• Member Since 10th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

KaBar42


I write pones and Humans. Or, at least, try to. Also a massive faggot for Sabaton. PM me Joakim pics.

T
Source

Celestia may be going crazy...

And how shall these "negotiations" through e-mail turn out?


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Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 620 )

It's funny but in a dark manner.

I see "Solar Flare" having her ass kicked by Humanity. And the other Equestrinians wanting a piece of her (I mean, really, she just trashed diplomatic relationships with Humans. The other Equestrinians probably want friendly cooperation with the Humans, not a horrible, bloody war that will only end with the hearts of stars being brought to Earth).

You have my interest

I approve. And the cover is also my image. Haven't changed my image since I joined. I love the smell of city-destroyers in the morning.:pinkiecrazy:

Time for Twilight to administer Celestia's medication again.

And craft an apology email.

This looks pretty entertaining!

inb4 lordofmyth or Alondro.

Okay.... Celestia has gotten into the expired tea, it seems...

Or the wacky tobaccy...

Well, shit, folks, you better prepare for three things in the oncoming Humanity vs. Equestria war debate:

1. Ad hominem
2. Magical head-canon pony wanking
3. Actual physics.

You'd better bring some popcorn, people, because the shit is gonna hit the fan.:pinkiecrazy:

EDIT: Oh, and watch out for No-Limits Fallacies. And take a shot for how many times someone says something along the lines of "They can control the stars, therefore they can detect and destroy hypersonic missiles! Because it's not like those two tasks are different in any way at all, right?"
EDIT 2: Also, "MUH DISCORD! MUH ELEMENTS!"

Before anyone gets offended, if you seriously think that this is what I think of you, this is all for shits and giggles.

Hmm, was this story inspired by that other one about the Diamond Dog King?

This made me smile all the same. Looks like Tia needs to lay off the cocaine. It's a helluva drug, doncha know?

5043307

It was actually inspired by that fic and this fic.

5043314 Ah, okay.

And I must say this is a lot better than that other fic, How a Human-Pony War Would Actually Happen.

5043324

I never actually bothered to read that fic. I just lurked the comments and arguing with people who said ponies would win in a war.:eeyup::moustache:

5043329 It was basically just a mall ninja circlejerk that gets wayyyyy more upvotes than it deserves. Hell, I don't even disagree that the US of A would feed Tia her own plot on a silver platter, it was just poorly written.

5043353

At least you aren't trying to say that she'd slaughter the entire US Armed Forces.

5043370 Pff, yeah. And then monkeys would fly out of my butt.

5043314 Names? I can't use links.

5043324
Indeed. At least this fic didn't pretend to know anything about modern day weapons systems. That other fic was a joke.

+1 Favorite
Why? Because.... Well I can't really pinpoint one thing, so I'll just leave it at that.

5043245
Well, the Elements would not work on a human force, because they've only been used against single targets. Sure, in the changeling invasion they were going to use them, but I believe they wouldn't work against a whole army.

Discord is a poor argument: He rarely takes anything seriously, doesn't appear to fight anything, and his powers are hard to define.

Magical shields fall easily and magic beams don't seem all that strong, since the only time they got remotely close to killing something was when Nightmare Moon attacked Celestia.

But... the power to control the Sun and Moon (Moon is not to be underestimated) would be considerably more powerful than a lousy nuke. Luna could literally wipe out Earth completely if she brought the moon much closer to Earth, but that would be a rather sad victory because it would leave nothing to conquer. She could keep Earth in a perpetual total eclipse, which would most likely wipe out most of Earth's crops, plunging the world into famine, but she'd have to be alive and holding the moon in place 24/7 to do that.

I'm indifferent, is celestial possessed by chrysalis or nightmare moon, cause I don't feel celestial would act like this.

Dear Mr. KaBar42

I love you.

No homo,
WarKing76

Under the authority of the Solar Crown, I, Princess Celestia, Sovereign of the Sun demand that you cede power of the United States to become a territory of Equestria.

And that my friends is how you tell every rule of diplomacy to go fuck itself.

Humanity shall open two cans on this day. A can of whoopass and sunshine.

5043513
Yeah. My thought's almost exactly. (Just with more editing.)

I dunno, the seeming juxtaposition of Nice/smart to batshit is a bit much for me, but it was a fun read nonetheless. I guess because of the clear juxtaposition and violent outbursts from this normally sane and calm hearted individual.

Too bad nukes weren't dropped.

I have a sudden image of Stryker vehicles rolling down the streets of Canterlot and Harrier jump jets above them..

:pinkiecrazy:

KaBar42 #29 · Sep 23rd, 2014 · · 1 · Day 1 ·

5043685
Who said nukes weren't going to be dropped? :trixieshiftleft: Seriously, tell me so I can smack them in the face.


5043498

But... the power to control the Sun and Moon (Moon is not to be underestimated) would be considerably more powerful than a lousy nuke. Luna could literally wipe out Earth completely if she brought the moon much closer to Earth, but that would be a rather sad victory because it would leave nothing to conquer. She could keep Earth in a perpetual total eclipse, which would most likely wipe out most of Earth's crops, plunging the world into famine, but she'd have to be alive and holding the moon in place 24/7 to do that.

