For When It Rains
* * * * *
Dear Twi,
Hoo-ee! It's been a while. Hope you can read my chicken scratches. Never really was one for writing, no matter how much Granny'd lecture me.
How're things up there in Canterlot? You feeling like you're settling in? I know it can be tough leaving your home behind and moving on to bigger things, but this'll be good for you. You being a princess and everything, wouldn't be right to keep you all to ourselves out here in the boonies. You gotta take care of the whole of Equestria now, and I'm just so proud of everything you're doing.
Life out here on the farm's quiet and simple, same as usual. Apple Bloom's sad that Twilight Time won't be so frequent, but I suppose we're all a little down without our favorite alicorn around. Big Mac is Big Mac, and I'm gearing up for Zap Apple season. Let me tell you – getting all of Granny's steps just right sure takes a lot out of me.
Oh, but listen to me, going on and on about the old rigmarole. Y'all probably have a million and a half royal duties to attend to, so I shouldn't take too much of your time. Don't be a stranger now, and visit us soon. We all can't wait to see you again.
Your Friend,
Applejack
* * * * *
"Princess Twiiiiiiliiiiiight! Is Her Majesty accepting visitors?"
Twilight Sparkle stopped her reading mid-sentence and jerked her head toward the window, her purple mane whipping across her forehead. She'd recognize that voice anywhere. "Rarity's here!" After taking a moment to carefully mark her place, she set her book down and galloped across the large, luxuriously decorated library, a smile growing wider as she arrived at the window. She flung it open, poking her head out into the cold air of late autumn. Squinting at the harsh light, she wondered how long she'd been locked in her room. Days? Weeks?
Though her friend was several stories below, Twilight spotted Rarity in moments. It wasn't very easy to pick out a white unicorn against a marble walkway, but the giant pile of colorful luggage was a dead giveaway. Twight considered flying down right away, but she knew Rarity wouldn't approve. 'Nah, she'd scold me for it,' Twilight thought. 'She'd say it's "unbecoming" of a princess to greet her friends without some pomp and circumstance.'
It didn't matter. Rarity was here! Twilight waved down at her friend, who delicately returned the gesture before magically lifting her bags and moving towards the castle entrance. Twilight watched her disappear under the archway, almost too excited to move. Life at the castle was proving lonelier than she had anticipated, and she often fantasized about returning to Ponyville and her old life. Even with Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Discord to keep her company and provide guidance, she constantly yearned for just a few more days back home.
Twilight hung her head as a memory came flooding back. It had all happened so fast. One day, life meant spending time doing research in Ponyville and seeing her friends every day. The next, life became an endless parade of ceremony and responsibility to the whole kingdom. Her exit from Ponyville had been as sudden as her arrival.
Twilight glanced nervously around the room. "Oh dear," she mumbled before she bit her lower lip. The bed remained unmade, her clothes were unkempt, and on just about every surface, books lay splayed open to various pages. "How am I going to..." Twilight paused and let out a small sigh. Her face contorted as she tried to fight away an idea. She trotted over to the door, opening it enough to peek her head out, and said, "Um, pardon me, guards?"
In a flash, two buff, armored pegasi with golden orange coats and blue manes appeared in front of her. The first spoke quickly in a low, authoritative voice. "Yes, Princess? Are you alright? What do you need?"
Twilight shifted uncomfortably, hesitating before admitting to herself she needed others to clean up her mess. "Um... hi. Sorry, but I have a visitor, and my room is such a mess, and I was wondering..."
"We'd be honored to help tidy up, Your Majesty." With that, the guards pushed through the door and began surveying the area.
With a sigh of relief, Twilight marched toward the grand staircase, shuddering a bit as the chilled air blew through the grand, empty halls. A few steps out the door, however, she paused, eyes wide, and dashed back to her room. "Just, please don't lose my place in any of the books. There are color-coordinated bookmarks in my writing desk."
"Of course, Princess."
Satisfied, Twilight started again towards the stairs, making it a little further. She stopped and pondered a moment before returning once more.
"Actually, please don't move any of my books. I'm doing a lot of important research.
"Whatever you'd like, Princess."
Trot. Pause. Return.
"You know what? Don't worry about it. We'll go see the statues today."
