To Ember, ponies are the boogie men, villains in story books, and alien creatures that roam the land. His perception is radically changed after he captures one alive; and they are nothing like he imagined. Now, to fulfill the promise he made to the pony, he will risk his life to get her safely home.
This story is rated teen due to the following reasons:
brief violence
alcohol consumption
Adult themes
This story DOES NOT contain the following:
clop
sex
erotic content
guts / gore
(Special thanks to AlicornPriest for proof reading help)
Chapters (28)
It's pretty well written. my only complaint is that during the fight scene, you wrote that ember's tongue was QUICKLY covered in dirt. probably just a personal quirk, but I just don't like that word. Fight scenes in general are fast paced and hectic. Quickly just slows down the precess of reading and does the opposite of what the word should do. You did an awesome job describing the dog fight in the first "person". A lot of fan-fic writers get too descriptive in their fights and describe things that the character couldn't possibly know from what they perceived. I will definitely read the rest of this story.
200 views! Thank you to everyone!
How does this have so few likes and views? Your world building is really well done. I like how the DDs are portrayed as spartan-like (slave owning, warrior tribes with not a lot of love for the arts) and their estranged relations with the ponies mostly caused by historical (and canon) events.
It seems to me that the main character is a bit different for owning books and wanting to travel, but I'm not sure if that was intended or if I'm making too many assumptions.
Still, I think this story is off to a good start and I'll probably finish it today in just a few sittings if you keep me as intrigued as I am now.
Very good so far
Ember is quite the softy for the little filly. I can see this causing a huge mess soon.
This tale is making me more and more invested as it goes on. I like it a lot!
I am also very interested in the pony-dog relationship. It seems as though the dogs live in a loose city-state like society with a empirical center while ponies have stronger connections to Canterlot and therefore better communication. But it still seems like in both scenarios, very little is known outside the borders. Little is given, but it all adds up or implies a bigger picture. I think that is a key to good story-telling.
Uh-oh. I know what's coming. Shouldn't have peeked at the chapter titles.
Oh no! I can't put this down! I must know what happens next!
I can't see the dates when this was updated on my phone, but I really hope this story isn't dead or abandoned. I'm really loving this story!
Oh no! What will happen?!
Small edit:
". Kitty Hawk munched happily on his grains"
Should be HER grains
4395327
Not enough. This deserves more!
Oh man. Things seem to improve before danger announces its presence. I really want to see how this story goes!
You can't leave this unfinished! The action scene was fantastic and flowed so elegantly! I am hurt that I must stop here! This is one of the best action/adventure stories I've read on this site.
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You know...I think just because of that comment I will complete this story.
Omg! Best story every!!!! Thank you for writing. Whyisn't this story featured! I love this...
This made today that much better.
Holy crap! Kitty Hawk's name instantly reminds me of Puppy Smiles!
5401718
lol
inspiration for her name came from the P-40
500 VIEWS!
Thank you, Oh Thank you!
Alright! Awesome chapter!
Poor Ember needs rest, but now there is a bounty on him and his friends are being used against him! Things just keep escelating.
Very well done, just three little errors:
Turning away from Kitty Hawk, I devouring my meal in secret.
Devoured
His paws still wrapped their digits my throat.
Needs the word "around"
I forgot the third one.
So excited to see this continue. I patiently wait for the next chapter.
Enjoy your Christmas break!
Yes, we need more dogs.
5449954
D-Dogs haven't been nearly explored enough and there isn't a lot of canon on them. I can't see why there arn't more stories about them.
Omg, update on NEW Year's day! Thanks!
5450390
are there any groups set up specifically for D-Dog stories?
Oh snap!? Who dis guy? When you think that things will finally relax. Poor Ember won't get a break.
I can't wait to see what happens next and I really hope they make it to Equestria OK.
Go, Ember, Go!
What a persistent prick
I was trying to save comments for the end but NOOOOO!!!! He CAN'T give Kitty Hawk up!! Aside from being flat adorable, she has a GREAT name!!
I keep picturing my husky and chihuahua as Ember and Kitty Hawk. They mightn't be the correct colouring (or species) but they fit the description of a big, tough manly-man dog and his violently protected tiny, bouncy shadow. Looks like Sgt. Bilko and Skeeter are gaining new nicknames.
5380757 So, all we have to do is gush over how incredible this read is to see it finished? Do you have a spare week or so? I can go on for quite a bit but maybe the best way to sum up how I feel is this: I have never, ever considered an unfinished story by an author I am unfamiliar with for the favourite shelf until today. This one was placed in favourites at the beginning of chapter 4. Seriously, it is almost scary how engrossing and entertaining this is; bonus points for making me love D-dogs.
Gah! It ends too soon! So many questions but the biggest is this, What were Kitty's folks and the rest of the ponies doing in Dog territory? Please, please continue this story. This take on the d-dogs could open up a whole new sub-set of stories, the characters are well thought out and likeable, the social structures believable and motivations honourable. A trip to the Empire after Ember returns Kitty- maybe a diplomatic visit- could be a satisfying adventure in itself. You have created a fascinating world, I'd love see it explored further.
-incoming minor rant-
it slightly confuses me, why diamond dogs use weapons as often as i see them in many fanfictions. From what i know of them, they possess claws that help them dig through solid stone, so why aren't they using these, as well as their tunneling ability more often in fighting or warfare. Those claws of theirs could likely mess up armored targets faster than many other weapons made for it, not to mention what they could do to lighter targets.
Now there is probably a reason or three as to why they don't, as well as this just being only my personal opinion. You don't necessarily have to give this any credibility.
Take it however you will.
Couple of errors:
desolate land.
see, my father
Since you didn't put I link, I'll just mention it here. There are several places where the name Spoke is Spike instead in this chapter. It was kinda confusing how often it changed between the two.
7243656
Probably an auto correct problem. I'll fix it. Thanks
occupy instead of occupying
but if he's beaming he's already smiling? you mean his smile widens to a grin?
7243763
really, thank you for your help. Im glad others find the mistakes I've misted and help me tighten down on my grammar.
Now I am up to speed to this story. I like it, a few grammar error but nothing that disturb me. Waiting for the next chapter. Will be intresting what will happen when they rech Eqquestria. Keep up the good work.
7248064
*reach*
Very good ^^ looking forward to next chapters :3
7249486
What do you mean?
Finally caught up. This story is so good. I'm really looking forward to seeing this to the end.
7249555
I mean, rech isn't how one spells reach
I only even commented on it because he was talking about grammar.
900 views, Awesome!
The google docs won't open. So
"They're" or "They are"
7266096
Thanks for the heads up. I'll be sure to put a link to all of the stories in the bottom
Emperor Uni and The Wicked Pony of the West.
Capitalist pony.
Only puppy smiles could slaughter all of them
I'm loving the story, can't wait to see how it will continue.
Good to see this story alive again.