Richard Emmerson, a retired US cavalryman, and his somehow talking horse, Coal, are transported to Equestria. Their circumstances lead them to adventure all around the land and cause quite a commotion. Join them in their undertaking to find a way back home as they dodge all sorts of obstacles in this seemingly hostile environment.
Author's Update: This story has been placed on hiatus for the time being. I am more focused and have more drive to finish "Put it to Rest" at the present moment. In addition, this was my very first story and contains a lot of nonsensical plot points, weird characters just popping out of nowhere, and plots that I basically glued together with a bunch of Elmer's glue and threw it in. I hate to admit it, but when I started this story, I was in my edgy teen stage and it CLEARLY shows. I'm still trying to figure out where I'm taking this story or if I want to continue it at all. If I end up cancelling it, I will make sure to release what I envisioned ended up happening to Richard in the end. I'll likely rewrite it as well since I think the concept of an old US Cavalryman engaging in Equestrian society is an interesting one, just not well-executed here.
you have my attention
The tension is killing me! Darn you cliffhangers!
Coal is hilarious.
8048946
Good to hear
8048402
I've already started the next chapter. Should be out soon!
pppffft! UP YOURS biatch!! i did u a favor!!!
coal is weird i was really thinking of the funny silent type of sorts of character for him (like droopy) then with a physical attributes of thirty/thirty from bravestarr, then he gets all emo on rich WTF!?
i mean he was beside or with rich in his adventures like The Indian Wars, The cattle driving jobs and Albert by which he being rich's horse and cant speak around those times could have ran away or not budge when rich rode him or i dunno what do horses do to their riders if they dont like them anymore, point is coal still remained in rich's side despite the brutality and stuff, then GOES all EMO on 1 dog or a few that clearly threatened an entire town and nearly killed them off due to raiding the towns refrigerators!
that i think is a necessary evil at work there!
yeah right! watevs! screw you horse! i do what i want!
No mention of the cloud of sulfurous-smelling gray smoke? If you've ever shot off one of those, you'll know what I mean.
Oh snap......
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not the chickens!
dayum!
that was the best part of this chapter! really had me on the edge of my seat literally!
well hopefully rich wont have to steal anymore chicken in the future......i feel sorry for fluttershy
nice chapter!!!
woot~!
weird.... i did not pegged twilight to be that brave wil that be the norm on this?
would've atleast expected from her to drag around the others as well not just by herself on this even though its a "secret mission" per se.
who knew right?!
woot~!
This is great! love it!
Oh oh, he took Mrs hen, Fluttershy gonna fuck him up.
Holy shit Twilight is dumb, after seeing the aftermath of the diamond dog she gave chase after Richard. Yeah smart move chase the monster that killed over 50 DD
Don't they have hay bacon?
Please continue
8102731
Continue what
Please continue the story.
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Gotcha
nice~!
nothing more to add there!
Shining....
You're an idiot
Don't rush in before thinking over, if the situation you see, is looking peaceful...
This is getting good
Keep it up good sir!
Interesting, looking forward to more content soon
Update?
This story is actually quite phenomenal, I never understood why so many people don't write fics about calvarymen/cowboys and their horses on this site.
I suppose this was inevitable, whenever a story comes along that I enjoy, it always dies off.
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Nah dude. I'm stilll writing for this. Just work and school getting in the way.
8494858
Well that's good to hear, I hope the best for you, and your story.
Trap-door Springfield Rifle, chambered in .45-70 Government. Nice. That thing can probably stomp a Manticore into the ground.
I want more please make more chapters!!
I'm hereby declaring this story deceased. My condolences for your loss.
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You've left it a while like. Fair enough a few months or so, but after a year most stories can be declared dead
Applejack was always one to leap first and look later. It wouldn’t surprise me if she lost her bucking leg because of her stubbornness, as for the Royal Gaurd well it’s good to see them somewhat competent.
