Chapter 12: Judgement
A chocolate-brown stallion walked along the edge of the Everfree Forest, eyes on the nearby cottage as the sun hovered high in the sky. The stallion turned toward the forest, stopping just before reaching the tree line. The stallion's eyes closed, and it reached out with its mind past the trees. It wasn't long before it found the other changeling it was looking for. Establish the relay; the hive must be warned, the disguised changeling thought.
It took a few seconds, but a reply reached its mind. Relay established. Go ahead, Infiltrator.
The changeling sent out a stream of images, concepts, and a message through the network of hidden changelings that lead back to the main hive. The mission in Ponyville is officially deemed a failure, but our goal may yet be reached. I managed to get Rainbow Dash arrested and sent to Canterlot, where she likely awaits judgement in the dungeons. If she is kept away from the other Elements of Harmony, the mission may ultimately be successful. The cost has been heavy, however. Four members of the team are dead, and one has been captured. I am the only one left, at the moment.
In addition to the casualties, our plans have been revealed to the ponies. The element of magic interrogated us and forced us to tell our secrets. I have no doubt that word is being spread throughout Equestria that changelings are among the ponies. I humbly suggest the immediate evacuation of all non-essential infiltrators and lurkers to avoid capture and further exposure of sensitive information.
The changeling suddenly felt magic flowing through them, probing at its body. A bio-scan spell, and more refined than the one Twilight had first used. The changeling let loose with its own magic to trick the spell, as it had done in Twilight's basement, but the probing soon stopped.
The disguised changeling turned to see the source, and found a guard advancing on it. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me for questioning," said the armored unicorn.
The changeling sent out one final thought as the guard produced a set of shackles, seemingly from thin air. I will send further updates if possible. Infiltrator Vespil, out.
* * * *
Rainbow Dash sat silently on the straw bed, staring at the stone wall in front of her. Even though she'd had plenty of time to think on the trip to Canterlot, her mind was still very much occupied. She'd wondered if she'd made the right decision when she turned herself in. She knew the things she'd done as Dark Spectrum had been bad, of course, but she wasn't looking forward to finding out what happened to villains who got caught. Perhaps it was the ethically-sound thing to do, but sitting in the Canterlot Dungeons sure didn't make her feel any better.
She also thought about her friends in Ponyville. They all loved her, and she had just taken herself away from them. She knew how terrible it felt to have friends ripped away from her, and she'd just done it to the five who were willing to cover up the fact that she'd wanted to kill them. They were the best friends anypony could have ever asked for, and she owed them better than this.
But right was right, right? She'd done bad things, and now she was... she was going to pay for them. Just like she'd wanted to make Mare Do Well pay.
Rainbow shuddered a little at the thought of what might be waiting for her in the coming days. She kinda didn't want to know what was in store for her, but waiting in a cell with nothing but her own thoughts to keep her company felt pretty awful, and she wished they would just do whatever and get it over with. But what exactly would they do to a fiend like her?
The sound of a door opening brought her gaze away from the wall. Was it lunch time already? She didn't have a clock, but it didn't seem like it'd been very long since she'd finished the last bowl of dry oats they'd given her. She didn't have a calendar, either, but she figured it had been at least two days since she'd arrived, assuming they gave her three meals a day.
She heard the sound of metal clicking against stone, and the guard standing in the hallway turned and opened the cell door. They didn't open her door to deliver food, so it must not be her lunch. A tall visitor stepped into view instead, nodding to the guard before moving through the doorway and into Rainbow's cell. The guard bowed to the visitor before trotting out of sight.
"Good morning, Rainbow Dash." Princess Celestia's voice was not the friendly tone Rainbow had heard most of the time, but it wasn't the harsh tone she'd heard during the incident with Discord, either. Rainbow looked up at her, unable to read the alicorn's expression.
"Good morning, Princess Celestia," Rainbow replied. Somehow, Celestia seemed even taller than usual. Rainbow moved her gaze to the floor.
"I would assume that you know why I am here," Celestia said, her mane billowing in a light breeze that wasn't there.
"Yeah, I got a pretty good idea." Rainbow sighed as her eyes turned back toward the alicorn, and she cut right to the point. "So what's the verdict, huh?"
"Your fate has not yet been determined. I have come here to talk with you, first." Celestia's eyes were locked on Rainbow. "Then we will decide what happens to you."
