• Member Since 13th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 26th, 2017

Spell 25


I write stories about the sexual experiences of small, multicolored equines. That's literally my contribution to the world.

Sequels1

Comments ( 80 )

Well, it's a few days late, but here it is. That's four for four. The Clopmas in July exercise is finished.

Ugggghhh, this one was painful. And I don't even know why! I adore Lyrabon. I think the premise is fun. And I'm reasonably happy with the humor and characterization (though I could've done better). The biggest problem is that the original version of the story just didn't work at all. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until the day it was due. So I had to start from the beginning and completely re-work it, and by the time I was done, I was so sick of it that I didn't even bother editing it before slapping it up here.

Meh. Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself, as usual. Let me know what you guys think.

P.S. - I apologize for the scene in the restroom. I was tired when I wrote it, and feeling a little whimsical.

I love it. That picture makes me want to go out and punch a small child. But don't worry, that's my fetish.

All and all, I give this a rating of: "Better than me". Good work.

This is SO me and my wife. :)

“What in Tartarus are you smiling about?” Bon Bon growled.
“You haven’t asked me to stop.”

I sniggered so hard. Great fun lil story, thanks for sharing!

This felt like an episode of a mature sitcom... nicely done!

This made me laugh a few times- I'm a fan of mischevious Lyra, and when I read the description, I thought what the hay if it is clop, this'll be good.
It was.

Why apologise for the restroom scene? It was brilliant! All of this was. Lyra's always a sneaky mare like this, and somehow, this seems like the sort of thing she'd do.

I'll admit, when I first read the description, I thought it would have been futa and out in the park or sometihng. Gotta say, I was surprised.

Love this. You & tittysparkles are my favorite writers.






Well, exept myself :moustache:

*Slap claps* Never read a story like this before. It was, ok.

I like to think it was Sweetie Drops on the other side of the mirror.

I would question why Lyra keeps a marker in the couch, but you know, Lyra.

I smell a feature

What a wonderful, funny as hell story!

This story makes me want to see a Lyra and Bon Bon sitcom. I give it 50 out of 10.

Oh, dear. I think that I've found the first story to add to my favorites.

Amusing, to a degree. I did enjoy the scene in the bathroom the most, but honestly a thought that popped up a few times was "Wow, Lyra's kind of an asshole.":trollestia:

Pretty good overall, but this felt more like an Octavia and Vinyl fic than a Bon-Bon and Lyra one. Eh, that's probably just me though.

Lyra should have used the magic at the end while a Bonnie was sleeping. :pinkiehappy:

At that exact moment, the maître d’ passed, escorting another couple to a chair. The couple turned and gaped at Bon Bon as she continued to writhe in ecstasy.

You do realize that you missed the perfect opportunity to steal a joke from When Harry Met Sally here, right? :rainbowlaugh:

I got another story idea for you but it's complicated.

The restaurant scene reminded me of this:

4768004

Yes you're being too hard on yourself *says the guy who's always hard on himself*

Posting this before editing was a little problem, just a "little" problem. The writing is good but a few simple mistakes here and there broke the immersion, but after getting past those I was quickly re-immersed up to the point I ran into another which was always a paragraph or two away–aaaand breathe.

Other than that this was fantastic read and compared to the third person shit I write it's far better than what I can do. Now excuse me while I return to the realms of 1st person narrative.

4771642

"I'll have what she's having."

See 4771143's video, below. :pinkiehappy:

4771642 The joke is, "I'll have what she's having!" It's basically the exact same set up, minus the actual orgasms. And . . . y'know . . . the technicolored ponies.

“Howdy,” Lyra said, tipping her hat ever so slightly.

M'lady.

Comment posted by SudokuBrony deleted Jul 30th, 2014

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

This part made me die laughing:

“Bonnie?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna start magicking up your cooch.”

“Wha—?”

HILARIOUS!

That ending was evil. :rainbowlaugh:

wow thats was so funny i nearly couldn't finsh reading it good job. Oh such a lovly story anyways peace. :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Mortifying butt fun.
ÔuÔ

:rainbowlaugh: I love it! :raritywink: couldn't stop laughing most of the time! I thank you for this hilarious reading! :scootangel:

Am I the only one who hears the servant/reservation guy in Spy's voice?

Wow! I hadn't expected this one to do so well. I guess I should just learn to chill and have a smidgen of confidence for once. Thank you all for your time and feedback.



4770411
4771143

That actually did occur to me as I was writing it, and I toyed with the idea of including a reference. Ultimately I decided against it, for reasons that are a little hazy to me now (like I said, I was pretty tired when I wrote the second half of this). Maybe I thought it would be a little too on the nose. Now I wish I'd done it. :raritydespair:

But it’s nothing to fret over, Anus Douche.”

“That’s Amuse Bouche,” he corrected with a frown.

“Right. That too.”

:rainbowlaugh:

And then the restaurant had to burn the chair.

“Bonnie?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna start magicking up your cooch.”

“Wha—?”

[...] Without warning Bon Bon.

I'm calling bull-crap on this false advertising! Bull-crap and shenanigans, I say!

Seriously though, I loved this story. And that bathroom scene was actually really funny and just - added something to the story that I can't quite put a finger on.

Keep up the good work!

4773579 You're welcome and great story! :pinkiehappy:

This is hilarious, good job.

That final line :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

so much fucking fun to read.
and eerily reminiscent of several conversations and oddly things me and my wife have done.
A fucking plus for the best lyra/bon bon.

4776826

so much fucking fun to read.

Don't you have a wife... and child...

and eerily reminiscent of several conversations and oddly things me and my wife have done

I hope I never patron a restaurant you guys frequent.:rainbowderp:

-Ebony

4777160 two children,7 restaurants kicked out of two of them and don't knock it till you try it. having an audience is a blast and unknowing audiences is even better. and no the kids aren't there for the fun.
best of all no presses charged.

4775974 whelp if Dean approves I know it's great :ajsmug:

Lyra is the kinkiest marefriend EVER! Love that girl.:moustache:

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