- Member Since 9th Apr, 2013
- offline last seen 5 hours ago
Naughty_Ranko
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Naughty_Ranko
Joined 9th Apr, 2013 ·
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Wait a Princest-Story and Cadence isn't feat. on the Chars list... hope that was just an overlook (cause I gonna read the Story later)
4560657
Well, Cadence has a cameo at the beginning, but she's not in on the action as it were. That's why I left her character tag off for now.
4560669
Well since I haven't read the Story yet I asume that Cadence don't need to do it cause she already had done it when she became an Alicorn (that literaly screams Prequel)
This story was incredibly hot, and made me laugh out loud at two separate points.
Laughed uproariously here. Magic boobs!
The second was that last line.
4560657
I asked only for Celestia and Luna here. I might bring in Cadence when I commission more chapters assuming Ranko is willing.
So... Friendship is Magic. And magic is Boobs.
Seems Legit.
4560863 friendship is boobs
last line cracked me up
No futa? Then this would be the first princest clopfic without futa. This is a historic moment!
No, I believe the proper term to use in this situation would be:
"Oh shit."
I know how they deal with the situation of the lack of illusion spell.
First, wait and see if anything comes of it. Meanwhile, make a discrete deal with Discord.
If the matter comes to a head, pin it on Discord as him pulling a prank on the Princesses, not knowing yet how far is too far for a harmless prank. In exchange for him taking the fall for this, they agree to give him a private reward.
...only for it to be his participation in another round of 'initiation'.
4561646
This was something. I don't clop, I mainly write war stories along with a few that end in court proceedings but I'll admit, I liked this.
Got to love those brain fart moments....I can see the headlines now
Wow
Here's their faces
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2754-132899096944.jpg
I can't believe the shit-eating grin Celestia has on her face in dat cover art!
Surprisingly nice. I'm usually not at all for the dom/sub thing, but I think what made it okay for me now is that you had Celestia being kind and comforting to balance out Luna playing the dominating one. That was a nice touch and very much appreciated. Would have been nicer without dom/sub at all, but that's just a personal preference. I do, however, hope that nopony heard them because that would be very cruel and unfair to Twilight.
She agreed to it, yes, but let's not forget that it's mostly because Celestia and Luna asked and Twilight simply isn't the pony to refuse them. She might not have minded being heard in the heat of the moment, but, it was still not truly her choice as that part of the play was kind-of forced on her. If that had any consequences in the way of being seen or publically embarassed because of an oversight by Celestia and Luna, that would be very cruel and give this whole things a very sour taste. You would expect Celestia and Luna to double check such things.
me thinks Cadance thought about it
Now that we know what she was reading back then, it makes the Fact that this Book is a precious Memory for her even funnier (and kinda fucked up considering that she almost gave it to a little Filly in "Trade Ya")
anyone else notice the randomly thumbed down comments that don't need to be thumbed down?
Commences reading of story
lol suspence ending sooooo scary!!!!!
I hope there is a sequel to this!
4565446
Already have two more chapters in mind to commission
Yeah... I was gonna say that...... You got ss2sonic's image... the best anime painter in the world... Oh man...
4562061
I can't see that to be honest. Or rather I can't see Discord wasting that idea of them owing him on something so normal.
4564421
I have a character in mind to have heard them but rest assured it's not someone who could cause real problems... They might tease the three to no end but nothing malicious.
4565996
4564245
Well, it's not like the image was done especially for this story. I just really like his art and this one happened to the fit the story perfectly, especially with the facial expressions.
4566055 I, actually haven't read this yet, it's just sitting in my read later list
4564421
Any good story needs conflict, even a clopfic. So putting Celestia and Luna at odds as a benevolent mistress and a harshed dominatrix seemed to serve that purpose quite well.
We'll see how their little faux pas affects the future of the story, but I doubt the monarchy is gonna fall because of it.
4566055 I'll like it cause cover art
4561496
It is, isn't it? Can't take the full credit, though. I posted the question to Obsidian whether he wanted futa or strap-ons. I was prepared to go either way in the writing process.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-08WnbnuvBAk/Txdy2_X4NzI/AAAAAAAAAUY/cKEd8rguEIM/s1600/choose_wisely.jpg
He chose wisely.
4566055
I see a trollestia in there, you're kidding in somewhere
4566079
I'm not worried about the monarchy as much as I am for Twilight as a person. To have her suffer public humiliation for something that was never meant to be and because of a gross oversight by Celestia and Luna (seriously, neither of them bothered to double check?) would simply be too cruel. "Initiation" is all good as long as it is all fun and games and causes no harm, but the moment it does this loses all sense of some harmless clop fun and becomes something that is needlessly cruel. Especially to someone as demure and kind as Twilight. Aside from the personal pain, there would also be the fact that the new Princess is revealed to be the older ones' pet/slut on the exact same day as her coronation. It would basically mean turning Twilight's greatest day into her worst one, as she'd start her new career by becoming a public laughingstock.