"We?" Rainbow asked.
"My sister and I, of course."
"Oh, yeah, of course." Rainbow's ears flattened. She was still getting used to the whole "two princesses" thing. Rainbow watched the princess for a few seconds before looking over at her bed, shrugging. "What did you wanna talk about? I already told the guards the whole story."
"And they told me. I am not here to talk about your crimes, Rainbow, I am here to talk about you."
Rainbow snorted. "What's to talk about? I got pranked by some bug monsters and flipped out. Now I'm in a dungeon because of it."
"Shining Armor informed me that he initially heard a different story about you. A story which you say is untrue. Surely you realized that your friends were attempting to protect you. Why did you turn yourself in when you could have easily evaded punishment?" Celestia was still watching Rainbow, who found it a little unnerving.
Rainbow shrugged. "I just... I felt really bad about it, you know? Like, I'd tried to kill them when they'd really been changelings, and the real ones were willing to forgive me and try to cover it up for me. I dunno, I just kinda felt like I didn't deserve such good friends when I'd done such bad things." Rainbow shook her head, turning back to Celestia. "But now I feel like I'm abandoning them. I feel like the worst friend ever. And... And Spitfire...." Rainbow shuddered slightly at the memory of the Wonderbolt's bloody, split-open face.
Celestia quickly asked, "And you feel regret for the things you've done?"
Rainbow nodded. Regret was what she'd been feeling the most of for the last few days. "Anything else you wanna know?"
Celestia nodded. "Yes, but first, there is something that I think you may like to know. Your five friends did not seem to think of you as a bad friend when they visited me in the palace yesterday."
Rainbow's face brightened a little. "They don't?"
Celestia nodded. "They all begged me not to lock you away forever or banish you from Equestria. Perhaps I am mistaken, but I got the distinct impression that all cared about you deeply. I sense that you still care about them as well."
A smile came to Rainbow slowly. It was a sad smile just the same. She nodded.
Celestia hummed thoughtfully. "I have one more question. If you knew that somepony else had done the things that you have done over the last four weeks, what do you think should happen to them?"
Rainbow locked eyes with Celestia. A few days ago, she might have suggested execution or maybe exile, but that anger had been replaced by guilt over the last few days.
After a few minutes of silence, Rainbow finally gave her answer. "I'd make sure that they never hurt anypony again."
Princess Celestia nodded slowly. "I see. I will discuss the matter with Princess Luna, though I see no reason why she would disagree with me. I will return shortly to inform you of our decision, Rainbow Dash." Celestia walked away without another word.
Rainbow slid down onto her bed. Now came the waiting. Waiting to find out just how long she'd be locked up or where she'd be banished to, if they let her live at all. Waiting to find out if she'd ever see her friends again.
* * * *
Twilight paced the library's main room, circling endlessly. Scattered around the room were Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Spike. Almost all her friends were there, and the one that was missing was the reason for their gathering. Princess Celestia hadn't said why she wanted to see them all, but Twilight knew. She was sure the others knew, too.
Celestia and Luna still hadn't delivered their verdict on Rainbow's punishment, and Celestia's attitude didn't seem to change at all during the six's attempt to sway her decision. They'd told of all the good things Rainbow had done, even during the last four weeks, and pointed out that she had been the reason that the changeling plot had been exposed. Celestia had just nodded and agreed with them, but still hadn't told them what she had planned for Rainbow.
At last, the silence in the library was broken by the sound of something heavy landing outside, pulled by pegasi, if Twilight's ears were working properly. She stopped, turning to the door, and waited. She could hear a lot of moving around outside before the door opened.
All eyes turned to Princess Celestia as she stepped through the doorway. Twilight was afraid to speak, and instead just stared pleadingly at the princess. Celestia was still for what felt like an eternity, but finally nodded slowly. Twilight gasped, a hoof going to her mouth, but then looked to the ceiling with a puzzled expression. Wait, what does that mean?
Celestia stepped aside, and the pony they'd been waiting to see stepped inside. "Um, hey, girls," Rainbow said with a tiny smile.
The five friends all pounced on Rainbow, hugging her harder than they'd ever hugged anything before. Rainbow coughed a little, and they loosened their grip just a bit.
Twilight turned toward Celestia. "Please tell me this isn't a hug goodbye."
