> Bon the Miffy > by Spell 25 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Bon the Miffy > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- To the untrained eye, it looked like any normal Ponyvillean residence. If there was such a thing, of course. Ponyville, as it is well known, attracts more than its share of oddness. But in the basement of this particular house, the oddest oddness of all found a tapestry upon which to inflict the full extent of her oddity. From an old record player in the corner issued the sound of a vintage Spike Pones record—a colorful rendition of the William Tail Overture. The music mingled with whirls of incense smoke in the air, the smell conjuring in the mind images of the sweatiest corner of an opium den. A bookshelf on one wall held thrice as many books as it was designed to—stacked on top of each other and in front of each other and crammed in every available space until the wood of the shelves bowed under their weight. Beside the shelves, a lyre sat on its stand, and next to that, a variety of half-completed gadgets and inventions of indiscernible purpose. Across the room, a desk was buried under piles of notes and compositions and still more books. There was but one window in the basement, through which late afternoon sunlight fought its way through dingy panes of glass and fell on a ratty old recliner. And in this recliner sat a lime-green unicorn. Lyra turned a page of the book she was reading and blushed. A giggle escaped her throat, though it had a more maniacal quality than was strictly appropriate for a giggle, briefly lending her grotto the feel of a mad scientist’s lab. Finally, she closed the book and eyed its cover. 101 Spells for the Hornier-Than-Usual Unicorn, its title read. “Heh. And Bon Bon said going to that yard sale was a waste of time,” she said through a grin. “I bet she’ll sing a different tune when I use some of these spells on her in bed tonight. Maybe even multiple tunes!” She giggled, giving herself a mental high-five. She gave a start when a series of knocks issued from the door to her basement. She hurriedly shuffled the book into a stack of others on the tray by her chair and switched off the record player with her magic. “Enter, if you dare!” she sang. She heard the door open, followed by the creak-cluck of hooves descending the stairs. Finally, Bon Bon stepped into view, only to freeze at the sight of the widely grinning unicorn sitting suspiciously in her chair with her hooves on her lap. She squinted at Lyra. “What are you up to?” “Whatever do you mean?” Bon Bon’s eyebrow hitched up her forehead a little. “You know what? Never mind. I just wanted to ask you what you wanted to do for dinner.” “Dinner? Already?” She looked across the basement at the monstrous grandfather clock at the far side. “Well I’ll be.” She looked back at her marefriend. “Why don’t we just heat up that leftover stew from yesterday? It’s always even better the next day.” “Leftovers?” Bon Bon said flatly. “Well, why not?” Lyra asked. An awkward silence consumed the basement. Finally, Bon Bon turned and made her way back to the stairs. “Alright,” she muttered. Lyra watched her for a few steps, a frown playing at her lips. “Hey, Bon Bon?” The earth pony stopped, but didn’t turn around. “Yeah?” “Are you alright?” Lyra asked, fidgeting in her seat. “You’ve been kind of… well, out of it, today.” “Picked up on that, did you?” Bon Bon replied, looking over her shoulder. Lyra’s ears drooped, and Bon Bon turned to face her. “Lyra, do you know what day it is?” “Um… Thursday, right?” Bon Bon’s features drooped ever so slightly. “You really don’t know, do you?” “Kn-know what?” “Lyra, it’s my birthday.” Lyra froze at once. Her eyes darted back and forth in their sockets, as if searching for a calendar in her mind. Finally, she started to chuckle tentatively. “H-heh, good one, Bonnie. You had me going there for a second.” Bon Bon’s scowl deepened, and it effectively strangled Lyra’s attempt at laughter. “Y-you’re not kidding?” Lyra asked in a tiny, tiny voice. “Does it look like I’m kidding?” Bon Bon replied, pointing at her face, which appeared to contain about as much mirth as a desert contains rainfall. Lyra felt her insides freeze solid. “Bu—… B-b-but, how… h-how could I have forgotten? Surely I… I would’ve made a mention of it on my notepad!” For confirmation, Lyra turned to her ‘notepad’, which was really just a fancy word for her left foreleg, and read what had been scribbled there in what appeared to be marker. 1. Eggs. We must have eggs. 2. How do wicker? 3. Don’t forget Bonnie’s birthday!! 