- Member Since 8th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Mar 13th, 2013
TAW
Hi, I'm TAW. I write terrible erotic my little pony fan fiction about cartoon horses having sex with each other, or vaguely defined human audience-inserts, for fun. Because... uh. I have no shame?
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Hah!
This was fun! It's been ages since I last read a fun AJ x Rarity fic. So thanks for that! It really sends me back to Swayback Mountain; I had forgotten how fun these two were.
The sentiment that AJ's hat is already perfect for her is very cute, IMO. I really enjoyed that part.
Idly thinking back to Sweet and Elite, I wonder what the Canterlot snoods would say if they realized they were talking to the bearers of the Elements. Ah well, I've rambled enough.
Thanks!
308964
No, thank you!
"Fun" is what I go for, the vast majority of the time. If it's not fun to read, then I don't really think it has any place calling itself FiM fan fiction - a lighthearted attitude is important, I think, even in something as absurd as making horses have sex.
AJ would get along great with the 10th Doctor Whooves.
*First impressions*
Angry sex?
ANGRY SEX
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
309406
Fair points, though personally I disagree that "ya'll're" is /too/ ugly and I'd probably still have used it anyway. I did notice near the end just how often I'd typed "ya'll", though, it was... yeah, that should have been edited.
With the narrative, that was... somewhat intentional? Applejack's feelings were purposefully pretty simple, though I should have stressed it harder if you didn't notice - my fault, sorry.
I think you're right in the major criticism that it just fell apart at the end, I'll try and do better.
309376 "Don't let me eat pears! I HATE pears!"
So far it's cute.
Faved
My reactions through story:
> no proper violent sex despite tons of suggestions at that:
Awesome story, however if you start suggesting some more violent sex, carry on writing it. Or else I go angry and all
The end was slightly weird and could've been of course better, however I liked the 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' type mentality there. You have some talent though, that much is for certain
309745
yeah, sorry about that. I guess what I was going for was lampshading every other part of their interaction, where they're never more than a bad sentence away from being at each other's throats but they'd never actually follow through on it, and they're always still friends. But I'm too much of a hack to pull that off properly, so, sorry.
309941
Maybe I'm biased because I actually say things as horrific as ya'll'll in real life, then. And yeah, that last one is a legit error, I have no excuse.
309323 I concur
310069
Oh, my approach to language drives many people mad. I try to take the moral high ground - language evolves, linguistics is the study of how it is and has been, not something to chart its future, but even given that I intentionally go far too far. There's no excuse for having "that shit's my jam" in your vocabulary in 2012. None at all.
"...Rarity threw together on the fly, fighting against that niggling part of her mind..."
Hehe. Niggling;
Annoying or harrying
A black child
I AM SO RACIST!
Also,
"...I can take it. Ya'll'll only be insulting your own dress." why are there two 'll things? It screwed up my mental pronunciation
Very good story overall, though, great storyline.
310419
As much as it pains me to admit this, I've heard this before and even attempted to use it before mentally kicking myself.
It is a contraction for "you all will" -- ya'll'll
I'm tracking this so that I may return to it later and read it. I will give you my verdict once I have read it.
310419
It's like "ya'll", with another "'ll". Just repeat the "'ll" sound again.
This is pretty good! Onwards to the final chapter! ~ALLONS-Y!~
TAW! Man, do I need to read all of your stuff!
So I guess I'll get started with this one! I'll comment for realsies once I've read it.
Why does that last line feel like a cliffhanger?! Augh. The ending doesn't hold up for me, not the way you wrote the characters. There just isn't anyway she(Rarity) could give up on it.
Anyways, I really liked the story.
This is a very cute story. I think the reason I love RariJack so much is the contrast between the two, and this portrayed it perfectly. Well done.
Aww :) I expect this is exactly how those two would work out together. Though I'm surprised Rarity didn't toss AJ into a bathtub... then join her
This certainly is quiet an interesting and maybe downright entertaining Fic featuring Applejack and Rarity together that you certainly capture there overall actions on how they would have acted in the show itself which nevertheless made this all convincing you made them to be all the more fun to read.
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/310/b/a/criminal_spike_by_csimadmax-d4fbc3f.png That surely made me laugh all the more afterwards and even hoping the she would have call out for help when she realize it wasn't normal for Spike to appear just then LOLLL!!!!!
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/249/5/f/ponykoma___apple_acres_by_emlan-d492fw6.png Only made my day all the more amusing that I most thank you for that.
+++++
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/60953-Shadow%20of%20Death/953/49/72960_god_empress_of_ponykind_artist_equestriaprevails_god_emperor_god_empress_lauren_faust_lauren_faust_is_best_pony_meta_oc_warhammer_40k_display.png
"Love the Empress
for She is the salvation of Pony-kind
Obey Her words
for She will lead you into the light of the future,
Heed her wisdom
for She will protect you from Evil
Whisper her prayers with devotion,
for they will save your Soul
Honour Her servants,
for they speak in Her voice
Tremble before Her majesty,
for we all walk in Her immortal shadow."[/b
Awesomesauce
310952
No, no, they'll give it a try. They were just arguing. What I was going for was, "What happens in Canterlot stays in Canterlot, but all that really happened was arguing - they fell in love elsewhere, and that stays". Probably screwed it up. Sorry.