* * * * *
Good morning, Princess Twilight,
Oh, I do hope it's morning when you're reading this. In case it isn't, I hope you have a wonderful afternoon and evening as well.
The sun has just come up as I'm writing this. It's cresting beautifully on the horizon, and it warms me to think of all my friends waking up after a good night's sleep. I've been waking up extra early these days to make sure everyone has a nice, healthy breakfast waiting for them. If I finish quickly enough, I'm able to talk a walk through the morning twilight (which always makes me think of you, of course) and sing with the birdies and critters that are already up and about. I'm even getting over my stage fright. Just yesterday, Berry Punch found me singing with Mr. Robin, and I kept going, even though she was looking right at me. She said I have a lovely voice. It's nice to get a compliment.
Your library is doing very well. Thank you again for opening it up for everypony to use as they need. I make sure to help keep it clean every day. A few of the colts and fillies have some overdue books, but don't worry. I'll ask them very politely to be respectful of the town's property and return them soon.
I hope everything is going well in Canterlot. You're doing a great job, Twilight, and we're all so happy for you. Please tell Discord I say hello, and that I hope he's gotten all of my letters.
I wish you a lovely day, today and every day.
Your Friend,
Fluttershy
* * * * *
"Rarity!" Eyes bright, Twilight glided the rest of the way down the steps, landing just a few feet from her friend.
Rarity's flowing purple mane curled beautifully beside her face, and her white coat shimmered in the gentle light. She resembled a porcelain statue, carved lovingly from the very soul of dignity and grace. With a bat of her eyelashes and a turn of her head, she spoke. "Good morning, Your Majesty." Her voice had a low, husky quality, at once matronly and full of quiet intensity. "Thank you ever so much for allowing me to stay in the castle this weekend."
Grinning from ear to ear, Twilight leapt forward, throwing a foreleg around Rarity and squeezing tightly. "Oh, Rarity! You're always welcome to stay here." Soft gasping noises followed. Twilight released her grip and backed up a few steps. "Oh... sorry." She grimaced, cheeks flushing red.
Rarity ran a hoof through her mane, tucking it behind her ear. "It's quite alright, Princess." She maintained her elegant, composed posture, eyes half-lidded. Her horn began to glow, and Twilight heard a clicking noise from the single, lonely bag that sat on the floor. She continued tersely. "Now, I have something for you. I know you said that you have everything you need here in Canterlot, but I just couldn't resist making you something to go with that beauuuuutiful dress you wore at the Grand Galloping Gala this year."
"Rarity, you really don't need to..."
"Oh, I insist. You're always so generous with your time, and one good turn deserves another. What do you think?" The bag opened, revealing a shimmering silver parasol with purple accents. Engulfed in magical energy, it unfurled and floated to Twilight, rotating like a mannequin in a shop window. "I had to go a bit subtle with the detailing. Coordinating all of those colors can be a bit difficult, but Precious Glimmer and I are always up for a challenge."
Twilight Sparkle marveled at the fine work, not a stitch out of place. She studied the parasol, finding that each of the twelve panels had a small symbol rendered in tiny, intricately placed gemstones. "It's absolutely amazing!" The symbols were all familiar: a tri-colored bolt jutting from a cloud, a bright sunburst, a blue shield with stars and a purple sparkle – these were the cutie marks of her closest friends. After a moment of searching, she found that her own cutie mark adorned the handle. "I love it!"
"I thought you might." Rarity's expression sank a bit, but a smile remained on her face.
Twilight's gaze landed on a set of three butterflies, and she felt moisture in her eyes as Rarity magically closed the parasol and returned it to the bag. Twilight shook her head, an artificial brightness entering her tone. "Thank you. This really means a lot to me, especially..." She stopped when she noticed Rarity shiver. "Oh, sorry! Let's get moving out of this drafty doorway. We've got a new art installation that I want to show you and... where are the rest of your bags?"
Twilight heard a voice behind her. "Already taken care of!" The ponies turned to see a purple and green dragon waving as he bounded across the hall. He stopped just beside Twilight, averting his gaze. "If... anything's broken, though, it totally wasn't me." The dragon sat down, causing the floor to reverberate a bit.