4. Have a nice week! :3 “Oh, heck…” She looked back at Bon Bon with an apologetic grimace. Bon Bon merely rolled her eyes, trotting over to Lyra’s desk and embarking on another push of her weary, years-long campaign to organize it. “I’m not an excitable little filly anymore, Lyra,” she said. “I don’t need some big party or anything fancy. But a ‘Happy birthday, sweetie!’ would have been nice. Something—even just to show that you remembered and care.” “Of course I care!” Lyra exclaimed, getting up from her chair and placing a hoof on Bon Bon’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” “I don’t know,” Bon Bon said with a sigh. “I thought maybe you were planning a surprise or something. I know you, Lyra. You never do anything half-way. You either make a big spectacle of something, or you forget it altogether. I guess I’d just rather have had the former than the latter.” She turned and met Lyra’s expression with her ears laid back. “Part of me feels silly for getting my feelings. I know it’s just another day, really. In the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty small. But…” She gave a frustrated huff. “You get so passionate about so many things. You discover some new topic, and it just sweeps you along on these flights of fancy. I… Sometimes I just feel like I’m not as important to you as those things.” Lyra opened her mouth to protest, only for Bon Bon’s hoof to silence her. “I know,” Bon Bon assured her. “I know that’s wrong. I know you do love me and care about me. And sometimes, you can be so sweet and romantic. But other times… you don’t do such a good job of showing me. And I… I guess I need to be reminded sometimes.” Before Bon Bon knew it, she was the recipient of a ferocious hug. “I’m so, so sorry, sweetie,” Lyra whispered into her marefriend’s shoulder. “And you’re right: Maybe I need to show you that more often that I care.” She squeezed even tighter. “I promise, you are absolutely, unquestionably the most important thing in my life. I… I’ll prove it to you! I’ll burn everything in this basement if that’s what it takes!” Bon Bon gave a snort, but returned the hug. “There’s no need to be so dramatic, love. I’m not saying I’m the only thing you should care about. Besides, I’m not sure burning all this stuff is such a good idea. Celestia knows what the fumes would do to the atmosphere.” “But… but how could I have forgotten like that?! I must be the stupidest pony in town!” “You’re not stupid, Lyra.” She patted the unicorn’s back. “You just act like it sometimes.” It was Lyra’s turn to snort. She pulled out of the hug, resting her forehead against Bon Bon’s. “You do know that I love you, right? More than anything?” “I do,” Bon Bon whispered, meeting Lyra’s eyes. “For all your… well, Lyra-ness, you have such a good heart. I know you’d never knowingly hurt me. I just wish you wouldn’t do it un-knowingly.” “I’m really sorry, Bonnie. I promise, I’ll make it up to you.” Bon Bon sighed. “You don’t have to do anything special. Just… just try to be a little more thoughtful, okay?” “Pffft! Forget that! We totally should do something special!” “Oh?” “Yeah! You know what? Let’s scrap the leftover-stew idea. We should go out for dinner! Something romantic.” “That sounds wonderful, love,” Bon Bon said with a tender smile. “I know, right? In fact, let’s go to that new Prench place!” Bon Bon’s eyes widened. “Ooh, I’ve heard that place is really good! Let’s do that!” “Well, alright!” Bon Bon turned and examined the massive clock. “We ought to start getting ready in that case. I’ll go get myself cleaned up.” “Okay. Let me just take care of a few things down here, and I’ll be right up.” With a smile and a nod, Bon Bon turned to head up the stairs. Lyra watched her for a few steps, biting her lip Then: “Hey, Bon Bon?” “Hmm?” She looked over her shoulder. “We’re… good? You and me?” Bon Bon have an exaggerated roll of her eyes, though the effect was marred by a smile. “Yes, Lyra. You’re still not one-hundred percent forgiven yet, but we’re good.” Lyra smiled, and Bon Bon continued up the stairs. Once Bon Bon was gone, Lyra collapsed in her recliner with a groan. She gave her ‘notepad’ a frown. “I swear, sometimes I wonder if writing myself just is even worth it.” She sat there for a minute, listening to the floorboards overhead creaking as Bon Bon walked around, getting ready. “Not a hundred-percent forgiven yet, huh?” She smirked into the confines of her basement. “Well, we’ll just see about that. The night is still young, after all. I’ve really got to show her that I care. But how…?” She idly glanced to her side, and just happened to catch a glimpse of the