Hah!

This was fun! It's been ages since I last read a fun AJ x Rarity fic. So thanks for that! It really sends me back to Swayback Mountain; I had forgotten how fun these two were.

The sentiment that AJ's hat is already perfect for her is very cute, IMO. I really enjoyed that part.

Idly thinking back to Sweet and Elite, I wonder what the Canterlot snoods would say if they realized they were talking to the bearers of the Elements. Ah well, I've rambled enough.

Thanks!

308964
No, thank you!
"Fun" is what I go for, the vast majority of the time. If it's not fun to read, then I don't really think it has any place calling itself FiM fan fiction - a lighthearted attitude is important, I think, even in something as absurd as making horses have sex.

*First impressions*

Angry sex?

ANGRY SEX

Cheers
~iraqlobstah

309406
Fair points, though personally I disagree that "ya'll're" is /too/ ugly and I'd probably still have used it anyway. I did notice near the end just how often I'd typed "ya'll", though, it was... yeah, that should have been edited.

With the narrative, that was... somewhat intentional? Applejack's feelings were purposefully pretty simple, though I should have stressed it harder if you didn't notice - my fault, sorry.

I think you're right in the major criticism that it just fell apart at the end, I'll try and do better.

My reactions through story:





> no proper violent sex despite tons of suggestions at that:

Awesome story, however if you start suggesting some more violent sex, carry on writing it. Or else I go angry and all
The end was slightly weird and could've been of course better, however I liked the 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' type mentality there. You have some talent though, that much is for certain

309745
yeah, sorry about that. I guess what I was going for was lampshading every other part of their interaction, where they're never more than a bad sentence away from being at each other's throats but they'd never actually follow through on it, and they're always still friends. But I'm too much of a hack to pull that off properly, so, sorry.

309941
Maybe I'm biased because I actually say things as horrific as ya'll'll in real life, then. And yeah, that last one is a legit error, I have no excuse.

310069
Oh, my approach to language drives many people mad. I try to take the moral high ground - language evolves, linguistics is the study of how it is and has been, not something to chart its future, but even given that I intentionally go far too far. There's no excuse for having "that shit's my jam" in your vocabulary in 2012. None at all.

I'm tracking this so that I may return to it later and read it. I will give you my verdict once I have read it.

310419
It's like "ya'll", with another "'ll". Just repeat the "'ll" sound again.

TAW! Man, do I need to read all of your stuff!

So I guess I'll get started with this one! I'll comment for realsies once I've read it.

Why does that last line feel like a cliffhanger?! Augh. The ending doesn't hold up for me, not the way you wrote the characters. There just isn't anyway she(Rarity) could give up on it.
Anyways, I really liked the story.

This is a very cute story. I think the reason I love RariJack so much is the contrast between the two, and this portrayed it perfectly. Well done.

Aww :) I expect this is exactly how those two would work out together. Though I'm surprised Rarity didn't toss AJ into a bathtub... then join her

Awesomesauce

310952
No, no, they'll give it a try. They were just arguing. What I was going for was, "What happens in Canterlot stays in Canterlot, but all that really happened was arguing - they fell in love elsewhere, and that stays". Probably screwed it up. Sorry.

311233
Me too, man. I was getting kinda sick of it by the end, but there's plenty of room for a longer morning after scene. Filled with delicious bubble bath sex and angry cleaning. "Is that dirt on your hoof? You TOUCHED me with this! Oh, Applejack, how could you?!"

Long shall be your suffering. Joyous be your Pain!!!!!!

++++Words to Heed+++++

"Let the Sins of the Flesh Be there Weakness, Let there Mind Wonder of Pure Desires! May the Ecstasy be there Calling, For they are Mortals who Crave the Sweetness of Deviation of which to Sate there Hunger. Born of Wanting and of Longing For the Touch that can be Sated Through Pain and Pleasure For which I Provide in its Rawest Form."