Rarity took a few steps forward. "Most appreciated, my dear." She kissed the dragon on his cheek before speaking in a puerile, almost condescending tone. "And I'm sure everything's fine. I know I can always count on my widdle Spikey-Wikey."
Spike raised an eyebrow and gestured with a claw. "Rarity, I'm six times your size. You don't need to call me your little Spikey-Wikey anymore."
* * * * *
Hey, Twilight!
Okay. Before I get to the main event, I have to say it: If you're reading this from the box, I was totally right! Rarity and Applejack didn't think I could keep it a secret. They said I'd end up blabbing about how my letters are the best (which they are) and how much you'd love them (which you will), but it looks like I've won this round!
Anyway, did you hear about that show we did in Las Pegasus? We totally nailed it! A lot of the reporter ponies have been saying that I'm past my prime and that I'd never top my Sonic Rainboom, but who's laughing now? The rest of the 'bolts are doing great, and we've got more shows than ever (probably because we have such an awesome captain). Speaking of which, Thunderlane keeps telling me I need to start grooming a replacement. I mean, yeah, it makes sense, but I'm waaaaay too good to retire anytime soon.
I'm really looking forward to your birthday this year. I think you'll find we've put together quite a few sweet surprises. I'm trying to get our manager to comp you for the performance, but she isn't budging. Doesn't she know you're a princess? And that you're one of my best friends!? Some ponies...
Looking forward to seeing you next week. It's been too long since we've hung out together. You really mean a lot to We're awesome together, and that trip to Canterlot is gonna be the best!
Stay cool (like I have any doubt),
Rainbow Dash
* * * * *
Rarity raised a hoof to her chin as she examined the sculpture: two figures evoking very different moods. On the left was a grotesque, vaguely pony-like figure twisting and skulking unnaturally with some kind of spike through its leg. Next to it, a ruggedly beautiful pegasus extended a hoof. This figure smiled despite scars that appeared all over her body. "Hm... I appreciate the abstraction of the designs, but I can't help but feel the detailing undercuts the message somewhat."
Twilight raised an eyebrow, glancing at Rarity before continuing to stare at the installation. "What do you mean? 'Loyalty and Betrayal' is coming through pretty clearly for me."
"Well, yes, but I find it fascinating that Loyalty shows degradation. Loyalty can restore friendship," she mused, pointing to the figure of Betrayal, "but this devotion to a clearly treacherous ne'er-do-well just seems misplaced." She took in a breath through her teeth, squinting as she turned her head towards Twilight and quickly added, "Too much focus on a particular theme, perhaps? Of course, that is only one interpretation."
"I... understand where you're coming from, but true loyalty means sticking with your friends through thick and thin, even when they hurt you." Twilight sat down on the cool marble, immediately regretting it as the heat drained from her body. "Just because somepony is going through a rough time or has lost their way doesn't mean they aren't worth trying to save. Think about Discord." She blinked a few times. She could swear she saw the statue turn to chocolate for just a moment. "Uh... even the most chaotic, self-centered being in the world can be reformed."
Rarity moved a step closer. She lowered herself into a sitting position, wincing just a bit as her hip contorted unnaturally. After staring at Twilight for a moment, she flicked her hair and smiled. "You're right. It appears you will be an excellent teacher when it comes to the magic of friendship."
Twilight nodded. "Thank you, Rarity. Actually, I've already started. Unicorns from all over Equestria are studying Starswirl's old notes, trying to improve on his spells using what they've learned from me. They're sending more letters all the time."
"Darling, that's wonderful!" Rarity perked up, her cheeriness covering any pain she'd hinted at a moment ago. She gestured widely in the air, looking upward. "You're a fantastic inspiration to ponies everywhere. I'm so proud of you, and I know the others would be, too." She looked back at Twilight, wincing at Twilight's frown. "My dear, whatever is the matter?"
Twilight sighed. "It's... Yes, they're learning, and I have faith they'll all do great things, but... can you keep a secret?"
Rarity's tone became softer, gentler. Her eyebrows furrowed, and her mouth hung open for a moment. "Why, of course. You can tell me anything, Twilight."
"When I read their letters–" She paused, starting at a crack in the floor. "–I think about how temporary everything really is. Each of them is a unique, special, beautiful pony with so much potential, and someday, they'll all be gone. And..."
