First Performance
Chapter 25: First Performance
“Storm Blitz!” The door to his room slammed open and Storm was confronted by his fuming father, pointing at the front page of a newspaper that had been delivered just outside of Storm’s room. “Unexplainable Asstronomical Phenomenon” the headline read, with a full color photo of the full moon the night before. “Did you have anything to do with this?” Storm looked at Rainbow Dash before both descended into snickers, shaking their heads and ignoring Quakehoof’s obvious displeasure.
“No, dad, that wasn’t us. That was entirely of Princess Luna’s design, we had nothing to do with that one.”
“What do you mean by ‘that one,’ son?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Don’t drink the coffee.”
“What do you...”
“Just don’t. Don’t drink the coffee, trust me,” Storm said, again laughing quietly as his father again examined the newspaper. Flying Grace made her way over and looked in.
“My, it seems you had quite a bit of fun with Luna last night, quite a bit more than our little performance, right dear?” Quakehoof remembered the event and abruptly ended his son’s mirth with roars of his own, Storm soon blushing and desperately trying to push the frightful event from his mind.
“Her wings really were soft, though.” Rainbow Dash whispered to Storm, who shot her a grin.
“Oh, I know. She could make a pegasus really happy, that one,” he replied, matching her tone.
“Easy, Storm, don’t make me hurt you,” she growled, kissing his cheek and pulling away to stretch. “So, when is the wedding, you two?”
“Oh, but shouldn’t we be asking you the same question, Dash?” She watched the mare blush a bit before answering. “As soon as possible, actually. We’ve only been waiting for over twenty years, so to say we’re eager is an understatement. We will speak with Mayor Mare immediately upon arrival and send out the invitations. Come, we have been invited to breakfast. Please behave yourselves, all right?” Storm and Rainbow Dash nodded, following them out and noting that Scootaloo was making a point of keeping her distance, likely still traumatized over her perception of the previous night’s activities. They walked in just in time to see Celestia take a deep swig of coffee before sputtering violently and downing a pitcher of water in a most unrefined manner.
“Son, you’re playing with fire,” Quakehoof muttered as they watched the display, while a calm Luna waved to them, a knowing smile gracing her muzzle as she set down her tea. Celestia quickly excused herself and left with tears streaming from her eyes, as did approximately two thirds of the ponies in the room, finding themselves in much the same condition.
“Rainbow Dash, I must thank you for introducing me to this form of fun; it is quite entertaining.”
“Heh, no problem, your Highness.” She paused and looked around at the mostly empty room, most of the remaining guests staring around the table and too fearful to touch the food for fear of what might occur. “Though I think it would be best if you wait a little while before your next round of pranks. Ponies tend to get angry if they are frequent or over used.”
“Tis sound advice. Thank you, Rainbow Dash. I shall be careful. Now come, eat! But be wary of the coffee, it is quite potent this morning.” They bantered easily amongst themselves for a good hour, Celestia joining them ten minutes in and whispering something in Luna’s ear to which she gave an apologetic nod before they resumed in peace.
True to their word, Quakehoof and Flying Grace made straight for town hall as soon as they stepped off the train. Rainbow Dash knew her friends would be wondering how it went, but Spitfire’s urging to continue her training prompted her and Storm to pass the afternoon practicing. As evening fell they deposited their gear at home and made for Grace’s house, where the smell of a fresh meal assailed them before they even opened the door.
“So, how did things go, dad?” Storm asked as they squeezed in around the much too small table.
“Quite well, the wedding is planned to take place in a week,” he replied as he set into his meal.
“That’s awesome, I’m really happy for you two,” Rainbow Dash quipped, smiling as the two doted on each other. “You should really invest in a bigger table, though,” she said as she accidentally kicked somepony for the third time.
“We’ve already spoken to the mayor about that, and using some of my inheritance from Proud, we should have a new house built in town by the time the wedding takes place. A proper table will come shortly after, I assure you.”
