• Member Since 29th Dec, 2016
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

ThePanzerLover


Voted most likely to fall asleep in class.

T
Source

A Knight was summoned to help Nightmare Moon take the throne, but when she fails her summon remains, following his last order to stop all beings from entering the castle while his Queen fights for the throne, but upon Nightmare's return he receives new orders...

(Light Gore in select chapters)

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 36 )

I'm hopping in for the ride looks good so far .

Every time I look at "How to write fiction" guides, I notice the same bit of advice: "Don't be afraid of the word 'said.' It's how you indicate who is speaking." And every time I wonder whether it's really that much of a problem. Yeah, some people write conversations without using it for a little too long sometimes. But how bad could it really be?

Welp. Now I know.

the smallest of indications that it was a living being, a small vertical slash across where its eyes may have been,

I believe you mean "horizontal". Vertical is straight up and down.

8207311 Ill try to keep that in mind, thanks for the feedback

I've always been a sucker for stories with knights. This looks like it's going to be an interesting ride; can't wait to see where it goes :raritywink:

Very curious, I eagerly await the next instalment.

Can not wait to see where this goes.

Great story matey, please continue.

Yep just was waiting for the black knight bit

You. You get ALLLLLL THE FAVORITES! (Which is just one. But still!)

Said it updated but I don't see a new chapter
Did changing the picture update it ?

Sorry for the long wait! But I have excuses! Excuse A: I moved to Houston (4 hours away) and Excuse B: I got a new job which is Monday-Saturday 7AM-7PM (This probably would have taken longer if not for Hurricane Harvey). Big thanks to Mango Dazzle (AKA Knock off Ice Cream Flavor) for helping me edit and prereading this chapter, although she was asleep for the last edit.

Before you ask yes I'm fine Hurricane Harvey didn't effect me for the most part.

Please put questions, suggestions, etc (Especially your take on the darker tone of the first part of this chapter) Or just hate/love comments, I enjoy reading them!

Oh! And I edited Chapters 1 and 3, 3 to clear some things up and 1 because I needed a break from writing this one. Only minor changes to 3 but decent sized changes to 1.

Aaaand there is 3 references in this Chapter, 2 is obscure references to other fanfics and 1 is a popular TV show!

8419471
Aye just a question, was the horse the knight rode on named Midnight, or Ebony?
Because both were used during that flashback/dream sequence.

I'm really enjoying the story so far and I do hope the littlest helmet of craziness gets away to proclaim undying vengeance against the guards that dared to use him as a spear warmer :]

8469739
Its supposed to be Midnight, ill fix that later today, thanks for catching that! And you'll find out in the next chapter, that's about a week or so away. I wanted to release a new one shot before that.

Thanks for Reading!

It's still good but the 'ye olde English' seems a bit over the top.

There are a few spelling errors like twilight gaping. But it was still very entertaining.

wasn't his armor at a ...wait no he had traveled the whole way by neck...hmmm

Are you still planning on updating this?

8778826
Hello! Apologies for the late reply! To answer your question yes, I have been extremely busy with work, school, and writing other things (along with refining earlier chapters). At the moment I actually have two chapters in the works, one is nearly done while the other is just an outline.

since it's been so long mind giving a recap of all the important things that have happened? like why Luna is on the moon again but for some reason, Celestia thinks the elements can cure her...

also i like the idea that the nightmare version of both of them are their war masks

Shakespearean language is hard to pin down without studying it. It, like any language or dialect, has grammerical rules for where words go. Also, our split personality protagonist has very modern speech patterns for a 16 century knight. Most often, shakespearean language sounds awkward because it's forcing modern language to sound olden.

9101412
Woops! I worded it improperly, shes not on the moon atm, just in hiding. I can see how the wording makes it sound like they sent her back, ill fix it

9101543
I'm too lazy to learn a new language lol. Also yes, that will be explained! Eventually...

9102264
much better, a small bit of wording can go a long way it seems, also this has been bothering me for a small bit now, why is the knight's normal personality still sane? it's like he's just recently been possed or something, you'd think, after all the years inside that suit and in the backseat of his own mind, he'd have changed, also this is another thing, even when fighting beside someone you hate, war brings people together, sure the knight is possessing him, but when the knight was fighting for his very life (in the past) the normal guy would grow somewhat attached, as the knight is in a way defending him, and is the only companion he has, you could almost say he would have Stockholm syndrome by now...but no, he's completely normal (just a little strange by human standards)

9102811
I'm afraid answering that would be a bit of a Spoiler. But if you REALLY wanna know (as its probably not going to be said outright) read below. But if you're talking about the starting portion of some chapters, those are actually just flashbacks.

The Knight is actually a single soul split in half, the side that is not always yelling and angry is the original souls Militant, bloodthirsty, rage filled, soldier side, so emotions like happiness, love and (to an extent) independent thought, are non existent to that side, hence why he occasionally comes off as stupid and insane. While the other is his happier, more imaginative, but also scared, less stable side, swinging from terrified to joyful (and vice versa) on occasion. The reason the angry side of the soul cant grow to like the other is because he literally cannot grow closer to him. Imagine their relationship like "I HATE EVERYTHING (except Queen Nightmare) BUT I HATE YOU SLIGHTLY LESS" as the Militant side can see the advantages his imaginative side has, without openly admitting it.

9103193
angry and bloodthirsty people are the most passionate, as they need to be very emotional to be bloodthirsty so that kinda goes against itself, but I think I get what you mean, although he came off more silly rather than no nonsense....might need to think of that in the future

9103319
I'm not saying hes not emotional, im saying his emotion are focused solely on certain ones. Also unfortunately yes hes going to continue coming off as silly as I reeaaalllly dont wanna make this story too violent (got my fill of Violence in my other fanfic, Gigantomachy), I thought about letting him go ham, but imo it would be a bit too much.

9103774
I can understand that, but if your going to give him a violent past (such as what those books imply) then it will clash, like this other story I'm reading, you can't imply what someone is like but then never give any examples of that behaviour, this one guy in that other story is described as a psychopath that enjoys killing people, yet there are no examples to back this up, there are actually most examples refuting this rather than backing it up, my point is if you give a character a reputation (or at least imply they have this reputation) but then write them in a way that doesn't relate to that reputation, you'll get someone people not fully enjoying the character (i wrote this just before going to bed, pls ignore any spellings mistakes or the like)

9103848
That IS true... Ill have to think about that some more, I don't really want anyone to die tbh, but we shall see.

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