• Member Since 24th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Vivid Syntax

Convention Runner, Statistician, and lover of all things Soarburn


We've all been there. Well, half of us have.

Sunny is an adolescent pegasus, and for him, there's no place more terrifying than the classroom when a certain problem just won't go away.

Inspired by this comic by SorcerusHorserus, who owns the character Sunny (used with permission).

Big thanks to my pre-reader Rubahhitam!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 17 )

Inspired by this comic by SorcerusHorserus, who owns the character Sunny (used with permission).

Wait, that's really from a comic? I thought it was from the actual show.

Merry Feather. This is all Merry Weather's fault!

I feel like this is a typo.

The story as a whole kind of suffered from the whole thing being inside the reader's head. It's a style that I feel like was chosen specifically but to me it felt more distracting overall. By the end when the characters actually started talking to each other it was really noticeable because it felt difficult just to tell where people were talking and where the main character was thinking. I chuckled a few times but I can't say I've ever 100% related to the pain of having a boner in class and fearing being caught due to it always being under the table and nobody noticing.

But it is easy to relate to having your thoughts drift off in the middle of class and before you realize it you're thinking of a very detailed homosexual encounter involving little clothing and that is suddenly more important than the lesson.

The idea is funny enough, but I'm always distracted by how the fandom has equated wings stiff to horny because it doesn't really make much sense to me aside from blood flow and maybe a sensual area? That's more of a personal thing, though.

What if they're not big enough?

Probably the part easiest to relate to of the story and therefore the funniest. Good buildup, too.

As a whole the style of writing itself being 100% the main characters thought process with nothing else made it a bit jarring and noticeable over anything else. I know it isn't a style you normally use which is why I won't fault you for trying something new, but scenes where we hear dialogue of other characters makes it a bit distracting and sort of breaks off the style choice.

Decent story though, got a chuckle out of me which is rare for anything but late 90's sitcoms involving 6 friends these days.

have a Soarburn


I've been there before.


at lest humans wear clothes. Plus wings are harder to hide.

Comment posted by Corvid deleted Apr 18th, 2016

7131794 you seriously think a show on The Hub, by Hasbro, is going to use the phrase 'wing boner?' Dafuq? If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but seriously, they do actually write for their demographic, even if it's adults watching a show for 7 year old girls (obviously that's me, so it's not an insult).

Ms. Tenderheart should really appeal to young stallions my age. That's a psychology thing, right?

There's more to it than that, but to a kid Sunny's age who most likely has yet to learn even most of the basics of psychology, this is pretty accurate. Other factors that contribute to efficiency (mind you, I'm adapting some findings from Industrial/Organizational Psychology, but work and school are similar in many ways, so it might work) include a change in lighting, white noise, expecting a superior's visit, and physical involvement in the work. I think it's part of the reason recess was instituted into elementary schools in the first place, though I haven't yet found any confirmation of that.

I found Sunny's wing-boners to be somewhat relatable, having experienced the human equivalent many times in school and work. The sudden realization that it's happening, the choice between ignoring it and paying attention to it, and the sudden realization that it's gone down again without noticing it. The worst ones are the ones that happen minutes before you have to move around, aren't they? That or when you're already walking/standing/etc.

I had a theory that Merry Feather had the wing boner, and that was why the class was giggling and why she was blushing later, but then I read the comic. Eh, that'd be for an AU.

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now Reviews #76.

My review can be found here.

It's a testament to how good SorcerusHorserus has gotten at drawing ponies. They've really nailed the style, I think.

Thanks for the feedback, and I'm sorry this didn't do it for you. I liked experimenting with first-person stream-of-consciousness, and I'm pretty happy with the result, even if reviews are mixed.

I certainly have, too. Maybe more recently than I'd like to admit. :facehoof:

Such is the world of ponies. :rainbowlaugh:

I think Nova was more referring to the fact that the character looks like it could be from the show. SorcerusHorserus has gotten VERY good at drawing.

I figured I could count on you to fill in the psychology gaps. :raritywink: And I agree – there are some very bad times that it can happen. I would know. :facehoof:

Pressure's on. I really need to be more careful with what I post. :rainbowlaugh: Sorry it didn't do much for you (you're correct about not being the target audience), but thanks for giving it a try, and I appreciate the review!


Pressure's on. I really need to be more careful with what I post.

Tch~ Not going to unfollow you after just one story. :heart:

Sorry it didn't do much for you (you're correct about not being the target audience), but thanks for giving it a try, and I appreciate the review!

Yeah, I'm not really sure what I was expecting when I read this. It made itself pretty clear. :trixieshiftright:


Tch~ Not going to unfollow you after just one story. :heart:

Always comforting to hear. :twilightsmile: I'm going to spend a lot of this week on Sensation, but I've got another one-shot that I want to do in the near future, this one inspired by a podcast's live show. I think it will be more your speed. :raritywink:

I liked this. Like Storm Butt said, this isn't one of the more favourable formats to write in, it does have its moments. This, I find, is one of the harder formats to write in, but you did a pretty good job of it. The thoughts with thoughts parts were a little iffy, because that just goes into total mind-buck territory, but whatever.

As others have said, this is one of the most relatable topics for guys as we all go through this at some point or another. I thought that the working himself into a frenzy over the tiniest thing was spot on for an adolescent's psyche. Worrying about what his peers would think, especially the filly that caused the whole thing. The teacher saw his problem and helped him through it by explaining how it happens to everypony and distracting him so it would go away.

All in all, it's a good piece, no matter what anypony says.


When I first saw this I thought it couldn't be the same comic I read several months before but I recognized the screenshot as a panel from the story and I got excited. I remember this little gag in the story and I enjoyed reading your take on it. Ahhh, the struggles in the life of an excitable teen, or adolescent in my case. XD

That is one impressive train of thought.
I have to medicate to keep my brain from doing that.

Thanks! Glad to hear it was relatable, I suppose. :twilightsmile:

Thank you kindly! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

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