“You may want to invest in some soundproof walls, for Scootaloo’s sake,” Storm said with a grin, and Quakehoof let out a low rumble of a chuckle as he nodded.
“Indeed, a wise observation, son.”
“Scootaloo, you’ve been awfully quiet. Are you still moping about what you saw the other night? Because that was just...”
“Horrifying! Disgusting! Sickening! How could you do that with the Princess when you have Rainbow Dash? That’s just... ugh!” she groaned, shoving her plate away.
“Hey, chill out, Scootaloo, it was my idea,” Rainbow Dash said, attempting to preserve Storm’s honor at the sake of her own. “I know it probably looked bad, but trust me, nothing happened. I wouldn’t let Storm be with anypony else for anything.” The filly reached forward and began eating in silence. If Rainbow Dash said it was fine, then she’d have to believe it. Storm grabbed Lightning Wing’s training manual before heading back home with Rainbow Dash, and they were cuddled up on the couch flipping through it when a knock sounded at the door. Storm rose and took a step back as he found Soarin and Spitfire on his doorstep, and he quickly welcomed them inside.
“Hey you two, what’re you doing here? I thought you had a show.”
“That was a few days ago, and it was quite a show, I assure you,” Spitfire replied with a malicious grin. Storm and Rainbow Dash listened as she went on to explain their declaration, the ensuing riot, their night in jail and subsequent trip to see the princess upon being released. “After talking to the Princess, she informed us that there are no more barriers between you and us. Rainbow Dash, Storm Blitz, as of this moment you are both officially Wonderbolts.” Unable to contain herself, Dash shot out the door and into the sky, twirling and spinning to her hearts content as the other three watched.
“Is she always like that?” Soarin muttered as he saw his own enthusiasm mirrored, reminding him of how excited he was when he was inducted into the Wonderbolts.
“Most always, yeah. Especially when it comes to the Wonderbolts, or flight in general,” Storm replied as he gazed affectionately at the rainbow streaking through the sky. “It’s been her lifelong dream, so I want to thank you two personally for making it a reality.”
“Heh, don’t thank us, Storm. You’re the one who pulled her back from the brink and gave us a shot at such a valuable member. We’re the ones who should be thanking you. Hope you don’t mind living in her shadow, though.” Spitfire stopped to laugh a little. “Something tells me she’s going to hog the spotlight for a good many years.” She regarded Rainbow Dash with confusion as she suddenly slowed to a stop before making her way over and landing in front of the three pegasi.
“Spitfire, how long am I going to be gone? I’ve never left Cloudsdale for any great period of time, and just thinking about it makes my worry about my friends...”
“Rainbow Dash, we don’t perform every day, and most places aren’t terribly far away. You’ll likely be gone for, at most, a week per show, and we normally have a show every month or so. You’ll have plenty of time to train and have fun. Normally, one of our official trainers would oversee you, but I think your current trainer knows how to handle you pretty well.” She immediately perked up at this, and threw herself in Storm’s hooves as they shared a deep kiss.
“Hey Spitfire? Can we...”
“Get pie? All right, fine, I’ll wrap this up,” she said with as sigh. “Rainbow Dash, Storm, I need you two to come with us to get fitted for a uniform. Also, you’ll be gone for much longer this time around, since we have to teach you our routines,” she declared, noting the look of dejection on their faces. “What’s wrong, you two? It’s only a month.”
“My parents are getting married in a week, and I can’t miss it. I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t miss it for anything,” Storm replied sadly, having been quite excited for the offer but unwilling to be absent for such an important event for his mother and father.
“I’m sorry, Spitfire, but I’m with Storm on this one.”
“Wow, you make it sound like we’re gonna kick you out for that.” They both shared a quizzical look before turning back to Soarin and Spitfire.
“You’re not?”
“We didn’t go to jail for you just to ditch you because you have a previous arrangement. How about this: come now and we’ll get as much down as possible, then make it back and perform for the wedding. It would be the perfect occasion for your first performance, so do we have a deal?”