Luna could literally wipe out Earth completely if she brought the moon much closer to Earth,

But she can't. Equestria's sun and moon are not comparable to ours. They are literally completely different things.

Also, you're forgetting the fact that a nuke gets hundreds of times hotter than the core of our sun.

So yes, controlling lousy nukes is better than just controlling a giant ball in the sky that's so fucking specialized you can't use it as a weapon.

5043707 Should I be getting my hopes up for a drop of a nuclear weapon on Equestrian soil? If so, two words...

Tsar. Bomba.

5043707
Uh... who said Equestria's sun was different from ours? It is a yellow star with the same apparent brightness as ours, so it should be quite similar to ours.

Two, the heat of a nuclear bomb has no relativity to my argument, since not only did I not even explain how the sun would be used (I used the moon), but I didn't use the sun's heat as an example. Heat has almost nothing to do with it.

Three, the Sun has far more heat than a nuke, even though the nuke is "hotter". Heat is a measurement of total energy, not temperature.

Oh, another one of these.

5043740
I know right?

5043735

Uh... who said Equestria's sun was different from ours? It is a yellow star with the same apparent brightness as ours, so it should be quite similar to ours.

I don't feel like typing out an explanation so I'll link to the blog.

Here.

5043779
Read whole blog.
Summary: Luna can't move stars thousands and millions of light years away.

Nothing about Equestria's sun and Sol being different.

5043797

Shit, sorry. I forgot it wasn't in the actual blog. It was in the comments.

Here you go.

Tokai #38 · Sep 23rd, 2014 · · 2 · Day 1 ·

5043740

I don't think you of all people are in any position to complain.

5043806
Hmmm. The apparent lack of orbiting behavior of the Sun and Moon does pose questions. There is indeed a strong case for Equestria's sun to be unaffected by Gravity, and therefore unlike Sol.

Let me postulate another theory: Celestia controls the planet's rotation. Obviously, there would have to be some sort of counter to centrifugal force, but seeing as how the alternative is a mass-less sun, I think the physics are jacked up already.

The Moon, however, is easier to deal with: It's possible that it's a geostationary moon, and Luna moves it to the other side every night. Then, even if she were incapacitated, the moon would remain in orbit, but not appear to change position.

5043839

I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

Oh gods, not more human-wank stories. Every time one of these comes up, anyone saying anything that isn't to the tune of "humans auto-win, it's so easy ponies are scrubs" is viciously attacked or trolled incessantly.

Nevermind the pointless debate and people standing around discussing how common military equipment and tactics designed to work against human sensibilities is obviously superior to anything a magic-heavy world can do, and bringing in unsupported headcanons that hinge on real-world issues rather than plausible comparisons between the two, making such arguments true but only if considered from that person's viewpoint.

It gets old after awhile, guys! Same damn thing every time.

nice Story, to threaten the US with bows and rams, well done, good Story so far, Keep going:rainbowlaugh:

5043845
Ah, the "rotating the planet" argument.

This one falls apart due to the fact that rotating the planet really fast (which they would need to do in order to "set" the sun and moon as quickly as they have done in the show) will "overspin" the planet and create enough kinetic energy to rip the planet apart, like spinning a ball of melting chocolate.

Even if that doesn't happen, the planet isn't one uniform material. Even the inside of the planet should be made up of non-uniform layers (solid high-pressure core, molten mantle, rocky crust, etc.). Not to mention that the things above the crust vary drastically in their physical properties. For example, fluids like the water in the ocean and the gases in the atmosphere flow—well, fluidly—in response to forces acting upon them. So what happens when you quickly rotate the planet and then stop the rotation suddenly?

Well, for one, the atmosphere and oceans aren't doing to suddenly stop in time with the core of the planet—they've got momentum, and they flow fluidly. And the ground you're on right now is actually a gigantic slab of stone floating on a sea of magma, that moves around according to the principles of plate tectonics. So what you have are explosive blasts of air capable of obliterating everything sticking out of the crust short of giant hunks of rocks hundreds of miles in diameter, mega-tsunamis of truly unimaginable height and volume that roll over entire continents, tectonic plates smashing into each other like a 50-car pile-up causing magnitude 10 tremors practically everywhere that rip apart the ground and create truly chaotic rock formations and chasms that swallow entire cities, and to top it all off everything that isn't REALLY secured into the bedrock is going to get sent flying like they were hit by a battle tank doing 160 miles per hour due to their inertia, happening all around the world in the blink of an eye.

So, basically the end of the world.

OOC

But that isn't the worst. OOC is also used as an excuse for this president Dante :rainbowlaugh: to look cooler in comparison. It is also an excuse for him to state how powerful US is.

So basically, you've pulled a nation ruler out of your ass and compared them to the also fictional US president.