naughty spell book she’d been reading before. Slowly, the corners of her mouth started to twitch upwards, her face blossoming into a wide, wide smile. She reached over and pulled the book out of the stack and opened it, her smiling somehow widening even more as she looked through its pages. Finally, she came to a stop on one page in particular. “That’s it,” she said, looking down at the spell on the page. “It’s perfect. It’ll be a fun surprise for her, and it’ll show her that she’s the only thing on my mind tonight.” She spent a few minutes look over the spell, and once she was sure she had it down, she got up and made for the stairs. About half-way across her basement, she stopped in mid-step, turning her eyes upward to look at her own horn. “I’ll have to do something to hide my horn-glow, though…” The door of the restaurant opened, and the maître d’ looked up, watching as two mares stepped into the establishment. One was an earth pony, looking ravishing in a sleek, black dress, which was perfectly accentuated by a pair of sapphire earrings and a tasteful touch of make-up. The other was a mint green pony wearing a simple bow tie and an oversized top hat. “Bonsoir, madams,” the stallion said in an obviously fake Prench accent. “Howdy,” Lyra said, tipping her hat ever so slightly. “Table for two, please.” “Oh, I see. Do you have a reservation?” The two mares craned their necks to look into the restaurant, finding it only half-filled. “Uh… no?” Lyra replied. “Oh, well… I’ll see what I can do.” He made a show of looking through his book. “Yes, I think I can squeeze you in.” Lyra raised an eyebrow. “Thanks?” “But of course. Right this way, if you please.” He led them to an empty table—one of several, Lyra noticed—and passed them menus once they were seated. “Would you like me to take your… er, hat, Madame?” Lyra’s eyes widened. “No!” she said, holding the hat onto her skull and causing a number of their fellow diners to look their way. Bon Bon blushed a little, then said to the maître d’: “Just humor her.” “As you wish, madams. Your waiter will be with you shortly.” With a slightly haughty sniff, he turned and made his way back to the front. “Lyra, would you just try to be normal please?” Bon Bon said under her breath. “Sorry, Bonnie…” Bon Bon smiled. “It’s alright, love.” Trying to get the romantic evening back on track, she picked up her menu and began looking through it. “Hmm, let’s see what sounds good.” Lyra picked up her menu as well, but she looked over the top of it at Bon Bon, watching as her marefriend looked over the options. Off to a rocky start, she thought. Maybe I ought to get to work. She sent a stream of magic into her horn, obscured by her top hat. She reached out with it, focusing her magic between her marefriend’s legs, zeroing in on her target. With a grin that was hidden by the menu in front of her, she cast the spell, giving Bon Bon’s slit a gentle stroke. Across the table, there was a sharp intake of air through Bon Bon’s nostrils, bordering on a gasp. She straightened in her seat, glancing down between her legs with a tiny blush. She fidgeted a little. “I must be hungrier than I thought,” she muttered to herself. “What was that, sweetie?” Lyra asked with an innocent blink. “Oh, um… nothing.” She turned her attention back to the menu, shrugging off the tiny sensation between her legs. Lyra’s smile widened. Casting the spell again, she really worked it into Bon Bon’s sex this time. “Eep!” Bon Bon’s hunched forward in her seat this time, her vision going bleary as the same sensation as before, stronger now, surged between her legs, sending sparking tendrils of pleasure through her body. It lasted for a few delirious seconds, and then let up. Bon Bon tried not to pant, shifting in her seat. Her blush deepened as she realized she was starting to get wet, and she looked down on her own body as if it were a wild animal. “You alright, Bonnie?” She gave a start. “O-oh… uh, yes! Of course! I just… I can’t decide on what to have.” She raised her menu even higher to cover the redness in her face. Lyra fought off a giggle, then gave a start of her own when she noticed a sudden presence at their table. She whipped her head to look, finding a lanky unicorn with a pencil mustache and wearing a jacket and tie standing beside them. “Welcome, Madame and… Madame.” He shook his head and levitated a notepad. “My name is Amuse Bouche, and I will be serving you this evening. Are you ready to order?” “Oh! Uh…” Bon Bon looked at her menu frantically, having been distracted from it previously. “Er, Lyra, you order first.” Lyra, thrust into the headlights, simply