Rarity looked on, nodding slowly. "Go on."
Twilight's voice tapered off, barely more than a whisper, as tears began to flow. "And it makes me wish I wasn't a princess, wish that I–" she sniffled, "–that I didn't have to carry on while everypony leaves me behind."
Rarity reached over a hoof, patting Twilight on the shoulder. They shared a moment of silence before Rarity spoke. "Oh, I can't begin to comprehend how hard this is for you, but you must understand. Princess Celestia took you as her pupil for a reason." Grunting, she stood up shakily and faced her friend, a look of determination on her face as her voice filled the hollow corridor. "You are capable of spectacular things, Twilight Sparkle, and you will always have friends close by."
Twilight remained still until Rarity stomped a hoof, capturing Twilight's attention. Twilight examined Rarity for a moment. She still looked magnificent, despite the wrinkles and her thinning waist. Her coat shimmered, her posture remained impeccable, and every feature shone with confidence. In that moment, she looked invincible, as if age could never touch her.
Her expression softening, Rarity continued. "None of us are ever truly gone, and no amount of time can erase the wonderful friendship we share." Rarity offered a hoof.
Twilight took it, standing before drying her tears. A weak smile crept across her face. "Thank you, Rarity."
"And since we're telling secrets, I... suppose I must confess something as well."
Twilight cocked her head, concern in her voice. "What happened?"
Rarity lowered her head spoke in a sharp voice, enunciating every word. "Twilight, you must never repeat what I am about to tell you."
"Okay," Twilight replied, nodding.
"I mean it. Not a word of this to the princesses, your brother, Spike, anyone!"
Twilight shook her head. "You have my word."
Rarity began pacing in front of the princess, taking in quick breaths. "Oh, if this gets out, everything will be ruined."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Rarity..."
"Everything I've worked for, my reputation, my legacy, gone!" She paced faster, eyes darting every direction. She gasped. "And what would Glimmer think about her Nana hiding things from her?" Wide-eyed, Rarity stopped and turned to Twilight, their faces only inches apart. "WHAT WOULD EVERYPONY SAY!?"
"Rarity!" Twilight's voice echoed through the empty hallway.
Rarity cleared her throat. "My sincerest apologies." She took a deep breath. "For the past two months..." Looking around one more time, she leaned in and whispered, "I've been dyeing my mane."
Twilight snorted, failing to stifle her laughter, which grew louder the more she tried to hide it.
"I'm seeeeerious," Rarity playfully whined, smiling broadly and flicking her mane with a hoof. "I had hoped to gain a lovely streak of silver that would complement my coat ever so well, but the grey hairs are just so random!" She turned up her nose, chuckling. "I simply cannot do a thing with them!"
The two ponies continued laughing together, and Twilight no longer noticed the cold.
* * * * *
Twilight!
Twilight Twilight Twilight Twilight Twilight! Did you ever try saying your name over and over really fast before? It's super easy with yours!
I'm so happy you liked the new cupcakes I made at the Summer Sun Celebration! Those magic exploding candies you gave me were fantastic! I sent you the recipe, so you can make them whenever you want! Yay!
Think you'll be able to make it to Gummy's birthday party next month? Oh, that's silly of me! You won't read this until it's waaaaay in the past! In that case, I hope you had a great time at Gummy's party, the Autumn Cider Extravaganza, the Grand Galloping Gala, the Ponyville Pride Days, the Canterlot History Bash, and all the other big important things you get to go to! I know I'm the best at parties, but there are going to be plenty more after I'm gone! Make sure you go to lots of them so you can be a happy peppy princess pony instead of sad sack sour-face! You're going to find ways to keep laughing, aren't you?
Pinkie Promise?
I should probably end this letter, since I have to start writing the next one! You're going to get sooooo many, Twilight! It's a good thing you like reading so much!
Your friend FOREVER!
Pinkie Pie
* * * * *
Twilight sipped her tea, a nutty blend from Neighjing. She swirled it around her mouth before swallowing, examining the way the slight bitterness played off the honey she'd added, keeping the drink from being too sweet. "Teas from this area often taste aged but not stale, which is also characteristic of the local vegetation. It comes from the mix of nutrients and traces of metals that naturally occur in the soil. I've got a book if you'd like to learn more."