Princess Celestia held her head high, pausing a moment before delivering her verdict. "I will allow Rainbow Dash to remain in Ponyville with her friends."
The cheering that erupted from the library would have given the Royal Canterlot Voice a run for its money, and Rainbow was enveloped by the ponies yet again.
The alicorn waited a moment until they were quiet before continuing, "Rainbow will be kept under strict watch at all times, however, and will not be allowed to leave Ponyville without all five of you and a team of armed guards present. This will remain in effect for the next twenty-six moons, or until we decide that she will no longer be a threat to anypony. She will also be required to log at least 50 hours per week helping to rebuild Ponyville and fix the damage that she has caused."
"Wow," Twilight said, "thats... uh... good, I guess."
"Better than being banished to the Everfree Forest, though, right?" came a familiar voice. Twilight's eyes lit up.
Celestia stepped away from the door. "Twilight, you may be pleased to know that your brother Shining Armor will be in charge of keeping an eye on Rainbow."
Shining Armor stepped into the library, and Twilight latched onto him in another hug. He chuckled a bit, rubbing a hoof through her mane. "Hey, Twily. Looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other for a while."
"Seems that way, huh?" Twilight let go of her brother and turned back to the others.
"Um," Spike started, "Shouldn't Rainbow be guarded by a pegasus instead of a unicorn? You know, 'cause she can fly?" The six friends all turned to Spike. "What? It's a reasonable question."
Celestia explained, "The team will be made up of both pegasi and unicorns. The unicorns will be lead by Shining Armor, as will the pegasi until Spitfire has recovered and is ready to return to duty."
Rainbow's ears went flat and her eyes turned to the floor. Twilight put a hoof on Rainbow's shoulder, but suddenly noticed that Pinkie was positively quivering with anticipation, but what for? "Pinkie, are you okay?"
"No," Pinkie started, "I'm not okay. I'm spectabulous!" And with that, Pinkie pulled a big blue cannon from seemingly nowhere and blasted the room with party supplies, decorating it in a matter of seconds. "Dashie's back! That means it's party time!"
Even Rainbow was laughing at that, as Twilight took notice. Even if the world were falling apart, Pinkie would be there to make everypony feel like it wasn't that bad.
Pretty soon, Rainbow was talking and laughing some more as the party got underway. Twilight couldn't help but notice that Rainbow kept looking over at one of the guards that lingered in the library, all of whom were watching her right back.
Celestia excused herself early, citing royal duties as her reason for leaving. Twilight excused herself as well, trotting after the princess and calling out to her.
Celestia stopped, one hoof in the chariot that had pulled up outside. "Yes, Twilight? Did you need something?"
"I just.... Thank you, really, for letting us have our friend back."
Celestia smiled softly, glancing at the door behind Twilight before replying. "Rainbow's actions were far from right, but she was manipulated by creatures with a terrible agenda. I do not believe that she is truly a bad pony, but you understand that she must be kept under watch, for her own sake as well as the sake of others. And just between you and I, it would have been unsafe to keep her away from you. If you six were to be split up and kept apart, the Elements of Harmony could not be used, and Equestria would be left without one of its most important means of defense." Her smile faded as she continued, "If we had kept her in the dungeons, the changeling plot would have succeeded. I fear that this changeling problem may be larger than we know, and that Equestria may need the Elements more than ever now that their conspiracy has been brought into the open."
Celestia stepped up into the chariot, her soft smile returning. "But for now, go and have fun with your friends. Keep the bonds of your friendships strong. They may be the key to saving all of Equestria yet again. Farewell." And with that, the carriage lifted off and headed back for Canterlot.
Twilight stood for a moment, waving at the departing carriage, before turning and heading back inside.
* * * *
The party within the library slowly wound down as everypony grew tired, though Rainbow was wishing it would just keep going forever. When the music finally stopped and the others were headed for the door, Rainbow tapped Twilight on the shoulder. "Yeah, Rainbow?" Twilight asked.
Rainbow scratched at the back of her neck. "Hey, uh, would you mind if I stayed here for the night? I mean, it's a long way to my house, and I'm pretty tired. And Ghastly Gorge is pretty cold at night, too."
"Of course you can stay, Rainbow." Twilight said with a smile and a wink. "In fact, why don't we all stay here tonight?"