I can see this from Shining Armors perspective I suppose depending on the timeline he might still be burning from his failure to protect ponies at his wedding. So this might be seen as a redemption for his past incompetence, Twilight, well she at best has conflicted feelings now. Richard tryed to help and he was hunted for it, now yes he shouldn’t have stolen but he needs to eat after all. It just cost Applejack her bucking season from the looks of it.
I’m worried that Shining might send cocky gaurd stallions to their death to try and capture Richard.
While the whole, "stealing is wrong" is true, I seriously don't think AJ should freak out over a few stolen apples, when she has THOUSANDS to spare. Also SHE attacked first, and broke a few rips, and plenty of bones. All he did was shoot her in the leg. So if anything SHE should be the one charged for assault.
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Ask and you shall receive
peat
one last rub
Questionable, both from an in-universe standpoint (given how much they seem to resort to "sealed evil in a can" tactics) and from a "good writing" standpoint.
Equestria seems to be a "Victorian technology, progressive-end-of-modern society" setting and the U.S.A. is the only developed nation in the world that still allows capital punishment (among other reasons, because it desensitizes the citizenry in a problematic way)... not a surprise though. The rest of the world sees the U.S. as being rather barbaric for a number of reasons. (Capital punishment, second-most guns and gun homicides by a mile, a terribly ineffective educational system paired with ratings-obsessed news media, a culture that takes obsession with celebrity to an unhealthy degree, terrible political corruption, corporate overreach verging on dystopia, even Cuba does a better job of ensuring healthcare for its citizens, etc.)
Just like bringing up charging for non-elective medical procedures or bringing up capital punishment (without them dismissing it after the HiE brings it up) is a sure-fire way to cause a non-American's mind to do a record needle scratch and then jump to the conclusion that it was written by an American who doesn't travel internationally.
Beyond that, the conversation with Twilight gave me the impression that your outlook on crime trends toward barbaric and juvenile. As qazse pointed out, what he did is justifiable as an act of self-defense while Applejack committed assault. (Again, something which gives me the impression that you're American... given what I've seen of how law enforcement behaves in the U.S. compared to other developed nations.)
What's that thing with the teeth?
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Previous chapter homedog. I guess i didn't provide enough description. My bad
9291407
Very true. Applejack attacked the guy without listening to him and could have seriously injured or killed him. It seems like she is the one to blame for this particular mess, but she probably didn't see it that way when telling her story and likely painted Richard as the aggressor.
Some mistakes I noticed while reading:
"Well, why didn't you come ask me? I've could've helped you!"
An quiet ambient noise
-
Overall I quite enjoyed this rewrite, the descriptors used within this chapter really flesh out each scene, thus making them more vivid. With this chapter serving as a catalyst to thrust Rich and Coal unto what could potentially be a grand sweeping adventure, I must say that it has definitely accomplished its primary goal. Overall pacing seemed relatively fine, although I would point out that the character of Twilight seemed a bit too devoid of emotion when she sees Applejack shot, and bleeding profusely; although I wouldn’t necessarily label this as a criticism. I could also say the same thing about Applejack getting shot. However her character is one of strength and mental fortitude, so I can definitely see her trying to push through it all. The only real issue I take is the fact the Big Mac seemed completely oblivious to the noise that a gun shot would produce, although that could potentially be explained as him being far enough away and the Orchard being so large that the sound could have dissipated enough, as to not register as something he should worry about.
In conclusion this chapter did some fantastic things, as well as actually create suspense, with what I’m assuming to become the, or if not one of the main antagonists, alluding to prior experiences in his dream (Which might create a more sympathetic Luna, or at least not willing to completely villainize him as this worlds politics begin to take shape) There’a a lot of promise with this story, and I look forward to continue reading.
A note to the author: I must express surprise that this chapter is even a thing, I would be lying if I said otherwise, as due to the amount of time from the previous chapter nine to this completely reinvisioned one, I just assumed that this story died prematurely like most fics on this site. So with that said, I think congratulations are in order! With my previous critique and praise of this story, I am overjoyed that it still breathes, I find the setting and the character rather interesting, and I definitely look forward to more of this in the future. Thank you for sticking with your mettle, and I’m sorry I didn’t get your message a week ago.