Rarity levitated the teacup back down onto the saucer with a soft clink. "That sounds lovely. It will give me something to do when I need to put down my work."
Twilight frowned. "Are... you not able to work? I can mix a potion to keep the pain away before you leave."
Rarity picked up the teacup again, leaving it hovering in front of her face for a moment. She peered into the caramel-colored liquid, the wrinkles on her forehead becoming more pronounced. Closing her eyes, she took another sip. "Twilight." The cup dropped to the saucer, and Rarity looked directly at her friend. "We can't spend all our lives trying to keep the pain away. We've all been allotted a certain amount of time, and we need to embrace everything that comes with it, good and bad."
Twilight turned away from Rarity's gentle stare, looking around the small study. The intimate space was dominated by the lavender table they sat at. Six luxurious sitting pillows were set around the table, all but two of them empty. The walls were painted a warm orange, though they could hardly be seen behind the framed photographs that adorned almost every inch that wasn't occupied by the ornate door or the small, west-facing window.
She glanced around at the timeline she'd created, images of all of her friends gathered for picnics or big events, everypony smiling. Her heart swelled thinking back to Rainbow Dash's first performance as a Wonderbolt or the opening of Big Mac's Farm Supply, only to sink again as she saw the odd wrinkle on one of her friends, some grey hair on another. As she progressed through the photos, everypony began to show signs of age – except Twilight.
The most recent picture hung just above the doorway. Rarity stood beside Twilight, who was modeling a stunning blue evening gown. It hung loosely on Twilight's body, simple and elegant, accented with sapphires around the shoulders and waist. Rarity's dress matched almost exactly, though it had a purple color scheme instead of a blue one. Twilight reminisced about their most recent mare's night out, wondering what colors Rarity would have selected for her other friends.
"Glimmer has taken quite strongly to the accessorizing business," Rarity stated, snapping Twilight out of her reverie. "I'm quite impressed with her attention to detail. Truthfully, she did a lot of the work on your parasol." Rarity leaned in. "And don't tell her just yet, but she's going to inherit Carousel Boutique. I've been placing more of her work in the front window, and it's been driving a lot of our recent business."
"I'm so glad to hear that! Isn't she a bit young to manage the shop by herself, though?"
"Oh, her parents are very supportive of her, but I must say she takes after me the most. Marvelous eye for design, strong, independent..." Her voice became pleading. "You will look after her, won't you? She really respects you, Twilight, and she asks to come with me every time I visit."
Twilight took a deep breath, and warmth spread through her chest. "Absolutely, Rarity. She's welcome here anytime, just like you. You can bring her along next time." She swirled the tea in her cup. "You're planning on visiting again soon, right?"
Rarity smiled. "As often as I am able, my dear."
"Excellent! Next month we should–" A heavy knock on the door interrupted her.
A deep bass voice rumbled from outside the study. "You two in there? I'm sick of lugging this thing around."
Rarity spoke up. "Indeed we are, Spikey-Wikey. Thank you for retrieving it so quickly."
"Finally!" The door opened with a loud creak, and Spike stuck his head in. "I... don't think I can fit myself in, but here you go." He reached behind himself and produced a suitcase adorned with a rainbow of different gemstones. Carefully, Spike reached in and set the case on the table with a loud thud.
Twilight stared, contemplating the immense size of the suitcase. "What is it?"
Rarity smiled warmly. "It's a gift from all of us. Go on, open it."
Twilight undid the latch and forced the heavy top to flip open. Inside, the bottom and top compartments were stuffed with folded papers, divided by foam padding into four sections. Small placards labeled each section, each emblazoned with the signature of a different pony – Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. Twilight's eyes grew wide as she marveled at all the parchment. "Rarity, these are..."
Rarity chuckled softly. "Letters, yes. It was Applejack's idea years ago. She wanted to leave you something meaningful, and Fluttershy suggested we write to you. Rainbow Dash held onto them, and I moved them to the boutique after she passed. I was going to have Glimmer bring them to you, but Pinkie worried they might get lost in the mail. You know how the delivery ponies can be. She made me Pinkie Promise to deliver hers personally. Cross my heart, hope to fly..."