The rest of the girls nodded and Rainbow shrugged with a sheepish grin. "Yeah, that sounds good. I mean, it doesn't really matter to me, but if you all want to, then why not?" The five latched onto Rainbow before she knew what was happening. She groaned, but couldn't fight the smile on her face. She hugged them back, whispering, "Thanks, girls."
A little while later, all six were climbing into Twilight's bed. It had taken a little while for her to get the enlargement spell just right, but she assured them that it wouldn't shrink for at least twelve hours.
Rainbow slid under the covers as the lights went out, and she caught sight of the guards standing at the door again. It had been a little disconcerting having them watch her during the party, and even more so now that she was trying to sleep. She'd better get used to it, though, as it would be this way for a long time. She sighed, thinking about what was ahead of her in the coming months. She knew it was going to be a long hard road, especially when it came to making amends, but she had an idea of where to start.
* * * *
"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Twilight asked, one hoof resting on Rainbow's back.
Rainbow shook her head. "No, but it's something I gotta do. Might as well get started now." Rainbow slid out from under her hoof and away from her five best friends, but found her own hoof stopped short of the door handle. Rainbow stood there, locked in battle with her own mind, until her eyes turned to the five friends that had accompanied her there. Even after all the madness, they were still there for her. She took a breath and opened up the door.
Spitfire's orange eyes briefly flitted to point at the door, then went back to looking at the window. Rainbow stepped over to the bed, greeting the Wonderbolt. "Hey, Spitfire."
Spitfire kept looking at the window silently. There were bandages scattered across her body, the most noticeable of which covered the left half of her face.
"I guess we're gonna be seeing each other a lot from now on, huh?"
Spitfire remained silent.
"So, listen, I'm... I-I...." She didn't know how to say it. She took another deep breath, and just said the words she needed to get out. "I'm sorry, Spitfire."
Spitfire didn't respond.
Rainbow pressed on, rubbing a hoof against the back of her neck. "I feel really horrible about everything, especially what happened... especially what I did to you."
Not a muscle on Spitfire so much as twitched.
"So, um, are we cool?"
No response.
"Can we, like, put it behind us and stuff?"
No answer.
"Spitfire, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to do. Please, just say something so that I know we're cool."
Not a sound came from the mare.
"Tell me what I can do to fix this. Tell me how I can make it up to you. Tell me something, anything, please."
Nothing.
"Listen, if I could go back in time—"
Spitfire whirled around, wrapping a foreleg around Dash's neck and jerking her forward. "Can you?" For the second time, Rainbow was struck by the look in Spitfire's eyes. Dash shook her head, unable to bring any words to her mouth.
Spitfire held her there a few seconds more, glaring into her eyes. Then she just let go and turned back to the window.
Rainbow pulled away, suddenly feeling like a scared little filly again. She stepped back from the bed, unsure of what to do. Spitfire didn't say or do anything after that. She didn't seem to be paying any attention to Rainbow's apologies or pleas for forgiveness. Eventually, Rainbow turned and walked out of the hospital, her five friends and several guards following alongside.
"How'd it go?" Twilight asked once they were a fair distance from the building.
"Not good," Rainbow said with a sigh, "I think she... I think she hates me."
"These things take time, Rainbow," Applejack commented. "I'm sure she'll come around eventually. Some wounds just take longer ta heal than others."
Rainbow nodded. Even though she knew that Applejack didn't mean it literally, she couldn't help but find her hoof going up to her left cheek. She was pretty sure that Spitfire would bear that scar for the rest of her life. After what happened with Spitfire, she didn't feel quite up to trying to apologize to everypony at the weather station just yet.
Rainbow was snapped back to the present at the sound of her name being called. She looked up to see Comet Tail standing next to a pile of rubble. "What're you still doing here? Shouldn't you be rotting in a dungeon somewhere, or munching on pine cones in Everfree?"
Pine cones? Gross! Does Everfree even have those? Rainbow opened her mouth to speak, but another voice cut her off.
"I think she should've been sent off to live with those griffons. Doesn't she know one already?" That voice belonged to Golden Harvest, a major source of carrots for Rainbow as of late.
"Griffons? Please. She should be shipped off to the frozen north and made to live in a cave," Silver Spoon said as other ponies started to gather around.
Diamond Tiara giggled. "Not bad, Silver Spoon, but I think Celestia should have turned her into a frog and made her live in a bog."