+++++Slaanesh Chaos God of Lust, Excess, Pleasure, Perfection and Hedonism-

Got to say you definitely outdone yourself with the more intimate scene which where both imaginative and overall compelling between this lovely mares for sure along with how you describe it that brought a bit of eroticism, sexiness, hotness and overall Naughtiness which shows both Applejack and rarity can be many things than just what the Cartoon shows them to be.

The part where Rarity silencing anymore words from her willing companion would have been so awesome or rather endearingly more emotional if this Art had been add on to it:
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/035/0/d/rarity_x_applejack_wip_by_opera_romance-d4olezz.jpg But then again it would have nevertheless in ways of how you written it.

++++++

i.neoseeker.com/mgv/60953-Shadow%20of%20Death/953/49/72960_god_empress_of_ponykind_artist_equestriaprevails_god_emperor_god_empress_lauren_faust_lauren_faust_is_best_pony_meta_oc_warhammer_40k_display.png

"Love the Empress

for She is the salvation of Pony-kind

Obey Her words

for She will lead you into the light of the future,

Heed her wisdom

for She will protect you from Evil

Whisper her prayers with devotion,

for they will save your Soul

Honour Her servants,

for they speak in Her voice

Tremble before Her majesty,

for we all walk in Her immortal shadow."

MY PAINUS APPROVES!

All in all, this was a blast to read! I only wish that there could be another chapter...This was time well spent.

312255
I'm... going to blame my spellcheck on this, I just took its word on it. Thanks.

309960 Texas? (lived there for 3 years)

312298
England - about as far away as you can get!

Doesn't really feel like an ending, to be honest. Maybe that's just me wanting to see more RarityxAJ, though.

I have one complaint.
That Rarity is being described as "weak".
Remember Tom? Rarity is many things, but weak she is not.

Well in all honesty, this one turned out differently than those before it. Kinda miss your one shot formats but this one is a good start. Chapters 1 and 2 grant flow towards chapter 3, but when it reached chapter 3. Well it lacked something, but still gave it a thumbs up because of you being TAW.
Other than that, some typos and some transition fragments within the chapters but as I said its solid and its good!

img.ponibooru.org/_images/ff9ce23a9e6998db94b03f139a30b40c/70433%20-%20face%20humanization%20Not_bad%20obama%20pinkie_pie%20rage%20reaction_face%20reaction_to_op.png

Although... I kind of felt the change of pace in between chapter 2 and 3. I know that that's your concept, TAW, but this had so much (more) potential

TAW, you wonderful bastard, you've done it again!
A clopfic that's not only brilliantly well wrtten, but also a sheer enjoyment to read!
Also, this, to me, seems to be SCREAMING out for a follow-up!

Bravo, sir Well done.

Bob Sagget!

313944
It's "Complete" in the sense that I feel fairly happy leaving the story there and don't think it needs anything more - certainly not in the sense that I'm done with the two. I like Rarijack, I'm sure I'll get back to them at some point.

I found the one major flaw!

This is but one pairing, using 2 out of 6....... Know what I mean?

5+4+3+2+1 (well i think we got the 1 ) so that leaves 14.

But that's the only real flaw I could find.

Eagerly awaiting more.

Apparently weird ships are my favorite.
I love + , + and + .

Nice one. I approve.

Holy SHIT! I mean need I say more?!

This was a great story! Just... work on punctuation, okay? You missed a LOT of commas, mate. Always do better, okay? Thumbs up!

Edit: Alright, it was only like, one period that you truly missed. The rest were all commas.

Just one thing... YURI, excelent YURI

351207
I did? Where?

352665
Well... here's the first few punctuation errors I see while skimming. If I were to come it, I'd find a lot more, I should dare to say.

How it is: "I'll stop if you come" Rarity replied with a restrained smile.

How it should be: "I'll stop if you come," Rarity replied with a restrained smile.

