Broken
The sun was just beginning to sink past the horizon as the Elements made their way to Ponyville’s train station. The assembled mares nodded polite greetings to the workers at the station as well as the other ponies that they met before making their way to the end of the platform.
Once they were comfortably out of earshot of anypony who might pass by, Applejack turned to face the others. “All right, girls, Twi’s train should be coming along in about five minutes. We’re to help her to the Library and then not bother her until the morning. Princess Luna said she was having trouble sleeping so we should give her one good night in her own bed before we start hassling her about what happened.”
Rainbow Dash was the first to object. “But—“
“No ‘buts’, RD,” Applejack put her hoof down as she interrupted. “Only the princesses know what happened to Twilight while she was away. It is not our place to pry answers out of our friend if she doesn’t feel like sharing. And Pinkie Pie? I don’t think…” Applejack’s warning to the other earth pony died in her throat as the two locked gazes.
Pinkie Pie’s expression was as serious as Applejack could ever remember it being. In the place of her usual wide-eyed joy and bubbly excitement was a grim set to her jaw and downcast eyes. The moment passed when Pinkie looked down the tracks and pointed with a hoof. “Her train’s almost here.”
All eyes turned to the tracks and the locomotive that crested the nearby hill before making its way to the station itself. The cars opened up to release their passengers, and the first pony that Applejack recognized wasn’t Twilight but Shining Armor. The unicorn stallion stepped out of the car and caught sight of the Elements before turning around and offering a hoof to his sister as she exited the train. Applejack wasn’t the only Element to inhale sharply once they caught sight of their long lost friend.
Twilight Sparkle was a shadow of her former self. Her mane and tail were ill-cared for, and bags were clearly visible under eyes that struggled to stay open, but what was probably the most noticeable change was the livid scar that marred her barrel where her coat had failed to fill in. Twilight gave her brother a hug before adjusting the strange saddlebag on her back and turning towards her friends.
“Pleasure to have you back, Twi,” Applejack said with a reassuring smile that faltered only slightly as Twilight stared back at her with those tired eyes. Applejack continued, “Spike’s back at the library waiting for you. Everything’s just the way you left it. I also left enough food for you and Spike to last a few days so you don’t have to strain yourself to go out and get more.”
“Thanks, Applejack,” Twilight replied as she managed a weak smile.
“Twilight, may I ask where you got that saddlebag?” Rarity asked while trying to mask her distaste of it. “It certainly looks, well, ruggedly stitched, but it can’t be all that comfortable to wear. I dare say the tailor who made it doesn’t understand how saddlebags should be worn!”
Twilight’s weak smile faded as she turned to stare at Rarity. Several uncomfortable moments passed before she finally replied, “Its fine,” before taking a moment to adjust the bag.
“What’s in the bag? It looks stuffed!” Rainbow Dash observed as she hovered nearby. “It looks heavy, too. Why don’t you let me carry it?” She offered as she reached out with a hoof. The moment the hoof came into contact with the bag, Twilight reacted immediately.
“NO!” The unicorn snapped, and she stumbled out of Dash’s reach and turned to face her with a look of panic in her eyes. A long moment passed before Twilight simply turned and galloped out of the station and towards the library.
Rainbow Dash sank back to ground level and gave the other Elements a concerned look. “What was that about?”
“We don’t know what happened to her, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy offered quietly before looking down. “While it’s rare, I sometimes help pets that come from mean owners and the pets become scared of everypony because of it. We just have to be patient with her and make sure she knows we are here to help her.” When Dash’s face clouded over, Fluttershy added, “Don’t force her, it won’t help anypony.”
“It might be best if we call it a night, girls,” Rarity said with a note of finality, “We can go visit Twilight in the morning if she’s up for it. I’ve also told Spike to call for us day or night if there’s any problem. Goodnight.”
With nothing else to discuss, the group dispersed to their respective homes. Applejack turned towards the acreage but stopped when she caught sight of Pinkie Pie looking towards the library in the distance. “Thanks for not going overboard with the welcome back, Pinkie. I don’t think Twilight’s in the mood for parties right now.”
The party mare turned to Applejack with a disconcerting lack of good cheer on her face. “Why would I throw a party?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Twilight isn’t really back yet.”
-------
Twilight couldn’t remember how she had made it into bed but she now found herself there. The familiar smells of her pillow as well as the comforting firmness of her mattress reminded her that she was home. She was home.
There was plenty to do in the morning, including sorting out all the stuff that her friends from Earth left her in the bag as well as going over the spellbook that Celestia had left her. Learning about Starswirl’s spells, from a book that he had penned himself, was an unprecedented opportunity for Twilight. It was one she was not going to waste.
She relaxed further and felt her mind slowly drift away to sleep. Twilight felt as though she would simply melt as a hand caressed her head and ran through her mane. The feeling reminded her of when her mother would brush her mane and listen as Twilight told her about her day when she had been just a filly.
“I’m glad you’re home, Twilight.”
“I’m glad to be home.”
“Your friends seemed happy to have you back.”
“I guess so.”
“You have doubts?”
“I don’t know what to say. I want things to be the way they were but I don’t think they ever will be.”
“I understand. Friendships change, but if you want the opportunity to fix things then you’re going to need to work.”
“I know.”
“Do you? If you value your friends as much as you claim then perhaps you should be studying. Otherwise you won’t be able to save them, just like you couldn’t save me.”
“What?”