"Stick a cupcake in your eye," Twilight half-sobbed, completing the familiar rhyme. "Rarity, I don't know what to say."
Spike chimed in sarcastically. "Thank you might be a good place to start."
"Yes, thank you so much." Twilight stepped around the table and hugged her friend. "This is the greatest gift I could ask for. I don't think I can ever repay you."
"It's quite alright," Rarity cooed, breaking the embrace. "We love you, Twilight, and we'll always be here with you."
Twilight Sparkle nodded slowly before pausing and gesturing with a hoof. "Wait, did you write any letters?"
"Oh, but of course! Glimmer will deliver them eventually. I wanted to give you something to look forward to, since I know you'll tear open every last letter the moment I take my leave. Be sure to set some extra time aside for Pinkie's."
"Why's that?"
"She was..." Rarity's eyes darted away for a moment. "...zealous. Most of the luggage I brought today is actually from her." She looked out the small window, the setting sun casting golden rays onto her face. After a beat, she continued in a soft tone. "There's still a bit of light left. Let's go out and enjoy it, shall we?"
Twilight looked out the window as well. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
* * * * *
My Dearest Friend, Twilight Sparkle,
We're expecting you any minute now, and I worry I won't be able to say everything I'd like before I must go. There's so much to remember together, so many laughs and tears to share, and I must admit I'm looking forward to finally giving you my letters.
Thank you for coming to stay with me. I've been following the news, and I've heard about all the trouble coming from the Everfree Forest these days. It means everything to me that you'll still make time for an old friend.
It's starting to rain now. Do you still have that old parasol I gave you? I saw a picture of you holding it a few months ago, and my heart absolutely leapt with joy. I imagine it's beginning to show some wear, so please bring it to Glimmer when you have a moment. She's engaged now, you know, to a fine young unicorn named Metalcraft. He's been assisting with the more intricate ring and brooch designs in the shop, and they are perfect for one another.
I do hope you keep that parasol, Twilight, for when it rains, for when it seems like the skies hold nothing but gloom, to remind you that we're all watching over you, that we'll never leave you, and that we love you, Twilight, with all our hearts. We are so, so proud of everything you have accomplished, and I cannot wait to see what you will do next.
I can see your chariot through the clouds. You've certainly learned how to make an entrance, and darling, you look absolutely stunning.
Your friend, now and always,
Rarity
* * * * *
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Thank you, Rarity. As I near the end of my allotment, I recognize the wisdom of this statement.
I might just have shipping goggles but did I catch hints of an unrequited crush? Also this was beautiful and sad..
4165268
Thanks for reading. I hope the rest of your time is filled with joy and good friends.
4165591
Maaaaaybe a little, though that wasn't my intention.Thanks for reading!
Very lovely story. I especially liked how the utilisation of a very common trope was done with a nice spin of originality. I haven't really read a sadfic centered around Twilight's immortality like this before, and that's great.
You're killing it man! Can't wait to see what you come up with next
I'm not quite sure how I came across this story, but it was an enjoyable read.
4165268 Good luck with what time you have left. Enjoy it.
4328652 Thank you! I didn't know there was a whole subgenre of immortal Twilight when I wrote it, but I'm glad it had something original.
4328873 Glad you found it. Thanks for reading!
4350933
Yeah, when I waltzed into the fandom, my first story involved a joke about Applejack's cutie mark not tasting like apples (because she tastes like Apple Jacks, see?). Turns out I was not the first one to make that joke. Or the tenth. Or the hundredth.
But hey, that's half the fun of things. Besides, just because others have done things doesn't mean you can't do them right.
4350943 That's definitely the right attitude. I'm perfectly happy adding my wad of words to the pile, even if it's been done before.
One of a few stories to hit me hard emotionally. One of a few that remind me of something I try hard to forget. One that reminds me that even if I forget it, it will force me to face it eventually, for all do one day.
-Thank-you for writing this.-
4445446
You're very welcome. I'm glad you found meaning in it, and thanks for reading.
Okay, there's a few things I must go over. Just to note here: most of this stuff is bias.
"Y'all" is plural, not singular. It's a contraction of "you all", so... plural. I'm saying this since she's talking to Twilight, and Twilight's only one pony, so yeah.
*you're
I generally avoid doing this. Why? Because I find it rather annoying when authors stretch words in dialogue, and it's most unprofessional to me.