“What are we standing around for? Let’s get going!” Rainbow Dash cried, grabbing Storm by the hoof and taking wing. “We’re gonna go say goodbye to our family quick, then we’ll meet you at the station, all right?”
“Sounds good, but don’t take too long. I don’t like being late, and we have to catch the last train out of here. They nodded their agreement before taking off, landing outside the apartment and entering quietly. Scootaloo looked up with surprise as her brother scooped her into a massive embrace, and she felt him shaking as he cried softly.
“Storm, what’s wrong?” she asked fearfully, her normally annoying brother acting strangely affectionate.
“Son, is everything all right?”
“Mom, Dad, Soarin and Spitfire just stopped by. They accepted us into the Wonderbolts.”
“Storm, that’s wonderful news!” She noticed the look in his eyes as he glanced over at her, and she suddenly understood. “But, that means you’re leaving, doesn’t it.”
“No, you’re not allowed to go! I still need more lessons!” Scootaloo said, starting to cry as well.
“I’m only going to be gone for a week at first. They’re gonna let me come back for the wedding, but then I will probably be gone for another month or so. But I’m gonna come back, Scootaloo. And I won’t stop giving you lessons until you can fly just like Rainbow Dash, but you have to be strong until I get back, ok?” She tried to calm herself and nodded as Grace and Quakehoof wrapped them both in their hooves. Grace noticed Rainbow Dash standing to the side, her head turned away in an attempt to hide her own tears.
“Rainbow Dash, come. We’d like some time with our daughter before she leaves too.” Rainbow Dash cantered over and let herself take shelter under Grace’s wings, feeling a different kind of love that she hadn’t experienced before and smiling through the bittersweet, looking forward to a future free of tears.
When they managed to extract themselves they made straight for the station, making it aboard just in time. Soarin and Spitfire both noticed their significantly subdued moods, remembering their own similar experiences.
“If it helps at all, Soarin wept like a foal when he had to leave.” Soarin looked up indignantly from his pie, the gooey insides that smeared his face making his scowl one of the biggest failures in intimidation that Storm and Rainbow Dash had ever seen, and they couldn’t help but laugh as Ponyville faded into the distance.
Spitfire was truly impressed. While they weren’t perfect, Rainbow Dash and Storm had managed to master a good number of their maneuvers in four days time, shortening their likely training period to as few as two weeks. Now, a week since they left, they again found themselves in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash was nervous, as expected, and she left with Storm under the guise of “relieving the pre-show jitters” much to Spitfire and Soarin’s amusement.
“That mare really is amazing,” Soarin murmured as he watched her go.
“Careful, Soarin. I don’t think Storm is the type to share. Besides,” she said with a chuckle, “you already have a fillyfriend, am I right?” He took the hint and gave her a fond embrace.
“You’re right, as usual. Still, are you feeling nervous?”
“Nah, I’m good,” she replied, grinning as he gave a disappointed sigh. “Still, there’s some tension in my wings, perhaps you could help me with that?” Soarin trotted over and locked the door before returning to his mare to begin her treatment.
Storm and Rainbow Dash met up with the other Wonderbolts ten minutes before the ceremonies started and took their seats on the left side of the front row. Off to the right the rest of her friends sat, and Pinkie gave them an enthusiastic wave as they sat. It wasn’t long before the ceremony started, and Flying Grace walked out in a stunning dress that was crafted by Rarity to hide her pregnancy as much as possible. Storm had to admit, it was likely unnoticeable to anypony who didn’t know she was with foal. Quakehoof followed shortly after in the suit Rarity had crafted for him before, and their joy spilled forth onto everypony present. Storm joined his parents in shedding tears as they exchanged vows, and he watched with pride as the two ponies were finally bound together with nothing left between them. A nod from Spitfire and he cleared his eyes, leaving with the other Wonderbolts as Princess Celestia made their introduction.