Twilight looked up just in time to catch an aborted scream and a burst of green flame followed by a blizzard of ashes falling around her. The unicorn recoiled and started to scream before she realized that she had breathed in the ashes. Twilight’s scream devolved into a gag and coughing fit as she stumbled out of bed and onto the floor.
“Twilight? Are you alright?” Her gaze snapped to the side to see Spike with one claw on the light switch and a great amount of concern on his face. Spike flipped the light switch and surveyed the state of her bedroom. “Okay, it’s okay Twilight. Why don’t you go clean up? I’ll get this all straightened out for you.”
Twilight followed Spike’s gaze and couldn’t help but let out a small sob. Instead of the half-vaporized body and ashes she expected on the bed she found the pillows and sheets had all but fled from the vicinity and now littered the floor around it. The night stand near her bed was also out of alignment and the glass of water that had rested there now was shattered on the floor. A trail of vomit also littered the floor, and the realization that it came from her was enough to almost make Twilight retch again. “I’m sorry, Spike, I’m so sorry. I can’t let you clean that up by yourself.”
Twilight went to the cleaning closet and tapped her magic to retrieve all the supplies she would need to clean up the mess. Two months ago she could have cleaned and sanitized the entire room in under five minutes with her aptitude for the arcane. It had been that way for years, to the point where she had to barely put a thought into it. Because of this, it came as a complete surprise that her magic fizzled and failed to do more than cause a small avalanche of cleaning supplies around her. The broom and mop handles clattered noisily to the floor and a roll of paper towels unraveled itself as it bounced and rolled into the room.
“Twily, don’t worry about it,” Spike again insisted as he caught the paper towels with one claw. “Go take a shower, everything will be cleaned up before you get out. Okay?”
Twilight couldn’t bring herself to look at Spike as she hung her head and followed his suggestion. She didn’t want to see the disappointment she imagined was on his face.
------
The cascade of near-scalding hot water turned Twilight’s mane into a warm mop on her head as well as soaked her coat thoroughly. The sweat and other unpleasant things came easily out of her coat and the hot water helped ease some of the tension in her muscles. The only thing that the shower did not help with was her worries.
Foal, you’re nothing but an inconvenience to Spike. To cause such a mess over a simple nightmare. You weren’t even able to clean it up afterward, Twilight silently berated herself as she closed her eyes and brought her face into the water. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, the berating thoughts continued.
You saw it in your friends as well. They offered to help their old friend, but they haven’t realized yet that their old friend is gone. You’re all that remains of Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic, a hollow husk too damaged in mind and body to be of use to anypony. You’re nothing more than a burden now and they help you out of pity, not friendship.
“That’s not true…” Twilight whispered to herself in the hope that speaking the words would somehow be more powerful than the treacherous line of thought.
The damage you’ve sustained has also made you useless to us as well. It is unfortunate that this is the case, but the information you have provided is more than sufficient. With the location of your homeworld, it is all but certain that other apex specimens can be acquired.
Twilight opened her mouth to speak but stopped when she fully processed the thoughts that had just crossed her mind. She opened her eyes and reached to turn off the shower when she caught a flicker of movement in the corner of her eye and came to a horrifying realization. She wasn’t alone in the bathroom and her thoughts weren’t her own.
On the other side of the shower curtain stood a thin creature wrapped in a red. Any details were obscured by the shower curtain but Twilight knew a featureless helmet and mask covered its face. You know that you cannot resist us. Your friends, your brother, the princesses, the humans, everypony you have ever known and loved; they will all submit or they will all burn. All shall receive Ascension. It. Is. Inevitable. Two left arms reached out towards the shower curtain and Twilight’s breath caught in her throat.
“Twilight? How long are you going to be in there?” Spike shouted through the door. “Are you okay?”
Twilight’s gaze flicked from the monster reaching towards the shower curtain to the bathroom door but when she looked back, the monster was gone. “I’m f-fine, Spike. I’m done now,” She answered as she stepped out of the shower and fumbled with the towel to soak up the water that was still in her coat and mane. She started to call out to her assistant but her words died in her throat. I can’t talk to him about… all of this. I can’t talk to the girls either. There’s only one pony—one person would could understand what’s happening… and he isn’t here. What do I do now?
“Spike! Can you get a piece of paper and something to draw with?” Twilight shouted as she gave up drying her mane as a lost cause and threw the towel onto the drying rack.
------
Rarity did not particularly enjoy having to wake so early in the morning. She rather considered it a necessary evil; a price that must be paid to look as fabulous as she did every day. It also gave her some quiet time as her ship did not open for at least a couple of hours. She could use the time to eat a modest breakfast, review her current projects, or even visit the market if necessary. Because it was so early and she was so used to her quiet mornings, it came as a complete shock when Rarity heard someone knocking rather loudly on her door.
“Just a moment!” Rarity said as loudly as she felt a lady should while applying the finishing touches on her mane. Once she was satisfied (and the urgency of the knocking increased), Rarity trotted over to the door. “I’m afraid the shop’s not open yet,” Rarity started as she opened the door only to see a soggy-looking Twilight with an expression that spoke of desperation. “My word, are you alright, Twilight? Come inside or you’ll catch a cold. I’ve got some towels that will soak up that water and warm you up. I just finished some tea, would you like a cup?”
“Yes, please,” Twilight muttered as she stepped inside and set her saddlebags down. Unlike the bag she had worn when stepping off the train, the ones she brought now were her old saddlebags with her cutie mark stitched into them. Rarity also noted that they appeared almost empty save for a rolled up scroll that protruded from one bag.
