My ponies come up with some strange ideas; and so do I.
What follows is the best, and arguably the weirdest day of Celestia's life. (and at her age that's saying something)
Enjoy.
Chapters (1)
Karrakaz
Joined 11th Nov, 2011 ·
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Added to read later.
Very cute!
cute.
Oh this was silly
/10
Well, Rapunzel seemed to have a lot of fun swinging about on her hair. I mean, damn, the muscles in her neck must put Herakles's biceps to shame.
Strange, cute, and funny. I love it.
4473228 That whole "magic healing flower hair" thing could help.
4472946 read now
4473192 *Takes off sunglasses*
Mother of God...
4474427 You wouldn't happen to know who thumbed down my comment would you?
4474437 no, but I can understand why someone would, they probably thought that you didn't think that this story would be worth reading right now or something along those lines.
4474446 Oh no no no. I have over 140 things in my read-later list, I just don't have the time to read them yet, that's all.
4474430
4474448 I currently have 64 things on my read later list... I wish that I could have time to read them other than at night when I should be sleeping but certain... circumstances prevent me from reading them during the day...
I really need to go to sleep now...
4474479 Okey doke, G'night.
4474485 'night
The look on Twilight's face in the cover pic, just screens "Halp!"
*slow clap*
Truly, a pun worthy of the history books.
The sneaky removal of Daring Don't amuses me entirely too much. Liked the episode so I find the disdain for it hilarious
4475189
sadly those were all burned and this is the only record of the event.
@author also twi doesn't need an ethereal mane.
Oh gods, the Early Modern English.
*sigh* Here goes.
Thy hiding skills are unbeatable, Twilight Sparkle, and a game is fun only if everypony hath a chance to claim victory.
Surely, even Our sister hath not enough mane for such a thing?
Ha! Thou hast not a chance, cousin! The early bird doth catch the worm, as is said, and none rise earlier than Us! Thou shalt never best me!
If Luna addresses both Cadance and Twilight in the last sentence, then it's "You shall never best me!" If she decides to be less formal, she could drop the royal plural, so you can do that, if you want.
Other than that, well done! Loved it.
And the pun, in the title and at the end.
An excellent little fic, but one thing did bug me. When the two other ponies come in to join Luna, you don't say that Cadance is the third until the very, very end. I dunno if that was intentional or not, but a good fic otherwise.
Wonderfully cute fic! I'm going to read this many times over. Thank you for making such a lovely little read, good sir or madam. Now, I'm afraid I must away. I bid you adieu.
Adorable and silly!
4476046 It's a shame we can't burn this as well.
You may say it is bad for the soul to want to burn something so cute and cuddly...
well...
I have no soul.
Meh.
I found this story to be... confusing
The pacing was strange, there was nearly no real direction that this story was going... I honestly didn't know what I was expecting when I clicked on this story after seeing it in the popular stories box... but to be honest... I was expecting... better
The whole story felt like it was rushed, and written in one sitting. Writing something in one sitting, there's no problem with. nor is there any problem with rushed stories. The problem occurs when they affect the quality and readability of the story. There were parts of the story that I had to go back and re-read several times just to wrap my head around what was going on... The last point that I actually knew what was happening was when Celestia said "Sure" to Luna. Up until then, I had a pretty clear picture of what was going on in my mind... and then that picture shattered into a million tiny peices, and I was desperately trying to put them all back together to make sense of the story.
Now, I don't know if this is just me. I don't know, it might be. And I'm not saying that you're a bad writer at all.. I'm just saying that you may need to... improve slightly.
When you write; particuarly for other people, like you do when you upload a story to this website, you need to make sure that it makes sense, not only to you, but to others as well. If you intended this to be confusing, then congratulations, you succeeded... but I was definately expecting something more than this to get into the popular stories box
To summarize, the story felt rushed, and was confusing. I couldn't keep up with what was happening, and I was just lost for most of the time.
for this story, I would rate this
/10
I would highly recommend getting someone to proof-read and edit in the future, because something that may sound good to you when you first write it, may not neccicarilly be good writing.
4484790
Which is usually the case when I write. This story however was something I wrote more to get an idea out of my head that wouldn't leave me alone, and which I (for once) decided not to obsess over.
The entire thing took me a little over half an hour and had no editing.
Perhaps I'll redo it in future.
This is cute.
Pointless cute perhaps, but still cute.
Sometimes we all need some silly sweetness. I liked it.
Short, sweet, and to the point. I like it a lot. Made me feel good.
I rather enjoy a good story like this, though i got something of a bit confused towards the middle,I barely hung on. I think it was, as used before, "cute". And a refreshing thing to read.
~Flow
At first I just thought this was amusing.
Then I read the last sentence.
You son of a bitch.
This raises the question: What DOES her mane feel like?
Also
Downvoted. This could be quite enjoyable if it was rewritten for clarity.
>Laughed out loud.
>Family looked at me weird.
>Kept laughing anyways.
It was jarring to have Daring Do introduced then promptly forgotten. I think there is an instance of "Celestia" being replaced with "Luna". It was cute, but the flow wasn't there and there seemed to be a lack of transitions with certain details that probably needed more explaining being outright dropped.
...
...
...
...
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4496216 This is a concept I am all too familiar with.
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You said the three of them. Who? We have Twilight [her cousin I don't see you mention until the end ... even then that sounded weird to me that she'd call Luna her cousin] and Luna. Both of whom gave Puppy Eyes to Tia to let them play in her Mane. The third I don't think was mentioned, and what happened to Daring Do?
4508956 Cadance, she called Celestia 'aunty', so that's the logical solution.
4528469
Actually we don't know who said "aunty" in this fic (or it wasn't made really clear). Cadence as she's called in the fic is mentioned only twice. At the opening [her and Shining Armor's wedding], and the Ending when talking about getting her and Twilight flowing manes.
We get Luna and Twilight. But we aren't told who the third is. And Cadance [spelling of Cadence] is mentioned in the comment section but not the story.
An enjoyable read. Particular sentences were really well constructed, a literal and virtual wordsmithing of words. :D
I do agree with other comments. The story could use a bit of refinement. I was able to brain together what was happening. But the three ponies in the room with Celestial was the biggest bug for me which I couldn't brain together who was doing what.
I'd definitely jump at the chance to read this again if and when you feel like redoing it.
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Hilarious and adorable. New headcanon acquired.
.... I have no idea what I just read but I was left smiling and laughing. So... thank you?
6497999
You're welcome?
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4474479 I currently have 139 pages in my read later list. It would take months of reading 24/7 to finish them.
And I keep adding more.
I have a problem.