Hi, I'm TAW. I write terrible erotic my little pony fan fiction about cartoon horses having sex with each other, or vaguely defined human audience-inserts, for fun. Because... uh. I have no shame?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Inb4
"Poultron: Ponyfag imma gun dun ban u trolololol"
"TAW: fuckufuckufuckufucku"
Very nice. It was original, and while it smacked of wish fulfillment, it had enough depth in the characters and plot that it will worked. A solid fic.
This story would be much easier to get into if you would introduce your character, It takes 5 paragraphs before you mention that the character isn't a pony and another 6 or so before you call him a 'gentleman'. The only real way for me to work out that it is human is because of you calling them a 'manservant', which is more of a title than a descriptor. Also you never actually tell me directly what they are and whether they are male or female, I just had to assume they were when you called them a "gentleman". I actually originally thought he was an owl because of the nocturnal comment.
Wow! This turned out nicely.
I'm very fond of this characterization of Luna, and following through on it pretty much demanded a slow build-up. Better yet, the clop seemed to be a natural extension of the trust and intimacy that grew between the protagonist and the Princess.
Nice to see you writing something a little longer than your normal fare. Keep up the good work!
372074
He's... "you"! Just your generic audience-insert, designed to be as inoffensive as possible so that most readers can relate. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
373051
Thanks! Pegasisters unite, bro!
You know what? It might a bit much to expect you to always do this for fics from now onwards, but it would be wonderful.
373290
Ha, way too demanding to do this for everything! It's nice to have more of a narrative, but I'm not sure how I could even do that with some of the smuttier ideas. There'll be more like this, though, probably.
Really nice TAW! I think you might be my favorite author on this website. I like the descriptions of emotion you use, and the way the characters speak are something I'd expect them to say in the situations you put them in. It's like you keep adding stories to my list of favorites. I kept saying after each chapter I read that I'd go to bed, but it sucked me in so well I ended up finishing the story ." Flying High, and Getting Hard " what was previously my favorite next to " Fluttering Hearts ", I'd say this one takes the cake. Keep up the good work Brony, so I can keep reading 'em.
Hmm I'm interested thus far
373317
Hey there fella! Just droppin' by to give the ol' "fuck you" from a pal'a mine! Alright, catch ya around, pardner! *rides away on bicycle*
Got a "TAW posted a new story!" email, expected another Twilight waifufic (not that I don't like those!), got an awesome 8 chapter defrosting Luna fic with force-bondage. All at once.
lh4.googleusercontent.com/-I9rZaXIOcvI/T3GkwK1mLkI/AAAAAAAAAOA/2a8ndElb5sA/s800/raiseglass.gif
I think both the extra-narrative fics and the short-but-sweet smutfics have their advantages, but I'm certainly glad you took the time to expand on this one. Luna deserves it!
371419
I lol'd.
img689.imageshack.us/img689/818/okwiththis.png
You've done another good one TAW- Solid through and through. My only real complaint would be that there was no big need to split it into chapters- Sure, there was a flow, but it could have been all one solid piece, and it might have had a more "complete" feel that way. Then again, I feel that way about most fics that are posted in one shot, so it might just be my preference.
373671
You could be right, perhaps I should just keep things in a single chapter. The splitting was mostly to make compartmentalising the timespans easier on my end, so it could have been concatenated at the end easily enough.
372074
You have a good point, but no good story is that rushed and because its second person I would assume that TAW is trying to immerse us readers, which is a lot easier with slightly vague descriptions.
Also really liking the story so far, I always like your work
Yet again, this was a awesome read.
I would like to also say that considering you tend to post your stories in one chapter, I actually found this easier to digest as a reader (no I'm not eating my monitor or printing the stories and eating the resulting paper.) and found the longer build up to be more emotionally involving (more enjoyable.) and for a character such as Luna almost necessary.
(feel free to ignore this next part if TAW fixes it.)
I did also notice a spelling/grammar error in chapter six, when Shadow is talking to the main character in the donut shop about Luna smiling, you added the word Very to the sentence Smiling. I ain't seen that since she very first got here. Considering the conversation with shadow had progressed it didn't seem like he had a southern accent and hence it broke immersion for me for a couple of minutes.
I'm not going to say I'm a grammar Nazi (I guarantee you there are few screw ups in the post, but this is something I noticed.)
You continue to amaze me, although i do like your other stuff this was an order of magnitude better then the rest
I myself prefer the more vague descriptions, it lets the character evolve in your mind, so that you can relate to him more closely. Maybe you could have said "due to your human physiology" instead of "due to your unique physiology", or something like that, to confirm your status as a human a bit earlier, but it really is only an option. Everything seems to evolve at a very natural pace thus far.