“In celebration of this occasion, we now give you the Wonderbolts. Let us welcome their two newest members, Cloudsdale’s Rainbow Dash and this couple’s own son, Storm Blitz.” Everypony stomped their hooves and cheered as they started their routine, flying in formation with the two newest members taking the ends. Rainbow Dash and Storm didn’t miss a beat, breaking and performing their assigned stunts with ease before meeting up again at the proper times. A nod from Spitfire alerted Storm and Rainbow Dash that it was their turn to shine, and working together they whipped up a colossal maelstrom. Many of the ponies began to murmur about the danger before their worries turned to an all consuming exhilaration as Rainbow Dash drenched the area in seven hued light, the shifting hues of the lighting bolts forking out in all direction and causing the very air around to dance in the light of the sun. The shouts of her friends rose above the roar of the crowd, and it was them that Rainbow Dash treasured as she met up with the rest, bowing low and reveling in the cries of adoration.
Silent Gale, Freefall, and Snowdrift arrived on scene just in time to witness the spectacular feat, and they gazed in awe as they felt the magic flow over them.
“Never in all me life have I ever seen somethin’ like that. C’mon, mates, we’ve treasure t’ give the happy couple!” They ran towards the procession and Cloudburn’s breath caught as her friends darted passed. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed them until then, and she followed at a distance as they unloaded articles of great worth before Flying Grace and Quakehoof.
“Sorry we’re late, Miss Grace. I took the liberty of purloining a few choice articles from Proud’s estate. Word on the wind is he won’t be needing it no more, we figured it would be better off with you.”
“Ever the gentlecolt, Gale. Thank you very much.” He bowed a knee before casting a wave at Storm Blitz who immediately fell into a dive and tackled him, laughing as they tumbled over. Rainbow Dash landed a respectful distance away and watched as Storm was quickly overcome by Freefall and Snowdrift.
“I can’t believe you’re all here! I’m so glad to see you all,” he said, fighting back tears as he beheld his friends for the first time in five years.
“Your mother sent us an express delivery, bidding us to come. I, for one, was grateful for a chance to get out of Cloudspire. Your Wonderbolt friends caused quite the ruckus, Storm Blitz,” Freefall said with a grin, and they all let him stand as they backed away.
“Heh, we gave them a run for their money at the weather factory, though,” Snowdrift added. “But seriously, look at you! Made it into the Wonderbolts, must be your grandfather’s blood.” Storm chatted energetically before he saw Rainbow Dash off to the side. He waved her over and she approached cautiously, wanting to make a good impression for Storm. Dash suddenly found herself held in a tight embrace.
“Actually, guys, the only reason I ever took up flight again was for this mare. This is Rainbow Dash, the most talented pegasus in Equestria.”
“No, no, that can’t be right,” Snowdrift said, accepting Storms offended look before continuing with a smile. “There’s no way a pony that beautiful would shack up with you.”
“I’ll make you eat those words, Snowdrift!” he roared, tackling him again and laughing as they wrestled. Gale watched with a smirk before a tap to his shoulder caused him to turn and jump as he looked over at Cloudburn.
“Why, hello there, Cloudburn. It does me well to see ye again.”
“I’m sorry for leaving like that...” she muttered, looking away.
“Are ye pulling my leg, lass? I’d have jumped for an opportunity to see Storm again too, though I know it was a little more than that for you. Tough break, Cloudburn. I think that spots been filled,” he said, dropping his usually playful tone in exchange for an appropriately gentle one.
“I know, I’m just glad he’s happy again. I’ll find myself somepony, some day.”
“Ye know, I may not be as strappin’ a lad as he is, but if you ever find yourself takin’ a fancy to a heartless rogue, just say the word.” Cloudburn whirled, stepping a couple feet back and not noticing that the rest of her friends were staring.
“Gale, you... I... how long?”