How it is: "Thank you, darling" she said

How it should be: "Thank you, darling," she said

How it is: I shan't be long" she called

How it should be: I shan't be long," she called

Basically, you missed almost every punctuation mark in these types of sentences. You need that comma, or, you can make it a period and not use "she said/called/etc." for every speaking line. You don't over do it, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that this is the only mistake I've seen in the story. Punctuation. And Celestia knows I'm no saint when it comes to grammar, so... Just a bit of friendly advice, this is.

353041
Hm, they were intentional, but if it comes across as grammatically incorrect then I suppose my intentions were wrong.
Thanks.

353183 Eh, it's okay. Like I said, I do the same thing.

Like!

308996

I really enjoy your stories for that reason. I can't help but smile and laugh quietly every now and then as I read, and with romance mixed in it's just so amazing to read. Though if I may point one thing out "ya'll" is actually spelled "y'all".

I enjoyed this, though I'll firstly say I did skip to them waking up the instant the word 'engorged' appeared. Suppose I'm just a fan of tasteful fade-to-blacks.

Quite liked the little blurbs of thought for both characters, and the incident with the hat was touchingly unexpected and cute. Whatever was lacking in "a heart of gold," that I ambled to point out, it wasn't here. that's good.

Characterization seemed solid, even if Rarity was a little more flanderized than is good for her. Still, it worked, and i was entertained. Other people mentioned the ending, so I'll say it breifly - it didn't quite convey what you wanted it to, and lacked a bit of resolution, but does manage. Would this be an instance of a smack-smack kiss-kiss relationship? I dunno.

Well, you asked to be told where you fucked up. Too bad, you did alright, for the most part. For that indiscreet little part near the end ... for what I saw of it (all 5 seconds or so) ...
um. Yeah. You fucked up their fucking up. I'd go back and copy-paste the worst offending sentences, except, ya know, I won't.
Engorged: Whatever way you look at this, its not a sexy word, tis not a sexual word. If your trying to provoke reactions of the sort in the reader (maybe one day, TAW, you'll warp me,. but until then my brain still considers these PG romances with a splash of R comedy on the side.) Engorged is not a word to use. It appears in biology textbooks with technical diagrams and words like "copulation."
Is copulation what you want? (wait, don't answer.)

Since the reader's brain is predisposed to imagine sex, don't Tell them what's there, let them create their own images from a lattice work of metaphor, suggestion, and waggling eyebrows, if you know what I mean. Innocence and Innuendo are only a few letters apart in the language, for good reason.

Have to agree with Rarity though, They really need to go out for a nice candlelit dinner.
Oh, and a bath that involves brushing. Just imagine Applejacks mane hanging outside the bathtub while being softly brushed by Rarity. I would imagine AJ enjoying being cleaned far more than being clean.
Rarity did clean AJ a lot in "It's about time".
The last scene could have lead up to a nice bath.

What the hell TAW!? Whenever I read a story that I like, I always thumb-up it, favorite, than go back and look at the author. How can you be that author 90% of the time!?

No, seriously. Whenever I find a story (Randomly, I might add.) which is exactly what I'm looking for, you always happen to be the author.

If anyone looked at my Favorites list, it's like...40% you. And that's a lot.

1102343 I've been running into TAW more and more myself, too..... This can't be a coincidence.

Anyway, good story, TAW! I enjoyed reading it and I can't wait to read the other stories of yours that are still in my read later list.

Okay,this clop scene was extremely,unforgivably hot.
This pairing needs more angry-ish sex.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO; ANGRY SEX!
Dat's what Rarijack is all about And the cuteness. Which you nailed. Great job, darling

Achievement Unlocked!!!!

Rarijack converter

I now have a paring I like..... congratulations, this was Funny, Sweet, and totally worth staying up till 5 in the morning to read.....at least I think this story was read at 5 in the morning..... I can't remember anymore.... but you still earn an achievement...

=……= I feel special.... I'm the 300th like

I love Rarijack hate/love relationship! They work so good together

1611540
Nine years later... The first comic was done by Mad Max, and the second was done by John Joseco unless I am mistaken. Those two were ridiculously funny for a couple years back in the day.