shrugged the choice off and decided to leave her meal to fate. Without looking, she pointed at something on the menu with her hoof. “I’ll have that.” “Excellent choice.” He wrote it down, and turned to Bon Bon. “And for you, miss?” By now, Bon Bon had managed to compose herself from the mysterious onslaught of pleasure. “A-alright, well… I suppose I’ll have—” It was around this instant that Lyra made a decision. Maybe she was just feeling mischievous. Maybe it’s more that she was drunk with her newfound power to pleasure her marefriend so easily. Or maybe it’s just because Lyra is Lyra, and Lyras a wont to do such things. But for whatever reason, she sent another pulse of magic into her horn. “—the mor— Ah!” Bon Bon’s body jolted, her eyes slamming shut as she lowered her head nearly to the table and her hind hooves curled under her chair. She bit her lip to cut off a scream as the most wonderful fire in the world exploded through her lower abdomen like napalm. “Oh, f-f-fuck…” she whispered. The waiter, clearly concerned, took a step toward her. “A-are you alright, ma’am?” Lyra didn’t let the spell up as Bon Bon attempted to reply. “Y-yes, I’m… f—ah!—fine.” She looked at the waiter with a twitching expression, her body was wracked with tiny spasms. “I’ll h-have the… the m-m-m-morel bisque—Ooooooooohh! And, the… the—oh, Celestia almighty—the ch-cheese plate on the side.” She passed the waiter her menu with a trembling foreleg and averted her eyes, trying to suppress a moan with only moderate success. The waiter took the menu, then looked back to Lyra with a raised eyebrow. “And a couple of glasses of wine, too,” was all Lyra said, hoofing him her own menu. “As you… wish.” With one final worried glance in Bon Bon’s direction, he shuffled off. Lyra looked over at her marefriend. She could tell Bon Bon was close to the edge from her magical stimulation spell, so, with a smirk, she let the spell drop. Bon Bon’s body ceased its wriggling, though it continued to twitch slightly from its now-aroused state. Bon Bon looked own at herself with something like relief, though Lyra thought she saw a touch of disappointment as well. “You okay, Bonnie? You don’t look so well.” Bon Bon met the unicorn’s eyes, her face bright red. A bead of sweat trailed down her temple. “Y-yes, love. I just…” Lyra activated her horn, slamming the spell into her with everything she had. Instantly, Bon Bon’s body seized, her back arching as an orgasm tore through her. Her eyes tried to roll back in their sockets, and she had to bite her lip nearly to the point of bleeding to keep from shrieking into the quiet restaurant. By now, some of their fellow diners had been alerted to the goings-on, watching mostly in concern and confusion—though Lyra thought she caught a knowing look on of the mares’ faces. Finally, sensing that Bon Bon’s orgasm had run its course, Lyra dropped the spell, and Bon Bon practically slumped across her side of the table. Bon Bon raised her head, looking at Lyra and all the ponies looking in their direction. With a mortified expression on her face, she said, “I-I’ll be right back,” and scrambled off toward the little filly’s room. Lyra watched her go, smug satisfaction having to struggle against a niggling worry that she might have taken things too far. It was around that time that the waiter return with a basket of bread and two glasses of wine held in his magic. “Are you certain she is alright?” he asked Lyra. “She hasn’t eaten anything yet, has she?” “No, she’s fine,” Lyra assured him. “It’s not a food poisoning thing, if that’s what you’re worried about. She just… uh… she has… a condition. Yeah! She’s just having a flare up. But it’s nothing to fret over, Anus Douche.” “That’s Amuse Bouche,” he corrected with a frown. “Right. That too.” He happened to glance down at Bon Bon’s vacated seat, noticing a damp patch in the center. He gave a discreet sniff, if only to determine the nature of the liquid. Then, with a blush, he scurried away from the table. Lyra watched him go with a raised eyebrow, then shrugged it off and took a sip of her wine. Bon Bon splashed some cold water in her face, then looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. “What the hay was that?” she asked. “Do you care?” her reflection replied. “You just had an amazing orgasm!” “Yeah, in public!” she protested. “Oh, come on. You know that only made it better.” “Yes, well… every cloud, I suppose.” She looked down at her body. “At least it’s stopped.” “Oh, yes. Those pesky spontaneous orgasms are such a bother,” the reflection said sarcastically. “Woe is us.” “Was it, though? Just a