“Let’s see now, must be a good seven years. You didn’t think Storm teased you all that time about us for nothin,’ did ye?” Cloudburn was blown away. After having given Storm such grief about not noticing her feelings for him, here she had done the same to Gale. Was this feeling growing in her chest at seeing him again real? She couldn’t say for sure, but she determined to find out then and there. Gale’s eyes grew wide as she kissed him, her friends standing shocked for a moment before cheering loudly, causing the emotional mare to come back to reality, yanking back and apologizing immediately. “Now don’t you worry none, Cloudburn. I’ve been waitin’ for that seven years. I ain’t ashamed.”
Rainbow Dash offered her support and encouragement to the two before her and Storm brought the group over to get acquainted with his new friends in Ponyville. Applejack did her best to keep a straight face and not let her disappointment show that of all the ponies that could come to Ponyville, it had to be two stallions that were too young and one that was young and quite likely to be taken soon. Pinkie Pie was beside herself with excitement, deciding that since everypony was gathered anyway it demanded a party, and the crowd soon found themselves covered in confetti from her party cannon. Fluttershy stuck close to Twilight and Cerulean, while Rarity lounged on the couch she had drug from home, flirting with a hopeless Freefall. Storm and Rainbow Dash made their way through over to the three, who were talking to Quakehoof and Flying Grace.
“Hmmm, what do you think, Twilight? How long until they get married?” Cerulean said as they approached, causing them both to blush.
“I’d say... three months, tops.”
“Twilight, cut it out! Sheesh, find myself a coltfriend and next thing you know everypony is talking about marriage,” Dash huffed, heaving a sigh.
“Well, if Storm is anything like his father, I’d say two months,” Grace said with a grin from within Quakehoof’s embrace. They all shared a laugh until a sudden angry cry arose from a frustrated orange earth pony behind Cerulean and Storm, rising above the crowd and causing a moments hesitation before more laughter followed. Cerulean and Twilight couldn’t help but feel sorry for Applejack’s lamentation, and they drew beside her as she wailed.
“Dang it, what’s an honest mare gotta do to find a decent stallion ‘round here!?! It just ain’t fair!”
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AppleFrustrated. I'm sure there's somepony out there for AJ... hintity hint hint (Unless I'm ingorant and it is already planned in which case: nudge nudge)
I give it a month and a half till the wedding.
375507
We got something planned for her. She will eventually be happy. What we have planned though I won't say
Wow, you guys are prolific. I loved the ending.
So is your focus going to be on Twi's current fic, or do you have something else in mind? An OC for poor ol' Applejack maybe?
375746 My current focus is, yes, Unplanned. It will likely not end up being as long as first intended, probably around 16 chapters or so, but even that is subject to change. AJ is likely next, as her story/oc is further developed than the second idea I have. Do not worry, me and Ominous are gonna get that mare a stallion.
Okay...first things first. I really liked this story. You had a lot of good stuff here and it was an enjoyable read. That said, I'm about to cut loose with my Rant Cannon on full auto. You've been warned. Alright, here we go...
First, there are some things you did a very good job with. I like how you developed Storm as a character and how you built his relationship with Rainbow Dash. You also handled the dynamic of his relationship with Scootaloo very well. The part where Scootaloo learned what a monster Proud Skies was could have been a major Deus Ex Machina, but you made good use of it by selling the severe trauma of the sudden revelation. Having her overcome that and realize the truth was an excellent development.
As for some of the issues, well, I must return to the topic of Proud Skies as an antagonist. I was glad to see you put some effort into building up his motivation towards the end there, even if he was never fully fleshed out as a character. However, you need to put more thought into the logic of how things work in your story.
Proud Skies makes substantial use of what I term, Political Dark Matter. That is to say, he somehow has very far-reaching powers of authority and influence without any feasible explanation of where these powers come from short of, "he's a politician.". To my knowledge, you've never indicated the particular position or office that Proud Skies held. He has the authority to make sweeping edicts that encompass the breadth of Equestria (or at least, the Pegasus portions of it), and yet being elected Mayor of a city (however large), would not normally be considered a move upwards in political circles from a position where he can make those kinds of declarations. What are his spheres of influence? What is his power base? What laws, privileges and perks allow Proud Skies to go through with all of this? In general, you shape Proud Skies' actions as those that would be more akin to the privileges available to the nobles or aristocracy of a feudal system, but not an elected official in a quasi-democratic system.