So, yeah, I pray that doesn't happen. You have something that surprised me with its tenderness here and made me like it against all my expectations. Don't ruin it by giving it such a cruel aftertaste. It's fine if played for laughs and a comedic end note, but turning it into something with real consequences would be too much and, for what I feel, ruin the spirit of the story.
Something like what 4566032 opts, with them being overheard or seen leading to some non-malicious, playful teasing (probably by somepony who knows them well) would be perfectly fine, though.
Not that I'm trying to tell you what to do, given that it's your story, but as part of your audience, I think I can still give you my opinion on the story and its potential future.
4566151
I always value the opinion of my readers and in this case I happen to fully agree with you. I don't want to drive this story into some dark corner. This story is meant to be fun and Twilight not a victim, but a willing participant.
I've always been of the opinion that sex should be fun. If you're not having fun, then you're not doing it right. That is true for dom/sub play as much as any other way to do it.
The ending I wrote wasn't really about 'exposing' them, but the possibility of being exposed. Cause you have to admit, Twilight's comedic potential is the highest, when she's freaking out about something. Even, or perhaps especially, if the thing to be concerned about is entirely in her mind.
4566151
Given that I'm the one commissioning the story I know the direction I'd want it to go; obviously I don't want to put a weight on Ranko and limit her at every turn but I agree that it should remain fun and lighthearted.
So yeah, the character who overhead them isn't going to cause any trouble, though they won't let any of them live it down, especially not Luna.
Wow-wee. Steamy.
DO you know the effects you have on your readers?
Molestias still at it
Oww. You know that hurts, right? Even just rubbing it before the right time is too much. Teeth are not directly pleasurable (although masochists would certainly enjoy yelling from the consequent pain).
Really? Because:
You've shown me nothing of the sort. Where's the beef? Show me the sensations of pleasure. Don't just tell me afterwards that "oh, it was awesome."
And then I cracked up.
This story's a bit of a mixed bag:
-The grammar and spelling are solid, I'm giving that at least a B+ on the first pass.
-The character interaction is fairly good, and the scenes cover a fair number of fetishes without actually being likely to cause offense, which is good as well.
-The story is... well, typical porn plot, and it jumps into the clop pretty directly, so whatever.
-However, you write with little description of female anatomy or experiences of pleasure. I find a lot to love in BDSM, but your descriptive detail is so lacking that I couldn't enjoy this story properly.
-It did make me giggle once or twice.
I have to assume the intended audience and/or the author is a young male virgin, and in this case, one who's done no study of female anatomy or sexology. I could've clopped to this, if you knew anything about my body. As it is, I suggest some research on the female body and sexual experience.
Oh, also, things like this:
One does not go numb when one orgasms. Also, the word "the" in the quoted sentence is awkward and unnecessary.
I'd say I liked it. Watching Celestia as the benevolent Mistress and Luna as the Dom bounce off each other was quite fun, and Twilight as the submissive between the two seemed to fit. I liked her blossoming kink of getting spanked, the collar choking, and her general submissiveness were quite cute, and fit her well well. I would have liked more detail to get in the mood. The devil is in the details, and I found it a little lacking.
4567968 Prude.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
4568248
It's prudish to ask for more sexual and sensual details, to imply that I wanted to clop to this, and to briefly mention fetishes and an enjoyment of BDSM?
4568263 It isn't prudish to ask for more details, but it is prudish to fault minor things like that.
You aren't reading the Compendium of Knowledge or anything like that; this is just a clopfic, so don't be a prude.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
4568276
Don't be a troll.
4568281 The sad thing here is that you think I am being a troll. When I am being a troll I use the trollestia emoticon to let people know I am trolling. I was serious when I said you are being a prude.
Do not even bother responding to this, as it will only make you look less intelligent. Actually, this entire conversation up to this point has made you look much less intelligent than the average internet user, at least in my eyes.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
4568332
You're actually pretty funny.
4568360 The fact that you responded after I explicitly told you not to respond shows exactly how intelligent you really are. And at this point, if average is a sixty watt lightbulb, you would be a flashlight powered by two D-cell batteries. At least from my point of view.
Please, spare yourself what little dignity you have left and do not respond to this comment. I do not want to make you look even more foolish than you already do, as there is much better uses for my time.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~