Unbroken To This Day
"Why are you so mean to her?"
"I'm not mean." I was riding on Winona's back at her request during one of the outings the ponies always scheduled when Winona asked me.
"Yes, you are. You're always giving your pony a hard time when she doesn't deserve it. Half the time it's when she's doing something for you that she isn't obligated to. What is up with that?" She yapped, sounding annoyed.
"Okay, I know you don't like me, Winona. I'm not all that besotted with you, either. But that's hardly any of your business." I snapped.
"Hardly any of my business, my left paw. You're just saying that because you don't have a reason for being such a jerk." Winona yapped right back. She had stopped walking at this point.
"I do have a reason." I said quietly.
"Then why won't you tell me? I won't tell any of the others." Winona added in a gentler tone.
I was quiet for a moment before heaving a resigned sigh. I had known Winona for long enough to know that she would keep after you for the rest of your life if you were keeping a secret from her. "Do you promise?"
"Cross my heart."
I looked both left and right to make sure no one else was in our immediate vicinity before I began. I didn't really want anyone else to hear my confession of sorts. "The day my pony came to us seemed normal at first. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, all that. Then we saw a vaguely bird-shaped creature fall from the sky, waving its legs like it was a ladybug that had been tipped over. Once the butterflies caught it and helped it land we saw that it was a baby pony from the cloud city above us, a female. Me, Snowy, and Hummingway took to her the fastest, because somewhere in our hearts we knew we could trust her." I looked at Winona to gauge her reaction. "Know what I mean?"
She wagged her long tail. "Yep. Like with my pony. I chose her."
I nodded. That was exactly what it was like. "And right before the rainbow explosion, she told all of us 'I'm going to take good care of you all. I promise.' And she did. She came down to the field where we lived every day and took care of us. She talked to us, too - she told us stuff that not even her fellow ponies knew. Like how a group of foals in her class weren't very nice to her, and how someone named Rainbow Dash always defended her. How she always felt so pressured to do well because both her parents were Wonderbolts when all she wanted to do was stay here on the ground with us." I swallowed hard. I didn't like the next part.
"Then one day, she came down just like always - but she was flying funny, and there were a bunch of little cuts all over her that were still bleeding. When she managed to land, we were of course all over her asking what was wrong, and she kept assuring us that it was just some cuts and her wing just needed some rest, and asked if we minded if she used the bandages and salve she kept in an old fox den in case one of us got hurt to fix herself up. She asked if we minded when she was all banged up. Right then was when I realized just how fragile she was, like a newly-hatched baby bird. That's when I made a promise." I took a deep breath.
"A promise to take care of her like she took care of me, go wherever she might fly and give her confidence, and all the while toughen her up, so that one day she might not need me anymore. And I've kept that promise since the day I made it, and I'm going to keep it for the rest of my days."
Winona was silent. At one point she had started walking again, and now we were closer to the others. I saw my pony talking and laughing with one of her friends, the white one, and occasionally blushing. But not once did I see her stutter or shy away.
She was getting better every day, and the day was coming soon when she wouldn't need me with her anymore. But that day wasn't today. And I was okay with that.
"You're like a knight." Winona suddenly piped up.
"What exactly is a knight?" I asked.
"Sometimes my pony reads stories to the little one, where a noble and brave someone protects or rescues a princess, and usually falls in love with her. That's a knight. With story knights, it tends to be kissy love, but with you it's more like brother love. That's a real knight to me. A brother." She wagged her tail.
"And here I thought you didn't have one rational thought in that fluffy head." I chuckled. "Now hi-ho Winona, to my pony."
"There's the Angel I know and constantly reprimand." Winona trotted over to my pony and set me down, then dashed off to her home. Everyone was starting to leave by now.
"Do you want to go home, Angel?" Fluttershy murmured in my ear with a soft, delicate voice - a filly's voice. A filly's voice from long ago, reminding me that inside, the foal from the cloud city was still in there somewhere, scared and lonely and desperate to be loved.
The filly I had to take care of sometimes, just like she took care of me.
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Short, but very sweet! I liked reading this, so have an upvote and a favorite!
i like it
Justification at last!
Short, sweet, adorable
Awe so cute!
Ohmygosh this is adorable.
liked and faved.
This is far too short for my liking. Nothing is fleshed out. We're supposed to fill in the blanks with things that make the "big reveal" an emotional moment, and that made what little story you have here fall flat.
Rather poor grammar regarding speech tags, in addition to other scattered nitpicks. I'd look up dialogue punctuation in the FAQ if I were you.
And quite honestly, the characters didn't feel anything like themselves. For instance:
The only ponies Winona is in contact with on a regular basis would never say that, and I'd imagine any animal—talking hypothetically here—would imitate the speech of his owner, much the same way a child talks like his parents. It was especially detrimential because Winona is a dog. Dogs share a much closer bond with their owners than other animals.
I'm giving this a downvote for the reasons listed above. Yes, I was your first.
Best wishes and happy writing.