"Oooh," Silver giggled, "bonus points for rhyming!" The two hoof-bumped before turning back to sneer at Rainbow.
Rainbow was finding the whole situation creepily familiar. She hoped that it wouldn't turn out as violent as the marketplace had become that day. She was worried what the guards might do if she tried to defend herself. None of them were saying anything, even when she looked at them worriedly.
"How dare you!" Fluttershy suddenly exclaimed, her voice barely louder than usual. "You don't know what she's been through, or what it's like to think you've lost everypony you care about." The other five turned their surprised expressions to Fluttershy as she berated the angry townsponies with her barely-audible voice.
"I know what I've been through," Golden Harvest retorted, "Do you know how much money I lost because she stole my carrots?"
"And she broke all the windows in my house," Comet Tail added.
"Are you all blind," Silver chipped in again, "or did you not notice that we don't have a town hall anymore?"
"Well, umm...." The burst of courage Fluttershy had appeared to be waning.
"Now I'll have y'all know that Rainbow here came back to Ponyville to fix the damage she caused," Applejack cut in.
"And are you blind, little filly, or have you not noticed just how awful Rainbow already feels about everything?" Rarity scolded, putting a hoof on Dash's shoulder.
"Well, good." Diamond spat. "She's a bad pony and she should feel like a bad pony!"
"Not according to Princess Celestia," Twilight said with a crooked smirk. "Are you saying our Princess of the Sun is wrong?"
The others just exchanged looks, seemingly unsure of how to respond, and Pinkie added her own two bits. "Yeah! Dashie's a good pony, she just made a bad decision. Right, Fluttershy?"
The yellow pegasus nodded, her confidence seeming to return. "That's right. Rainbow got tricked by changelings, just like everypony else in town. And if she hadn't done what she did, then the whole city might've been taken over by them."
Rainbow stared around at the five ponies defending her. Even though she still felt terrible, a smile found its way onto her face. She placed a hoof on Fluttershy's back, causing her to let out a little squeak. "It's okay, Fluttershy. Let's just go, everypony."
Fluttershy looked up at her oldest friend, asking, "A-are you sure you're alright?"
Rainbow nodded and kept on walking, the others following around her. Everywhere they turned, she was greeted by angry stares. But whenever she looked at her friends, they just gave her a reassuring smile that made everything else seem unimportant. Rainbow knew it would be a long time before she got her awesome reputation back, if it even happened at all. She knew it would be a lot of work helping rebuild the town hall and half the city. She knew most everypony in town would probably hate her for years to come.
But Rainbow didn't care just then, because she knew that she had the best friends in the world to help her through it all. And she always would.
The End
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MOAR! I want to see Dark Spectrum kick Changeling ass some more! Also with a new hero in the area you just know a villain is around some dark and slimy pit.
3658134
Well, I didn't want to completely crush anyone's soul, but I find it hard to see that ending as very happy. I mean, yeah, the very last note is on the upbeat side, but most of Rainbow's life is still in ruins. I classified it in the best way I could figure based on the FAQ. I'd call this ending bittersweet, at best. Sorry if you were disappointed.
3658139
Considering the reception this story has gotten, I'm pretty sure I'll be writing at least one more story in this alternate universe.
My opinion is that this was a wonderful story. My biggest problem with this story is the twist in it. Not because I wanted the story to be all about RD's sanity, but because it comes right out of nowhere. It never was hinted at that Mare Do Well was just changelings in the story and when it's reviled, it comes with a nasty right hook. Even though the end of this story wasn't what I wanted, (RD no longer evil) it's still a good ending though. However, chapters 1-8 are great, wonderful chapters of what I wanted when I first started reading. You can clearly see RD's transformation into becoming more and more evil. Not only that, but when she injures Spitfire, it's a natural 'What have I done?' moment that clearly fits in with her character. I wished though that we could have seen the full on consequences for what she did though. I would have loved to see what she felt like doing next after she killed the others. I liked this story before the twist, and I'll still keep my like after this is all said and done. I mean, the twist may be terrible, but Dark Spectrum as a villain was awesome.
Poor Spitfire, after all. And poor RD. I mean, she did the right thing at the end, no doubt, and she knew that she did bad things. But sometimes, when you snapped, you snapped. As simply as that. Maybe she even lost Scootalo's confidence. Her life never would be the same.