"Hitting the button, the light sprung into life, illuminating the room."
That is what I call vivid writing. Loving it...
It's a rare gift to be able to paint with words, and you my friend, have that gift.
This is just, wow. Best under 50 000 word fic I've ever read, both clop and non clop...
......Infamous last words for your hearing.
Who needs plans?! Screw plans!
I did like this story but it seemed like the chapters were rather short but chapter length usually does not effect my opinion of a story so I enjoyed reading it
thumbs up!
...that is all
Tracking, thumbed up and favourited, going to be reading this soon.
when i find a serious mistake i'll let you know, but this isn't making it easy for me.
all of the you this and you that feels a bit awkward, but the stories quality and flow are still there. so that's really more of an opinion than criticism.
I like how he's dodging around the canon storyline without actually being a part of it. but the relationship with luna seemed to come a little quick to me. still enjoying myself though ^_^
Kinda wished youd give the human actual dialog rather than LOZ Link style dialog.
Liking it so far.
373051 THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!
Luna does need some luvin. Hopefully Hasbro will give her some more lovin.
373295 hey TAW try doing either A.another twilight B.a flutershy story C.a rainbow dash D.Celestia or E.more stories like this one. also more luna
377585 Have you not played Skyrim? Glass armor is made from malachite.
I wanted to say "WTF DID I JUST READ"
But this is written way too good for that. Even for the clop part.
So instead you get 5 mustache'd Spike
This story must be properly tagged: OC, Human. I just lost my time, reading first chapter in hope this about Luna only, or with some OC pony.
Ewww, humans in Equestria... Not my cup of tea.
What is this fandom's fascination with 2nd person? They are usually so painful to read .
That said I have enjoyed a couple of your stories TAW so I'll give this one a shot.
378176
Well, if your time is so valuable you're willing to fill it with erotic my little pony fan fiction, than truly I apologise for merely mentioning it in the short description. It's a shame, too, that the "you" in the first paragraph didn't tip you off that it might be second person. I can only apologise.
378206
It's straight up wish-fulfilment. There's not really much more to it - it's not big, it's not clever, but there it is.
378213
75% of HiE Fics are that way, I understand. Hell I can appreciate some of them, but why does it have to be second person? So hard to read >_<. I almost prefer 1st person Mary Sue's. It's just so much easier to view it as someone else than as 'myself'. Just me ranting about personal preference.
Again, I've enjoyed some of your works so I look forward to this
378228
It's the audience-insert factor. 2nd person has the requirement that the protagonist must be inoffensive enough for almost any reader to relate, first person doesn't have that restriction. I think 1st person can tell a better story, but... we're not really here for the story, are we? ;)
but yeah, absolutely, it can be very jarring, it's pretty amateur stuff
378233
Heh you're right of course. I've just never been able to insert myself into most stories. Even more...cloppy stories all I can do is imagine someone else as the main character even if it is 2nd person.
Also you'd be surprised where you can find good writing; Celestia knows that most HiE fics are usually stereotypically bad but most of my absolute favorites have been HiE's. I'm always here for the story, even if it involves someponies getting lucky .
I like how you included the mystery regarding the species of the narrative voice, this seems interesting and iI'll track...
But aren't the pony beds the same as ours? Maybe smaller but no obvious differences? Hmm never mind you're entitled to artistic license.
im the princ;ess of the night
s
o of course they run in frighte they feel threatened and unsure
so lets highten your allore
i dont think you unbderatndf
i thring gharkenss to haterio lgjbnmo
fffgbvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
379342
Thanks for the kind words, fellow pegasister!
379351
I
M the nice jstory on the job nice one
I demand a sequel
379351
you broke the rules!
you can't use bro unless you are of the male persuasion.
because sometimes we feel confused in regards of our gender.
(c wut i did thar)
379497
Can I say brosephine?
379528
No!
perhaps.
379542
Excellent!
I don't know if I should hate you right now. I guess I should hate you for writing something so closely parallel to my own fanfics-- in which a lowly stallion that's a post sex-change Twist (basically) falls in love with Nightmare Moon, wins her over to the light side, marries her, has hawt sex with her, has kids with her, and lives in bliss afterwards-- since you're doing the same kind of thing but, dammit, I think you're writing this topic better than I've done it.
It's like you're the Beatles and I'm just the Hollies. Or you're Oasis and I'm just Blur. Or you're Duran Duran and I'm just the Human League. Or you're Mitch Hedberg and I'm just Mike Birbiglia. You do what I do and you do it better! Argh! Jealousy!
Oh, well. I must say instead and I love you right now. And I love your story. *hugs*