spontaneous orgasm?” “What else could it have been?” “I don’t know. I just… it felt like it was something happening to me. Like, something tangible. Something definite. Like…” Suddenly, she frozen, her eyes widening. Her reflection raised its eyebrow. “What is it?” “Why that little turd…” “Ahem,” came a new voice. Bon Bon froze, looking to the bathroom door. There, another mare was standing, watching her. “Sorry to interrupt?” the mare said with a nervous smile. With a blush, Bon Bon said, “Excuse me,” and darted past the mare and out of the bathroom. The mare watched her go, then shrugged and took a step into the bathroom, only to freeze when Bon Bon’s reflection waved at her from the mirror. The mare’s eye twitched. Bon Bon stormed back to the her seat and sat down, wincing slightly from the moist spot on her chair before re-setting her face in a mild frown. “Hey, Bonnie,” Lyra said. “You have to drop a deuce?” Bon Bon’s frown deepened. “No, as a matter of fact. I had to go and compose myself.” She looked back and forth, then continued in a whisper. “I just had an orgasm!” “Well, good for you! Though, you could’ve let me know.” Lyra gave her a wink. “We’ve could’ve gone to the bathroom together and had a quickie.” “No, you nincompoop!” she whispered. “I had an orgasm right here in this chair.” Lyra gave her an angelic expression. “You did?” “Yes. And you know what I think?” “What’s that?” “I think—” “Dinner is served, madams!” their waiter said, setting two platters down in front of them. Bon Bon bit her words off, though she continued to glare across the table at her marefriend. The waiter lifted the plate covers in his magic, revealing their meals. Bon Bon couldn’t help but salivate at the sight of her bisque. Lyra, however, merely squinted at her plate. “What in Discord’s outhouse is that?!” she asked, sweeping a hoof in the general direction of her plate. “That’s the escargot you ordered, Madame,” Amuse replied patiently. “It’s an old griffin delicacy that has become quite the staple of Prench cuisine.” “Yeah, but… what is it?” “Why, snails, of course.” “S-snails?” Lyra’s pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks, looking down at her plate. Bon Bon, her annoyance temporarily forgotten, said, “Well, I can understand griffins eating that, but… well, you do realize ponies are normally herbivores, yes?” “Obviously, Madame. But it is harmless enough in moderate amounts. Such foods may not be widely consumed in Equestria, but I suppose Prance is a little less uptight about such things.” “Well, there’s a sentence nopony’s ever heard before,” Bon Bon muttered. “What was that?” “Oh, n-nothing!” “I’ll try it,” Lyra interrupted with a decisive nod. “Carpet disco, and all that.” With a victorious smirk in Bon Bon’s direction, the waiter gave a tiny bow and left them to their meals. “So, what was it you were saying, Bonnie?” Lyra said, popping a snail into her mouth and chewing it experimentally, her face brightening into an expression of pleasant surprise. “Hmm? Oh! Yes, of course!” She picked up her spoon in the crook of a hoof and gave her bisque a sip, humming in satisfaction at the creamy taste. After swallowing, she asked, “It was you, wasn’t it?” Lyra tried another one, this time dipping it in butter sauce. “Me, what?” “That gave me an orgasm.” “I’d like to think I’ve given you many orgasms over the years, Bons.” “No, I mean to—” “Thousands and thousands and thousands of them, in all likelihood.” “I mean tonight!” Bon Bon growled, earning a glance or two from neighboring diners. Lyra merely met Bon Bon’s eyes and gave her a wink. Bon Bon gave a small gasp. “It was you!” She shook her head, then smeared a dab of St. Andre onto a cracker and ate it. “Honestly, I don’t know whether I should be relieved or annoyed.” Lyra looked up her ears folding back just under the brim of her top hat. “You… you didn’t enjoy it?” Bon Bon rolled her eyes. “Okay, yes, I did enjoy it. But dayum, girl, give me some warning before you start magicking up my cooch!” “Bonnie?” “Yeah?” “I’m gonna start magicking up your cooch.” “Wha—?” Lyra activated her horn yet again, still hidden under her top hat. She began gently working Bon Bon’s pussy with her magic, massaging it, never so much that it was overpowering. Bon Bon nearly choked on the sip of bisque she’d just taken. She sputtered briefly, then said under her breath: “Lyraaaaaaaaa-ah! Were y-you dropped on your head as… a f-f-foal?!” “Twice,” she replied with a happy grin. “Why?” “Well…” Bon Bon closed her eyes and let out a restrained moan, one of her hind legs spasming under the table. “Celestia, that’s good.” She