The reason why this whole fic exists is some sort of patriotic narcissism. That, and maybe we have another fad coming.

media.tumblr.com/81ec706d38218f4afeac9c4755f36131/tumblr_inline_mnp0pwQLAa1qz4rgp.jpg

5043948
First of all, you assumed Equus (Or whatever its name is) is an Earth sized planet, and therefore would need to rotate fast enough that it would break the planet apart. A smaller planet would not require the same speed, right?

Second, you assumed a molten core. I may be wrong, but I do not recall any volcanoes or even geysers appearing in the show. So if that is the case, could it not be that the planet has a solid core?

Third, I acknowledge the problem of inertia and centrifugal force. But once again, the alternatives are either an energy-producing sun with no mass, or Celestia with such insane magical power she can negate gravity.

This fic is pretty dumb. I realise it's meant to be a pisstake but jesus christ.

5043845
I subscribe to the theory that Celestia controls the sun because fuck you. (By this I mean there is no reason other than the poorly defined concept of "magic."

But for real, in my head canon (the head canon of someone completely uninformed of the basics of astronomy) is that Equestria is actually on a rogue planet, and their "sun" is merely a projection of Celestia's magical magic.

5043971

First of all, you assumed Equus (Or whatever its name is) is an Earth sized planet, and therefore would need to rotate fast enough that it would break the planet apart. A smaller planet would not require the same speed, right?

That's kind of like saying "cars don't move as fast as jets, so getting hit by a car should be okay."
—It's still a planet, which means that compared to you or I, it's fucking huge. The definition of a planet is an object massive enough to achieve hydrostatic equilibrium (be rounded under its own gravity), but not enough to sustain core fusion like a star, and has cleared its neighboring region of planetesimals. The least massive known planet still has a mass of about 119 sextillion kilograms, which is about twice as massive as the Moon, and it probably has a radius of 2000-2200 kilometers, about 33% the length of Earth's average radius. While the rotational energy should only be 20% that of the Earth's... again, refer to the "cars and jets" analogy above as to why this still isn't going to make any practical difference in the end. Because that's still ultimately gonna be far more than enough energy to completely wreck absolutely everything on the surface of the planet.

...And this would still likely rip the planet itself up, since a smaller planet, while rotating slower, would also have proportionately weaker gravity holding itself together!

Second, you assumed a molten core. I may be wrong, but I do not recall any volcanoes or even geysers appearing in the show. So if that is the case, could it not be that the planet has a solid core?

Firstly, the Earth has a solid core itself. But it's surrounded by layers that either are or aren't solid. It's a bit more complicated than that, and also it's unconfirmed since we can't just dig down and take a look without being crushed into objects the size of tennis balls by the rock-liquifying pressure. Secondly, while I'm not going to get too deep into the science of plate tectonics, they're kind of essential for the formation of mountains and trenches, the shape of continents, and many important minerals like feldspars, pyroxenes, and olivines are entirely dependent on magma cooling—and in fact, a great many gemstones and crystals form through the cooling of magma. And the formation of conditions suitable for life itself on this planet is often attributed in part to volcanism. And really, volcanism can be thought of as the "life" of a planet itself, which is why Mars is often referred to as being a "dead planet".

Third, I acknowledge the problem of inertia and centrifugal force. But once again, the alternatives are either an energy-producing sun with no mass, or Celestia with such insane magical power she can negate gravity.

Oooooooooor potentially it's very similar to this example of classical cosmology, with the "top of the sky" literally being the boundary of an immaterial sphere of space-time (or prudy lil' hoers majik, I don't fucking know) that surrounds the "planet", with the sun and moon (and stars) being a part of that sphere, like it was an image painted onto the inside of the hollow glass ball of a snow globe?
christianorthodox.net/images/world3.jpg
——Because that would make a lot of sense to me given how their sun and moon seem to behave.

5044011

Equestria is actually on a rogue planet, and their "sun" is merely a projection of Celestia's magical magic.

...So how did they survive before Celestia? How did life on the planet survive before ponies? How did they come up with the concept of a "sun" in the first place if there wasn't one beforehand? And what about before intelligent magical life even appeared? How did "sun-seeking" life even come into being on this rogue planet if there was almost no light to be had?

Also, unicorns were (purportedly) working in groups to move the sun before Celestia was even born. It's important to remember that Celestial hasn't always been there like some kind of timeless creator deity—she's just a really powerful magical pony, like Twilight, who possesses longevity; not an otherworldly divine being.

magical magic

parallelsoundgroup.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/wehavereachedthatpointwereweshouldturnback_42eb55d62a4625694cb06f2844b92e1a.jpg

5044032
Alright, I'll concede the first point, since my knowledge of astrophysics is very limited.

Yes, I knew Earth had a solid inner core. I phrased that poorly.
However, a simple explanation for the second point: Magic. This is a world of

magical magic

Actually no. I have a better explanation. I assume for practical purposes Equestria exists in another universe, not just another galaxy or star system. So, given the idea of a multiverse, where an infinite number of universes exist in which Equestria exists, could it not be possible that there exists a universe where, by incredible chance, matter formed into Equus and ponies by itself? A sort of spontaneous generation of Equestria?

Third point: That is the dumbest model of the universe I have ever seen. But given that it's a show for six year old girls, why not?

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