• Member Since 10th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 3rd, 2022

KaBar42


I write pones and Humans. Or, at least, try to. Also a massive faggot for Sabaton. PM me Joakim pics.

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When Xenolestia transports Equestria to Earth to begin conversion, she runs into a roadblock. A mysterious human confronts her.

This is an ACB, if you don't like, don't read.

If you like or favorite this story, please leave a comment explaining why.
Same if you did like, or disliked the story. Please leave a comment explaining why.

Now with a Rage Review!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 111 )

3837171

A.) Maybe.
B.) Are you a guy?
C.) May I ask what you like about it?

3837175 Bro, I'm a guy, and dude. I'm agnostic. You portrayed the bringer of death very well. You didn't make him have massive terrifying wings. He was blunt and to the point. For that, I commend you.

3837183

Well, thank you very much. I wanted to make it obvious he wasn't human (hence being nine feet), but make him resemble a human.

3837189 No problem. Props to you.

3837216

Thank you very much. May I ask what you like about it?

3837221 Though the story was kinda, meh, I just how much of a badass Michael can be without actually fighting. Which in my opinion is more awesome than characters with huge guns who for some reason can't fight worth shit, eh. I like a character who also curb stomps Tyrant Celestia, quite literally too, eh.

3837247

Well, he is supposed to be an angel, so. Its kind of a given.

But, still, thank you very much.

What'd you think of his monologue?

3837252 Well, at first he was straight to the point to where the Guards thought he insulted the Princess, which in terms of culture or tradition it may as well be. Which I thought was good. Tyrant Celestia needs to be insulted or otherwise it wouldn't be awesome, eh. And he was pretty calm telling his warning even though he was stabbed which would have made anyone except for RAMBO cry in pain, eh.

But when he got to the whole snake part I thought that where it really got awesome! The thought of living again even after death is cruel which is a good punishment for evil beings such as Tyrant Celestia.

3837278

I actually got the idea for the snake from "Genesis", where Lucifer is turned into the snake we know today.

3837282 Yeah, I'm not into reading things related to any sort of religion, but I'm open minded to them, eh. So unless I do some research I wouldn't know any about Lucifer or the Archangels, eh.

Nevertheless I enjoyed reading this, eh.

Excellent! I was rather impresses with the "Judgement" scene. Oh Xelly got what she deserved this time!:trollestia:

Ohh, me likes. :rainbowkiss:
My story also has Michael in it, but much more... action-y. :twilightblush:

Humans are Superior Bitches!!!

Huzzah. I still wanted the Elements to die, but crushing Celestia more than makes up for it.

3837638

So, that was your favorite part?

3837639 I'd actually have to say the part when the Elements and Luna turn against her is.

3837647

Aahh, okay. Well glad to know that you like the story.

3837639

The Judgement scene, obviously.

DISCLAIMER: I have read (at least) one decent ACB style fic once, and so in my endless optimism I decided to give this one a chance (being a short one-shot helped).

This is ridiculously bad. Some reasons off the top of my head (some spoilers!):

- it's formatted badly (the dialogue)
- misspellings (especially in the author's notes)
- scattered errors in punctuation
- clumsy writing
- Celestia is only 4 ft 10
- Celestia murders her dad with a pillow
- Michael struts about in the throne room like an idiot (takes two steps, stops, takes another two, stops again)
- everything that "happened 1200 years ago"
- zero characterization except for Michael (he's a tool), Celestia is OOC to such absurd lengths that justifying any of it would take a minimum of thousand extra words
- CAPS LOCK, using the Royal Canterlot Voice as some special power/gimmick, abbreviating it to RCV
- Luna is an exposition mare
- Luna has the idea that religions = God, Angels, Lucifer, Satan, which effectively means she didn't even read the Wikipedia page
- Michael predicts the future
- wank (oh that 9 ft angel in his tennis shoes and hoodie)
- the dialogue is so bad I think it might be intentional
- atrocious dialogue tags
- story name: Michael, chapter name: Michael, first line: Michael

Just a few... Anyway, on a personal note I think the message and theme of the story is handled unsubtly and gracelessly here.

However, as I always say: you can't fault a story for what it does right. In this case it's Michael's speech, which is kinda cool if you're into that sort of thing.

I feel it's a bit rushed. I think it's because this skips the build up and goes straight for the climax. Then again, maybe it's just me.

Great fic, really cathartic. Also, I couldn't help but imagine Michael as Lord Genome. At least his voice anyway.

3837278
I agree, I also find it rather fitting that, after what she had planned, that she's forever trapped in a form not her own. I've seen that in another fic that turned her into an immortal, powerless human with her name marked on her forehead for all to see. Though I think I liked this one better.

3838476

Well thank you for the compliment. I know what fic you are talking about as well. It is also kind of ironic about what happened here.

3838872
Yeah, a being claiming to be all powerful being cast down into the form of treachery itself? A fitting punishment.

3838099 Ikr, Celestia is clearly 4 ft ten and a half. Get it right KaBar41

3838945

Kind'a what I was going for.

3839192
Good luck on future stories.

3839228

Thank you very much.

While not religious myself, I find this to be a very good story. Thanks for writing :twilightsmile:

3839524

Thank you for the compliment. I'm glad you enjoyed it. May I ask what your favorite part was?

3839539 Well, I liked your subtle approach of rendering the humans immune to whatever magical effects Celestia was trying to employ. "Oh, yes, a world with no magic should be affected by magic!" There aren't enough face-hoofs right now! :facehoof::facehoof::facehoof: :twilightsheepish: Hope to see more of your stories around! :twilightsmile:

3839582

That was subtle?

Well, still, thank you very much.

And I will have more stories.

3839698 Well, I didn't really know if you were implying that humans were immune to magic because magic didn't exist on that plane or that the equine's could bring their own magic over, so I took it as the former. Subtle, not really the correct word; a better one might be irrelevant irrelevant, since it was a small little thing that wouldn't really be worth explaining considering the conclusion. It could have gone either way really, I just brought it up since I'm bored and being nit-picky. Sorry

3839912

Well in my headcanon, magic doesn't exist outside if the barrier. But Celestia can manipulate the ponies so easily because they have a herd instinct. Humans… not so much.

You need to make one where Lucifer does the deed. I mean even the lord of hell has standards.

3840001

You just gave me a brilliant idea!

3840022 No problem! How about calling it "The lesser of two evils." ? :twilightsmile:

xTSGx #39 · Jan 25th, 2014 · · 10 ·

Same if you did like, or disliked the story. Please leave a comment explaining why.

Downvoted for being a Mary Sue Deus Ex Machina (literally) "Humanity gets revenge" story. Next time you want Archangel Micheal to deus ex it up with extremely blunt biblical allegory, have Celestia turn into a dragon. Then you can make it compliant with Revelation 12.

3842477


This you and I.


Do not enjoy eachother.

Everything is overrated.

Everything has and or will be done be before.

This logic is just not pointless but inlogical.

There one of milllions of universe of thing happens.

do you really think any idea is original at all.

Archangel Michael passing down god's judgement onto Celestia and freeing the others from the lies of the devil incarnate.

that's basically a great of summarizing this

great job btw

3852982

Thank you very much.

Well this stroked my human ego and pride quite a bit and Micheal was a badass

Comment posted by KaBar42 deleted Feb 4th, 2014

I expect nothing less from the Mike Man.

I would have had Celestia succeed in biting Michael, only to discover she has no fangs.

i wanted to like this but it was just to heavy handed on the xenolestia stuff and you just told us her schemes straight out of the gate. i would have rather come to it gradually as michael revealed shit to luna. honestly this was boring.

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