• Member Since 20th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen May 14th, 2023

TheTobacconist


...can I even call myself this if I quit smoking years ago?

T

Pinkie's friends begin questioning the exact nature of her abilities.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 44 )

Wtf i wish i was pinkie all my frends think that. :pinkiegasp: :pinkiehappy:

Pinkie being weird, always fun.

Oh, Twilight, one does not simply question Pinkie's abilities. :facehoof:

HA! This needs to be continued. :pinkiehappy::rainbowwild:

3233240
I'm not entirely sure where I could take it though. I could have Pinkie just interacting with the mane six.

I love you in all of your iterations, Pinkie. Even the one where you're secretly a half sandwich, half kobold, half pony thing with an army of demigod squirrels and you have control of the metamultiomniverse and you pit Gaben and Celestia against each other in a trolling contest whilst simultaneously having Twilight and Luna in a shipfic-writing contests (with real ships, no less!). Yes, even that iteration of you.

3234529
I am now simultaneously confused and curious.

dammm that made my head spin, but I had fun sooo is fine. I love Pinky sooo much.:pinkiehappy:

Wait...
It's over?
More more more MORE!
MAKE MOAR! I COMMAND YOU!

3234943
I accept your command, but only because I was going to anyway. I'm glad you liked it.

3234529 That one's mine. Get your own. :pinkiehappy:

I'm pleased that you added more.:pinkiehappy:
:yay: yay!

3235467
Yay, I should have Chapter 3 up in fifteen minutes or so.

I love the references and Discord+Pinky is always a mindbreaker.:pinkiehappy: Moustache for you:moustache::moustache:

3235736
I'm glad you liked the references. I was worried they might be a little overplayed.

Quick thing, though: don't mark it complete if you're adding more chapters.

3236138
Gotcha. I actually didn't think I was going to add any more.

Also, Pinkie is amazing.

Thanks for the review! Here's one for you as well.

Name of Story: Confessions of an Elder God
Grammar score: 7 / 10

There's a few errors, but nothing too severe.

I mean, I meant it as a compliment But she lectured me

There should be a comma in front of "but," and it shouldn't be capitalized. That, or you need a period.

Pinkie bounce alongside Applejack.

Should be bounced.

There's also one or two comma splices.

Pros
-The humor was pretty funny, and usually worked pretty well
-You mostly write the ponies in character, with only a few OOC moments
-Nice jab at Cupcakes

Cons
-You need a crossover tag. You involve pieces of the Doctor Who canon that people probably wouldn't know if
they didn't watch the show.
-You never really explain why Pinkie was found out, or why she decided to reveal herself. Since that isn't revealed,
Pinkie seems to be just acting out of character when she just reveals that huge secret. Though I am assuming that she is just doing it to be funny and could just jump into another iteration where she never revealed her secret.
-The ending seemed a bit rushed, and I didn't quite understand what was going on.

Notes Section
Though you do have paragraphs, it's hard to tell. You need to indent or press the enter key to indicate new paragraphs.

Overall Rating
8/10
Good story, pretty funny, just needs a crossover tag and a bit more embellishment.

3239772
Thanks Carts.
Edit-
Ok, I went through and indented the paragraphs (I don't know how I missed that...), fixed the grammar errors you pointed out (and others that I glanced), and added the crossover tag. I'm not really sure if I want to expound any further on the final chapter though. I appreciate your time and your review.

I want to do a proper review in response to yours. Really, I do. I just can't get myself to do an impartial one. I guess that the grammar score and cons in this review: 3239772 do a good job.
Another Pro I'd add into the review is how it takes a concept that is kinda fanon in many circles I frequent (that Pinkie is some kind of eldritch abomination/elder god/pre-mending planeswalker) and shows Pinkie trying to explain this to her friends.

Overall Rating: 9/10
a fun, whiplash story with a novel writing style that is just shy of haphazard, yet has its own sort of insane logic behind it (like Pinkie, Discord, and the good Doctor.) I feel like these little episodes are a bit of a preview for a larger story, where maybe eventually an iteration of her friends doesn't just go "lolwut" at her explanation of her powers, or the Doctor doesn't get tapped (hehe, MtG double meanings) and instead manages to have some sort of "insane wibbley wobbley timey wimey space genius powwow" thing with Pinkie. I don't know, but I see a lot that could come as a sequel or spinoff. I also see an alot:
4.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TRIo4br3I/AAAAAAAACv4/Zh7_GcMlRKo/s400/ALOT.png

(I think this counts as an Authors Helping Authors Review. I didn't want to almost exactly copy another person's review, so I just put a link to the review and typed what I'd add to the review. I don't know for sure, though.)

3240400
Thanks Bronze
btw the picture really helped soften the blow.

3243443 what do you mean? I loved the story, and even said that I can see more coming out of it in spinoffs, sequels, and followups.

3244734
When you pointed out the "alot".
I'm sorry, I meant the previous post as something of a joke.
edit: seriously, though, that picture is hilarious.

3244749Oh, I didn't actually see a typo (though I'm glad that I helped you find one.) I was just making a joke fueled by a lack of sleep. Glad you liked the picture, though :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by stick123451 deleted Oct 14th, 2013

3347769
awkwardgeeks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Doctor-Whooves-Cover.jpg
bfi.org.uk/sites/bfi.org.uk/files/styles/15_columns/public/image/doctor-who-001-main.jpg?itok=tbe8BGy-

There is a pony that bears a passing resemblance to, and is named after, the main character of Doctor Who. In this fic, the resemblance is made more explicit, with references to the Doctor's methods of dealing with certain threats, and also to his tools.

*Grins and applauds* very fun. Bravo on earning that random tag too:rainbowlaugh:

The way Pinkie keeps "resetting" her friends is actually rather terrfying. :pinkiecrazy::applejackconfused:

...Yeah, I can see there being a problem if Pinkie's friends were to know the truth. Realizing that one of your friends can dis- and re-assemble the universe on a more fundamental level then even Discord and does so casually would put a dampener on their friendship. :pinkiesad2::twilightoops:

There's actually another interesting story that has something similar as a plot-element, though it doesn't strictly go by the "eldritch horror" assumption.

And apparently, Pinkie already had an encounter with Princess Celestia, judging by her "trying to turn me into stone" comment. :derpyderp1:

The ending is ... interesting. :rainbowderp:

Before learning the meaning of humor, Pinkie apparently started out as a "cosmic horror"-being. :unsuresweetie:

Author's Note:

I thought it would be funny if Rainbow Dash confuses the meaning of some words. As in she can't tell the difference between 'plausible' and 'implausible'.

I thought she at first thought it was an unreasonable statement, but then she actually considered who she was talking to after looking back up.

WHICH VERSION OF THE DOCTOR IS IT???

so granted Discord is the only one who can keep up with Pinkie, but I'm worried things are gonna break down for good. and by "things" I mean reality itself.

Okay, now I'm worried. Pinkie Pie is basically mind wiping the other and damaging reality out of selfishness. Bananas are gonna split! Balloons will be popped! PiƱata's will be broken open but there won't be any candy!

I swear time travel has to do with more personal perspective than is even considered right now. I mean that literally, as science says the faster you go compared to someone else the faster you travel in time compared to them, but I think there's more to it than that. If any sci-fi entertainment had it the closest to correct, I'd wager Doctor Who(I mean as in the rules of time travel, not necessarily the method).

Login or register to comment