But the biggest disappointment concerning Proud Skies has its roots in Chapter 12, where Flying Grace discovers that Proud Skies had poisoned Lightning Wing and was even planning to kill her unborn child. Revelations like this raise the stakes of the conflict. Before this, Proud Skies had merely been an irredeemable asshole (pardon my language). Even better, you have Flying Grace make a terrible error in judgment when she decides to blackmail him instead of running straight to Celestia to turn him in. So, not only have you raised the stakes by making Proud Skies willing to resort to murder and even infanticide to get his way, you also give him an opening to bring that aspect of his character into play. Flying Grace is simply sitting on potentially incriminating information that could utterly ruin Proud Skies' life, to say nothing of his career, which gives him both the motivation and opportunity to turn the tables on her and the rest of her family by employing those measures. But instead he does...nothing. Even after Storm and Rainbow utterly humiliate him in front of Princess Celestia, his response is to simply issue another "screw you" edict. You escalate the tension by making Proud Skies a credible threat on a much more serious level than before, but you never capitalize on it. After Chapter 12, I was literally on the edge of my seat, wondering when the hammer was going to fall, up until Chapter 20 where you finally made it clear that Proud Skies is just going to continue doing the same things he's been doing the whole time, which really killed the suspense. In essence, you were building towards a climax, but basically skipped over it.
While I understand that this comes too late for you to really do anything about it in this story, I would like to challenge you to put some more careful thought into your future works when it comes to your antagonists. What do they want? What are their goals and motivations? What are the means they have at their disposal. In other words, what is the logic that drives the conflict at the center of your story beyond the antagonist simply being villainous and making life difficult for the good guys.
I hope that you don't feel troubled by this. I really liked this story and your previous one. I just feel that you can do better and I would like to see you improve. Thanks for your consideration and sorry for the wall of text.
377175
You make very good points on Proud Skies. Points I won't argue as you are right, we never really fleshed him out. I take full responsibility for that as the OC's, save for Cerulean, were my responsibility. Besides that what did you think of the rest of the story.
377175 We goofed.
Now, have a blog post!
So, anyone else imagining the YEAH! pegasus from this last weekend's episode as Storm?
380779
Eenope Don't make me think of Storm one bit.
Eh, random unusually large stallion pegasus out of nowhere? So just me?
Two down, each one funny and touching as hell by the way, Two more to go can't wait to read the rest!
596374 Additional proofreading is welcome! If it makes the story better and more readable, I've no reason to complain. I'll do my best to fix any problems you comment on right away.
596656
His name was originally Silent Wind, we changed it to Gale because of the implication having Wind at the end implied. Also, Coulda sworn we got that.
Please write more. I haven't enjoyed reading something this much in a very long time. Excellent stories.
652084 I could be wrong, but I see "fillyfriend" as "girlfriend" and "marefriend" as "my friend that is a female" (when spoken one female to another). I have used fillyfriend in all my stories in that way, and as this is the first time it's been pointed out, I think I can take confidence in the fact that I am brony enough either way.
Look at this picture of Brynjolf of the Thieves Guild in Skyrim:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120130045943/elderscrolls/images/thumb/e/ea/Brynjolf9.jpg/266px-Brynjolf9.jpg
Now say this line in your mind:
“Ye know, I may not be as strappin’ a lad as he is, but if you ever find yourself takin’ a fancy to a heartless rogue, just say the word.”
Cannot be undone.
Great story!!! Thoroughly enjoyed it. I was very glad to see you made Storm Blitz become a Wonderbolt too; I was scared after reading earlier chapters that RD would become a Wonderbolt while Storm was stuck doing weather duty or something, which would have left me filled with discontentment (I hate it when writers make their OCs be really inferior to the mane six). Didn't really understand how Storm's friends were too young for Applejack since I would assume that Storm is roughly RD's age, and RD is around Applejack's age, and I'd expect Storm's friends to be around his age. Anyways, overall, great work, you guys. Looking forward to reading the sequels.