#ExpectingDownvotesForDownvotingAnObviouslyPerfectStoryBecauseAnythingCuteOrHeartwarmingIsToBeRegardedAsHolyAndMustBeWorshiped
There are too many d'awws in this story to count. Have a like and a favorite!
Perfect......
4815951
Well, you didn't need to be so abrasive about it.
>
NightWolf here does raise a few good points. Would you like some advice on improving your writing? I could provide some if you're interested.
4816841
Abrasive? How so?
4816859
Just so. If unexpected, your comment could rub someone the wrong way. Sure the points have backing if anyone's knowledgable to notice, but it all comes out of nowhere as though the author asked for it. The attitude of your words depicts that of a solicited review, rather than an innocent comment. Truthful, but brutal.
Aw, that was so cute
Liked and faved
I love short stories. Short but sweet, like chocolate.
This was a rather adorable story. Leaves too many questions unanswered for me to really connect as much as I want to, but I like the justification for Angel's behavior.
4816910
. . . So you're telling me I need permission to voice my thoughts on a story? That doesn't really make any sense. The comments section is for voicing your opinion or thoughts on a story. That's like saying I need permission to walk on a sidewalk.
I would hope so. I'm telling him why I downvoted his story. It would be hard to make an "innocent" comment that got the same point across. This author has only received "innocent" comments saying, "Good job." If I were to say, "This story disappointed me, and I downvoted it," the author would simply think of me as a hater, rather than someone who legitimately had comprehensible reasons for downvoting.
I am a truthful person who doesn't mince words. Is that also not allowed by your standards? Must I offer meaningless praise? Plenty of people offer praise, but I didn't like the story. I could have downvoted without saying anything, but I chose to help the author by spending some of my time to make a short list of why I was dissatisfied.
Short and sweet the very definition of a one-shot.
I liked it, finally someone who seas Angel as i do. As the tough love kind of character.
~Tobben
I'm sorry, but this story doesn't explain itself well. Or at all. Winona asks why Angel is such a jerk to Fluttershy, and Angel replies with a story of why he's protective of her. Which...doesn't actually address Winona's original question. At all.
So yeah, this story didn't really have a proper logical progression. Can't upvote it.
4819269 Tough love. That's the moral....I think.
4819269 It's tough love.
4815951 Yeah, I'm not very happy with this one. Thanks a ton for the comment.
4820017
No problem.
Stupid bunny, you know nothing about psychology! If harassing creates confidence, why after things that bullies do to her in Cloudsdale she don't hard-rock-self-confident? Only love and acceptance can create confidence! Only the one who loved, accepted and know it for sure can be confident. Only the one with the strong feeling "I'm good enough". And this feeling can't be summoned by bullying, quite the oppose - it can be only reduced by such things. The only things that can summon and hold this feeling in heart is love and acceptance. You, stupid ball of fluff, with your constant demands and whims, make her feel that she's not good enough, ergo, you REDUCE her confidence!
4818376
Not at all, but you were very blunt, and abrasive.
Which I respect. I'm personally a fan of tact, though.
I merely said you didn't need to be so abrasive. I believe I was trying to point out how tactless your comment was, but either way, it doesn't mean I was saying you're not allowed to criticize a story. That would be a horrible world to live in. I do however, think you should offer some thought to how someone might react if they weren't looking for harsh criticism. I myself embrace it, but some do not, and you cannot guarantee that all people will embrace it.
Of course, I'm not your mother, just a bystander who disagrees with your methods. This is the internet after all; ignore me if you like.
4822382 Well, I must say, when I was younger, my brother was generally a complete ass (in the nicest possible way) about half the time, and thanks to that, I am totally Impervious to insults.
Psychology is funny like that
4822802
You were not quite close, am I right?
That pic is SO. F*cking. Kawaii!
*WolfSmile* I like this story and I could actually see Fluttershy in trouble, and Angel summoning the animals to save her!!!!!
4823063 Are you kidding me? were as close as two brothers can be without being twins. were practically BBBFF's...
We just happen to argue and Insult each other a lot.
It's so fluffy!
4825732
Ok, another question: in your school days, what were you - shy victim of bullies or something else?
He's still a right cock.
4826824 People ATTEMPTED to victimise me, never really worked, like I said words just kind of roll off me.
4827282
I see. Different type of nerve system and hormone level, and, of course, different gender. You could not become like Fluttershy even with the same circumstances. Lucky you, I'm jealous.
I really see stories that portray Angel in a positive light. I'm glad I found this one. Have a like and a fav.
I like it! I've never really seen Angel portrayed like this. I've always seen him as sort of an ass, (And don't get me wrong, I love him because he's an ass) and to see him as a very noble and loving character, it's refreshing.
So, this is pretty gnarly dude!
Even in this incredible sweet story...
Angel Bunny for me still has a Boston accent
Aw... That's so cute!
sweetness
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7102672640/h9DFBA2F3/
4829166 He's an ass but only because his owner needs that so she doesn't fully live up to her name.
Paw-dor-able
I like this new perspective!
It makes sense, although I'm curious as to where the scratches came from... 