Using a tilde for dialogue? Interesting move, but pretty ineffective if you're going to put it at the end of the dialogue.
Stories? That's used for a narrative or plot. If you want to talk about building levels, it would be storeys. Story is for a narrative, storey is for a physical building level. But then again, storey is how you spell it here in Canada and in the UK. If you live in the United States, they spell it story.
Pff, silly Americans. It's Canada and the UK that spell it right! Storey, not story!
And the words like "valour", "labour", "colour", why do you take out the u? It's supposed to be spelled with the u!
And what about the word "apologise"? Why do you Americans spell it "apologize" with a z! It's with an s, not z.
Spell it riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
Ahem, let's continue:
I have two very strict rules for my writing style. First: I never capitalize dialogue. Second: I never use interrobangs (!? or ?!). I fucking hate interrobangs! With a passion so hot it would burn Satan!
I never capitalize dialogue for I see it like the "show, don't tell" advice. You're telling me a character is yelling by capitalizing the words. A good author is able to show the audience the character is yelling through descriptions and such.
As for interrobangs, you don't need them. If your character is asking a question, use a question mark. If they yell, exclamation mark. If they yell out a question... exclamation mark. Depending on the structure of the sentence, it would be obvious enough that the character is asking a question so you don't need to add a question mark. Let's look at it:
or
Which sentence seemed neater and more pleasant to read? Well, that's probably subjective, but to me, I'd go for the latter.
--
Okay, that's enough for now. To be fair with you, I liked this story. In fact, I really liked it, much more so than I thought I would (err, no offense). The characterization was spot on, too.
9/10
5094475
Hi, SpitFlame! Thanks for reading and for the review, and I'm glad you found some pleasure in it. I'm hoping to rewrite this story over winter break, and I'll definitely take all of your thoughts into consideration.
...though we'll have to agree to disagree on interrobangs.
:(:(:(:(:(
Definitely a favorite from you.
This was a wonderful read. This idea has definitely been done many times before, but I like how delicately you handled it. The letters were all in character, and Rarity's exchange with Twilight near the end was absolutely beautiful. Made me tear up a bit there.
*they're learning
*filled with concern
Probably the best story I've read in a long time that handles Twilight's immortality. Have a fave.
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Glad you enjoyed it! One of these days, I want to rewrite it to fix a few problems that were pointed out to me during my first EQD submission, but it's wonderful that you are enjoying it in the meantime.
Wow! I can't believe there's only 18 comments on this excellent story. I loved it and it's going on my best bookshelf for short stories.
Awesome double entendre. Probably my favorite line right there. I almost wonder if you didn't write this whole thing just so you could use that one.
I didn't catch the title drop until the second read through, so I'm very glad I read it again. (It's also why the previous quote is only probably my favorite line and not definitely.) I think I also finally understand now why Rarity winced when she first gave away the umbrella. This story just gets better every time I read it.
This was simply amazing. I usually stay away from fics tagged 'sad', but I thought I'd give this one a read and I'm glad I did.
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Thanks, Mo! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for telling me so.
I reviewed this story as part of Recommended Story Reviews #15.
My review can be found here.
Truly an excellent and original take on a common trope. Well done!
That... might just be the most solid and insightful advice i read over here in FIMFiction. Thank you for this magnificent story. I love the unusual, yet altogether very much enjoyable, take you did on the whole "Twilight outliving her friends" theme. I love it. I love everything about this and so, once again, i thank you for this beautiful story.
Pardon me if i can't give a more well thought-out review, but i am truly at lost of words. Just. Thank you, and keep on writing, my friend!
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I will absolutely keep on writing. I'm touched by your comment, so thank you so much for letting me know that it affected you deeply.
This is such a good story. You took a familiar concept and really made it unique and beautiful. I don't know, it just hit me pretty hard. Thank you for this fantastic story.
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Thanks, Sweet! I'm happy you enjoyed it.
Hi! I'm slogging through all (yes, all) my old reviews and checking for fics that I omitted to favourite when they deserved it. This is one. As I said in my review, very satisfying characterisation and a touchingly bittersweet fic all round.
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Thanks for revisiting after all this time! I'm glad it made an impression.