“I must confess that I’m surprised to see you so early in the morning, darling. I would have thought you might take the chance to sleep in, what with all the drama that’s happened recently,” Rarity stated as she levitated a towel out from her bathroom before doing the same with her tea set from the kitchen. Rarity had just started to pour into the cups when she noted Twilight’s attempts to use the towel were less than enthusiastic. “Twilight, I feel that I must apologize for yesterday. The girls and I are thrilled that you’ve come back to us, but we were terribly insensitive to the fact that you are still recovering from your ordeals. If there is anything we can do to make this easier for you, darling, you only have to ask.”
Twilight did her best to fold the towel before looking down at the tea cup that Rarity had set before her. “Thank you,” she said quietly. Without another word she walked over to her bags and pulled the scroll out with her teeth before returning to the table and spreading it out. “I know this isn’t what you usually make, and I apologize if the design is a bit messy, but… could you make this for me? Please?”
The honest desperation and need in Twilight’s request reached for Rarity’s heart and squeezed. “Gladly, Twilight. The design is simple enough, though the extra details will require a little extra work,” Rarity agreed immediately and when she saw that her friend opened her mouth to object, she spoke first. “Hush, darling. It’s no trouble at all. I’ve been making similar things for Sweetie Belle for years, so I’m confident I could have this done for you by noon.”
Twilight’s ‘thank you’ was lost as she looked away from Rarity’s sympathetic gaze.
“I’ll have Spike pick it up when it’s done, you need not go to the trouble of picking it up. What you need now is rest, Twilight,” Rarity said as she sipped her tea while glancing at the cup that Twilight hadn’t touched. “I won’t push and I’ll make certain the girls don’t either. When you’re ready to talk about what happened, please come to any of us. Day or night.”
Twilight again stared into her tea cup again and looked mere moments away from simply breaking down when Sweetie Belle shuffled into the kitchen.
“Morning, Rarity. Morning Twi--,” the foal muttered in a sleepy daze but once her eyes settled on Rarity’s guest she immediately snapped to attention. “Twilight! Scoots! Applebloom! Twilight’s here!” In the blink of an eye the three-foal stampede plowed into the kitchen and began to bury Twilight in questions about where she had been and what she had done.
“GIRLS.” Rarity raised her voice perhaps a bit more than a proper lady should and all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders turned to face the wrath of the fashionista. “Twilight is very tired can’t answer your questions right now. You three should go back to your slumber party. Now.”
All three grumbled and stalked out of the kitchen, and when Rarity was certain they were out of earshot she turned back to Twilight only to find herself now alone in the kitchen and the door leading outside just sliding shut.
------
Twilight slammed the door to the library behind her and sank to the floor. Her breath came in ragged gasps and her heart hammered in her chest as she tried to control her spiraling thoughts.
“Where’d you go? Twilight?”
“Oh oh! Did you beat up bad guys and save the day?”
“Did you make any friends?”
“Tell us everything! Tell us!”
Twilight had been on the verge of telling Rarity when the foals had interrupted. With them in the room she wouldn’t dare talk about the horrors she had seen and done. The fire, the screams, the blood, the friendly smile behind a flurry of casual violence, the immeasurably powerful mind that had invaded hers…
NO. FOCUS! Twilight rallied and pushed the terrible memories out of her mind. I need to focus! My magic hasn’t been the same since… then, but there has to be some way to recover my abilities. Think, think… Twilight’s eyes drifted to the many books in the library and it dawned on her. Starswirl’s spellbook! I’d be all the bits in the world that there’s a spell that can fix this!
Twilight galloped over to her work desk and the bag that held the ancient spellbook. After a few fumbles with her hooves she extracted it and dropped it on the desk and she began to read and take notes of her own. A disconcerting amount of spells were incomplete, and the vast majority of the spells couldn’t help her. She had almost given up when she finally found her salvation.
“’Starswirl’s Incantation of Empowerment’,” Twilight read the words aloud and she felt her spirits begin to rise. “’This spell has the capacity to unlock the true and full potential of anypony worthy of it.’ Yes!” This is the key! I can cast the spell and then I’ll be back to normal! Her eyes devoured the descriptions and instructions on the page and she memorized every last detail of the formulae for the spell itself.
She had studied enough magic to be able to identify a spell’s effects by eyeing the raw formulae, but this spell was worlds beyond anything she had seen before. Layers upon layers of arrays were set upon each other and affecting one another to a degree that not even her studious mind could anticipate. Thus far the only thing she could determine was the energy cost which was so insignificant that she should be able to manage it even in her weakened state.
Well, there’s no time like the present! Twilight steeled her resolve and closed her eyes. The smallest flicker of arcane power was all that she could draw, but it was enough for her to shape in her mind’s eye. Each layer of the formulae compressed over the next, and the next, and the next to create what was certainly the most complex spell that Twilight had ever attempted. When the last layer was complete, she activated the spell.
And nothing happened.
Her eyes opened again to look for any sort of change, and she again tried to draw magic only to be rewarded with a rather pathetic dribble of power. A small amount of frustration began to creep into her mind as she went back to the book to attempt the spell again, with similar results.
“Okay, Twilight, okay. Don’t stress,” she said to herself. “I can go over the instructions again. I might have missed something that’s preventing it from completing.” Twilight took a deep breath and reviewed everything the book showed for the spell, then tried it again with similar results. She checked the spells preceding and following this one for any sort of prerequisite, which wasn’t there. She then began to dissect the many layers of the spell to hopefully find some sort of error in the array she had constructed in her mind.
