• Member Since 7th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 13th, 2017

Casper B. Wordsmith


T
Source

Upon her return from Dodge Junction, something has changed inside Applejack. Her feelings for a certain pony have become as solid as the diamonds that adorn said pony's flank. However, will Ponyville's own Southern belle ever pluck up the courage to be the mare that wins Rarity's heart?

A/N - My very first attempt at fan-fiction of any description and very much a work-in-progress. All ratings, comments and the like (positive or otherwise) are very much welcomed.

Chapters (15)
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Comments ( 378 )

So far, so good. Let me be the first to say MORE PLEASE!

I love it. Wonderful work so far, author. :raritystarry:

You have my attention.

Bonus points since you're a weegie lad.

Rarijack....

Rare, but worth the weight.
:gaben:


Cheers
~iraqlobstah

202373
Too rare for my liking as well. :raritydespair:

202362
Why thank you - Flight of the Alicorn is a hell of a story so I'm glad to have your attention. :twilightsheepish:
And I must say that that's likely the first and last time I'll receive bonus points for being a Weegie... :yay:

204285
You've certainly taken a shine to my humble little story. Thanks for the kind words.

Unfortunately you shall have to wait (no more than a day, but a wait nonetheless). :rainbowwild:

Not bad... oh what what am I saying.... IT WAS G-G-GREAT!! :rainbowdetermined2: i would like to see where this goes... and good luck, fellow writer in arms...(Salute) :twilightsmile:

This is really good. I love the other pairings you got going on like FlutterMac and Spilight. RariJack is one of my favorites. Definitely tracking this.

205369 Fluttermac you say? I guess I have to read this now. Not a fan of certain pairings here but I'll try anything once :rainbowwild:

Good to see more of this unconventional pairing, shows the community is evolving. You have my interest, but do be sure to space a bit less if you're not doing it to intentionally speed reading and break flow a bit.

Gotta say I'm enjoying this. :pinkiesmile: Will track and see what happens next.

Intrigued, but not quite convinced. I'll track.

205203
Motion carried. Like I said, you'll have to wait a little while. Given the number of views I seem to be acquiring I may try and get it up earlier than I anticipated.
205348
You shall see where it goes in good time. Godspeed to yourself too. *returns salute*
205369
RariJack is my undoubted favourite for some reason. Glad you seem to enjoy the more 'comic relief' pairings too. :twilightsmile:
205418
Might just be a result of my writing style. Shall keep it in mind in any case.

Yes, I must add to the general tone of approval and commend both the story and your writing style.

204399
I'm a fan of Rari-Jack. In fact my own story will eventually, after a LOT of teasing by the main character of BOTH parties, have a Rari-Jack instance in it. :D

I am very interested.
Never Read a rarjack before.

But I think I'm gonna like this.

Oh look 5 stars, what shall i do with them?

HMMM, why do i never see rarity in shipping fics? maybe she's too flirty to ship succesfully :raritycry:

Manechester....gah...its as bad as Flankfurt...ugh...and i used that one in my own story...Also, I love the idea of alcoholic beverages being just a recharge for our favorite crazy wazy party pony. It just makes sense. And yes, drunk Twilight truly is an amusing site to behold.


A great story, looking forward to more.

I like this so far looking forward to the next peice:derpyderp1:

I think your writing is at its strongest when you're telling the story through AJ and her thoughts and impressions of the scene around her. Chapter 2 was slightly weaker than Chapter 1 because it was mainly a recitation by the narrator of things happening in the bar, but it improved exponentially as the focus shifted back to Applejack.

This is a very creative and fun story. I love it, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. It seems like you have a bona fide (pony-fide?) hit on your hooves here, and I wish you lots of success. I hope to see this on Equestria Daily soon.

:raritywink:

202736 what he said good sir/madam this is an interesting one not very often seen ship. but an enjoyabul ship indeed.

206213
You might well love Chapter Three in that case. I'm saying no more. :raritywink:

I wouldn't go so far as to say it was of the quality worthy of EqD though. :twilightblush:

206376 good work my man good work indeed

Love it, nothing more I can say.

We can has more? And I thought Bon Bon and Lyra left for more private accommodations?

Awww. Nice chapter, with a wonderful progression.

this is moving along very nicely

Excellent. I can't wait for more!

Saw the words "purple haze" in the fic, got the song stuck in my head.

207160
Nah - only the Doctor left. Vinyl, Tavia, Lyra and Bon Bon all went to the party. Besides, if the other ponies knew what's good for 'em then they'd give them their privacy... :ajsmug:
207205 & 207220
Glad the pacing isn't an issue. Trying to make it more of a slow-burner of a fic if you know what I mean.

