• Member Since 20th May, 2012
  • offline last seen April 8th

Breath of Plagues


I write mostly serious adventure stories and maybe a random feelsy fic now and again. Interested in dark stuff more than anything.

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Source

Shining Armor has been missing for two days now after the final battle of the recent changeling war. Cadence and Twilight must now come to terms with the inevitability that Shining Armor might not be coming back at all. But it's hard not to hold onto the slightest bit of hope, no matter how small or insignificant. Sometimes when we lose the one we love we find that it's just too much to let go, even when hoping only makes it worse.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 36 )

I see something right off the bat.

When A Heart Loses It's Shine

should be Its. it's not a contraction, but rather a possessive adjective (or whatever the fuck it's called) so it doesn't need an apostrophe

An ending like this is the prize for having read through a sad and emotional story. :raritycry:

Aww. Sometimes it pays to take a risk and read a sad romance, and this was one of those times. Well done :twilightsmile:

2562207
Possessive pronoun, but you were close.

2562694
thank you. I always forget what those things are called. and I'm a (former) English major. :twilightsheepish:

2562698
No problem. I find it easiest to remember that it's the general equivalent of his, her, their, our (all posessive pronouns).

Why does every fanfic I read like this always end with Shining Armor appearing out of nowhere?:applejackconfused:

2563898
:rainbowhuh: Really? That is awfully strange.

2562208>>2562413>>2562694

I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. :twilightsmile: I really wanted to turn the tables and do a happy ending just to change things up in the typical sad fic genre. That and I kind of feel that Cadence and Shining are a little ignored sometimes.

Anyways, it had an okay run and I gained some experience from it so I'm pretty happy.

:rainbowderp: I didn't get the ending.

Good Story, you get 4 of 5 Big Macs: :eeyup::eeyup::eeyup::eeyup:

Still got something that bothered me: You use the word "moist" way too often,try finding different words.

I was wondering if the bittersweet ending was that Cadence was going to find she was pregnant with Shining's first foal or something.

Celestia was particularly well-written in this story. I think that she has forgotten just how many brave ponies she's lost or sent to their deaths over the millennia and probably despises herself for that display of mortal weakness. She strikes me as the sort of pony who feels that the least a god-queen can do is to bear the scars of every death in her service for all eternity. Of course, only by developing a certain degree of detachment could she keep herself sane as an immortal in a mortal world.

*SQUEEEE* I know it's unrealistic but it still makes me happy :)

You're yanking on my heartstrings, dude.

I'm honestly kind of jealous. Your description seems a lot better than mine, though that may be because of the generally low opinion I have of my writing. The action tags during the dialogue are a whole different story; you beat me by a longshot on those.

All in all, a great little story. I was hit strongly by the emotions, which is saying something considering I'm reading this at 11 PM after working on Chapter 2 of my story all day long, so I probably didn't absorb half of what I was supposed to :rainbowlaugh:

Faved and upvoted :pinkiehappy: You should definitely write more often.

Comment posted by CWi deleted Apr 6th, 2022

ShingCadance is one of my favorite ships, by the way.


This is a good fic. A very good fic

And I like it. I love their interactions, the flashbacks, the quiet and intimate moments.

Not bad, man.

2662030
Thank you very much. That means a lot.

Shining x Cadence is one of my fav's too. I'd do more with it but I'm really bad at shipping. Those cheesy lines, right? I'd have to read more of it to get it right and I don't have the reading time, nor the patience to sift through all the 'shipping' to find some 'romance' if you know what I'm saying.

2662049 If you ever want any rec's for a certain ship, I can accomodate ya!

Nah, it was alright.

I like Shinin' and Cadance because beside being adorable, it's also an excuse to look at married love and life! So muuuchhh stufff

2662052
I'd be happy with anything you can recommend, particularly for straight ships. PM me a few. I don't really have any qualms about who is shipped as long as it's not a silly concept like Gilda x Twilight.

It's really about the story and how the author works to develop the characters more than 'I want to see Twilight and Dash kiss 'cause I think it's hot' or something. That's really what I look for, I guess—The character conflict. Something that can stand as a good story beyond some the idea of two character I like being together for whatever silly reason (so therefore I won't tell you my preferred ships beyond what you already know :derpytongue2:).

you should do a sequel on twilights reaction to him being alive. of course that is just my opinion you do whatever you want with this story it is yours after all

2667688
I had actually wondered about doing a bonus chapter to show the battle Shining survived if I ever do revisit this. Doing Twilight's reaction would be kind of cool but feel like it would be redundant. Cadence was mostly the focus here.

2667731 i understand but either way this was a good story to read

2563898 Because Shining is secretly a ninja that stalks the shadows of those he loves until they're in tears before he shows up.

Too soon?

2670775
:rainbowlaugh:Hahaha.Comments like that are never too soon.

I started to break at the end. Good job.

2684791
Haha. It means you're used to reading about crazy ponies. :pinkiecrazy: Still, I could have executed that ending a little better. I tried foreshadowing things but it didn't come out that clear what happened. Either way, it's an old project and I'd rather move forward with the next thing. EQD gave me some good notes on it so I might try working through this again someday.

While I was waiting for the next part of For A New Dawn, I've decided to take apart the next best thing that happens to be on your story list.

So, where do I start? It was a great story - touching and heartwarming (that is, if there's a real difference between those two things).

At times like these I'm glad I download stories straight to my E-Reader without paying any attention to the description and character list whatsoever. I neither knew what I was getting myself into nor how it would develop. And trust me, I was emotionally blown away when they said that "Twilight’s taking the death of her brother really hard...". Well fuck me, it wasn't only her, that's for sure. It was hinted he would be missing, but I didn't actually think about death.

As the story progressed with all those flashbacks, it just burned it way into my brain even harder.

But then came the finale, and I'm not entirely sure what to say about it. In one way it's a good thing of course, happy end and everyone can have a sausage fest, but on the other hand it also feels a little weird. All this build up of Shining being dead and stuff, but then he magically reappears out of fucking nowhere. I would've preferred some kind of "Okay, he's gone, but I can handle this." sorta ending. I know it's hard to find a good ending to a sad fic when it isn't supposed to be tragic, but it still felt like you took the easy way out. :trollestia:

Overall, good story, for what it is at least. Not from the golden apple tree, but definitely the silver one. :raritywink:

Just one question out of curiosity: How do you English people write apostrophes? Because yours look like this ’ while mine looks like ' instead.

2685510

I've been getting a lot of feedback like this for a while now. I think the Shining Armor reappear thing could have been done a little better for sure. I did want a happy ending though. I didn't aim to take the easy way out. :twilightsheepish:. Anyways as far as the apostrophe goes I do all work on the computer so I rarely write with a pencil at all. Either one is good but I usually go with a straight line ( ' ) for time's sake.

The ending was a bit sudden... but apart from that, this was a powerful and emotional story.

4024417
I'm glad you liked what I was going for. And yeah, this one was a learning experience. The vast majority of readers have said the ending is a bit abrupt, so I concluded that my foreshadowing was too hidden. I learned from it though, so I can't be disappointed. Made me happy to write so I consider it a success.

4025149
Good to know that you learned from it. I mean, I wasn't surprised at the ending myself, but it was still a little sudden.

4025162
Heh, yeah pacing was a lesson too :twilightblush:

4025556
Specifically how to pace the resolution, :P

Wait, he was alive? Or was that his ghost? Eh, all in all, this was a great story. Good job.

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