“It’s hopeless, you know.” The voice’s tone was friendly and upbeat but the content of the words were more mocking than anything else.
“Shut up, go away,” Twilight snapped as she continued to disassemble the spell in front of her.
“Oh, you’ll get an ‘A’ for effort but I think we both can agree that no simple little spell is going to make everything better,” The voice continued, and Twilight couldn’t help but get the nagging sensation that she knew the speaker. “Even if the spell works as advertised, it can’t undo the past. It can’t wash the blood off your hooves.
Twilight could hear the voice’s owner move to stand behind her. “Let’s be honest, Twilight. You’ve been telling yourself that you can’t tell your friends about what happened to you because it might scar or scare them, but that’s a lie, isn’t it? The real reason you don’t want to tell them is because for all the bloodshed you saw inflicted upon your friends… you inflicted quite a bit of your own. You don’t want them to know about the hundreds of lives you ended. You don’t want them to see their dear friend bathed in blood.”
“That’s not—“ Twilight started to protest but a memory silenced her. Creatures frozen in stone prisons as they tried to lash out or tried to flee, locked for all of eternity in granite form. Oh Celestia… I did that.
“And now you seek power to make everything right, but we both know you want that power to try and fight those monsters when they come here. We both know that you’ll fail to protect your dear and precious friends just as you failed to protect your friends on Earth. You are weak, and no amount of power will change that.”
Twilight struggled to find some way to defend herself against the accusations but the memories of her friends’ deaths due to her inaction combined with the deaths she had directly caused made the words stick in her throat. She nearly jumped out of her seat when hands came to rest on her shoulders and the friendly voice began to whisper the cruel truth into hear ear.
“You’ve had time to think about what has happened, and I’m sure you’ve come to realize the horrible truth.” A moment of silence passed and Twilight’s eyes widened. “The monsters that killed your friends were there for you. Were you not there, they would likely still be alive. And now you’re back in peaceful Ponyville. It is only a matter of time before the monsters come for you here and history repeats itself. There is only one thing you can do to save the lives of your friends and atone for the deaths you’ve caused.”
Twilight’s voice wavered as she whispered, “What can I do?”
“The answer is quite simple really,” The voice mused and the hands on her shoulders moved up her neck to clamp on her throat. “All you have to do is KILL YOURSELF!”
BANG.
Twilight’s chair caught on an uneven floorboard as she pushed off the desk forcefully, which tipped over backwards and flung the unicorn gracelessly to the floor. Without a conscious thought she pushed herself away from the desk and into the corner of the room while trying desperately to inhale every last bit of air she could. The room was empty and dark save for the lamp on her desk. The nighttime gloom could be seen through the room’s windows as well.
I must have fallen asleep at my desk, Twilight realized once her heart and breathing had slowed down to a more manageable rate. As she looked around the rest of the room she saw a box sitting beside the chair she had so violently evacuated. She slowly rose and looked down at the note on top of it.
“Twilight, enclosed in this box is the item you requested. If you need anything else, please do not hesitate for a moment to ask.
-Rarity”
Twilight tore open the box as quickly as she could and extracted the item inside with tender hooves. It was a rag doll much like the long forgotten and still missing Smartypants but that was where the similarities ended. There was no pronounced snout like her old doll, in its place was a flat face and two brown buttons for eyes along with a dark brown bit of fabric atop its head instead of a raggedy mane. Its forelimbs also ended in hands with stitching to denote the fingers.
Twilight brought the doll into a tight hug and tried not to cry even as she realized what she needed to do to keep her friends safe.
------
Spike did his best to enter the library as quietly as he could, though in retrospect it probably didn’t matter either way. Either Twilight had passed out and couldn’t hear anything like she had during the day, or she was completely awake and being quiet wouldn’t matter. I should check on her to make sure she’s doing okay, he thought as he poked his head into her bedroom.
Nothing seemed to be amiss within the room other than the fact that Twilight was nowhere to be seen, and the strange bag she had come home with was gone as well. The light was on above her desk, and as Spike hopped up to turn it off he looked down at the single sheet of paper that rested there.
“I’m sorry, but I’m putting everyone in danger by being here.
Goodbye.”
“RARITY!” Spike screamed as he grabbed the paper and sprinted as fast as he could out of the library.
------
“We need to organize a search!” Rainbow Dash stated firmly as she, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Spike sat in the library. “She can’t go wandering around at night in her condition!”
“Where would we look? Its night out in case you hadn’t noticed,” Applejack answered doubtfully. “I don’t like our chances of finding her now.”
“So, what? We should just give up?” came Dash’s expected reply, and both she and Applejack glared at each other furiously.
“I could ask Owliscious to help us look. He has lots of owl friends who could help us too,” Fluttershy offered, her concern for Twilight overriding any shyness at inserting herself into such a tense conversation.
“Whatever we do, we should do it quickly,” Rarity added, and the note of concern in her voice drew all attention to her. “Like all of you I fear for her safety, but it’s not the creatures of the night that worry me the most right now. I’m afraid that… that she might hurt herself if she thought there was no other option.” All eyes widened at that but before she could elaborate the mood was thoroughly punctured by a knock on the door and the mailmare announcing her arrival.
“Isn’t it a bit late to make deliveries?” Applejack asked the mailmare skeptically as the wall-eyed pony retrieved a simple scroll and gave it to the earth pony.
