those 'need more than kindness' to run a town deals I guess.

Sugar needs more love. Grapes are best anyways. xD

5092821 I figured it was a case of me just being too much of a bleeding heart:twilightblush::rainbowlaugh:

Nice to know I'm not the only one. Yeah, grapes are pretty delish...but so are cherries...

5092862 Now you have me questioning myself as I'm often called that.

Nothing wrong with being able to put one's self in another pony's hooves though. And in this case I certainly feel the betrayal and a loss of a rather nice potential merger.

Profits must be pretty tight in such a small town though if the husband can't plant his seeds without worrying about the finances. :P (more likely than not probably thought his wife rather dull until she showed some of that dirty side that turns him on so much apparently. lol)

Well, this was fun. I like the idea of Dodge Junction being this kooky town run by its own rules in what equates to the Equestrian Midwest. I can't say I was particularly searching for a fic with Cherry Jubilee, but from what little we know of her, you seem to have captured her nicely.

Only thing I think could have been done better is the description of the Fruit Off. It's kind of a wall of text aside that's breaking up the story, and I feel it might have been better if bits and pieces were touched on by the characters as they went along. The showdown also didn't last very long at all, so t h at would have been a prime time for some backstory injection into dialogue.

Have a good day! :twilightsmile:

5092788
5092821

No story behind the name as far as I know. It's the fan name given to this dude here:

img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111013212328/mylittlebrony/images/d/de/Cormano.jpg

I just liked his style and decided to make him Cherry's husband. Also helps that he has a cherry cutie mark too.

As for the ending, I'll admit that it was something I accidentally stumbled upon while writing the story. It was originally going to end with Cherry and Sugar becoming friends, joining forces, and having Dodge Junction be run by two fruit families simultaneously for the first time ever. Then the current ending popped into my head, and I thought it was a good unexpected laugh ending. Cherry's a good mare at heart, but her position of power is important to her, and sometimes power corrupts :raritywink:

5092949 Aw, don't question yourself. I think you seem pretty awesome as is.

I suspect the profits aren't what's tight around there.:rainbowlaugh:

5099942 The cherries went to her head.:rainbowlaugh:

So many fruit puns. My god.

The puns... dear Celestia, the puns!

I love it!

I was not high on life when I made this review. #HYPE

Hope you enjoy it! Congratulations on getting a masterpiece medal. Good show! =]

It took me way too long to read this. I enjoyed most of it, liking the humour and the way the confrontation was handled, but like Themaskedferret I'm uneasy about the ending. I think I'd personally have preferred the ending you originally had planned, but maybe a Loganberry is just too soft a fruit. :rainbowwild:

Heh, it's funny reading this is a southern accent.

Wow, even for a MLP FiM story, the puns were all over the place.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!