A short summery of the day in the life of the changeling queen.
Just did this to have some fun didnt really take to seriously lol
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I like this fic so far.
Hi there!
My name is DashieReviews. Judging by my name I review just published stories, just like yours. And I have a few things to point out to you for future stories.
Just one of each word is needed beside another. There is chances that you miss- type and don't see. But man, that's the first paragraph.
Spellcheck. It's an existing thing.
No comment.
Wow.....
Really, this is getting out of hand.
If your ever wanting on Equestria Daily...... Your gonna have to take it up a notch.
Wow... I'm only on the fourth paragraph..
Your scaring me with lack of grammar.

And PLEASE tell me that you will not do this again!
This is hurting me so much, I'm crying
Look man, it's not like he's a penguin of something
As your probably thinking. Where's the error? Well, it didn't state that Chrysalis had her breakfast. That is one other thing you need to keep up. If a character is discussing an event, make sure that the story mentions it before they discuss it. Or if they are asking about a not yet discussed event, make sure it is mentioned later in the story.
I'm definitely not going to be mad at anyone if they dislike this.
If something is like that, I've stated it before. More than once.
Make it stop!!
Who actually said that? Confusion HELL!!
I'm just saying but I could contact LittleShyFim and ask if he could do an

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH YOUR FIC
Look dude, I'm not trying to be mean.
Someone please rewrite this Fic!
Do I need to repeat myself?
IT WAS THE LAST PARAGRAPH BRO!
Ok, rating time.
Grammar- 4.5
Paragraphs- 3
Story- 5
I'm sorry dude. If you want better views. Be more interesting.
Tips for next Fic.
1. Get a Proofreader and Editor!
2. Don't get on my nerves. ( Make a better story )
3. Longer stuffs man!!
Overall, this is a complete buck off for me.
Until next time..........we will meet again
4297832 Did you even read it?
4298734 Yes. And I don't like saying nasty things online so when I comment on a story I tend to say something nice.
4298397 There's a right way and a wrong way to criticize, and you dun goofed. It started out well; I really like the organized way you presented your review, but the last three segments you quoted did not include constructive criticism-- you just whined and put the author down. Those three I'm talking about are not even errors at all; they are a different writing style from the one you were taught. Your way of writing is not the only correct way. All they really need is a few commas, but you failed to say that, nor did you offer any other sort of correction. You're right about the earlier sections where you pointed out the capitalization, missing word, and spelling errors, except where you used the word "loose" instead of "lose", but I assume that's a typo.
Ah, a very nice story!
Congratulations!
>>Death Moon Thank you
Not bad, I don't know were you are going with this but you seem to be developing a head canon. My advice is to read your work out loud it should stop most mistypes and structure errors. Also for a one shot you should have something happen in your third act, even is slice of life of the sake of it fic. Don't let that other reviewer get you down many of his points were style points not errors.
4304368
Thanks i was thinking of maybe expanding the afternoon. but it was just for shits and giggles. but i have to ask how do you reply to people with their names and not with numbers
Not a bad start, but there are some punctuation needs here and there.
She never puts anything I her mouth, yet brushes her teeth twice. Bug* or feature? You decide!
*Well obviously there is a Bug involved... but not necessarily an error.
What was the point again?
9291504
The point of what? The relocation?
9292849
I think i couldn't find access to the story... wasn't doing anything for me.