• Member Since 29th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Nov 7th, 2018

Ponydora Prancypants


okay now kiss!

Sequels1

T
Source

This story is a sequel to The Fires of Friendship


Applejack is bitter about her lineage among the wealthy and sophisticated Oranges of Manehattan, who apparently abandoned her simple country family. Rarity is desperate to fit in with the urbane elites of the fashion world, even if it means disparaging and rejecting the Ponyville home she loves. On a trip to the big city for Equestria's famous Fashion Week, Applejack will teach Rarity to be honest and true to herself, and Rarity will show Applejack that a little generosity and forgiveness go a long way. Together, they will learn that each has exactly what the other needs to be complete.

This story is in the same continuity as "The Fires of Friendship," and I suppose it is a sequel of sorts, though there is no need to read that story first. More than anything, this story is birthday present for a dear friend, and a fun celebration of her favorite ship.

The cover art (also a birthday present for our mutual chum) is provided courtesy of superstar art sorcerer WizardWannabe.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 101 )
Thadius #1 · Apr 9th, 2013 · · 26 ·

Sigh, a mane six F/F shipping. You used to be cool Ponydora. Now yer just manestream.

No upvote or downvote from me. Hope yer friend likes her present though.

2400822

True friendship sometimes calls for that extra something special, even if it pushes you far outside your comfort zone, because you want more than anything to make someone you care about happy. In any case, thank you for not downvoting! :twilightsmile: (Oh, and I think I'm still pretty cool).

2400847

To be fair I was trying to make a bad pun/joke, not make some sort of serious statement of the current level of thy absence of thermal energy.

Apparently Im bad at this internets humor.

It's so long!
I won't be able to handle it all at once.
...
Uh, that came out wrong... :rainbowderp:
In any case, I'll definitely read this later. :twilightsmile:

A RariJack story by Prancypants??? :raritystarry:

DREAM COME TRUE! /):rainbowkiss:(\

This was just as sweet as could be, thank you!

I rather enjoyed this, had that sense of innocent romance that one can enjoy with out it feeling like a gaudy clop fic. You've an up vote from me, and honestly I would kinda like to see a bit more of this particular story line, more so in the apple orange family rekindling. But ^_^ I rather enjoyed this and would like to see more from you.

Mane Medic

Over 29,000 words! :raritystarry:

No wonder it took so long. I was kinda waiting for the next chapter of The Abyssal Forge but I guess this is always good too. :raritywink:

I better get the popcorn and sit down on a Friday night.

See you then.

fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/024/2/e/raritydone_by_mrbeattyjr-d5sm9gd.gif

“Whatever,” Stringbean said dismissively. “I modeled a Luxe Paddock original last month that ended up being worn at Princess Twilight Sparkle’s coronation ... after being taken up about ten sizes!” The three models giggled at that. “Now that was fashion.”

"Really? Because she hated it."
"What?"
"Twilight hated the dress. She told me it made her feel frumpy."
Stringbean gave you the perfect opening and you missed it Rarity, how could you :raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair:

“You heard the lady!” Twilight Sparkle shouted. “And you don’t need anypony’s permission to boogie!”

Technically, this is not actually true. And Twilight really should know that, given that her own Boogie License has been revoked seven times.

2402424

Actually, Twilight's first act as Princess was to abolish that licensing requirement. Then Princess Celestia attempted to reinstate it, of course, and now I believe it's tied up in the courts. :twilightsmile:

2402438
Regardless of my actual opinion of this follow-up joke, I am contractually obligated to glare disapprovingly at it :ajbemused: because it conflicts with my own follow-up joke. ("Wait, revoked seven times?" "It was reinstated four times by royal pardon from Celestia, once by royal pardon from Twilight, once by Discord's chaos magic, and once by the Cutie Mark Crusader Notaries Public.")

What's to say about a present? This story seems like a lovely gift, and unless I've got a very skewed vision of the situation, I'm sure it came very much appreciated. I know I'd have appreciated it, for one.

At any rate, because of the above, it seems a bit wrong to actually approach this with a critical eye, because it almost feels as though it isn't my place to even talk about it. However, since it's here for all of us to read, not just your recipient, I'm going to take a few brief stabs at critique. This piece works best when it's at its most sensual, and not just in the prurient sense. Everything you do to set the scene with sights and smells and tastes, all of that is top-notch.