“I know! It’s way too late for deliveries but Pinkie Pie threatened to cut off my muffin tab if I didn’t do it!” She whined before looking to all the ponies (and dragon) in the Library. “So… you’re Pinkie’s friends, right? You’ll tell her that I delivered her letter at the right time? Riiiiiight?” She ended the question with a winning grin but was mostly ignored in favor of the scroll that Applejack unfurled and read with increasingly wide eyes.
“Speaking of Pinkie? Where is she?” Dash asked but any sort of reply was cut off as Applejack turned to the group.
“We need to get to the ruins in Everfree. Now!”
------
Only one of the two doors was still attached to the entrance to the thousand year old ruins in Everfree, and Twilight absently wondered where the other door went as she stepped inside. The stray line of thought disappeared as quickly as it came as she stepped further into the grand hall and caught sight of what she was looking for.
In the center of the hall was a ring cut into the stone. The ring was perfectly cut and sank almost an inch into the marble floors and was perfectly smooth without any of the signs of age that the rest of the area showed. This is where they came to Equestria, and this is where they left, Twilight thought to herself as she stepped into the ring and slipped the human bag off of her back.
“Okay, Twilight… you can do this. Teleport tracing isn’t impossible,” She told herself as she sat in the center of the ring and concentrated. After only a moment’s concentration she smiled as she found what she was looking for. The teleporter’s artificial nature had left more than the physical mark on the marble of the great hall. A small magical echo detailing the exact mechanics behind the device her friends had used to return to Earth. With that information, she could return there as well.
Twilight concentrated and visualized the formulae she would need to teleport as well as gathered every last bit of energy she could muster. She had barely begun before her horn began to hurt. It wasn’t the dull ache she was familiar with when she pushed herself. This was more akin to a nail being driven into her skull. Despite the pain she gathered as much energy as she could muster and activated the spell.
When she opened her eyes, nothing had changed.
“No,” Twilight muttered before raising her hooves and bringing them down. “No! No! NO!” Again and again she brought her hooves down on the unyielding marble. Nothing’s working! Nothing’s right anymore!
“Twilight!”
Applejack’s shout snapped Twilight out of her failure-induced rage. She tried to run from the center of the hall bout found that her front hooves would no longer support her weight. Twilight stumbled and fell before trying to rise again despite the pain. The voices of the other Elements and Spike filled the hall as they approached.
“Twilight, there you are! We’ve been worried sick! Why don’t…” Rarity started to ask before her gaze settled on her hooves. “Sun above, you’re hurt! Don’t move, darling, Fluttershy brought her first aid supplies so we can—“
“Stay away!” Twilight’s scream halted the others in their tracks. “I’m just… I can’t…”
“Is this about the meanies you met when you were away? Which… uh, I totally didn’t hear about by eavesdropping in Canterlot,” Rainbow Dash asked, and her expression became a rather severe scowl. “If you’re worried about them coming back then just leave it to us! I can beat up any bullies that show up!”
“No, you can’t!” Twilight tried to hold it in but the flood gates had already broken. “They weren’t bullies, they were monsters and they killed my friends! They aren’t mean, they want to burn everything to the ground and everypony they meet! Ponyville! Canterlot! Your families! Everything and Everypony! If they follow me here then you’re all going to die and there’s nothing I can do to stop it!”
The other Elements shared wide-eyed glances as Twilight’s breakdown continued.
“I’m just as bad as them! I didn’t fight them, I didn’t beat them up, I didn’t ask them to surrender. I killed them all and Celestia forgive me, I’d do it again!” Twilight’s voice cracked and she sank down to the marble floor with her hooves over her head and wept as she relived the moments she had tried desperately to hide from her friends. An even greater sense of dread began to fill her as her friends now knew the truth about the monster she had become.
“Twilight?” Fluttershy’s question was quiet but right beside Twilight which caused her to scramble backwards.
“No, stay back!” Twilight yelled as she pushed herself into a corner. “I’m a monster! Monsters don’t deserve friends! You’ll all get hurt and—“
“Twilight Sparkle,” The yellow Pegasus snapped and her eyes took on an edge. “Do you really think that you get complete control over friendships? That you get to choose when they end because you think that it’s no longer convenient for somepony else to be friends with you? No. I am not here to judge you for making a hard decision in an impossible situation.” Fluttershy had closed the distance to Twilight before allowing her gaze to soften as she wrapped the unicorn in a hug. “I’m here because I consider you my friend and it hurts when I see my friends in pain. Nothing will change how I feel, Twilight.”
“She’s right, sugarcube,” Applejack agreed as she stepped forward and put a comforting hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do but you got it all wrong. Being friends is a two-way road. A wagon pulled by two is half as hard to pull.”
Spike and Rarity joined the group hug shortly after followed by Rainbow Dash. My friends… my friends, was all Twilight could think as all the stress of the past couple of weeks bled out of her. It feels like we’re missing somepony. “Wait, where’s Pinkie?”
And then the whole hall exploded into confetti and streamers, and a giant banner fell from the ceiling that read, “Welcome back, Twilight!”
“Welcome back, Twilight!” Pinkie squealed as she somehow sprouted from the epicenter of the group hug. “I knew you’d find your way back even if you needed just a little help along the way! For a party I’d normally bring a cake but that’s not what you need right now. What you need right now is a big hug…” The pink party mare followed her statement with just such a hug, “… and a good night’s sleep!” A hoof wave pointed back to the center of the hall where six sleeping bags now rested along with Spike’s basket.
“Thank you, girls… thank you so much,” Twilight sobbed as the hug finally dispersed and Fluttershy began to inspect her hooves. Her gaze fell on the bag and she toyed briefly with trying the empowerment spell again in the morning. No… I don’t think I need it anymore. This feeling, the magic of friendship is all I need now.