Damn changellings.
I hope theres a sequel. That would be SO AWESOME
Great conclusion my friend.
SEQUEL PLEASE!!!!
SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL!
3658238
First of all, thank you for giving it a read and for your praise. I knew that not everyone would like that reveal, and I tried to make the story worth reading in general. Sorry about the disappointing reveal. However, I did try to hint at it a few times. Like the weird goings on, Rainbow claiming a few times that her friends had "changed," the five's uncharacteristic refusal to go to Rainbow during her descent into darkness.... The story was built from the start on the premise that they were changelings, including the intentionally-contrived marketplace scene where she gets run out of town. And there was one thing that I actually worried about having in there. The line, "what's a word for somepony that changes into somepony else." I tried to keep the hints fairly subtle, but they were there.
Thanks for mentioning me. And if you make a sequel, Scootaloo is gonna play a major role in it.
3658134
The "tragedy" tag calls for a sad or bittersweet ending.
Dash may have escaped a prison sentence, but she's on parole. Her reputation is in tatters. The captain of the Wonderbolts, her life long heroes, hates her guts - as does the rest of the team I would imagine. Plus, you know, she has to live with the memory of killing her best friends with her bare hooves. I'd personally call that ending bittersweet at the very best.
3658188
If you want to do a sequel I have two ideas that could work.
1. Have another Pony take up the Dark Spectrum mantle and Rainbowdash having to deal with that. Lightingdust probably would be the best candidate. Although if you really want to make it dark and twisted make it Scootaloo many years later. Think of the drama. In fact now that I think about Scootaloo years later makes more sense since Wonderbolt academy not likely to happen in your universe.
2.Or just do what Supehero comic books do and do a alternate dimension story were Rainbowdash never gave up the mantle and she became a full on Supervillain and she comes to this dimension and has to fight the good Rainbowdash . Rainbow vs Rainbow a battle for the ages!
Or do both make it a Dark Spectrum trilogy
3658498 I really hope he goes with #1. Continuing on this route: Spitfire could pull a Harvey Dent or something.
3658688 Oh...I like that she already hates Rainbow's guts, wouldn't take much to make her snap too.
You'd think some ponies would be less angry at Rainbow, considering their captivity by changelings that Rainbow exposed.
3658695 "After all you did, you're going back to your cozy, civilian life? Just like that? How is that justice! If Celestia won't punish you, maybe I will!"
3658239
3658462
Exactly. Rainbow technically got away and got home to her friends, but everything else about her life has been destroyed. Nothing will ever be the same.
3658774
Yeah.... I kinda avoided having ponies who were confirmed to be replaced in that last scene because of that.
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3658781
Oh, man. I had a few ideas for what I'd do with sequels, but those ideas are flying out the window in light of these ideas. I'm conflicted now, because I think that Spitfire really could be a great villain. Thanks, everyone. I'm pretty sure I have to do at least one sequel now.
I will admit Rainbow being hated by ponyville kinda of reminds me of Nyx from the Past Sins universe where the same thing happens.
Great ending!
*Thumbs up*
3658998
Yeah, I was reminded of Past Sins a bit while writing this. Can't really help it, though, so oh well.
3659182
Thank you kindly, I did my best to wrap it up nicely.
Twenty-six months of probation for:
>Five attempted murders
>Four actual murders*
>Three aggravated assaults
>One act of terrorism
>Grand theft**
>Numerous acts of vandalism
>Numerous acts of foalnapping
>Numerous acts of false imprisonment
>One act of breaking and entering
* Depending on whether or not changelings hold the same legal protections in Equestria as ponies and whether killing spies would be punished
**Depending on whether or not Dash stole enough carrots and other goods to pass Equestria's statutory amount for "petty theft."
And why do the Princesses always act as judge and jury in these stories? Equestria has millions of citizens. There's no way Celestia and Luna could handle all the legal cases.
It was a good story. Really hilarious for the first six or so chapters but it sobered up as it went along. The changeling thing seemed out of left field, though. As if you were originally going to with the "Dash goes batshit insane, tries to kill the Mane Five when they throw her a party, and then Twilight snaps her neck because almost every [Grimdark] fanfic forgets she can levitate and manipulate matter--easily solving most murder attempts" ending and then decided against.