Thanks to everypony for all the kind words/tracks/favourites/views. I never expected such an overwhelmingly positive response. :twilightsheepish:

Hmmm, smouldering along nicely. :pinkiehappy:

207334
A Hendrix earworm is always a pleasure.
207682
I totally imagined that as a CSI: Miami quip. No bad thing at all. :rainbowlaugh:

205676
You shall be seeing much more of her very soon. :raritywink:
205812
Flankfurt - I quite like that. EqD published a list of ponified place names if I remember correctly. Might utilise it more in the future.

Love it, can not wait for the next update. :twilightsmile:

Your story is quite entertaining. And a fresh breath from the usual story arc that these shipping tales take.

Interesting to see Rarity's point of view. Looks like things are about to heat up in the next chapter though. :raritywink:

Ah, liquid courage. The blessing and bane of partygoers everywhere.

Excellent, well-written. I like the character of High Spirits a lot :twilightsmile:

"Outwith an incident where her wandering hands"

Other than that little slip, this was another golden chapter, and I'm waiting for the next with antici...pation. :rainbowdetermined2:

Okay, reached chapter four, which means two things:
1) What?! No new chapter? NOOOOOO~
2) I will now share my thoughts. (Good or bad, that's for you to decide)

Regarding the two 'main' members of the story, I can't really say that they're my favorite characterizations. Applejack's I can roll with a bit easier than Rarity's though... come to think of it, you actually did AJ pretty well... Never mind, your Rarity comes off as a bit... eccentric. Does that seem vague? It probably does, the problem is that that there isn't really much out there that I can actually base her off of (seeing as Rarity centered fics are rare in general), so you're really at no fault here. Just my personal preference getting in the way. What did we learn here? Personality wise, so far so good, if not a tad bit heavy on the wild Rarity. (You do have comedic bits thrown in with her as well, which is probably one of the reasons she strikes me as odd here)

Now, something I can talk about easier, your writing. As in, those rather large walls of text you have going on. Don't get me wrong, walls of text are awesome, but about halfway through chapter three I couldn't help but start to feel bogged down by it all. This especially came in to play during this chapter, I couldn't help but feel a little smothered by all the description you had going on in some areas. This is my opinion, but you may want to watch for unnecessary words, such as some adjectives and adverbs. Now, that could just be how you write, which is perfectly fine, this is all just me.

Lastly, real quick, your transitions confused me here. It took me a while to figure out Rarity flash-backed to the sleep over. Now, I grasped that she was thinking back to it, but I thought her conversation with herself was going on during the present (the party) not the sleepover, so when it mentioned that she looked down at AJ, I grew terribly confused. That may just be me, but you might want to make sure your transitions are more clear, or separate the change of time by some means, be it only an extra enter down of some kid.

Anyway, if you couldn't tell from my ramblings, I am tired. I do apologize for said ramblings, but hey, you can always ignore them if you wish :scootangel:
To clarify slightly - I am intrigued by this story, there isn't enough RariJack in the world, continue doing what you're doing :twilightsheepish:

212024 To be fair, the author telegraphs the scene-change to the sleepover in the last sentence of the previous paragraph.

I'm greatly enjoying this story so far, author - time spent establishing the background to and development of the romantic feelings of the ponies is, I feel, vital to turn a good shipping story into a great one. This is well on the way to being the latter as a result.

211206 & 211256
Big spot there - in my defence I was a little distracted by the football whilst writing. Sorted now. Thanks for pointing it out though. :twilightsmile:

212024
Thanks for taking the time to read through it all and give your thoughts as to the story - very much appreciated. As such I shall take the time to address your qualms.
In regards to your minor gripes about characterisation, I felt that there was a little room to play around with Rarity's background given how (like you said) there are a lot fewer Rarity-centered fics from what I've seen. Hence my exploration as to the 'wild' Rarity and the comedy of that to contrast a little from what we've seen before and what is likely to be planned in the future chapters.
It is indeed how I write which leads to the 'walls of text'. Mainly I feel a little less secure with dialogue (outwith if I'm writing a script as I have done before) and so when it comes to prose I tend to focus on description, setting and the feelings of the characters. Shall keep in mind not to make it too 'purple' as I believe people call it.
I was a little unsure as to how to transition there. Took me a while. It's now edited which should make it clearer and put a little more emphasis on said moment.
Once again thank you for expressing your thoughts on the story - it always helps to know what people who are reading are thinking. :pinkiesmile:

Firstly, I love the idea of Rarity having previously been the pony version of a russian, irishmen, german, scotsmen, and viking when it comes to drinking.

Secondly, I cannot wait for the next update :)

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