------
Twilight’s eyes opened to reveal the night’s sky around her in every direction. The marble floor of the great hall as well as the decaying walls and roof of the hall were nowhere to be seen.
“Hello? Is there anypony here?” Twilight asked, and a small amount of fear began to build in her mind as she realized that she was likely dreaming. She whirled in place to spot whatever horror from her memories was coming to haunt her when she caught sight of a familiar and comforting sight.
Celestia and Luna sat a small distance away, and dozens of pictures whirled around them like a tornado. Some of the scenes were from her childhood while others were from her time spent in Ponyville with the Elements. And a precious few were from her time on Earth with the humans, including the memories she dearly wished she could forget. All the images vanished and the princesses looked to Twilight and smiled. “Twilight Sparkle, I have never been more proud of you,” Celestia said and it was hard not to bask in the warmth of her approving smile.
“But why? You gave me Starswirl’s spellbook and I wasn’t able to cast any of the spells in it,” Twilight admitted with some reluctance, and her confusion intensified when Celestia and Luna shared a knowing glance.
“The spells in Starswirl’s book are tests,” Luna explained, and she raised a hoof to halt Twilight’s building protest at failing to cast it. “You passed the test when you realized that you no longer needed what you so desperately sought from the book. After your… recent difficulties we had worried that you would choose the path of power. I am glad that you did not.”
“We’ve prepared a gift for you, Twilight. When you wake, you will find yourself revitalized and more powerful than you were before. The damage you suffered from your recent ordeals will be gone, as though they never had been,” Celestia’s horn began to glow along with Luna’s, and Twilight felt warmth begin to flood her body.
“And… the nightmares? Will they go away?”
The two princesses shared a glance before Celestia answered regretfully, “No, Twilight, I am afraid they will not. The scars that you carry in your memories can only be healed by time and a very different kind of magic. Hold your friends close and trust them, their friendship is a greater magic than anything Starswirl or even myself created by ourselves.”
“Thank you, I will.”
Twilight vanished in a flash of golden light, leaving the two princesses alone in the starfield.
“Do you think that she is truly ready for this?” Luna asked her sister.
Celestia nodded but she didn’t meet Luna’s gaze. “She will need to be prepared for what lies ahead.”
------
The first indication that Twilight was back in her conscious mind was the sharp pain she felt just behind her shoulder. She drowsily rolled over to her other side and was rewarded with a similar pain on her other side. Oh right, I’m sleeping out in the ruins with the girls. I suppose it makes sense that there’s an uncomfortable lump underneath my sleeping bag. I must have been really tired to have fallen asleep on it without noticing it.
The sounds of voices nearby caused Twilight to slowly crank open her eyelids, only to slam them shut again as daylight immediately gave her a splitting headache. Ugh, how long did I sleep? Twilight asked herself as she stretched as much as the sleeping bag would allow before slowly crawling out. She tried to say ‘good morning, girls’ but it came out as, “Gmmn, gulls.”
All conversation stopped completely as Twilight again opened her eyes. The Elements and Spike stared wide-eyed at Twilight (except for Pinkie, who grinned), which elicited a head-tilt from Twilight. “Uh… good morning, girls? What? What’s wrong?”
Rarity, who had been in the process of styling her mane, turned her mirror towards Twilight without a word.
“Okay, okay, I get it, I need to brush my mane. I’ll get to it as soon as we get home,” Twilight said as she caught sight of her wildly out of control mane. She subtly turned to the side to see if the scar on her barrel was still there but one of her wings was in the way.
But one of her wings was in the way.
One of her wings.
Her wings.
“WHAT!?” Twilight screamed, before fainting dead away.
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Good evening folks!
So here it is, the long promised Broken, and second interquel after Stardust. I had a lot of things to cover for this comment so you'll have to forgive me if I'm longwinded.
This story was hard for me to write because of my personal experiences with mental illness. I doubt very much that anyone here would make this mistake, but mental illness is just that: An illness. If left untreated it can ruin your life or end it. The horrible things that go through a person's mind can be absolutely terrifying for them, especially when they think they have no one to turn to. They will often convince themselves that even if they do have someone to confide in, they either would not understand or they just wouldn't care.
If someone in your life, a friend, family member or even an acquaintance or coworker confides in you about something that is seriously bothering them, the best thing you can do is listen and take what they say seriously. More often than not they aren't asking for criticism and misplaced advice can often result in a negative result and for the love of god don't try to belittle what's happening to them.
Well, I don't intend for this to end up like a public service announcement so I'll just tie things up here. I hope everyone enjoys!
IT'S HERE! ALL PRAISE TO ARAD!
I was wondering when we'd see more Stardust
and I wanted to sleep tonight...
For some reason I thought this was going to be a one shot.4308046
It is. I just forgot to flip the story to completed. >_>
4308049
Troll level:
So, Mente Materia early next month right? That's what you said? The Hype Train keeps on rollin'!
-smiles- This is why I loved Stardust.
But I am confused, are both sequels to stardust atm important to read for what I hope is a sequel that isn't a one shot?
4308147
Fortitude Amicitia and Broken are interquels, technically sequels to Stardust. The -true- sequel to Stardust will be Mente Materia, which will start next month. :)
Good read, Arad. It's good to have another fic to stave off the hunger for Mente Materia.
I'mma be straight with you Arad. That brought a tear to my eye.