I still would have preferred it to have been a complete comedy, with Dash as a horribly ineffectual villain. Then you could have not only drowned everything in humor, but have the Mane Five still be themselves and act like douchebags (for comedy's sake), completely ignoring Dash and her ever escalating attempts to get them to "reveal" Mare Do Well and write off her behavior as her just being "egotistical" and "self centered."
I want a sequel where dash is force to become a villein again or where it takes a villein to beat a villein type deal.
Spite fire should become two face from bat man. After her humliashon with Dash she gets fired from the wounderbolt. When she does she becomes a villein her self seeking revenge against those who ruined her career because of a scar. And dash is the only one two stop her because sometimes it takes a villein to stop a villein.
I can see it now.
Sequel! And I liked the conclusion! Despite being ostracised, she'll be happy to be with her friends.
3660257
Rainbow got off easy? Oh, hell yes. Of course, whenever I get around to writing a sequel, we can all see just how unpleasant probation can be in a city that hates you. As for the princesses handling the judgement, well, it seemed like the thing to do, probably because of her ties to the Elements of Harmony. I got no excuses other than that.
And I assure you that the changeling plot was part of the idea before I started writing any of it. I do find myself wondering if I should have scrapped it in favor of a pure supervillain story, but even then I most likely would have stuck with tragedy. As much as I like comedy, I like dark and serious stories even more. Plus, comedy is so subjective that I have a hard time knowing what people will find funny. For example, I don't find this story much more than moderately amusing at times.
Oh, and you're also right about Twilight. I only recently thought about how a real fight with Rainbow against the other five would be (since I never indended it to actually happen), and I figure she could kill all of them except Twilight. She couldn't even touch Twilight. Can't mess with a wizard that powerful... unless she did that rainbow nuke thing right on her head, maybe.
Anyway, thanks for sticking around through the story and letting me know what you thought. I always appreciate feedback, whether it be good or bad.
3660287
Wow. It seems that the idea of Spitfire becoming a villain is popular here. Sounds good to me. I guess I'd better get started on Dark Spectrum II, then.
3660397
I also think of that, but... It could be a little cliché, you know? It's almost the same way in which Harvey Dent become Two Faces. I don't think that it would be a good idea.
3658462 Yeah, but I was comparing it too the other dark tragedy's I've read. One involves around 70 ponies getting brutally murdered and the killer getting executed and the other involves around 30 ponies getting turned into dolls and being held captive against their will with the kidnapper becoming a crazed maniac. So compared to those this is pretty tame.
Which story is that⁉️
Such a cheesy end....
Also 50 hours per week? Seriously?
3660369
3660567
Thanks.
3660641
Hmm.... Good point. I honestly hadn't planned on continuing the superhero theme with any sequels before people in the comments were suggesting it. I planned on focusing on Rainbow getting her life back and the changelings not being finished with Equestria just yet. I'll have to give the whole thing a lot of thought.
3660982
Wow. Yeah, this story wasn't anywhere near that dark. I, myself, consider the real tragedy here to be just how far Rainbow falls and how much she loses as she descends into madness, because she's not evil and isn't cut out to be a villain but gets pushed more and more (both by others and herself) until she snaps and ends up losing almost everything important to her in the process. That's tragic; to me, at least.
3661199
And I'm with you: this is tragic in that way.
For a sequel it's a good idea
It was cool, you deserve props for the original idea; something this site apparently doesn't know the existence of.
3660386
Maybe you should do an alternate universe to this alternate universe where Dash stays a villain.
3660397
YESSSSS
Looks like Wonderbolt Academy won't be happening in this alternate universe.
Dang, when your only defense is made up of six friends vs. an entire town that hates your guts... dang.
You hit in just the way a Tragedy should: hard enough to hurt but not enough for tears.
Take my like.
I sense spitfire is gonna become a villian. I bet her main goal is to kill Rainbow Dash as revenge. Maybe spitfire is gonna name her villan self something more villan like, like Dark Shadow. I bet Spitfire will make a good villian.
I hope someone does a reading of this fic on youtube.
3661186
Cheesy? Yep. It was either that or let the changelings win.
Unless you just mean the last few paragraphs, in which case I was actually going for a little bit of heartwarming in a sea of tragedy. In that case: ehh, oh well.
3663403
3661386
Thank you kindly. I usually try to be original, or put a different spin on things.
