Starburst, the daughter of Princess Twilight Sparkle and Prince Flash Sentry, has about all she could ask from life: loving parents, her Little Brother Best Friend Forever, and despite her seriousness and disciplined mentality, she has group of friends close as family. She also has an ambitious goal in life: she wants to be the first mare ever to become the Captain of the Royal Guard, which she's been preparing herself for since she was a little filly.
So... what would happen if she were to meet a pony that is an exact opposite of her?
Covert art, the universe and most of characters by kilala
Edited by Lazygamer313
Proof-read by: Zaleros, Vrilix
Former proof-readers: Merchent343, TexPony
Chapters (13)
That line made me cringe. Kill yourself
3905033 To be fair, when I first discovered kilala's art, I also cringed at this shipping, but I got used to it before I decided to write this fic
Congrats on getting this story published, my friend
3905041 I gave this story a like even tho I probably won't read it, I actually hate Flash Sentry with a passion.
Trixie slept with a what now?
3905061 Quoting Pinkie:
3905066 Ha
Okay the Son of Trixie Lulamoon and the Daughter of Twilight, yeah I can definitely see a possible reunion and nice use of RWBY.
3905232 ... Wait, what? Sorry, but I honestly don't understand what you mean. I never read "Making Magic", sorry, and when you say foal... do you mean Night Light, aka Nighty? Because that character isn't mine, its kilala's, and he's named after his grandfather, so you're not the first who thought about that name.
The only character who's "mine" here, and who's name I could change, would be the one on the cover art, but I still hadn't introduced his name.
I want to read more!
Eeeew, Fleshlight..
I don't have time to read this right now, but rest assured I will be doing so. I just find the mentality of FimFiction funny.
->Ship Flashlight
->Receive Downvotes
Not that I like the pairing either, but a writer must work with what he has. If you people don't like the pairings so much, then just keep walking and find another story. No reason to downvote this one without even giving it a chance.
Don't let the idiot's discourage you, my friend.
-Lumino
Very nice concept, and I'm eager to see what happens with this Trixie spawn. Only thing that takes away from it is the technical errors, of which there are several that need to be cleaned up. I would highly suggest finding an editor to help you out with that.
3905033
Dude. Death threats aren't cool, even if it's your NOTP. I mean, jeez, you don't see me telling AppleDash shippers to kill themselves, do you?
Lot's of grammar errors here and there but other then that this looks like it'll be good!
Can't wait for the next chapter! :D
Also, I think it would be helpful that you made a separate chapter or something at the beginning of the story where you have a list of characters and who they're related to as well as descriptions, as there are so many it gets a little confusing. (You could add on to it each time a new character comes in.)
hey bro u got featured XD to bad the mature box is blocking it
3905628 3905828 I had 4 proofreaders working on it and an editor... how is it possible that there are still some grammar errors in my stories?
Also, I was going to add something in the author's notes regarding all those characters that appeared seemingly all at once, but it slipped my mind. Now it's there, hope it will clear some questions.
3905845
You know, one of this days... I'm going to figure out how the feature box works.
So much telling...
I would know more than anybody- people really hate Flash Sentry. I get it if they hate his human form, but nobody should hate his pony form, because there just isn't enough info about him that is canon for anybody to really hate him other than the fact that they are just jealous of Twilight Sparkle or something stupid like that.
Anyways, this looks quite interesting to me. I like the idea. I was going to do something similar but you beat me to it (although in my story they are going to have a son). But I usually only like reading stories in one shot, so I'll give you my thumbs up for now and wait for it to be over to read it fully.
Edit: People who downvote every positive comment on my own FlashLight story and every pro-Flash comment are a prime example of the immaturity of FlashLight haters. Seriously? You guys really hate him that badly? Wow.
3905828 It's kinda ironic how you are saying there are grammar errors when you used the word "lot's" haha
3905828 I could be wrong, but I think a story gets featured basically randomly based on how many views and likes it gets based on how much time has passed since it has been posted. If it is popular in a short period of time, it gets featured.
I kind of wish the pre-readers could decide which stories get featured. That way it's all clop out there, and there are so many good stories that never get featured.
3905894 Yeah, I know, show not tell. Next chapters will be better in that regard (at least, I think so). I only did it here cause I needed to give a quick exposition of this universe, which isn't the main focus of the story. If you're interested in that, you can look it up on kilala's deviant art fanarts, like I mentioned in the author's notes.
On one hand, Flash Sentry.
On the other, the OCs are pretty cool.
I'll give it a read.
3905906
Lol, it is, but I'm no grammar whiz if it's my own.
I can pick out other stuff but it's harder for me to see my own mistakes.
