• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Vivid Syntax


Convention Runner, Statistician, and lover of all things Soarburn

T
Source

"When I read their letters... I think about how temporary everything really is."

A lonely princess pores over her studies in a frigid castle, desiring nothing more than the warmth of an old friend. Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Equestria, wears a heavy crown wrought of burdens too numerous to bear, but perhaps a special visitor can ease her pain, if only for a moment.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 25 )

“We can’t spend all our lives trying to keep the pain away. We’ve all been allotted a certain amount of time, and we need to embrace everything that comes with it, good and bad.”

Thank you, Rarity. As I near the end of my allotment, I recognize the wisdom of this statement.

I might just have shipping goggles but did I catch hints of an unrequited crush? Also this was beautiful and sad..

4165268

Thanks for reading. I hope the rest of your time is filled with joy and good friends. :raritywink:

4165591

Maaaaaybe a little, though that wasn't my intention.Thanks for reading!

Very lovely story. I especially liked how the utilisation of a very common trope was done with a nice spin of originality. I haven't really read a sadfic centered around Twilight's immortality like this before, and that's great.

You're killing it man! Can't wait to see what you come up with next :twilightsmile:

I'm not quite sure how I came across this story, but it was an enjoyable read. :twilightsmile:

4165268 Good luck with what time you have left. Enjoy it.

4328652 Thank you! I didn't know there was a whole subgenre of immortal Twilight when I wrote it, but I'm glad it had something original. :raritywink:

4328873 Glad you found it. Thanks for reading!

4350933
Yeah, when I waltzed into the fandom, my first story involved a joke about Applejack's cutie mark not tasting like apples (because she tastes like Apple Jacks, see?). Turns out I was not the first one to make that joke. Or the tenth. Or the hundredth.

But hey, that's half the fun of things. Besides, just because others have done things doesn't mean you can't do them right. :raritywink:

4350943 That's definitely the right attitude. I'm perfectly happy adding my wad of words to the pile, even if it's been done before. :ajsmug:

One of a few stories to hit me hard emotionally. One of a few that remind me of something I try hard to forget. One that reminds me that even if I forget it, it will force me to face it eventually, for all do one day.

-Thank-you for writing this.-

4445446

You're very welcome. I'm glad you found meaning in it, and thanks for reading.

Okay, there's a few things I must go over. Just to note here: most of this stuff is bias.

Hope y'all can read my chicken scratches.

"Y'all" is plural, not singular. It's a contraction of "you all", so... plural. I'm saying this since she's talking to Twilight, and Twilight's only one pony, so yeah.

and I’m just so proud of everything your doing.

*you're

beauuuuutiful

I generally avoid doing this. Why? Because I find it rather annoying when authors stretch words in dialogue, and it's most unprofessional to me.

“Princess Twiiiiiiliiiiiight~!

Using a tilde for dialogue? Interesting move, but pretty ineffective if you're going to put it at the end of the dialogue.

Though her friend was several stories below

Stories? That's used for a narrative or plot. If you want to talk about building levels, it would be storeys. Story is for a narrative, storey is for a physical building level. But then again, storey is how you spell it here in Canada and in the UK. If you live in the United States, they spell it story.

Pff, silly Americans. It's Canada and the UK that spell it right! Storey, not story!

And the words like "valour", "labour", "colour", why do you take out the u? It's supposed to be spelled with the u!

And what about the word "apologise"? Why do you Americans spell it "apologize" with a z! It's with an s, not z.

Spell it riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Ahem, let's continue:

“WHAT WOULD EVERYPONY SAY!?”

I have two very strict rules for my writing style. First: I never capitalize dialogue. Second: I never use interrobangs (!? or ?!). I fucking hate interrobangs! With a passion so hot it would burn Satan!

I never capitalize dialogue for I see it like the "show, don't tell" advice. You're telling me a character is yelling by capitalizing the words. A good author is able to show the audience the character is yelling through descriptions and such.

As for interrobangs, you don't need them. If your character is asking a question, use a question mark. If they yell, exclamation mark. If they yell out a question... exclamation mark. Depending on the structure of the sentence, it would be obvious enough that the character is asking a question so you don't need to add a question mark. Let's look at it:

"WHAT WOULD EVERYPONY SAY!?"

or

"What would everypony say!"

Which sentence seemed neater and more pleasant to read? Well, that's probably subjective, but to me, I'd go for the latter.

--

Okay, that's enough for now. To be fair with you, I liked this story. In fact, I really liked it, much more so than I thought I would (err, no offense). The characterization was spot on, too.

9/10:twilightsmile:

5094475
Hi, SpitFlame! Thanks for reading and for the review, and I'm glad you found some pleasure in it. I'm hoping to rewrite this story over winter break, and I'll definitely take all of your thoughts into consideration.

...though we'll have to agree to disagree on interrobangs. :trollestia:

:(:(:(:(:(

Definitely a favorite from you.

This was a wonderful read. This idea has definitely been done many times before, but I like how delicately you handled it. The letters were all in character, and Rarity's exchange with Twilight near the end was absolutely beautiful. Made me tear up a bit there. :fluttershysad:

Yes, their learning, and I have great faith they’ll all do great things, but… can you keep a secret?”

*they're learning

Rarity’s tone filled with concerned, a

*filled with concern

Probably the best story I've read in a long time that handles Twilight's immortality. Have a fave. :twilightsmile:

5619475

Glad you enjoyed it! One of these days, I want to rewrite it to fix a few problems that were pointed out to me during my first EQD submission, but it's wonderful that you are enjoying it in the meantime. :twilightsmile:

Wow! I can't believe there's only 18 comments on this excellent story. I loved it and it's going on my best bookshelf for short stories.

“We can’t spend all our lives trying to keep the pain away.

Awesome double entendre. Probably my favorite line right there. I almost wonder if you didn't write this whole thing just so you could use that one.

I didn't catch the title drop until the second read through, so I'm very glad I read it again. (It's also why the previous quote is only probably my favorite line and not definitely.) I think I also finally understand now why Rarity winced when she first gave away the umbrella. This story just gets better every time I read it.

This was simply amazing. I usually stay away from fics tagged 'sad', but I thought I'd give this one a read and I'm glad I did.

6099689
Thanks, Mo! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for telling me so. :eeyup:

I reviewed this story as part of Recommended Story Reviews #15.

My review can be found here.

Truly an excellent and original take on a common trope. Well done! :raritywink:

RF2

"We can't spend all our lives trying to keep the pain away. We've all been allotted a certain amount of time, and we need to embrace everything that comes with it, good and bad."

That... might just be the most solid and insightful advice i read over here in FIMFiction. Thank you for this magnificent story. I love the unusual, yet altogether very much enjoyable, take you did on the whole "Twilight outliving her friends" theme. I love it. I love everything about this and so, once again, i thank you for this beautiful story.

Pardon me if i can't give a more well thought-out review, but i am truly at lost of words. Just. Thank you, and keep on writing, my friend!

8139675
I will absolutely keep on writing. I'm touched by your comment, so thank you so much for letting me know that it affected you deeply. :heart:

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