Seeking the Perfect Cup
The palace kitchens held thirty-seven different teapots. Most were fairly interchangeable. They were simple things of metal and ceramic; functional and everyday objects. Most of them, in fact, were rather battered. They got a great deal of use.
A few—reserved for special occasions—were more elaborate. There were delicate teapots carved from solid jade, ceramic teapots molded into fantastical shapes, and enameled metal teapots decorated with intricate designs in vivid colors. Some were even ancient, relics of earlier ages, for Princess Celestia had been a tea drinker since the beverage had first made its way from the lands of the kirin into Equestria.
Celestia was beginning to wonder if all thirty-seven of them would end up being used today. She surveyed the mess that had already been made of nearly a dozen teapots, plus several kettles and a small mountain of cups with a certain amount of trepidation. Twilight had apparently been trying to make a palatable cup of tea for some time before Celestia had arrived.
"Why is this so difficult?" said Twilight crossly. "You put hot water and tea leaves together, let them sit for a while, and then you have tea. How is it possible to get that wrong?"
Luna laughed and grinned at Twilight. She had been with Celestia when she had discovered the tea disaster perpetuated by the visiting princess, and was obviously eager to take advantage of the situation. "Ah, my friend, you should cease these foolish endeavors and admit that tea is an inferior beverage. Coffee is what all civilized ponies drink in this modern era."
"Tea is a cultured, refined, and sophisticated tradition. Coffee is crude by comparison," huffed Celestia.
"Coffee is something that one consumes to be more awake. Simple, flavorful, and functional. There is none of this absurd ceremonial nonsense about it!"
That made Celestia laugh this time. "Oh my sister, you have never seen a true tea ceremony. The way I treat tea would be considered simple to the point of blasphemy by the kirin."
"In that case, I shall endeavor to avoid this ‘tea ceremony’ at all costs. I have had a surfeit of idling about recently, as you may recall."
Celestia coughed. "Ah. Yes."
"Ahem." Twilight stepped between the two sisters somewhat pointedly. "I still don’t know how to make tea, though."
"Of course!" Celestia latched on to the interruption gratefully. She picked up a kettle in her magic and floated it to the faucet, where she filled it. "Just to be clear, I would never use tap water for a proper cup of tea, but for now I believe we should get the rest of it right before dipping into my special supply of imported spring waters."
"Okay." Twilight took the kettle from Celestia.
Celestia smiled at the feel of Twilight’s magic as she passed the kettle to her. Twilight’s aura always felt quite pleasant.
"Then what?" asked Twilight.
"That depends entirely on the variety of tea one is making," began Celestia. "A white tea, for example, is very easily ruined by heat, and so the water should be merely steaming, while..."
"Come sister, we do not require a lecture on every sort of tea that exists beneath your sun. Tell us how the variety Twilight has been trying is best made and get on with it." Luna was grinning as she spoke, obviously enjoying the chance to twist her sister’s tail a bit on the subject.
Celestia shot her a quelling look, but she also nodded. "Very well. What sort of tea were you brewing, Twilight?"
Twilight set the kettle down and picked up a small box of tea bags that had been sitting unnoticed on a nearby table. "This," she said, floating it over to Celestia.
Celestia read the box.
Celestia put her hoof over her face again. "Twilight... this is cinnamon tea. It’s herbal. There are no actual tea leaves in it at all. You can't over-boil the water for it, it won't go bitter if over-steeped, it can't be ruined in any way I can conceivably think of. What have you been doing to it?"
"I... just..." Twilight shook her head. "I was just boiling water, and pouring it over the tea, and letting it steep. But every single time it came out awful."
Celestia looked at Twilight, who was staring at her earnestly. She looked at Luna, who was struggling not to laugh. She looked at the box of tea, still hovering in front of her. Finally she looked at the kitchen, strewn with teapots and cups. Then, with a soft, regretful sigh, she said, "Perhaps you should consider acquiring a taste for coffee."
"Ha!" shouted Luna. "We are victorious! Come, Twilight, I shall teach you the dark ways of coffee!"
"How you brew a cup of coffee, you mean?" asked Twilight.
"Nay! One does not brew a cup of coffee for one's self, my apprentice. Coffee is an arcane art best left to experts. One simply goes down to Donut Joe’s and orders a cup. He brews the most exquisite blends that have ever graced my tongue. Come, I shall show you."
Twilight glanced at Celestia, ducking her head a bit in what might have been guilt. Celestia smiled. "You don’t need my permission to go, Princess Twilight."
"Right. The princess thing." Twilight straightened a little. "Very well! Let us go acquire coffee!"
As Luna swept out of the room with Twilight in her train, Celestia smiled wryly and picked up the kettle full of water. She put it on the stove to heat while she set about cleaning up some of the mess that Twilight had left behind. She had lost this particular battle, it seemed, but that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy making herself a lovely cup of tea.
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Lol, added to read later.