3661807
Honestly, I could see a lot of different paths branching from this main idea, and I'm not sure which one to go with. I guess I could go with all of them and just have a bunch of alternate universes. Might get convoluted though.... And then the universes intersect, and evil Dark Spectrum has to tangle with a reformed Rainbow Dash. Oh, man, that's so crazy that I might just do it.
3663863
That'd be cool to see on Youtube, yeah. Not holding my breath, though.
3660386
No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style
I don't suppose you'd be up to writing an alternate ending in which Rainbow gets locked up for life or something, would you? Perhaps Spitfire's condition deteriorates and she dies, and Rainbow is all remorseful and stuff. It's just that we never really got the tragedy we were promised.
If not, a good story anyway, and the heart-warming ending works too.
3670231
Good point, both literally and figuratively.
3672000
Well, I could write one up, yeah... but I couldn't leave that alone. That event would lead Equestria down a path that is radically-different from this one, and I would feel obligated to tell that story as well. There are now three potential alternate universes based on this story: a direct follow-up to this, a version where there are no changelings, and a version where Rainbow gets locked up. I might just do all three.
Whatever the case, I'll make tagged blogs post about any new stories related to this one to alert anyone who fav'd this. And thanks, by the way.
3672136
I noticed that in the last chapter, which would make a good tragic ending if you could explain why Celestia would allow an execution to go ahead.
That way, Rainbow's friends would be upset, Celestia would be upset either because she allowed/didn't prevent the execution or because of how much it crushed Twilight, Spitfire may be upset because she wasn't able to talk Rainbow down and obviously Rainbow would be a tad cut up about it.
I dunno, maybe I'm just barbaric and strange.
3672175
I could find a way to make that work, but it would be a bit tricky coming up with an explanation for why Celestia and Luna would knowingly kill an Element of Harmony, thus disarming their best defensive weapon. Perhaps someone else kills her without authorization.
And perhaps I'm alone in this interpretation, but I feel that the most tragic stories are the ones we live through, because those memories are a weight we will always carry (something I plan to explore in a sequel). A lot of people don't feel that this story is a tragedy, and that's fine; everyone has their own interpretation and perspective and I like to see those differing viewpoints. But I classified it as accurately as I could based on the rules of this website in that it has a bittersweet ending where the main character has lost much and gained vitually nothing.
3672700 Like Lee Harvey Oswald? And I suppose you're right about Celestia and Luna not wanting to kill Dash.
Yeah, I know it didn't have a 'sad' tag, but I still think a sad ending would be good, though it's your story, and I'm very happy with how it ended and am excited for the sequel.
3672732
Yeah. Maybe some angry townspony (or several) decide that she got off too easy, or maybe a royal guard slips something into her oats.
Sorry if I come off a bit defensive. Yeah, it's my story and all that, but I like to entertain and write things that people want to read. I don't plan on altering the major events in this story because it's the story I set out to write. But I'd like to explore alternate versions of these events that are separate from the main canon of it. In fact, I'd encourage anyone else who wanted to do that, since I'm surely not going to write something that pleases everyone and I always like seeing different interpretations of stories. It looks like I've got a lot of work ahead of me, especially if I end up doing multiple versions of these events. I'll try not to disappoint too many people (again).
The Changeling and Mare Do Well character tag needs to be added to this story
3680850
The Mare Do Well tag would be inappropriate because that character doesn't actually appear in this story.
The changeling tag would also probably be inappropriate because they don't play much of a role until the very end, in which case a full main 6 tag should also be used because they show up just as much. Rainbow is the main character and the one that the story follows the majority of the time. Also, that would be utterly spoilerific.
THe ULTIMATE time for plot twists!!!!
Sheesh, Rainbow went nuts just because of Mare Do Well?
I know it wasn't the best episode by a long shot, but damn!
Grow a pair, Dash!
Dash: But.. I'm a mare...
THAT'S NO EXCUSE!!! What with surgery and hormones and stuff!
Dash is afraid.
3825928
Now look at what you've done. Poor Dashie will never go to the doctor again without an armed escort.
Apart from that weird scene where in Rainbow decided to kill all of her friends I thought this was a very well put together story possibility of how things could have gone, semi-depressing ending included.
So I will give you a similar response in the form of how Lord of the Rings could have gone.
i.imgur.com/T9CBQ.gif