On the other hand, some of the early pacing is a bit haphazard; much as I love the conservatory scene, I almost wanted to see the story start with stepping into the city (which, in the current version, comes in at scene 3). It feels like, with a little work, the important plot seeds could have been covered in the city itself, giving us a more consistent and coherent setting and tightening the beginning. Additionally, the two intertwining plot lines don't really seem to support or harmonize with each other; the themes seem to be just slightly out of sync and prevent them from working together to make something greater than the sum of their parts. Instead, they make something that exactly is the sum of their parts, which isn't bad, per se, but it does leave the story with a bit of a schizophrenic feel.

Lastly, the final "encore" is delightful. It's rare to see theatrical timing work so well in the written page. Nicely done. So, thumbs up, and you are to be commended on an excellent present. Hope the day was a good one!

Sooo... What's this about the spirits of Nightmare trying to use Rarity to bring about an era of evil or whatever? I'm not super clear on that.

Did I miss a story somewhere?

2403203

I completely agree with your thoughts on this. I'm sure this story would have greatly benefited from the sort of pitiless pre-reader who could have given me the extra nudge I needed to cut here, add there, and modify all over. That said, I'm very heartened by the fact that your favorite bits are also the ones I feel are most successful. As a birthday present, at least, I'm fairly certain this story works! :twilightsheepish:

2403226

It's the plot of the current comic arc. :raritywink:

2403273 Ohhhhh. Man, i need to get back to the comic store. I'm slacking off.

2400820 its nice to see you're still around:pinkiehappy:

As soon as I saw the sex tag, I could just imagine that conversation. "Happy birthday! I wrote you gay porn!" :pinkiecrazy:

Seriously though, wonderful story. Rarijack is always a fun pairing, and you dug into both characters' dual natures really well. Also ABBA.

inveigling

Right into my list of words to use more. You've added more than a few of those.

Oatis elevators. OH YOU

Rarity bit her tongue. That dress was the most hideous article of clothing she had seen in years, and it had taken every ounce of strength she had not to tackle Twilight to the ground and tear it from her body, or alternatively, gouge out her own eyes so that she was no longer forced to gaze upon such an insult to good taste.

Let's be fair now, Twilight's dress looked okay. It was Celestia and Luna that were wearing some of the most gaudy, mismatched things I've ever seen. :duck:

I'm loving how well Manehatten is described. I felt like I was right there with Rarity taking in the sights.

“I’ve seen you get your hooves dirty once or twice. The rest of you too. Looked real good from where I was standin’.”

Well now AJ, that was a tad bit flirty. Oh and that bit with the strawberries was as well... Hmn, yeah, once you've moved to the bed it's well past flirty. You go girl! Er, girls!

Wow, harsh truth from Hoity there.

“Hoity Toity, you crusty, musty old thing. Back again, all the way from the capital, and what’s this, it seems you’ve brought a big, puffy marshmallow for our lunch. How thoughtful! Unfortunately, unlike some ponies, I’m dieting.”

Oh no she didn't! :rainbowlaugh:

I just love the model names.

That dress was the most hideous article of clothing she had seen in years, and it had taken every ounce of strength she had not to tackle Twilight to the ground and tear it from her body, or alternatively, gouge out her own eyes so that she was no longer forced to gaze upon such an insult to good taste.

No kidding. That's exactly the reaction I expect Rarity had to Twilight's coronation dress. That thing was terrible.

The Oranges! And not surprisingly, not as bad as the Ponyville clan was thinking they were. And they have a thriving orange tree grove in the middle of the city with terrible winters, that's something that would count for a lot among orchard folk like the Apples. I approve of them.

Ah yeah, excellent changes to Rarity's show. And that Rocky feller too, hah!

Very nice Ponydora, as excellent as always.

2403959

And that Rocky feller too, hah!

:facehoof::facehoof:

I came for RariJack, and I got RariJack+ More.

This story was time well spent on a Wednesday morning, and since I have no concept of writing at all, I can't provide anything negative to say...So yeah...This is a gift that is appreciated by even those who it wasn't intended for.