cleared her throat and tried to focus. “What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?” “Well, I felt super bad for forgetting your birthday, so I decided to get you a present.” Bon Bon looked at her flatly, despite the occasional facial twitch. “A present?” “Uh-huh. And I thought this would be a fun one.” “P-pleasuring me in a fancy restaurant.” “Yep!” Lyra chirped. “But—oooooh yeah, right there—wh-where did you even l-learn this?” “In a book I got at a yard sale.” Bon Bon facehoofed—though that was partly to cover her face as a particular strong wave of convulsions passed over it. She finally looked at Lyra again, trying to direct as much attention as possible away from the glorious feeling between her legs. “But wh-why in pubbbblic? Do y-you have any—hah!—idea how embarrassing this could potentially be if anypony found out what we were doing?” Lyra merely smiled at her, continuing to stroke Bon Bon’s sex with her magic. “What in Tartarus are you smiling about?” Bon Bon growled. “You haven’t asked me to stop.” Bon Bon’s mouth closed with a clack of teeth, and her blush glowed even brighter. “Well… maybe I don’t want you to stop…” Lyra’s grin widened, and she sent a fresh spike of magic into her horn, slamming it into Bon Bon’s vagina with everything she had. She watched as Bon Bon’s body was jolted by a violent orgasm. Bon Bon leaned down over the table and moaned loudly, all her composure eroded away. Out of the corner of her eye, Lyra saw that everypony else in the restaurant had turned to watch, and that only caused her to continue her onslaught. Through her connection to her marefriend’s nervous system, she could feel one orgasm give way to another, and Bon Bon’s moan turned into something like a whinny. At that exact moment, the maître d’ passed, escorting another couple to a chair. The couple turned and gaped at Bon Bon as she continued to writhe in ecstasy. Bon Bon merely looked up at them, blushing, continuing to orgasm as she said, “Th-the bisque is so-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoooooooooooo g-good!” In a hurry, the couple turned and darted out of the restaurant. The maître d’ watched them go, then turned a scowl in Lyra and Bon Bon’s direction. Lyra finally let the spell drop, wincing at the stallion as Bon Bon panted and twitched on the other side of the table. “Uh…” Lyra said. “Check please?” The front door of Lyra and Bon Bon’s house opened, and the mares stumbled in, kissing and touching each other all the way to couch before collapsing on it. They kissed passionately for a moment, their tongues meeting like the old friends they were, and then came up for air. “Okay, I’ll admit it,” Bon Bon said, trying without success to stifle a smile as she traced circles in Lyra’s chest fuzz. “That was fun. Mortifying—but fun.” “It was the least I could do, after forgetting your birthday,” Lyra replied, her ears folding back a little. “I’m glad you had fun.” She bit her lip for a moment. “Might you wanna do stuff like that in the future?” “Maybe. Just… could you let me know ahead of time?” Lyra giggled. “I can do that.” Bon Bon leaned down to peck Lyra’s nose, then patted her head and got up from the sofa. “Well, goodnight.” She started making her way up to the bedroom. “Oh… um… well, alright. I’ll be up in a second.” “No you won’t.” “… I won’t?” “Nope. You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.” Lyra’s eyes widened. “What?!” “That should about make us even for you forgetting my birthday. Don’t think you can just throw some spells around and wipe the slate clean.” “But… but… I thought we were gonna have sex!” Bon Bon paused at the top of the stairs, seeming to mull that over. “Mmm, no. I think I’m all set in that department, thanks to you.” “But... what about me?! Don't I get a turn? I'm really, really horny!” Lyra whined. “Well, why don’t you just use some of your new ‘spells’,” Bon Bon replied sweetly, making air-quotes with her hooves. “Thanks for a fun night, Lyra.” She turned, walked into their bedroom, and closed the door behind her. Lyra sat there for some time without moving, stunned at the turn of events. Then, she grabbed a nearby throw pillow off the couch, buried her face into it, and screamed. Her frustration vented, she looked down at her ready-and-willing marehood with a sigh. “And everypony says I’m the crazy one,” she muttered. She absently reached into the couch cushions, fishing around amongst lint and loose bits until she finally found the marker she kept there. Pulling the cap off with her teeth, she raised her left foreleg and wrote: 1. Buy a calendar for the basement!!!