3905941 I 100% agree with that! Goodness sake, I'll look over my stories 5 times and still not see my own mistakes.
3905913
If I may suggest, for next time at least, it's not really needed for you to blatantly lay it all out in the first chapter like that. This appears to be the beginning of a longfic, so you can drop that kind of info piecemeal. The way you have it now is two straight paragraphs of exposition that grinds the pacing to a screeching halt. There are so many names and relations piled up right on top of each other, I had to go back and read them three times, and even then I was still a bit confused!
But hey, I'm just happy that you seem to have more original ships than most! I'm very interested in who belongs to who.
The OCs on the cover image are pretty cool, rather.
NOPE
Nope, nope nope nope
I thought we were done with this mysterious dragon eyes thing
but no
Love the idea of Twilight's foal meeting Trixie's
The two main OC designs are neat
but then we drove off a cliff
Right into Mysterious Edgy OC Land
Also why is it always the mane 6's foals that end up as the same Elements as their parents?
I didn't know friendship was hereditary.
> Starburst, the daughter of Princess Twilight Sparkle and Prince Flash Sentry
*cringes* Good choice. Even a random black and red OC would be better.
3905903
> nobody should hate his pony form
You want the mane6 got a love interests?
3905964 Dude, it's not like they're sleeping together or anything. It's just a bloody crush. Nothing will ever happen in the show so there's no reason to hate him or the writers that write about him.
But, to be honest, yes. I would like at least one member of the mane 6 married by the end of the series. Doesn't matter who, but it would be nice if they could have bigger private lives while still being elements of harmony. Like Dash joins the Wonderbolts but remains an element when needed and she is still best friends with everypony, for example, but doesn't have to be with them every waking moment of her life.
3905942
Agreed, but I have to do it on my own since I don't have a pre-reader... XD
I also don't send chapters out fast enough to make it worth it.
Still, I've been told that I'm a good editor for a few of the people that I have helped myself.
Kinda reminds me of Lion King 2; Kiara (Starburst) and Kovu (Trixie's colt)
Wow. This is just so fun to read. I can't wait for the next chapter.
3905033 Did you seriously just tell someone to kill themselves over a ship you don't like? What the hell is wrong with you?
3905033
The funny thing is, whenever I read this, all I see is 'I'm so lonely, pay attention to me.'
I suppose it technically worked. After all, I paused to mock you.
All you've really done is convince me that I should give this fic a chance out of spite, though.
3905964 No, a red and black OC would not be a better choice, that is what I call a stupid comment.
3906028 I don't want to be mean, but shouldn't Starburst Gum sue you for using their name because they had used the name first?
I mean, it's not like he stole your story or anything. He just used the same name that you used. And it's actually a somewhat common word. So why should he change it? I mean, you can't even copyright song titles, so why should you copyright a fictional character name that also happens to just be a noun?
3906028 Like I said, Starburst, her name, and all the other characters belong to kilala, so I can't change a thing with them. Besides, why do you care so much that there are two characters with the same name within the ocean of OC bronies had created over the last 3,5 years?
We are all writing fanfictions over here, and we keep creating characters who mostly have nouns and/or adjectives for their names. Having some names being used a few times by different writers isn't that surprising.
Also, I have no idea why people hate this shipping so much. Granted, I myself am not a fan, but seriously, that pony had, like, two lines in the entire show, so I really don't think he should be held responsible for the actions of his human counterpart
.
3906067 I know, but you're accusing him of stealing your character simply because you had the same name of a character before he did. I assure you somebody had that name before you did. And somebody before him. And so on. It happens.
3906067 As I said, I was not aware of your story. I cannot even find it. And the one that created this character is kilala
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/343/3/0/starburst_by_kilala97-d6xeel7.jpg
She already appeared in a few stories on fimfic prior to mine.
3906088 Yes, but you also miss the point that it's also just a coincidence and just because somebody came after you he shouldn't have to change anything because it's not like you're the only person on this website to use that name or even have the couple have a foal together. It's not like you're making money off of this either and this writer is stealing it from you. So why make a big deal and force somebody else to change it?
3905033
Stop being a jackass and grow the fuck up.
If you don't like something suck it up and keep walking Princess.
3906122 Ok, fair enough. Good luck with your story as well.
3906067 3906074
Seeing that this conversation may go way out of hand soon, allow me to direct you the link to an artwork created in November 18 of 2013 that first used the name 'Starburst', which created a universe that help provided the setting and material for not only this fanfic story, but also others before and those yet to come.
While the name would be used over and over again, it doesn't mean that you still used the name again that shares no relations to the "Next Gen" universe and be independent.
EDIT: Just saw that it has been resolved, sorry about that.