Well, time to get sappy and hackish:

A good gift can be enjoyed by someone, but a great gift can be enjoyed by everyone

Although I'm not the real recipient, thanks Dora for making a really great gift. Even if I had to stay up two hours past my bedtime to read it. I'll totally get you back for that, mark my words. Maybe not today, maybe not the day after, but one day, I will disparage your wall hangings and not apologize for a whole hour.

Holy shit Prancy, a 29k word chapter? I wish i had your drive. :rainbowderp:

2403266
And that's just it, isn't it. It's a present. There's something a bit odd about subjecting your gift to the merciless grilling of a third party who isn't even the intended recipient.

I can't tell you how frustrating it was that this story finally showed up only after I had found myself buried in work for the day (combined with the time demands of finishing my own present for Di.). And then seeing that it was nearly thirty thousand words long... It pretty much guaranteed that I wasn't going to be able to tackle it until this morning.

Regardless, it was well worth the wait! You did an outstanding job fleshing out Manehattan into a fabulous setting, and the story really thrived off of the energy you gave it there. The introduction to the city and the hotel were vivid, and the interactions within crackled with some good romantic tension.

I admit that I was expecting the reconciliation with the Oranges to play a role in the fashion show (while Rarity has her ins with Canterlot royalty, surely the Orange family must count as Manehattan royalty of sorts, which might have more sway with the fashion industry. Of course, it sounds like Aunt Orange isn't exactly on the bleeding edge of fashion herself...). However, it must be said that I truly loved Rarity's honest and triumphant show as it unfolded. Great job demonstrating the rewards of her generosity and showing the magic of friendship prevailing. Tying in the invention of the elevator, the various famous connections that Rarity has made (the show barely scratched the surface there) and the love of Ponyville really just brought it all together beautifully.

So many fun touches here, from the nods to the "Nightmare Rarity" comic, the references that place this in continuity with last year's gift "The Fires of Friendship", the callbacks to the season finale, the Manhattan puns, and all the way through to the broad (and toxic) personalities of the fashion ponies, this story really was something... And I think I have to agree with Hoity in regards to that.

Such a sweet and generous gesture to write such an undertaking for a friend! You both clearly picked the right best pony with which to relate. Here's looking forward to next year!

"It was one reason that Applejack was alone, now well into her third decade of life."

Huh? Applejack is in her mid-thirties?

2405174

I admit, I momentarily made the same mistake upon first reading the line, but then corrected myself:

0-10: the first decade of one's life.
10-20: the second.
20-30: the third.

AJ is in her 20's in this story.

2405012

I'm so glad you enjoyed this! You and Skywriter have made some really good points about the structure, and I wish I had more time to address those, but as I was writing I kept finding myself adding more text instead of editing! I think, though, stories like this are the perfect time to be self-indulgent. And now I can say I've ended a story with a Bollywood-style musical number!

I admit I went a little overboard with the references here, maybe ... There's everything from real-world puns and hidden song lyrics, to jokes from show dialogue, "Friendship is Witchcraft," "Rainbow Dash Presents," the comics, Applejack's famous "silly pony" song, and my own other fanfics. I really had fun coming up with alternate pony versions of New York things!

I'm happy with how the romantic bits came out. I spent a lot of time scaling up and scaling down those scenes, and I think I ended up striking a good balance for this story. I'm looking forward to hearing from you-know-who about it all! :twilightsmile:

2403712 moping the floors of the Executor or something:scootangel: (its nice to see you everywhere )

Oh god, RariJack by Ponydora Prancypants. It's all I never knew I wanted out of FIMfic. :raritystarry: :ajsmug: Completely beautiful.

Minor trouble: if you set this after Magical Mystery Cure, by rights it's also after Apple Family Reunion, which Aunt and Uncle Orange attended.

2407924

I know, but I'm assuming either that AFR is set after MMC, or that final scene was a hallucination, given that they don't appear earlier in the episode. :ajsmug:

That took me two days to read, but it was absolutely worth it!
I can't think of a single complaint. The romance was great, and the story was a great mix of comedy of sad.
I loved The Fires of Friendship, and I love this story even more.
What a wonderful story.
Like!