Haha, I enjoyed reading this
4472978 Thanks!
Nice use of the Chinese Kirin, I can tell you know your stuff. Very nice peace of work.
5 stars
Nothing better than waking up in the morning and preparing myself a serving of eggs, two sausages, two strips of bacon, and a mixture of coffee and tea. That's right, I fuse the two. Call me a heretic if you must, but I like my beverages the way I like everything else, screaming for no real reason.
4472982 Thanks! (I love kirin, I've written several stories in which they appear somehow.)
4472987
Heretic!
The thousand year battle between tea and coffee shall live on forever!
This story made me cry tears of laughter, in a good way.
Dat ending.
I also honestly thought this was going to have conflict about light or dark coffee.
4473016 Thanks!
4473045 I actually don't drink coffee at all, so I know nothing about it.
That description alone made me chuckle. This can only lead to good things!
4472995 I has going to find a funny video involving the word heretic as a response, but every single video was either a death metal band or some video about religion. So instead have an awesome song from the 80's and use the lyrics as a source for an inspirational quote or something.
4473054
HERESY
GO BACK TO YOUR TEA
4473074 Ironically, I don't drink tea either. Just herbal tea.
4473062 That is... something, all right.
4473079
GO BACK TO YOUR WATER
4473054 No problem!
Just go to the middle ground and drink Mountain Dew. It may rot your stomach, but that shit will keep you up all night.
4473202 He he he. I'm not sure Equestria has Mountain Dew.
I wonder where Tia and Lulu stand on cookies and crumbits...
I think you need to include something to show that Twilight was actually messing up the tea. I mean it seems like Celestia arrives and then just takes Twilight at her word they'd all been coming out awful
Cute! I loved the fact that Twilight continually ruined the easiest tea to make.
Not quite sure why you added this, though I always enjoy Twilight being highlighted for the sweet person she is.
4473387 Eh, I can never resist a bit of a "wink and nod" towards the Twilight/Celestia ship, which is pretty much what that bit's about.
4473259 Not a clue!
4473396 Ah, it felt like you were leaning that direction. It's one of my favorite ships, so it was nice to see the inference.
4473412 I am torn between Twilestia and Twiluna for my favorite ship. So of course my actual favorite is probably the Twilunestia trio.
4473396 Methinks that another discussion between the royal sister is needed!
Tea? Feh.
Coffee? Bah, I say, Bah!
*Slurps Mountain Dew and Red Bull*
4473425
You should totally write more of that. Triangles are the best kind of hearts (also they are mathematically pleasant)
4473545 I don't have any good plot ideas for any such stories right now, alas. (Though if you want some Twilunestia immediately, and you haven't read my SO's story, Snit yet, it totally recommend it.)
I suppose I really should put some thought into coming up with an idea for one.
I say Twilight should make MILK TEA its better!
It is not bitter , but sweet but no too sweet.
I love peppermint tea! :-)
4473844 That's one of my favorites too.
4473710 Ah, but is it easy to make? Poor Twilight obviously isn't very good at it.
4473845
After peppermint tea my favorite drink is.......................
HOT CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!
4472987 What is this heresy? It sounds amazing
. And I hate tea and can't drink coffee out of distaste. 
A cute and harmless story, nice! Glad to see not everything on this site has to turn into a 65 chapter epic followed by 2 sequals involving enough new cannon to rival game of thrones .
A short, simple, and very good story.
4473854 Obviously we are twins separated from birth.
(I love hot chocolate too.)
4473858 Well, given that my long-running epic is still not done yet, I'm refraining from starting another one until it's finished!
4473865
Maybe be we are but now I'm off to get some hot chocolate or peppermint tea.
4473857 I don't drink either since I'm morning person, so I always have energy when I wake up. If that logic doesn't make any sense to you. Then just imagine that Stephen Hawking said it instead of me. Plus, who needs those drinks when you have singing Germans.
4473982 hurray for singing Germans! I mean... I'm indifferent. Nah, forget that shit, TO NARNIA!
Good gravy this was funny!
It's so... serious! So full of joyful ostentation!
Much like a Brit extolling the virtues of a properly made English Tea, which of course you Americans never get right.
Delectable!
Light and laughter,
SongCoyote
...plus I may have been slightly mentally altered while reading it... but that's just a magnifier for its inherent hilarity
4474438 Heeee. Well, I'm glad you liked it so much!
4474573 Start a heretical third path?
ahem...
I prefer neither coffee nor tea.
...
soda, anypony?
4474733 Yeah, sure. Thanks for offering.
4473371
I agree. To me it honestly seems like Twilight simply doesn't like cinnamon tea.
4474733
i1.ytimg.com/vi/Dgosi8Mp41Q/hqdefault.jpg
Haa! Oh wow. That was epic
4475134 Perhaps she doesn't.
I find that if this was expanded upon to maybe three short chapters of around 1000+ words it could be an intersting short battle between the two brews....
Long live the Chocolate Milk King!