311233
Me too, man. I was getting kinda sick of it by the end, but there's plenty of room for a longer morning after scene. Filled with delicious bubble bath sex and angry cleaning. "Is that dirt on your hoof? You TOUCHED me with this! Oh, Applejack, how could you?!"
flutterrage:Lament the Fallen, For the Empress Laments them All!!!!
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/269/e/4/southern_rarity_and_applejack_by_tristikov-d4b0r44.jpg Still its all good LOLLLL!!!!
+++++
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/60953-Shadow%20of%20Death/953/49/72960_god_empress_of_ponykind_artist_equestriaprevails_god_emperor_god_empress_lauren_faust_lauren_faust_is_best_pony_meta_oc_warhammer_40k_display.png
"Love the Empress
for She is the salvation of Pony-kind
Obey Her words
for She will lead you into the light of the future,
Heed her wisdom
for She will protect you from Evil
Whisper her prayers with devotion,
for they will save your Soul
Honour Her servants,
for they speak in Her voice
Tremble before Her majesty,
for we all walk in Her immortal shadow."[/b
++++Words to Heed+++++
"Let the Sins of the Flesh Be there Weakness, Let there Mind Wonder of Pure Desires! May the Ecstasy be there Calling, For they are Mortals who Crave the Sweetness of Deviation of which to Sate there Hunger. Born of Wanting and of Longing For the Touch that can be Sated Through Pain and Pleasure For which I Provide in its Rawest Form."
+++++Slaanesh Chaos God of Lust, Excess, Pleasure, Perfection and Hedonism-
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/035/0/d/rarity_x_applejack_wip_by_opera_romance-d4olezz.jpg But then again it would have nevertheless in ways of how you written it.
++++++
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/60953-Shadow%20of%20Death/953/49/72960_god_empress_of_ponykind_artist_equestriaprevails_god_emperor_god_empress_lauren_faust_lauren_faust_is_best_pony_meta_oc_warhammer_40k_display.png
"Love the Empress
for She is the salvation of Pony-kind
Obey Her words
for She will lead you into the light of the future,
Heed her wisdom
for She will protect you from Evil
Whisper her prayers with devotion,
for they will save your Soul
Honour Her servants,
for they speak in Her voice
Tremble before Her majesty,
for we all walk in Her immortal shadow."
MY PAINUS APPROVES!
All in all, this was a blast to read! I only wish that there could be another chapter...This was time well spent.
Since you love criticism so much, I'll be sure to post my thoughts on each chapter
I have only a little nitpick here though; "straitening" should be "straightening''. For the rest, this is well-written and sufficiently entertaining.
312255
I'm... going to blame my spellcheck on this, I just took its word on it. Thanks.
The use of the word "ass" seemed a little out of place to me, especially coming from Rarity.
Otherwise, again, very good.
309960 Texas? (lived there for 3 years)
RArity, why you so mean to poor Spike D:
312298
England - about as far away as you can get!
Doesn't really feel like an ending, to be honest. Maybe that's just me wanting to see more RarityxAJ, though.
I have one complaint.
That Rarity is being described as "weak".
Remember Tom? Rarity is many things, but weak she is not.
Well in all honesty, this one turned out differently than those before it.
Kinda miss your one shot formats but this one is a good start. Chapters 1 and 2 grant flow towards chapter 3, but when it reached chapter 3. Well it lacked something, but still gave it a thumbs up because of you being TAW. 
Other than that, some typos and some transition fragments within the chapters but as I said its solid and its good!
309323now go do everything
...........i just had to
img.ponibooru.org/_images/ff9ce23a9e6998db94b03f139a30b40c/70433%20-%20face%20humanization%20Not_bad%20obama%20pinkie_pie%20rage%20reaction_face%20reaction_to_op.png
Although... I kind of felt the change of pace in between chapter 2 and 3. I know that that's your concept, TAW, but this had so much (more) potential
TAW, you wonderful bastard, you've done it again!
A clopfic that's not only brilliantly well wrtten, but also a sheer enjoyment to read!
Also, this, to me, seems to be SCREAMING out for a follow-up!
Bravo, sir Well done.
Bob Sagget!
313944
It's "Complete" in the sense that I feel fairly happy leaving the story there and don't think it needs anything more - certainly not in the sense that I'm done with the two. I like Rarijack, I'm sure I'll get back to them at some point.
I found the one major flaw!
This is but one pairing, using 2 out of 6....... Know what I mean?
5+4+3+2+1 (well i think we got the 1
) so that leaves 14.
But that's the only real flaw I could find.
Eagerly awaiting more.
sad
is sad
>>tellytoy
Well said good sir, well said.
Apparently weird ships are my favorite.
+ 
, 
+ 
and 
+ 
.
I love
Nice one. I approve.
I read the bit about pears and instantly thought of the Doctor.
Holy SHIT! I mean need I say more?!
This was a great story! Just... work on punctuation, okay? You missed a LOT of commas, mate. Always do better, okay? Thumbs up!
Edit: Alright, it was only like, one period that you truly missed. The rest were all commas.
Just one thing... YURI, excelent YURI
351207
I did? Where?