This was FANTASTIC! An amazing story, with sweet moments all throughout. Nevermind your building off your other wonderful story, "The Fires of Friendship". You see how, despite their differences, they can work. Loved it, and added it to the Properly Organized Rarijack Group. So now you've got a story in Friendshipping and Romantic. Good work. Please add more. :D

God this story was amazing, I never thought we'd see an actual shipping story from you Ponydora, let alone Rarijack but it has to be the best thing ever! (THE best possible thing! :raritystarry:) Like some people brought up you can say it had some flaws with pacing, but the descriptions were beautiful, the characterization with both Rarity and AJ was spot on and those were some of the best romance scenes I think I've ever read, anywhere. Just beautiful in every way, you do this pair great justice and really know how to sell it and make it work. Please never stop writing, and if you ever consider writing more Rarijack I'll be the first to say YES PLEASE!

This has to be in my top five all time favorite shipping fics, beating out even Swayback Mountain for my personal favorite Rarijack fic. If you EVER make a sequel, I will support you. I am new to your stories, but I think that you do an amazing job with the whole shipping thing. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy every second of it, honestly. Anyway, PLEASE keep up the with phenomenal writing.

~Faust Fan Five

2412911

Well, more like he saw what I did, and then you saw what he did! :twilightsheepish:

2400822
I hate how you get so many downvotes on that comment for expressing your opinion.

2413133

I forgot to ask yesterday, did you ever consider making this into a multichapter story instead of just a oneshot? It works the way it is of course, but I think it would have worked just as well, and maybe even better as a chapter story. I'm just curious.

2413282

I think it's because it was kind of rude. Constructive criticism is one thing but making a negative comment just for the sake of it isn't cool, especially on a story like this when Ponydora said it was done as a gift. People can always just use the back button if they don't like something, it's not like they have to be snarky.

2413282>>2414358
Funny thing, it was supposed to be a joke. I commented on it right after Ponydoras reply.
Sometimes if one makes an obscure Simpson joke, it will pass people right by at the speed of a unladen swallow.

None other then myself to blame.

The last part about not upvoting nor downvoting was about the only serious statement since I never have been a fan of F/F (or M/M) pairings. And no, not because I am a bigot.

The simple fact is that I am not able to relate to having romantic feelings for the same gender. Thus such stories bears no emotional impact/interest with me.

Ipso facto, I did not vote one way or the other.

2414358

I didn't consider doing this as a multi-chapter story, because the goal was to have a finished story ready to post on my friend's birthday. :twilightsmile:

The Oranges have been on that goldurned island since the first settler ponies arrived...

This is probably way out of left field, but I read this as an allusion to the Dutch settlement of New Amsterdam. :ajsmug:

Damn, I hate finding stories that set new bar for story telling in some way. Makes me want to give up on my crappy little RariPie story.

Anyway, fantastic job with this story, the romantic aspects of it were very strong and your descriptions make me want to give up writing. The only thing that I can think that comes off as a bit odd is that it ends too successfully. It ends up so happy that I would Rarity to be spontaneously made an alicorn by the sheer amount of praise, but then again it is a bday gift so whatever, plus I do enjoy seeing Rarity succeed. She is, after all, best pony.

2415360

No, it's exactly correct. In fact, orange is the color of the Dutch royal family, since the time of William of Orange. When the Dutch first settled Manhattan in the seventeenth century, they called their settlement New Orange. I believe the Oranges in Manehattan on the show are themselves a reference to the Dutch history of real-world New York. :ajsmug:

2415374

I'm so glad you liked the story, but I certainly hope that nothing I do ever discourages anyone from writing! Please, write! As for the ending, yes, it is purposefully over-the-top because this was a gift to celebrate my friend's birthday, and she is a tremendous fan of Rarity and Applejack. Think of it as a Bollywood movie, where everyone dances at the end. :twilightsmile:

2411041>>2409511>>2408350

I just wanted to pop in and thank you all for your incredibly kind words about this story. I'm very grateful for your support, and hope to continue to write entertaining, fun fanfiction for folks like you. Much appreciated! :raritystarry:

2415392

Ha, what an apt comparison.
Well, I have to at least finish the story I'm currently working on before I think about impaling myself on a keyboard for dishonoring it.

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