• Member Since 29th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Wednesday

Ebony Stallion


Hello, my name is Ebony Stallion. I am new to this site. I am not what you call a brony per se...but I am greatly interested in the MLP stories nowadays. I hope to make a mark here.

Sequels1

Comments ( 78 )

Great job with this story. That was nice to see how you incorporated other stories into this one. I do admit, it was nice to see Prism's character develop so much in this story.

Good luck with this!

-Lumino

4555767

He asked my permission, I gave it. I have no real desire to read the clop parts of the story, but he's put a lot of work into this. It would be incredibly rude of me to ignore it entirely.

Besides, the bits of it I have read suggest that the characterization of it is well done, which is always a good thing.

-Lumino

hm, I liked it. thumbs up man.

There were a few issues with tense, and a couple spots with unnecessary words or words that need to be added. I don't understand why you used all those quotation marks around words that I felt didn't need them, but they might add humor for some. All in all, a good fic, with plenty of emotional appeal and good handling of the technicolor pony porn.

Wow, that was just amazing. It was well written and very descriptive.

4555854 Could you care to elaborate to me in a pm so I can fix those mistakes?

4555854 Mistakes are fixed. No need to worry, readers. :ajsmug:

So I suppose borsuq story and luminos are all canon in the same timeline

4556207 Well, technically speaking... I mean, LuminoZero is writing his third story, which will most likely make this story an AU if anything to his universe. As for Borsuq's, I do not know how his story will end...so this is just me assuming that his story will end well for Starfall. If it doesn't, then it's a AU for his universe as well.

That, and I like Starfall for Starburst and it pairs up all the Next Gen characters.

Did you like the story?

Great job. I'm not really one for clopfics, but the story of rekindled love was really good. Prism and Whirlwind had such an excellent dynamic.:yay:

Cute fic. There are a few errors that I've noticed though.

At least I wasn’t shivering so much to cause the ground to shake.

At least I wasn't shivering enough to make the ground shake.
or
At least I wasn't shivering enough to cause the ground to shake.

we wouldn’t gotten caught in that snowstorm.

We wouldn't HAVE gotten caught in that snowstorm.

“Not to mention humble.”

Not really any errors but it just really sounds weird. Maybe "Atleast we know your inflated ego came out in one piece"?

angry farmer colt

Another bit that seemed a little off. I just didn't really see the reason behind giving the faceless farmer a gender.

There are a few more here and there but most of them are very small errors.

9/10 soiled carpets, my friend :)

4556279 Fixed. If you noticed any more glaring errors, pm me and I will fix them. And if soiled carpets are a good thing, thank you very much.

4556221

I mean, LuminoZero is writing his third story,

Fourth!

-Lumino

I'd recommend removing the couple of bits that directly referenced this as being a story, but other than that, not bad.

This was so beautiful. I literally just can't form words about how much this was well done and amazing.

"-And then bastard babies happened"
A nice entertaining read

[O] <- This is the universe
:pinkiegasp: <- This is your talents
:pinkiesmile: <- This is how i feel

......Very nice.....nuff said

4564465 I might have an epilogue in mind as well as a sequel, but I can't make promises.

4565418
Thanks for the answer anyways I love the next generation from kilala and you just give them more character :rainbowkiss:
brohoof? /)

Comment posted by IncinerateChicken deleted Jun 19th, 2014
Comment posted by Ebony Stallion deleted Jun 19th, 2014
Comment posted by IncinerateChicken deleted Jun 19th, 2014
Comment posted by Ebony Stallion deleted Jun 19th, 2014
Comment posted by IncinerateChicken deleted Jun 19th, 2014
Comment posted by Ebony Stallion deleted Jun 19th, 2014
Comment posted by IncinerateChicken deleted Jun 19th, 2014
Comment posted by frostingblossom deleted Aug 1st, 2014

4572339 Could you care to clarify in the pm so I can fix it?

Also, just so we are clear, I only deleted the last few comments because someone was being mean-spirited in their comments. I do not delete comments that are helpful in telling me what I can do better.

Comment posted by frostingblossom deleted Aug 1st, 2014

4572371 Well, take your time. I'm here all day.

Comment posted by frostingblossom deleted Jun 20th, 2014
Comment posted by frostingblossom deleted Aug 1st, 2014

4572650 Could you do the rest in a pm, so that the comment section isn't cluttered? Please?

Comment posted by frostingblossom deleted Jun 21st, 2014

This is one good fix! I give you :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: out of :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:


And here's some bonus points for the When the Stars Align reference (one of my favorite Kilala based storied):
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Nice story. Up vote & fav. By the way, I think you mean Cloudchaser, because Cloud Chaser is a completely different pony.

This is one off the best works I've seen so far, I can simply say that you have created a perfect story. I am very certain that I will re-read this at least one more time.

This story, simply put, was beautiful...

Whoa.... Fantastic job with this one. The story was vey cute and the dialogue was both well written and entertainin, and I have to admit that I was surprised both with the length of the sex scene and just how good it really was. :twilightblush:

This fic turned out to be an instant favorite of mine and you've managed to make me curious about the whole fan universe this fic are based upon. Well done, darling. :raritywink::heart:

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