Well, started reading this one around 1400 GMT on the 31st of May, started work at 1700 and finished at 0200.
It is now 0530 GMT, and I have just finished reading this story!!!!! Damn you sir for keeping me enthralled!!!
Well on to story number 3!!!
I loved every word I read in this fanfiction, except the two words Proud Skies who was constantly reminding me of hatred and pain. I really really hated that Pegasus. But a fantastic story anyway that goes straight down to my favorite list.
707743 ... You must be new. I'm Magical Trevor, Ceru's Pre-reader. Hai! (First comment was from when he first posted this, and OminousEdge was bugging me toread it. After going through Tears, whining about the grammar and such the whole way through, Ceru and Omi brought me on to pre-read. I made the comment you're replying to FOREVER ago! xD)
661186 I shall now quote M.Bison: MMMM YEEESS!!!! MMM YYYYEESSSSS!!
776681
?
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/053/3/8/wedding_dress___rainbow_dash_by_soapie_solar-d4ql55r.png
I am so glad you convinced me to continue with your story! This is so much better then Tears in the Snow I enjoyed it so much I look forward to the continuations of this cool little fannon you've built. Also Cerulean doesn't irritate me any more and I love Storm. Also thanks for keeping me entertained though the 13 hour train ride home from Bronycon with this finished in record time for me!
661186
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/081/long-neck-reaction.jpg
956696
If you read the next fic Unplanned Parenthood there is a good reason why he wouldn't have broken free from this.
For some reason I have Silent Gale, in my head, having an Australian accent.
1069553 I agree with you
674316 It's just this simple: AJ likes older guys.
are they getting married in a sequel?
661186 Damn you. Silent Gale will now always have Brynjolf's voice. Now I just need to keep forcing myself from substituting Barbosa's for Pip.
Story was great. Onto the next one!
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
Great fic!
although.... a few parts were.......interesting?
actually, I have NO idea how to describe the thought of a giant backside on the moon. 0_o
all randomness aside. 10/10. hands down.
I'd give you 5 stars but NOOOOOOO. Never the less, 10/10 would bang.
1718306
Here is an explanation why that is a punishment. Though if you meant offensive as in Proud Skies basically being an Earth Pony now then yeah, I can agree.
1069553 True but It's like if you were dating someone, you would call them your girl(boy)friend, not woman(man)friend... I mean grammatically it isn't technically correct but it undeniably sounds a lot better.
God this is like the
.
45 time I've read this, I love this story so muchIt always makes me think of the song The Power of Love by Gabrielle Aplin.
please just keep writing stories like these.
1881713
Death would have been too easy.
This is by far the best Rainbow Dash Involved story that I've ever read. 5/5 mustache spikes
Amazing that's all I can muster for a response. A great read! I'm planning on reading anything you make. I hope you carry on in your streak of success with weighting!
is there gonna be a contuim where AJ gets a coltfriend
2191853 ha finally some one sees that
Omg that was amazing!!
I laughed so hard so many times
And the righteous fury that was aimed a Proud glorious!
Watch you notice box I can see many faves in your future
Cool story, Bro!
2292859
Yes, I was freakin out when I saw him.
2292859 character design is a mare, and the wiki calls her "Midnight Strike."
That whole story was amazing!!!
2457265 I hate when people do this
they reply to a comment I made over two months ago! It annoys me
2476272 I did, and I still stand by my statement. I never said anything about girlfriend. I simply said that marefriend seemed to better fit with their age group than fillyfriend. Do you see me denounce the word girlfriend at all in there? No, of course not, because that's not what I was doing at all.
2476272>>2476299 I still say that it's supposed to be fillyfriend
2478621 Man its been forever since i read this. and its still awesome as it was back then. Oh and yes that was before my typing class.