This series has quickly become my favorite on this site, and this did not disappoint. Tying in universes, closing up plot arcs, seriously, I can't wait for the next multi-chapter installment. I hope you enjoy writing this as much as I enjoy reading this, because it is magnificent.
4308163 Thank you for clearing that up for me.
So Awesome!
I hope the Little Mat Doll makes an appearance in the sequel. Lana will die laughing at the embarrassment of Mat.
SO MUCH HYPE!!!!
4308012 I too used to suffer from a severe mental illness: depression. I didn't tell anyone (friends, family, etc), the pain and sorrow festering in my heart like an infected wound... weighing down my soul like a stone that was dragging further into the cold and icy darkness with no light of hope in sight.
It got so bad I even left a note for my mother telling her that by the time she read this note I would be gone from the world... she came up the stairs to find me a sobbing mess who felt like such a coward: a coward who couldn't plunge the butcher knife he brought with him through his heart to make the 'pain' go away forever.
After that scare, she got me help. With the help of psychotherapy, medicine, loving family, and supportive friends I am now a regular guy: I can get sad without it crushing me.
So here's to you, me, and others who've gone through the dark maze that was a broken human mind... and come through the other side fixed (with the cracks still showing here and there) and able to cope.
I am afraid for my emotions at the mere sight of this story...
Nice read. Sadly it's going to take more than a new set of wings for Twilight to really fly. But, that's what good friends are for. Mine have surely helped keep me above the earth when I felt low enough to want to put myself under it.
Some demons never really die and can never truly be silenced.
Looking forward to more, keep up the great work.
I noticed this.
Probably meant "shop" there.
Also
Should probably have single quotes around that or italics or something since it's a thought but that's one of the looser rules of writing.
I’d be all the bits in the world that there’s a spell that can fix this
She tried to run from the center of the hall bout found that her front hooves
1. Bet.
2. But.
Oh Twilight, you are going to get through this even if you believe that violence is wrong, it really isn't. Wait, that came out wrong... Fighting to protect what you cherish the most does not make you a monster in the least. Hold strong Twilight because even if enemies are on the way, you know that some new friends will not be far behind to help.
Oh god why do I write such sappy comments when I feel such sad?!
Very well made. You said it, mental illness is just that, an illness. If anyone here argues with that? What do they know.
I could go on a lengthy tirade about every single thing you did right, but I wouldn't know where to begin. Plus I'm coughing up a lung so I really should get to sleep. Thank you for this story, eagerly
looking forward to Mente Materia next month!
Silly Twilight, unicorns can't be currency!
Edit: Darn, 4308397 beat me to it.
I think you forgot to put an "and" here.
Should be "it's"
I hope that ship doesn't have any whales in it!
We have the points, all that is left is the next part. The Expansion is coming... we await "For What Lies Ahead"
"I’d be all the bits in the world that there’s a spell that can fix this!"
Should be bet
When ever I read these Stardust stories it makes me want to play XCOM.
It makes me want to annihilate those doggone aliens,
and then it reminds me of all those cool solders i've lost.
100+ Kills and 40+missions is a good long run. R.I.P. Col. Dekker.
That was a fun read! And now we have answers to a few of the questions that the last chapter of Stardust brought up! Excellent!
Is, is, is this it??? Nononononononono, this can't be it, this can't be it for the series, please tell me there is an actual sequel in the works, pleeeaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssseeee.
Sir, I would demand more, but that would be rude. So I shall email you a formal request to devote every second of your being to writing more and more of this.
HA! I BEAT GHOST HERE!!!
Anyways, that was... nice. A good set up for the future, but even with that understanding, I can't help but feel that there needs to be just a little more here, and I hate myself for it.
Looking forward to what you do next!
please continue
Looks like she was firing blanks (and Blancs) in multiple ways today...
Twilight never asked for this. (trip across the stars) Or this.(scar) Well, maybe this.(doll) But never these. (wings)
side note: XCOM: Enemy Unknown and Deus Ex: Human Revolution share a composer.
In the description:
Add apostrophe at the end.
Chapt. 1:
It's
Owlowiscious
Use comma instead of question mark?
Please take this in the best way possible, but *fav'd before reading*.
Normally a bit of a no-no for me, but I liked stardust so much that I know it will be a forgone conclusion.
4308790
The story stands on its own, and doesn't need my commentary. Though I will say one thing, PTSD is a bitch.
Nope. I read it right when it came out and finished it a little over half an hour ago. Just didn't feel the need to comment
Two songs that Sparks might find some comfort in:
[youtube=FtnWMCjHyQA]
[youtube=djVCwNVn1Uc]
Booo Alicorn Twilight.
Way to give a mentally unstable person the powers of a god, you dingus ponies.
Apparently the requirements for becoming an alicorn is remarkably low.
I mean come on, how long was she back for?
One day in Ponyville after all that shit on Earth and poof, wings?
Those scars she has run deeper than what little time she spent with her friends can fix.
Honestly, I think this chapter would have been better off with as a conversation between Twilight and Discord.
Because out of all of them, I somehow feel that Discord would be the most understanding.
4308993
One of these days Champ, I WILL beat you to a damned good soldier fic!
4309038
Impossible. My intel services are better
As I thought, a very nice piece finishing twilights first tour with XCOM.
I have to admit, I'd theorized that some of her "episodes" (to avoid spoilers) might be discord giving her a little push, but it's really hard to say.
I definitely look forward to her re-uniting with her xcom friends. I'd love to see her talk out her problems with Ray, following up on their relationship on earth.
