- Member Since 3rd Feb, 2014
- offline last seen March 23rd
TheShadowOfZama
Greetings everybody! I am a new writer who tries to create some amusement. I enjoy writing and reading stories, if you enjoy my stories give them some support and join the shadow army (=my followers).
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then he gets snapped in half by an earth pony...........
Hmm. Is this about the alter Equestria? With the evil celestia?
Good job!
4411079 Or, you know, slice him/her in half with ease.
4411503 what can i say? a human being is not even a fifth as durable as a wall.
I think I already read it somethere. Ah, yes, Here. Slightly different, but ideas pretty much same.
4411641 Yeah but he is and isn't human at the same time so he could, probably, withstand more force than a normal human.
4411079
Too bad an earth pony would be slow in it's attack. Meaning you would have to be blind or stupid to get hit by it.
4415745 Not to mention choreographed hours in advance. You'd have to be deaf, blind, AND dumb to get hit by an earth pony.
Karl? Is his last name Marx,what with all the revolutions and whatnot in this story.
4417050
So true.
I really want Tia and Lulu to die! Good job author! Wait... I already thought that!
WHY U NO CARRY GUN? Also I think you did a good job writing but needs more armed humans
4419305 Reason why he doesn't carry a gun is because they are from Europe and in Europe or at least western Europe guns are a way lot harder to get than by example in the united states. besides that they travelled with an airplane so unless you are an air marschal I doubt you are even allowed to bring a gun a board. I can however ease your fears as there will be a appearance of more humans and some good old fashioned weaponry in the story. btw thanks for the support!
4419721 your welcome *I'm using phone so Ijcan't use pinkie smile*butility you've managed to keep this story perfect so I believed you should have been complemented
So many grammatical errors......Maybe you should invest in a spell checker. Besides that it's a good story.
4427029 I use the spell checker of Word that's the best I have. Thanks for the support.
Good chapter, sir!
4452153 Your support is much appreciated, sir! Thank you for keep showing your support for the story!
4455549 hey,good writers deserve good rewards.
¡Viva la Revolución!
Interesting story, I've always loved a good revolutionary story and it almost pains me to see that there aren't that many of them on this cite. This thus far looks rather well and I hope you continue it to the end. Great job, keep goin and stay golden^^
4471322 Thank you for your words of support and I agree wih you. There aren't enough good revolution stories. I came acros the idea because I was looking for a plot for a new story, and in my history class we were talking about the French revolution and when I found a good story I knew for certain I wanted to give it a try.
4471453
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!
4471784
Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs
Will water the meadows of France!
4471784 Bombs fall,which Death has encompassed.Guns fire,spraying death and destruction.Death is in the air, tonight....
4471863
Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
For some reason, I keep imagining him looking kind of like the captain from hellsing. I know that's not right, but I can't help but imagine it...
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130614221102/hellsing/images/a/a9/The_Captain-Wolf_Hybrid_Form.jpg
4471944 The teeth are about right for the right arm I believe this is more appropriate
fc01.deviantart.net/fs47/i/2009/232/b/8/Alex_Mercer_cosplay__Claw_by_Nanaga.jpg
for torso and legs only feet look more like those of a human. Imagine the feet a feline would have should they look humanoid:
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/326/2/4/dinomen_by_hail_the_oblivious-d5lsaag.png
And imagine having one of these hands (claws) as left hand:
images.forwallpaper.com/files/thumbs/preview/49/491724__sauron_p.jpg
The left side of his head is burned like this minus the ear:
images1.fanpop.com/images/photos/2600000/Zuko-face-zuko-2615803-720-480.jpg
Combine these images until they look like something humanoid and you have Karl's new body
4472113
Well... that's certainly shocking....
4472113 so his right arm is like the claws from prototype
4474211 yes, that's the closest thing I can find on the web that looks like it, except he has four claws and his claw thumb I guess you call it so still a complete hand unlike the one on the picture who only has three fingers (claws) left.
btw. I love your avatar!!! Luna looks so cute!!!! It nearly made my
go BOOM!!!
4474910 :P my avitar has everything i like, for example pancakes and luna
4476299 We seem to like the same things and I fully agree with you Luna is truly the best pony.
do you know how long that is?
200+ meters
1200 feet
400yards
MOOOAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If thats okay with you
4480499 I think I know what happened when you converted. I think you forgot the point between 15 and 748 because otherwise you would get 40 cm. Because my computer screen is I believe 27 inches. When I first entered it, I forgot the comma as well and then I got what you got.
Try putting it in here for some reason it needs to be a point when put in here:
http://www.convertunits.com/from/cm/to/inches
Btw. Nice profile picture you got there. I like gryphons. They are my favorite race in MLP FIM.
4480551 Fine with me oh and welcome to the club I would say. May I also ask how you found this story? I try to figure out a way to reach more people so I am curious as to how everybody or everypony found the story.
Lay siege to hoovetown
And make him build trebuchet's
And maybe a canon prototype
Like how your story use roman military tactics to over power the Equestrian soldier lead by Courageous Call. By using slingshot crews to take down there air support, like roman us them to attack towns with great wall around them by firing oil full pot on fire to burn out there enemy from bases and do heavy damage to them. Also how the Diamond dog soldiers circle Karl with there spear and I think shields. Because I think roman military tactics work good against Equestrian England medieval style tactics. Now what is Karl going to do about Hoovetown? will he find the leak in the Diamond dog perk that give tip to the town about there raids. can what to read about it.
P.S put a link on youtube about your story on a next video and post it here ok.
4480692 Good idea for the trebuchets, I had not thought about those yet, although I find it a little too early for cannons. Thanks for the suggestions if you or anyone else have anymore please tell me. I don't guarantee using them, but you know if we all put our brains together we have a bigger chance of getting a good one of which me "the writer" hasn't thought of yet like you just demonstrated with the trebuchets.
4480760 I am happy you liked the tactics used in the battle. I personally believe that Roman tactics are superior to mediëval tactics, although I am going to admit that I don't know much about mediëval tactics. I am extremely happy that you and some others seem to be trilled for the next chapter.
Thank you for the advice for a youtube vid I will try to create one well perhaps multyple depending on how much I like doing it.
Btw. Thanks for the follow! Welcome to the shadow army!
viva la revolution
Command and Counqer motherfuckers !,
The walls Annotatehave been breached! Advaaaaaaance!
We came in the name of peace and brotherhood, you wanted us bound in slavery, poisoned our water, changed our names...
Burn their homes, take their jewels, skin them alive!
Hold on, hold on, hold on... Rape their women !
No one will know these people ever existed, and all that will be left is what we build upon their ruins...
I found this story when it was new so i subscribed to it i just havent commented yet this was my first comment on the story
Just keep doing what your doing i love it so far.
Divide and counqer
I'm not sure if this has already been addressed, but are you open to working with an editor?
Also,
VIVA LA REVOLUCIÓN
4485815 Yes, I am searching for an editor do you by coincidence have interest? If so feel free to PM me.
Not bad, but you have a bad habit of using death in place of dead or dieing a few times, also you've missed use some words here and there. I suggest looking over chapter 6 and I believe chapter 2 for some of these, their minor, but they are still there.
Also I will give kudos to you using Kempf (German for Struggle) as Karl's last name.
all in all, its not bad, I hope to see some more improvement and chapters as your story continues.