And I had to admit, I was half expecting pinkies surprise to trigger some form of PTSD, glad for her that it didn't.
Anxiously looking forward to the sequel!
~Shaiden
... Meanies? I never thought I'd hear Dash say that. Pinkie, yes. Dash, no. Jerk may fit better.
As for Alicorn Twi... I'm okay with it. The problem I did have with it was that I highly doubted that she got to be princess in the same way she had in the show, which she didn't as this chapter shows. As for the show's take, I felt she never really did anything to deserve the status or would make a good ruler. This Twilight is a bit more deserving I think. About the only thing I didn't like in this was the lack of Elements of Harmony blowing Twilight up. The way you portrayed it was Celestia being able to turn ponies into alicorns on a whim. I always figured the Elements had something to do with it, like their magic needs to be present for the transformation to occur.
Anyway, nice little piece and I hope to see a true sequel soon. I also would like to see Twilight tell her friends about Earth. It wouldn't be action filled, but it would be nice to see how they react to the stuff Twilight experienced.
4309115
That is a very good idea actually.
4308993
Thank you for posting those songs. Been listening to them since I saw the comment come up.
4309115
Given what's coming, there has to be a certain element of 'need more heavy hitters go go go' to Celestia and Luna's timing here.
And now I can see them racing around franticly, trying to find enough alicornication candidates to fit out a full squadron. And being forced to make ... hard choices.
"Blueblood? Ugh. Alright"
"Your maid? Really? Guess we'll take what we can get."
"Only one other Element-bearer qualifies? Well, could be wor- PINKIE PIE?!"
4309212
Military artists are some of my favorite musicians, bar none. Most of their songs are all about looking out for your brothers- and sisters-in-arms. I know several vets who are still alive today thanks to that kind of music.
*reads feature box description*
ohh that's some hot SadPorn right there, gimmie
*clicks*
sequel to STARDUST, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT-
*punches hole in tablet from trying to favorite so hard*
uhhh... I'm not really sure what just happened with the wings there... why was it necessary for Twi to get Alicorned' in this continuity? if it was just to get her body/ magical power back to full strength, it seems a bit overkill. i suppose it could have been to align with canon, but I think that ship sailed.... a while ago. unless you have a better reason, in which case more power to ya!
Yeah i definitely like this version of alicornification more than the cannon one.
4309021
What Celestia and Luna need now are ponies capable of standing up to the Etrhereals when they come knocking though, more than anything else. Twilight is obviously an immense asset in this regard, especially with her newfound determination to do whatever it takes to protect her home, even if she finds killing distasteful - or more like, it's especially because she finds it distasteful that they feel confident about unlocking her nascent alicorn potential.
And let's face it, this doesn't "really" change Twilight's threat level as leveraged against ponies (but helps against the aliens, which is the prime concern) - if she were to go on a madness inducted murderstomp through the streets of Ponyville, no one would have been able to do a thing about it anyway, regardless of her being an unicorn or alicorn. You would need Celestia and/or Luna either way to reign her in, were she to go on a rampage - in this sense, she wasn't granted anything that she couldn't already do anyway.
And she hardly needs Discord of all things to bother her now, considering he is at the root of all that she went through. Unless he plans to serve as a punching bag. Approval from Celestia means the world to Twilight though, and considering how long they have lived and what they have done in the past, the princesses should be perfectly capable of understanding what Twilight is going through and how to talk to her about it.
Especially considering the hints about Celestia's darker past - Twilight probably hasn't even made a dent in her teacher's killcount, and if Celestia were to volunteer the information that she has killed before (not necessarily the circumstances), that would be all the confirmation Twilight's mind needs that she can and will turn out fine in the end - after all, despite what she has had to do, Celestia is the most perfect pony she knows and the guiding light of Equestria, right?
Eh, Fulfill Your Destiny does free up a suit of Archangel armor, but if you've got a Unicorn in the first place it's for the spells. Arcane Stockpile is the superior Colonel promotion.
Mind you, if it comes up in the roulette all bets are off.
i1368.photobucket.com/albums/ag163/AlphaChurch0/HumanizedPinkiePie-TearsandGummysComfort_zps30b873fe.jpg
Damn. Not even Pinkie was immune to Twilight's absolute despair. That line is probably my favorite not just for the raw emotion it entails but because it hits so close to home for a lot of people. When people experience a crisis of this magnitude (war veterans returning with PTSD, life-threatening diagnosis and severe depression to name a few) friends and family can sometimes see it eating away at them, consuming the person they once knew.
And although I agree with your advice about being an open ear for those in distress, I think anyone in such circumstances has a vital role to play in their own recovery. I believe Fluttershy said it best near the end :
Being a pillar of support usually comes with its own injuries and those with the trouble need to realize that, not only are they loved, but their pain harms more than themselves. Establish empathy with those trying to help and the one in trouble is more likely to admit something is wrong and help take steps to fix things.
And on that note, I think having Fluttershy drive this point home was a great touch on your part. Celestia said she'd be the one to show Discord the true power of friendship and it came to pass. Despite all the horrors Twilight witnessed and inflicted, Fluttershy refused to let that break them apart and stood fast beside one she cared for. Celebrating each other's triumphs and supporting them in their darkest hours. That, for me, is what makes friendship magic.
I can imagine Discord watching the scene from above and admitting he lost his own bet.
Well played, Fluttershy. Well played.
i1368.photobucket.com/albums/ag163/AlphaChurch0/wellplayed_zps934eb8c4.jpg